Nirvana

“This was a bad idea.” Harley muttered to herself as she stared at her reflection in the distorted elevator mirror. She thought she looked uncomfortable in the black dress with thick straps that fell off her shoulders, white contour sides and came just above her knees. She wanted to puke. She ran her hands through her curly hair and took in a shaky breath before stating again for the record, “Probably the worst idea I have ever had.”

“You look great. Good choice on the heels though.” Kelly told her, and Harley looked down at the python printed ones from her birthday. She knew showing up as Rich’s date was a blow to James’ ego, but she also knew that she couldn’t just cancel after already saying yes. Kelly looked back at Harley and said, “You look beautiful. Rich is lucky to have you as his date, but I also know that the minute James sees you’re shoes he’ll know he’s the one taking you home.”

Harley was never more unsure of her decision than she was right now, she couldn’t even remember why she had even agreed to go to this with Rich. She hadn’t even made appearances at these types of things when they were together. Now however she hated the idea even more, she really just wanted to stop the elevator and make it go back down to the main lobby and go home, but the elevator dinged and she knew there was no turning back now. She turned to Kelly and told her, “Thanks for the pep talk.”

Kelly reached out and fluffed Harley’s hair quickly before saying, “You got it.”

When the elevator doors opened both Rich and Craig were waiting for them. Neither of them had wanted to show up at the team and WAG time so they chose to meet everyone there. Rich held out his arm for Harley, and when she slid her own into his he leaned toward her, lips a few centimetres from her ear and told her, “You look beautiful.”

Forcing a smile on her face Harley told him, “You clean up pretty well yourself. Now, can we go find me a drink?”

Rich laughed but nodded and lead her to the bar. She caught James’ eye from across the room, and sent him an apologetic look but he turned away from her and engaged himself in a conversation with Pekka, which caused the goaltender to shoot her an eyebrow raise when he saw her arm in Rich’s. Harley turned away, ignoring it, and ordered herself a Manhattan, ditching her liquor rule for the night because she knew it was classier then asking for a beer. The moment her drink was set in front of her she pulled her arm from Rich’s, which he noticed but didn’t say anything to, and she was thankful when she saw Shea and Emma making their way toward them.

“I’m gonna go talk to some of the guys. You good?” Rich asked her, waiting until she nodded before he pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek, ignoring the voice in his head that was telling him he shouldn’t, and then he left her alone as his captain and wife joined them.

Harley caught both looks from the Webers and groaned, “Please don’t. I already feel bad enough.”

Shea didn’t say anything, ordering himself a drink but Emma looked down at her feet before back up at Harley and said with a smile, “Nice shoes.”

“I hate both of you.” Harley muttered, slamming back at least half of her drink. Shea shot her a look and she grumbled and told him, “Don’t you go all captain on me. I didn’t even want to be here.”

“Can I be Shea the friend then?” He asked, making Emma roll her eyes at him as she ordered herself a water. Harley sighed dramatically, which made Shea roll his eyes, and when she nodded he told her, “Talk to him. Can’t hurt right?”

Harley nodded slowly, he was probably right. She took a much smaller sip of her drink and Shea couldn’t help but jokingly smile happily at her. When they both saw James approaching Shea patted her shoulder before putting an arm around Emma’s and guiding her back toward a group of people Harley could only imagine were pretty important. Captain duties and all. James fell into the spot beside her, ordered a drink, and stared at his watch. Harley resisted the urge to touch him, more than anything she wanted to place her arm on his forearm and get him to look her in the eyes. Even more than that she wanted to find somewhere much more quiet and secluded to talk to him.

James finally turned to look at her, after he realized that she wasn’t leaving, and Harley pleaded softly, “Don’t be mad at me.”

She surprised herself just as much as she surprised James, she had never once been the kind of girl to plead. It was the same as begging in her book and neither were things she did. James struggled with himself for a minute before he told her, “I’m not. You already told him you’d go. It’s fine.”

