Status: Hiatus until further notice due to internet issues.
Tomorrow's Money
15 - Journal Entry Three
Journal Entry Three
I haven't been writing as much as I thought I would be. I try to only write when something inside me changes or when there is actually something to report on. Writing things out helps me figure out what's going on in my own mind. I don't know how much more I'll be writing, hopefully this is the last time. But.. You know.
Gerard has been gone for a total f almost 6 months now. I have to say I am so much better than I was the last time I wrote. I think I'm actually going to be happy again, though if someone told me 6 months ago that I'd be happy I would have called them a liar.
My 18th birthday is today, so happy birthday to me I guess. This is also the reason I'm writing. I'm having so many Gerard related thoughts today.. He said once I turned 18 everything would be okay. Today would have changed everything, had he not left. We would have been able to walk down the street hand in hand and not have to worry about getting into any trouble. He wouldn't have had to give up his college education or his career. he would have had it all and so would I. Today could have been an amazing day..
But instead, today I'll be spending my birthday with a man named William Francis. My parents met him somehow and completely fell in love with him and now expect me to. I've met him quite a few times now, he's not so bad. He filthy rich and he looks it. He's handsome, dresses nicely all the time, hair always slicked back perfectly. He even plays music, and very well at that. He used to be a singer for a grungy, punk band called Aiden, but now he just does solo shows and calls himself William Control. I have no idea how someone so rich and classy could have ever been in a punk band.
Anyway, I don't mind Wil. He's smart and kind, but sometimes he has a sort of demeanor about him that makes me feel uncomfortable, like I'm not up to his standards or I'm not smart enough to keep up with him. He's incredibly well versed in literature, especially writers like Poe and Oscar Wilde and Lovecraft. I do admit I have a hard time getting some of his jokes. Maybe we can get along. In any case, I need to move on in my life. I can't keep waiting on Gerard to show back up when he probably never will.
I still haven't seen Mikey. I find that odd. Where has he been the last few months? I feel like he's probably with Gerard somewhere, if he's not here. I feel sad for Mikey, having lost his brother because of me. I hadn't even considered how anyone else felt about Gerard disappearing. I sometimes feel like calling, to see if he'd answer, but I stop myself and walk away from the phone. I can't give in to that. I'm moving on and going on a date. With Wil. And if Gerard shows back up he can go fuck himself for being this way. If he wants to leave his family and everyone that ever loved him, then fine. But it won't stop me from being happy.
~Lily[font]
I haven't been writing as much as I thought I would be. I try to only write when something inside me changes or when there is actually something to report on. Writing things out helps me figure out what's going on in my own mind. I don't know how much more I'll be writing, hopefully this is the last time. But.. You know.
Gerard has been gone for a total f almost 6 months now. I have to say I am so much better than I was the last time I wrote. I think I'm actually going to be happy again, though if someone told me 6 months ago that I'd be happy I would have called them a liar.
My 18th birthday is today, so happy birthday to me I guess. This is also the reason I'm writing. I'm having so many Gerard related thoughts today.. He said once I turned 18 everything would be okay. Today would have changed everything, had he not left. We would have been able to walk down the street hand in hand and not have to worry about getting into any trouble. He wouldn't have had to give up his college education or his career. he would have had it all and so would I. Today could have been an amazing day..
But instead, today I'll be spending my birthday with a man named William Francis. My parents met him somehow and completely fell in love with him and now expect me to. I've met him quite a few times now, he's not so bad. He filthy rich and he looks it. He's handsome, dresses nicely all the time, hair always slicked back perfectly. He even plays music, and very well at that. He used to be a singer for a grungy, punk band called Aiden, but now he just does solo shows and calls himself William Control. I have no idea how someone so rich and classy could have ever been in a punk band.
Anyway, I don't mind Wil. He's smart and kind, but sometimes he has a sort of demeanor about him that makes me feel uncomfortable, like I'm not up to his standards or I'm not smart enough to keep up with him. He's incredibly well versed in literature, especially writers like Poe and Oscar Wilde and Lovecraft. I do admit I have a hard time getting some of his jokes. Maybe we can get along. In any case, I need to move on in my life. I can't keep waiting on Gerard to show back up when he probably never will.
I still haven't seen Mikey. I find that odd. Where has he been the last few months? I feel like he's probably with Gerard somewhere, if he's not here. I feel sad for Mikey, having lost his brother because of me. I hadn't even considered how anyone else felt about Gerard disappearing. I sometimes feel like calling, to see if he'd answer, but I stop myself and walk away from the phone. I can't give in to that. I'm moving on and going on a date. With Wil. And if Gerard shows back up he can go fuck himself for being this way. If he wants to leave his family and everyone that ever loved him, then fine. But it won't stop me from being happy.
~Lily[font]
♠ ♠ ♠
So yes, if anyone knows of William, you're in luck! I'm using him. lol BUT If you don't know who he is, NO WORRIES. You don't have to know a thing about him. I'll be sure to give all the information needed. (I'm not even sure how long he'll stick around for anyway, we'll see what you guys think of him after a few chapters and then I'll decide what to do with him) I decided to use him because I like his character, and the character I can create for him. He fits what I want perfectly (Though I've altered a lot about him) I hope you guys don't hate that I added him! Let me know if you do and maybe I'll go back and change this chapter around and create an original character instead. LET ME KNOW.