Anything to See You Smile

Andy dropped his keys on the coffee table and sunk into a chair, rubbing his eyes wearily.
Weddings were exhausting, boring affairs. Anna had been sweet. She was the sweetest girl, person, thing he'd ever come across. So pure, so open and untainted by the world. But she wasn't it. She was exciting and beautiful and so, so adorable. But she didn't make his breath catch in his throat, she didn't capture the dark side of his mind that he had tried to suppress since school.

He was too tired to really feel the frustration and anger that was built up inside of him, instead he just wearily looked at the clock, noting silently that it was 4am.

He was just beginning to fall asleep on his hand when he heard a noise outside the apartment and he heard the scrapings of the key around the lock. He knew Oli was trashed and couldn't get the metal inside its counterpart, but it vaguely amused him somewhere to sit back and listen to his friend struggle rather than help.
The lock finally clicked and Oli clambered into the apartment, seeing Andy sitting there and not looking surprised.

"Have fun? I didn't think the actual wedding party would go on this long."

"It didn't.."

"Right," Andy wasn't shocked, he'd known Oli would be with Liam at this time of night.
"..so, how was Liam in real life?"

"Stop judging me." He threatened, dropping his shoes and keys on the floor and walking towards Andy.

"You've done things like this before. You can't Jude."

"I'd never fuck with Ashley's wedding even if I did have the chance to have a really hot fuck....in real life let alone online."

"Ok so that was a bit out of order I'll admit - but it all worked out in the end?" He sat on the couch arm facing Andy.

"Right, cause that makes it ok."

"Oh c'mon Andy! I'm getting really sick of this thig you're doing."

"What thing?"

"Taking offence at everything I say? It's starting to get old."

"I'm not."

"Ok, so can you stop being such a little bitch all the time?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, tell you what I'll move in with Ashley and you and Liam can set up your love nest right here." Oli made a frustrated gesture as he walked into the kitchen and soon there were arms round him.

"Stop being mad at me." Andy hid his smile.

"You think you can hug me and force the madness out of me?"

"Absolutely." Andy chuckled and Oli squeezed him tighter.

"There we go....oh, bye madness, see it's just rolling away." Andy turned around and Oli shoved his hands in his pockets, shy grin on his face.

"I'm not mad at you.... I'm just annoyed."

"They're synonyms." Andy rolled his eyes.

"I mean I'm mad at the situation rather than you!!!"

"Why?"

"I.....I don't know.... I'm going to shower, you do the same." Suddenly quiet, he left leaving Oli feeling confused and concerned.

When Andy was finally finished he quickly moved into his bedroom and shut the door, muttering a quick goodnight. That was that opportunity missed. Oli showered and got into bed in a daydream. He couldn't understand why Andy would be so annoyed. What he would be annoyed at. It made no sense.

Andy was almost relieved that he was so wound up he wasn't in the mood to jerk off. Almost. He didn't know what it was but his whole body was crackling with energy and restlessness despite his exhaustion. He began pacing up and down his room, in the end he grabbed clothes and went out for a walk which turned into a run. When he returned he was shattered, but still felt the same. He jerked off, twice. Still the same. He showered again and forced himself to lie in bed, hoping he'd drift off to sleep. Fat chance.

He ended up watching rubbish television until Oli woke up in the morning.
"Please tell me you're not awake from last night."

"Urm....I'm not awake from last night?"

"Andy! You're awake from last night? I heard you go out...then shower? You kept me up for ages. Did you go for a hookup too? Mrs Judgmental?"

"No I went for a run."

"You what?"

"Got too much energy...went for a run, still couldn't sleep so I watched tv." Oli looked at him like he was insane, his mouth opened and closed a few times before he gave up trying to find something to say and made toast.

"No thanks." Andy replied when he called out, asking if he wanted any.

When Oli came and sat down next to him on the couch, Andy felt ready to shoot through the ceiling and into outer space. Every chew and crunch sent irritation through Andy and that energy was still there, threatening to explode at any second.
"I'm going out." Andy exclaimed, standing up so suddenly that Oli threw his plate up in the air and had to catch it again.

"Fucking hell what is wrong with you?!!?"

"Don't know." He shut himself in his room and downloaded Grindr. Within eight minutes he'd had messages. There was a slightly older guy called Sebastian only a few hundred feet away. He said he was into kinky stuff...really kinky stuff. Andy bit his lip as he considered it. The last time he'd felt like this was the first time he'd tried BDSM. He'd been a sub for an older guy, and it took every last thought and drop of energy out of him. Andy longed for that feeling again, so he arranged to meet the guy in an hour.