Harley glanced at Shea and bit back her sigh, he had his back to her so she looked back at James. He was back to staring at his watch, like somehow the hands would move and it would be an acceptable time to go home. Harley stayed silent this time, having no clue what to say to him or how to respond to that. They stood in silence for several minutes, James staring at his watch, Harley glancing around the room. Her eyes fell on Rich, who was standing with Viktor, Craig and Pekka, he caught her eye and raised an eyebrow before turning away from her. He really wasn’t making this easy for her.

“When this is over can we just go somewhere and talk?” Harley asked him, watching him to gauge his reaction. He gave off no emotion and it was frustrating her.

“About what?” James asked, turning to her finally, watching as she looked back at Rich for a second before turning to him again. He knew he was being childish and he couldn’t say he gave a damn anymore. He knew it, Rich knew it, and Harley knew it, eventually she was going to have to choose and James knew it didn’t look so good for him.

“I thought you said you weren’t mad at me.” Harley told him, watching as his eyes flickered with annoyance.

“Why would I be? It’s not like we’re anything anyway.” His words surprised her, and for a second Harley was silent, she had no idea how to respond to that. She wasn’t sure if he said it to get a response from her or not, but she couldn’t deny that it hurt hearing it.

“Well clearly you are.” Was the only thing she could force out, and she watched as he clenched his knuckles around the glass he was holding. Finally something, some kind of reaction.

“Well I’m not.” Just like that he was stoic as ever, and Harley couldn’t read him even in the tiniest way anymore.

She sighed and asked him, “Then why are you acting like you are? You won’t look at me, you’re barely talking. I’ve already apologized a shit load of times, I don’t know what else you want me to do.”

James turned to her, stepped forward so they were closer, and he leaned down just enough to speak quietly, his voice venomous, “Stop acting like you’re a fucking couple.”

With that he left her standing at the bar by herself, taking his drink and walking across the room, finding the only group of his new teammates that were the furthest away from Rich. He couldn’t even be mad at Rich, and he definitely didn’t want to be mad at him, it wasn’t like Rich knew he and Harley were whatever it is that they were calling themselves. He was angry at himself, he was angry that she came on the arm of someone else, and he was really angry that he couldn’t even tell her why he was so angry. He was just plain pissed off and he didn’t know how to deal with it. Things were so much easier in Pittsburgh. There was no Harley Callahan in Pittsburgh.

Harley rejoined Rich, keeping a good foot away from him, which he noticed but didn’t bother voicing in front of everyone. He could tell whatever she and James had been talking about had upset her, and he figured he had a good idea what it was. She barely spoke, even when she was spoken to, and Rich was sure more than a few times he saw her glance over at James before shaking her head at herself. It was like she was fighting internally with something and she kept talking herself out of whatever she wanted to do.

Across the room Shea found James, pulling him aside where he told him, “I’m gonna give you some advice. It would do you well to listen to it.”

James let out a sigh, his hand sliding into the pocket of his dress pants, fingers clasping around the first key on his ring. He nodded slowly, “Okay. What?”

“First is that you have to be patient. Harley’s different. She’s not a girl you can impress with a few lines and your credit card. Rich already tried that, and she downplays what happened but I’m gonna let you know that she’s over him 100% but what happened between them she’s not over and she probably never will be. She’s got a lot to offer, and she wants to offer it to you, she just doesn’t know how to. She’s stubborn and she’s gonna frustrated the hell out of you but I think you know she’s worth it.” Shea told him, looking over at Harley. James followed his captain’s eyes, and he noticed she was standing with Kelly in between her and Rich. Shea looked back at James again and told him, “Everyone here either thinks her and Rich are still together, or that they got back together. You might want to do something to change that.”

James looked at him, eyebrow raised in surprise, “You’re telling me to make a scene.”

Shea laughed and shrugged, telling him, “I’m not tell you to do anything. You do what you think is right. Get her attention.”

