Nirvana

Are your secrets where you left them?

James was asleep on the couch with Sasha curled up on his chest when Harley got home that afternoon. She set her bag down as quietly as she could so not to disturb either of them, and she fished her phone out of it to snap a quick picture. Once she did she sat down beside James and ran her hand through his hair, "Babe."

He barely stirred, he shifted only slightly and his nose twitched so she continued running her hand through his hair before saying, "James, wake up."

When he woke up he moved again, which disturbed Sasha who upon seeing Harley was home jumped from James to her and attacked her face with kisses. She smiled, giving him a good rub while James stared at her. Went for dinner with Paul, had too many beers, didn't want to wake you by calling. 

Harley looked over to catch him staring, and with a smile on her face she asked him, "What?"

"Nothing." James told her with a shake of his head.

"Are you okay? You've been weird since you got back." Harley asked him curiously, her eyes staying on him as she continued to play with Sasha.

James nodded and lied, "Yeah, that trip was just exhausting."

"Poor baby. Hey buddy?" Harley asked the dog in a soft voice, kissing his snout. She was rubbing behind his ears when she asked him, "What do you think? Should I give daddy a massage and then we can all cuddle until dinner? Yeah? Does that sound good?"

"God yes." James let out, making Harley tilt her head back and laugh at him.

"You are such a suck." She told him, squealing when he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down on top of him. He kissed her temple, her cheek, her jaw, her neck, and then Sasha barked so James leaned over and kissed his snout for good measure.

As Harley laid on top of him, her chin resting on his chest, James ran his fingers up and down her back slowly and gently. He watched her arms break out in goose bumps, which made him smile. Eventually he looked at her and said, "So…about that massage."

"Hurry up then, we have to be at Emma's for 4:30. I somehow got suckered into helping cook for you animals." Harley told him, getting up and motioning for him to sit up. She grinned and told him, "Off with the shirt."

He peeled it off painfully slow, smirking at her when he caught her starting at him with a small smile on her face. She motioned with her index finger for him to lay on his stomach, so he did as he was directed and let out a loud 'oomf' when Harley sat on his butt. She smacked his upper back, leaving a red mark that made her grin, before she wiggled on top of him. James simply warned her, "You keep doing that and we aren't gonna make that dinner party."

She instantly stopped, and slowly pushed her palms into his back. It took a while but eventually he let out a grunt and she started working out a knot in his upper back. Sasha laid at James head, licked his forehead a few times before James reached up to pet him too and Harley smiled, "Aww massages for both my babies."

"Oh my god." Harley chuckled as James let out a groan as she pushed hard into another knot.

"See, I told you. You're totally the loud one."

- - -

There was only a few people at Emma and Shea's when they arrived. Kelly and Craig, Seth, Taylor and Roman were all sitting in the living room. Shea was apparently upstairs with Hannah, and everyone seemed to float from the living room into the kitchen when Harley and James showed up.

James leaned down to give Kelly a gentle hug before he looked at both her and Craig and told them, "Congrats."

Craig grinned and Kelly simply told him, "If this thing comes out a girl, don't question it if Craig goes missing."

There was a round of laughter, Harley passed everyone a new beer, giving Kelly a ginger ale and a sleeve of saltines, which the brunette glared at her for. Harley couldn't help but say, as Emma and Shea joined them, "See I told you. You guys have a baby boom on your hands."

"Baby boom?" Roman asked, confused by this.

Harley nodded, took a drink of her beer and explained, "Emma and Shea, then Fish and Carrie, and now Kelly and Craig."

"Yeah except it was supposed to be you that was next not me." Kelly muttered, making Harley choke on her mouthful of beer.

She controlled her coughing before wiping her face with the neck of her tshirt and then said, "No see I actually know how to use a condom. You two, apparently, do not."

"This is the weirdest conversation I've ever witnessed." Seth muttered, and Roman let out a chuckle at him.

Harley turned to Roman and told him, "Better watch it Roman. This is a very serious thing, you could be next."

Shea couldn't help but poke fun at his defense partner by saying, "He'd need to have a girlfriend for that to happen."

Harley turned to Shea with wide eyes, before she looked at Roman in confusion and stated, "You're single?"

His cheeks flushed light pink and he shrugged, "I mean…technically."

"How do you… I mean… how did he" She said pointing at James, "Manage to land me but you look the way you do and are single?"

"Hey!" James exclaimed as everyone laughed.