"Where are-" Andy had shut himself in the bathroom to start preparing himself before Oli could finish his question.

"You're going on a date, aren't you? Putting all this effort in."

"Nope. I'll see you later." Andy denied the question and left the apartment, heart thrumming.

"Andy...hi." Andy looked up at the man who opened the door - it wasn't very often he got to look up to people at his height. He was older, dark hair, muscles, a very square jaw which was littered with precision engineered stubble.

"Hey, Sebastian?"

"That's me, come on in." He shook his hand and stood aside. Andy walked into the vast apartment, it was an old converted warehouse so the space was huge, modern, clean. Sebastian moved to take off his jacket for him. He tutted and took hold of Andy's shoulders with his large hands, rubbing them methodically.

"So tense...how long has it been since you did this? From the way you spoke I'm guessing it's not your first time."

"No...um...like five years ago? I got pretty into it at one point, so I know what I'm talking about but then I just...stopped."

"No one just stops BDSM. How come you did?" He fetched them drinks as he offered Andy a seat.

"Didn't want my roommate to find out." Sebastian nodded understandingly.

"It's a difficult thing to explain to people, I know. The best thing is to be honest...if you need it, you need it. And the tension coming from you...I think you need it. Have things been giving you hassle recently? Doesn't look like you've slept." Andy shook his head and sipped at the ice water.

"I didn't sleep last night, no. I figured it was probably about time to try this again." He smiled and nodded and Andy, once again, noted how attractive he was.

"I want you to know that I know what I'm doing, I'm a very experienced Dom, so you can trust me to sense your limits even if you can't tell me. The room is soundproofed so don't worry about making noise...don't worry about anything, actually. I hate seeing people so wound up like you. We'll get rid of that no problem." Andy nodded.

"Thank you."

"I wanted to ask what aspects of this do you really like? We can try all sorts of things but...it'd be nice to get a heads up."

"I like bondage - I can handle all of that. Um...edging, hitting, slapping, flogging, I like electricity if you have it....pretty much everything, to be honest. I'm open to whatever - besides bodily fluids - I like being surprised." Sebastian looked pleased.

"Excellent. Well, we'll see what happens then. What kind of set up do you like?"

"Just the traditional bed really, but if you like other stuff I'm cool to go along with it. I'll be happy in the end, whatever happens." Sebastian chuckled and nodded knowingly.

"Ok, so before we start do you have any questions for me?"

"Ok...uh...how many subs do you have? If you don't mind me asking."

"I actually recently lost my sub - we were in a relationship and he broke up with me - found someone else, therefore found another dom. I don't have any others. I prefer to keep to a maximum of two at a time, I don't enjoy abusing my power as a Dom." Andy nodded, secretly pleased, and stood up.

"Ok, thank you."

"Good. So you know you can trust me." Andy nodded and Sebastian leant down to kiss him. He immediately enjoyed it - he was such a man, Andy hadn't been with a man in too long. Everything from his physical stature to the way he touched and handled Andy screamed strength, and Andy was relieved to relinquish his power entirely.

Sebastian's hands moved up inside his top and lifted it from his body, placing it on the couch whilst returning to his lips. His cologne smelt expensive, but not overpowering, his stubble scraped against his chin, and when he sat on the back of the couch and pulled Andy against him he could feel the muscles under his shirt. He was hard already.

"Safeword's red, ok?"

Oli opened the door to see Jake.

"Oh, hey, it's you."

"Nice to see you too, douchebag." He joked, slapping Oli's head gently.

"Sorry."

"Where's Andy?" He shrugged.

"Oh, that's why you.."

"Yep. He's been weird since yesterday, I think he might be meeting someone today but he wouldn't tell me who or where he was going. I don't know why but I'm worried." Jake nodded in agreement.

"Not sleeping, been hyperactive again?"

"Yeah." Jake sighed and shifted uncomfortably.

"What? You know something I don't, don't you?"

"No. Just....if he doesn't show up today, call me."

"Jake-"

"Just do it, Oli. I'll talk to you later. In the meantime I'll try calling him." Jake left the apartment, unease settling in.

Andy had asked him not to tell anyone years ago - especially Oli. He was the only one who knew about what he did....what he was into. He'd tried to tell him it wasn't a big deal, everyone had a kink. But Andy was ashamed, he thought it was a huge deal. So Jake had promised.

He left the building quickly and dialled Andy's number. Straight to voicemail.
"Andy, it's Jake. Listen, I've just been round to yours and obviously you're not there. I know what you're doing, and how long it's been. Just...please call me and let me know that you're safe. Don't do anything stupid, Andy. Don't get carried away. Make sure you trust whoever you're with. Be sensible...okay, bye."

