Anything to See You Smile

"Ok...I went out to every place I know last night, he wasn't anywhere. He must've stayed with someone."

"I wouldn't be worried...but he always tells me where he's going...I always tell him. It's the rule. He always..." Oli shook his head sadly and Jake patted his shoulder.

"He's gonna be fine....look, I have a hot lunch date with my parents in an hour..." Jake rolled his eyes sarcastically.
"...so I'll have to leave in a half hour, but I'll stay till then. And if anything happens you have to call-"

They both swung round as Andy walked through the front door. His smile fell and Oli stood up.

"Where the hell have you been?!"

"What?"

"Where have you been? We've been worried-"

"Oh shut up you drama queen, I'm a grown man-"

"You and me always tell each other where we're going. Always."

"Well I'm alive aren't I? My bad for not telling you." Oli shook his head angrily.

"So that's it. Jake's been out all over town looking for you, and I've been worried sick. And that's all you say. We didn't even know if you were alive for Christ's sake!!!"

"You're so dramatic."

"I'm..gonna go." Jake took that cue to leave and Oli clenched his fists as Andy sat down casually.

"When we have a rule that we always stick to and you start acting weird then don't listen to that rule - I get worried. I'm sorry for caring." He turned away, blood boiling, and Andy stood up.

"Oli I'm sorry, if I'd've known you'd be so worried, I would've called." Oli turned round.

"So where were you?" Andy suddenly swayed on his feet and Oli noticed his paler-than-usual complexion, clouded eyes and shaky hands.

"Did you do drugs last night?" Andy pulled a face.

"What the fuck? After what you went through, are you insane?!"

"I don't know anymore-"

"Oh dammit Oli! No I was not doing drugs-"

"Then what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing!!!"

"Fine." Oli slammed his bedroom door and Andy collapsed against the wall, exhausted.

Oli was livid. Inconsiderate bastard. He sat on his bed, fuming, and thought about what would be the best way of annoying Andy.
"Hey Li, it's me."

"Oh, hey Oli! I wasn't expecting to hear from you at this time in the morning."

"Yeah sorry about that...listen, are you doing anything today?"

"No, why?"

"I was wondering if you were free, wanted to come over?"

"Be there in ten."

Andy fell asleep almost as soon as his head touched the pillow. He only woke up a fraction when he heard the door open, when he heard voices he woke up further. When he heard sex noises he bolted out of bed to look through the keyhole. He felt sick. He left the apartment even though he knew he wasn't in a fit state to do so. He couldn't sit there and listen to it.

He began shivering as he left the building and a constant blast of cold air buffeted him, even though he had four layers of clothing on. He started walking shakily down the street, trying to ignore the cold that was so vicious it felt as though it were seeping into his bones. His phone rang and he moved to a building, shielding himself from the wind as he answered it.

"Hello?"

"Andy? It's Jake, I was just wondering if you two fought it out yet."

"Oh...oh right, um..yeah, yeah we did. Thanks."

"Andy, you ok?"

"Yeah I'm good."

"You feeling a bit out of it?"

"Nah, nah I'm....I'm fine."

"What's that noise? Where are you?"

"Just out."

"What the hell? You need rest - go home."

"I can't....Oli's got Liam there...I can't..."

"Who the hell's Lia- never mind. Listen, where are you? I'll come get you. You need to be in the warm and resting, Andy. You know that."

"Thanks Jake but I just wanna be alone."

"Andy..."

"I'll be fine, see you later." He hung up and cursed when he saw a voicemail from Sebastian:

"Hi Andy, just wanted to check in and make sure you're ok...today was great and I hope I see you again soon...and don't stop letting yourself do this because of what other people think...it's not worth it, Andy. Anyway, call me - bye." He sat on a step to another building and cursed the weather once again.

"Excuse me, mate. You wouldn't happen to have any change on ya, would ya?" A homeless man approached him, Andy felt sad to look upon his weathered, kindly face and know he'd have to endure the weather all year long.

"Yeah, actually I do. Sorry, it's not much-" He emptied his pocket and the man nodded gratefully.

"Thank you so much, sorry to bother you - thank you!!"

"You're more than welcome. Have a good night."

"You too." Andy relented after another half an hour and returned to the apartment begrudgingly - now feeling dizzy and nauseous from not resting. Oli was in the kitchen in his boxers, Andy couldn't even look at him.

"Andy-"

"Don't bother. I need sleep." He shut himself in his room and ignored the guilty note in his friend's voice.

Oli thumped the kitchen counter weakly, his guilt was chewing away at his insides and he felt horribly uncomfortable. He hated hurting Andy. When he asked Liam to leave - giving the excuse that Andy was sick - he felt even guiltier.

He pulled clothes on and sat on the couch, hoping Andy might come out of his bedroom for anything so that he could intercept him and apologise. He waited for three hours before Andy walked - shakily - out of his room. He sighed when he saw him waiting and walked straight past him.

"Andy-"

"I don't wanna talk now, Oli."

"I'm sorry. That was a low thing to do I-"

"I don't want...to talk now..." He looked flustered and agitated and weak all at the same time.

"Are you alright?"

"Just leave me alone!!" Oli flinched and took a step backwards.

"You're my best friend, I'm not gonna leave you alone when you're in this state." Andy flicked the switch on the kettle and poured instant coffee into a mug - twice the amount he'd normally have.

When Oli flung his arms around him and hugged him tightly, Andy didn't have the energy or the will to push him away.
"I'm sorry."

"Just go away. I feel sick that's all." The home phone began ringing and he was relieved when Oli let him go.

"Hello?...umm I'm his roommate, who is this?...ok...I'll...I'll just get him for you- Andy. There's a guy on the phone for you."

"Coming." He took a few swigs of the coffee - burning his tongue in the process - and took the phone from Oli.

"Hello?"

"Hi Andy, it's Sebastian. Sorry to call you here I didn't think about your roommate not knowing-"

"Don't worry about it."

"I just called because...well to be honest I just felt really uneasy and I wondered if you were alright?"

"I'm..." He glanced over to the kitchen where Oli was making his own drink - pretending not to be listening.

"I'm..."

"Say fantastic if you're not feeling well."

"Fantastic." Sebastian sighed.

"I knew I should've asked you to stay longer...why aren't you asleep?"

"It's a whole long roommate story...I'll be fine. It was sweet of you to call though." A little happiness sprung through him as Sebastian laughed gently.

"Thanks - but hey, if you need anything give me a ring. Talk soon. Bye." Andy put the phone down and returned to his cup.

"So who was that?"

"A friend."

"Ok..." Andy sipped at his drink again whilst Oli stirred his - clearly trying to suppress his curiosity.

"If you have something to ask me Oli - just say it."

"Nothing, no- was he who you were with yesterday and last night?"

"Yes." Oli nodded.

"Look I don't even care about all this anymore - I'm sorry I didn't call you yesterday - and you're sorry you shagged Liam just to piss me off. I think we're even." Oli nodded, still dissatisfied.

"Then why're you still angry?" His voice was small, tentative, and Andy sighed.

"I'm just....tired."