James nodded, he was definitely telling him to make a scene. He wandered over to the bar, ordering himself another drink. He needed at least a few of them to go through with whatever he was gonna plan. He watched as Rich lead Harley away from their crowd, and his blood boiled. He knew he was a jealous person, but nothing in the past compared to how he felt right now, how he felt to be staring at Rich’s hand on her arm. He finished his drink and ordered a third, watching as they talked. He watched Harley shake her head at him, and pull away when he went to touch her. James could tell even from across the room what her words were less than nice, and that she was keeping her voice quiet despite the red cheeks that he knew only came out when she was really angry. As he watched them argue he finally figured out exactly what Shea meant.

- - -

“Rich what do you want?” Harley asked as he took his hand in hers and led her away from the group of his teammates they had been chatting with. He saw Kelly shoot Harley a look and he was thankful when he watched Harley shake her head at her. He stopped walking when they were in a slightly vacant area, wanting to get her as alone as possible so he could figure out exactly what was going on.

“I want to talk, I want to know what’s up with you lately.” Rich told her, reaching out to take her hand in his.

Harley pulled her hands away from him and told him, “Don’t do that.”

“Do what? Touch you? Since when has that been an issue?” Rich asked, lowering his voice as a couple passed them.

“Since you decided we weren’t a couple. Or did you forget about that part?” Harley asked, her voice bitter.

Rich struggled with himself for a minute, trying to decide how to respond to that dig, before he spoke quietly, “You’re a completely different person now than you were in August.”

“I am not.” Harley said stubbornly, crossing her arms over her chest for good measure.

“You are, and I’m not stupid. I know it has something to do with James.” Rich stated, watching as she kept her mouth shut and looked at his chest rather than his face. Her lips were pursed, he knew he was angering her, so he pushed her, “I know there’s something going on with you two.”

“There isn’t.” It wasn’t exactly a lie anymore, James had said so himself.

Rich sighed and told her, his voice hardening with anger, “What pisses me off is that you kept it a secret. Like it would bother you less if you thought I didn’t know.”

“Go to hell.” Harley bit back, stepping toward him so she could lower her voice, but still just as sharp and harsh she told him, “I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to hurt you. As screwed up as that is, that after everything you did to me I still care about your feelings.”

“Harley…”

Harley was a hard person to anger, but once you got her angry she took off like a rocket, there wasn’t a stop option. Rich now found himself in her line of fire again, just as he had many times when they were together, “I know you still have feelings and that in some weird way you still think there’s something there but there isn’t. There is nothing between us Rich. We’re done, and I really wish you would move on.”

With her piece said she turned away from him and went back to their group of friends. She stuck close to Pekka, which he took notice of and placed his hand on her back only for a fraction of a second, long enough for Harley to know he saw what went down and that he was there. He sent her a smile, handed her his drink and told her, “Half an hour and you can make a break for it. Really cause some waves and leave with the foreign goalie that doesn’t know any better.”

James kept his eyes on Harley, and when she laughed at something Pekka told her he set his glass down loudly and made his way toward her. Her name came out of his lips before he could stop it, and Harley barely had time to turn around before he crashed his lips against hers. The surprise nearly caused her to drop her drink, the force caused half of it to spill out of the glass and all over her hand and the floor. The only thing James could register was that she kissed back. When he pulled back, his hands still on both sides of her neck, his thumbs brushing over her jaw gently, he told her quietly, “It’s either me and everyone knows, or nothing at all.”

When Harley didn’t answer right away James began to think he had just made an idiot out of himself. His heart began to race and he felt like he might throw up, and then her free hand slid into his, giving it a squeeze, and his heart slowed. She smiled up at him and nodded, not sure she could say anything now, for the first time James had rendered her speechless.

Not that she had to say anything, Pekka looked at them and grinned and joked, “Or you could just go home with the new Canadian. I’ll just nurse my broken heart at the bar.”

James pulled her into him and Harley wrapped her arms around his waist as she let out a laugh at Pekka. She glanced around, finding Shea and mouthed ‘thank you’. When he nodded she looked up at James, he watching her with a small smile on his face. She knew they had a lot to talk about, but whatever had come over him in those moments leading up to that kiss, she hoped that never went away.