Andy wasn't aware anymore. He could feel everything, but it was delayed, he wasn't concentrating. Sebastian could tell and he stopped the electricity and started fucking him - not wanting to push him too far. They came quickly after being so wound up for so long. Sebastian pulled out after they'd caught their breath and tried to talk to Andy who was still out of it. He carried him to the bathroom and ran them both a bath instead, pulling Andy in on top of him and letting his already cold skin warm up.

He towelled him off and put his boxers back on him, and one of his own long sleeved tops which was too big for him before tucking him into his own bed. He was already drowsy.

Sebastian hadn't realised how much ability Andy had as a sub. He went into subspace even though it was their first time, and quicker than anyone else he'd ever encountered, he'd been responsive throughout, was able, and even enjoyed taking everything Sebastian threw at him. He was talented, and yet still had an air of innocence about him, which Sebastian found endearing. He liked the younger man, and already hoped that he'd have the chance to do this again.

Oli had been out with Josh, Nicholls, Matt and Lee to help Jordan and Emma with the house. They'd spent all day furniture moving and decorating - which Lee and Matt were told not to do after they managed to paint a wall wrong. The happy couple had then offered to take them out to dinner to say thank you, and Oli didn't get back until late...Andy still wasn't home.

Sebastian put his laptop on the coffee table when Andy walked out of the bedroom - still somewhat shakily.
"I'm sorry...I didn't realise how late it was, I was completely out of it." He smiled and nodded.

"Yeah you were. Don't worry - it's part of it. How are you feeling?"

"I'm ok - thanks to you. I should probably be getting home."

"You should probably try to eat and drink something first - might make you a bit more stable." Andy nodded and started pulling on his jeans - Sebastian noticed he didn't change his top though, instead he pulled the sleeves over his hands and shivered involuntarily.

"Are you cold? I turned the heating up."

"No I'm fine, thanks." He smiled to himself - they were always reluctant to be completely open at first.

"Want coffee?"

"Sure, thanks. I'll make it if-"

"No it's fine. You sit down. You went through a lot today...the least I can do is look after you now." Andy smiled gently and sat on a barstool, watching him sleepily.

"How long did we go on for?"

"A long time...I'd say six hours, give or take." Andy gaped slightly but nodded.

"Wow. That's the longest I've ever done." He chuckled slightly, handing him a cup, and Andy cringed.

"Oh, is that nothing compared to your record?"

"It's still a long time."

"Cmon, tell me your record."

"Ten hours." Andy spluttered slightly on the caffeine - fuelled liquid.

"Jesus!!" He smiled.

"Yeah that was extreme...but that was near my beginning days as a sub." Andy smiled and he raised his eyebrows.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing....just can't picture you as a sub is all." Sebastian laughed and nodded.

"Yeah, it's been a while. How are the marks? Especially the ropes." Andy lifted up the top and whistled at the red welts on his skin. Sebastian winced and looked guilty, apologising quietly.

"I did put some cream on them once we were out of the bath...you might need to do that again later."

"Don't apologise, I had a great time. It was just what I needed. I feel chilled out again - finally."

"Glad to hear it...hopefully I'll see you again some time?"

"Yeah, yeah I'd like that." He nodded and turned round to start cooking - turning up the radio in the process. Andy laughed at him dancing as he cooked.

"So you're obviously not a pro dancer...what do you do?"

"Hey, I might be....but no, boring job I'm afraid - I'm an investment banker." Andy whistled.

"Wow, impressive."

"And you're a singer. I'm sorry I didn't recognise you straight away."

"Don't worry - I'm glad you didn't. People treat you differently. I imagine they do the same to you."

"Not in the same way but yes, when people find out you have money they either get too friendly or run a mile. There's only the rare few who treat you the same." Andy didn't even stop himself from staring as he bent over to get some vegetables out of his fridge.

"So how come you got into banking?"

"I wish I had a nice story for you. I was a superficial child with poor parents who wanted to be rich. So I got money...and now I wish I'd've chosen a career that I actually enjoyed. But if I had I would've been cursing myself out for not making a fortune. What can you do." Andy laughed understandingly.

"Well it's surely better to do it your way, now you have money you can do whatever you want, right?"

"Yeah....yeah I suppose so. I've never thought of it that way." He tipped the food into bowls and gestured over to the dining table which was in front of a wall made entirely from glass.

"This place is amazing...but yeah, what are you interested in? Thank you." He took the bowl, the smell making his mouth water, and began eating with Sebastian who thought carefully about his question.

"Don't laugh at me, but my original dream was to be a chef."