Harley patted his chest without taking her eyes off Roman and asked, "I'm sorry but have you looked at him lately?"

"I think the NHL should give out an award for the hottest team in the league. You guys would so win." Emma stated with grin.

Harley couldn't stop herself from saying, "Definitely the best butts."

"This is fucking weird." Shea muttered, and his teammates nodded in agreement.

Harley glanced behind James at his butt, made a grunting noise and stated, "Yup. Definitely the best butts."

"I agree, the hockey butts are real on this team." Emma stated with a nod of her head before she told Harley, "Your man's is probably the best."

"I think so too." Harley said with a grin, laughing when the guys all migrated to the living room.

Kelly ripped open her saltines, shoved two in her mouth and let out a loud breath of air through her nose. Emma smiled sympathetically at her, Harley almost laughed at the look on her face, but kept her mouth shut because she knew not to mess with crazy pregnant ladies.

She got to work slicing vegetables while Emma worked on marinating the steaks. Harley glanced at Kelly, who was still in the same position and asked, "You gonna live?"

She held her index finger up but said nothing. Harley dropped the knife when the doorbell rang and she practically skipped over to it, which made Kelly and Emma exchange a look. Yanking the door open she grinned at Pekka and said, "You're here!"

"I'm here." He said with a laugh, stepping inside and taking his shoes off. He went into the kitchen as Harley walked into the living room.

"Pekka is here." She announced, walking past the back of Shea's chair, grabbing Hannah from his lap while saying, "Thank you."

Shea rolled his eyes as she sat on the arm of his chair with Hannah and told her, "Get your own."

"Nah, I hear the birthing process is a bitch. I'd rather just steal yours." She told him before turning to Hannah, blowing a raspberry against her cheek. When she giggled and bounced up and down on Harley's lap Harley smiled and said, "Yeah, see I'm so much cooler than your dad, right?"

"Aren't you supposed to be in there helping cook?" Shea asked her with a smirk.

Kelly called out from the kitchen, "Harley cooking? Jesus take the wheel."

"I do not think it's fair to make Carrie Underwood references when Mike isn't here you know!" Harley yelled back, making the guys laugh.

"I thought you said Peks was here." Craig stated, glancing around.

Pekka stuck his head into the living room and said, "I am."

"Are you seriously hanging out with our wives?" Shea asked him with a raised eyebrow.

Shrugging Pekka told them, "I have to be around you idiots every day. I'd rather talk babies while cutting vegetables."

"I find that mildly offensive." Seth muttered, making them all laugh.

"I find your face mildly offensive so…" Taylor said to Seth, and while the guys laughed Harley rolled her eyes.

She got up from Shea's chair, looked at Hannah and said, "It's like hanging out with children. Wanna go see what mommy's doing?"

Harley walked into the kitchen to find Emma and Kelly talking about epidurals and the real truths behind labor. Just as soon as she walked into the kitchen she turned right back around and walked out and back into the living room. She took the seat between Craig and Roman and told Shea, "Your wife just made my ears bleed by talking about her 16 hour labor with your gremlin baby."

Shea let out a booming laugh, and Hannah tried to mimic it. Harley couldn't help but laugh as Seth said, "Do it again."

"That's actually the cutest thing I've ever seen." Harley stated, poking Hannah on the nose. She looked up at Harley and reached up, clapping her hands together and nearly clipping Harley in the face. Harley pulled her face back and said, "Jesus kid. Watch it, we all know I make good tips off this face."

"I'm sure that's your money maker." Shea told her, making everyone chuckle.

Harley looked over at him and stated, "Excuse you Weber. I am very aesthetically pleasing to look at."

"Never said you weren't. But you don't exactly leave much to imagine with the shorts you wear."

"I love that you aren't even concerned with making these comments in front of James." Taylor stated with a smile.

Harley let out a laugh, which caused everyone, James included, to turn and look at her. She then explained her laughter by saying, "Have you seen the two of them stand beside each other? I highly doubt Shea is scared of James."

"I'm gonna lock you in the basement the next time we have one of these things and come alone you know." James told her with a smirk.

"That is just rude and uncalled for."

- - -

James followed Harley into the house, watching as she bent down to pet Sasha quickly. She turned her head over her shoulder to look at him and told him, "You should check out the blue prints for the bar. They're on the table, I'm gonna have a quick shower."

