I'll Jump for You Bill Kaulitz

Bill’s POV

I couldn’t believe what I had done. My mind was racing and I felt sick. But that was me, I always took dare, always did what was asked of me to show off. Why did I have to show off?

It didn’t take long for Tom to bust down the door, I was too much of a wimp to do it myself, but upon seeing Tara lying on the floor, blood everywhere, I let out a shriek. I turned away from the scene while everyone else crowded in. I didn’t want to let them see me cry.

Georg was gonna pay for this is she was hurt. Oh Gott what if she was dead? No, I shook my head and thought about hiding in the bathroom, but would probably be made fun of if I did so I decided against it.

“She’s okay, right?” I asked, walking slowly over to the bed, where they had placed her. I put my hand to her head. She had just passed out, but she was fine. Her hand was another thing. Covered in blood.

Oh fuck there was a razor blade on the ground. Nice way to overreact Tara. I was still crying and walked over to the balcony so Tom wouldn’t laugh at me.

“Hey,” Gustav patted my back. “It’s okay. When she wakes up just explain things to her.”

“She’s never going to trust me again,” I sobbed out hysterically. Why did I have to be so emotional? Why couldn’t Tom have the emotions? Well, he would be the singer with the foot high hair then.

Bea was crying too, and Tom was barely comforting her. You know my brother could be a real dick at times. God he had no heart. And Tara would have no one to trust. Not me, not Bea, her best friend.

She was still out a half hour later. I was sitting next to her body on the bed, just waiting and holding her non-bloody hand. Bea had cleaned her other hand up good though.

How could I have done that, not even thought about how bad a decision that was? I was a sensible person, right?

I checked my cell. It was around two o’clock. Damn I almost forgot. We were flying to Berlin, and the flight was at five. I was really tempted to just stay here, just to say goodbye.

I found Tara’s cell phone on the bed and put my number in, just in case she decided she might want to talk to me again. God after everything that happened with this girl, from the first time I looked at her, I never thought it would end like this.

“Bill, we have to go and start packing,” Tom said, standing in the doorway.

I sighed. “I don’t wanna go Tom,” wtf? I was almost crying again.

He was looking at me weird and said in German, “We can’t go to a show without the lead singer.”

“I will get there eventually,” I didn’t want to look at him. He didn’t understand. This was something special.

“Bill come on we are leaving,” I heard Georg call from the next room.

“Just go!” I cried. “Seriously, I will catch up to you later.”

“No, you’re coming with us,” Tom stated firmly. “Would you like me to carry you or can you walk yourself?”

“I can walk myself, but I won’t until I tell Tara that I love her!” I yelled.

“Stop talking in English!” Tom yelled back.

“You can’t stop me!” I yelled back, grasping Tara’s hand tighter. I wasn’t going to let go until I told her I loved her and made everything better.

“Fine, if you wanna do this the fucking hard way,” Tom was literally about to pull me off the bed, but I got up myself before he did. “Bill, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Shut up Tom,” I walked out of the room before I was tempted again to stay.

I wiped the last tear that fell from my eye.

“Please try to explain this,” I said to Bea fast before Tom dragged me out the door. “And tell her I love her. Please.”

“I will,” Bea wasn’t looking too well herself. I knew most of the hurt Tara felt was because of me, but the rest was thanks to Bea. We had both made a stupid choice, and we knew it.