He nodded and pulled the stack of papers out of the manila envelope and sat down at the table. Sasha curled up on the floor at his feet as he flipped through the blue prints. They weren't changing much, a face lift to all the booths and tables, they were adding in a kitchen in the back to serve food, something Harley had wanted to do every since she opened the place. He stopped when he saw he blue print layout for the apartment above the bar, someone had messy written beside it 'Staying or Going?' And underneath in Harley's writing was 'Keeping'.

He stacked all the papers together and put them back, he wasn't sure if she had forgotten to get rid of that or what, but whatever it was seeing her write 'keeping' on it made his blood boil. He went upstairs and into the bedroom, he glanced in the closet, seeing how neat and organized it finally was before he walked past the dresser, where there was a picture of Hannah when she was first born in a frame. He picked it up and sat down on the edge of the bed, staring at it.

He was still sitting there when Harley got out of the shower and walked into the bedroom in a towel, he didn't say anything to her so she walked into the closet to get dressed. When she walked back into the bedroom the picture was back on the nightstand and James was leaning against the door frame.

He watched as Harley got the bed ready and couldn't stop himself from glancing at the picture of Hannah again before asking, "Do you want kids?"

It caught her off guard and she turned to him, eyebrow raised. When he didn't further his question she simply said, "One day."

"Okay but when is one day?" James asked her, not moving from his spot. She put the pillow she was holding back onto the bed and turned to face him fully.

"I don't know. Why?" Harley asked curiously, watching as he shrugged and glanced around the room. He was avoiding her eyes, she knew it, but still she remained silent as he flipped through his options on what to say back to her. On how to answer her.

Finally after a few very long minutes of silence James said, "You want kids."

Harley nodded slowly, "Yeah I thought we established that a while ago."

"That's the thing though Harley. You want kids, soon and I'm just not sure I'm ready for that yet." James told her honestly, confusing her even more.

"I'm not saying I want to go get pregnant tomorrow James. I'm just saying that maybe in a few years that's something I'd like." Harley stated, watching as he nodded slowly.

He ran a hand through his hair and told her, "You're not getting what I'm saying."

"You're right, I'm not." Harley said, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

She expected James to do the same, but he simply stayed where he was. They stayed silent for at least a good five minutes before James said to her, "I'm saying that I'm not gonna be ready for kids in a few years. I'm saying it's gonna be more than a few years before I want to start a family."

Harley didn't know what to say to that, the truth was they had never truly talked about their future together. Their entire relationship seemed to be do first ask questions later. Eventually she looked up at him and asked, "I'm not quite sure I know what you're trying to get at here."

He let out a small sigh and told her, "I just… I don't know if I'm really the right guy for you."

"Are you seriously trying to break up with me right now? Over the idea of having kids in the far away future?" Harley asked incredulously, not quite believing it herself.

"I just wonder if maybe you should have gotten back with Rich instead of starting this thing with me." When he told her this she got up, gave him a good, hard shove and wordlessly walked past him and down the stairs.

Once she was in the kitchen she began looking for her keys as James walked into the kitchen and stared at her. Finally she turned on her heels and asked him, "Why don't you just say it?"

"Say what?" James asked her, not having a clue what she was talking about.

"That you don't want to be in this relationship anymore." Harley told him, watching as he sighed and shook his head. She rolled her eyes at that, damn near scoffed, and then said, "All of a sudden this is real. God forbid this entire relationship be a real thing."

"That's not what this is about." James told her, frustrated. Harley shook her head at him this time. She went to grab her keys from the counter but James beat her to them, holding them in his hands he told her, "You're not leaving until we finish this."

"Finish what? You've made it perfectly clear that we already are finished." Harley told him, ignoring the look he gave her she continued, "Okay, you want to finish this. Let's talk. What do you want to talk about James? How you all of a sudden think I should go back to my ex? How you're acting like I mean absolutely nothing to you? Oh, I know! How about we talk about how once again I fucked up my relationship. Good job Harley, really nice."

James let out a sigh, and for just a second Harley thought he was going to hand her keys to her and let her leave. However he simply put them into the pocket of his jeans and stated, "You're blowing this way out of proportion."

"I don't get this. Why are you all of a sudden picking this fight? What the hell happened?" Harley asked him, her arms crossed over her chest.

James simply sighed in response and stood in silence until he calmly told her, "I just don't want you to waste your time."

"No it's you that doesn't want to waste your own time James."
♠ ♠ ♠
EIGHT. MORE. CHAPTERS.

Also I'm sorry, but I didn't say it wouldn't get worse before it got better. Just please stick with me because it does get better I promise.

Comments and thoughts are much loved.

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