Status: Active

The Beach

I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.

JACK'S POV

"You're so not coming here" was the first thing I said when Alex told me that their marvellous trip consisted in travelling to where I lived.

It's not that I didn't want to see Alex -that'd be amazing- but the fact that we met online and had talked to only over two months scared me quite a lot; I knew that he wasn't some kind of pedo who was trying to have my address and intended to rape me or something like that but only imagining that I'd be next to the person I liked, sorry; my boyfriend, was just another reason for wanting to lock myself in the closet and remain there for the rest of my life.

I wasn't quite ready to see my boyfriend in person for the first time just yet. Doesn't that sound kind of funny? I guess everyone who's dating someone would feel like dying if they didn't see their partner on a daily basis, but I wasn't like that. I wasn't a needy person and never had been; in fact, I had always had everything I wanted and if I didn't, then that meant I didn't really need it.

Having someone in your life who has passed the thin line that separates friendship and relationship had intrigued me in some aspect. As much as I liked to think that I needed someone like that in my life, it was utter bullshit but I happened to have one of those relationships and I was completely happy with that for now.

I thought about it for a moment. To be honest, I had been thinking about it for hours, days even, since I had nothing to do and I found myself wondering about pointless things such as why toes are the way they are or why when the wind blows the hair off your face you get the feeling that everyone is looking at how ridiculous you look with your hair pulled back and your forehead is showing.

I realised that I could spend two weeks with the guy I liked, and I wasn't really aware of that until it really hit me that such thing could happen and that it wasn't only a fantasy or a thought of mine.

I had the opportunity of meeting him, not probably many people who are experiencing a long distance relationship have the chance to meet their partner and it'd be a selfish thing to do if I refused to meet him because I knew people out there were and still are willing to meet their beloved partner someday.

Who knows, maybe loads of things would happen or change if we did indeed meet each other at some point.

Alex mentioned something about a youth hotel where they were going to spend those holidays, I didn't really pay attention to him, I was already planning everything out -which was unusual in me.

I don't know where the sudden strenght came from but I felt brave and asked him if he wanted to stay at my place instead of paying to stay in a shitty hotel that was surely pretty far from my house.

At first, I doubted that he'd agree with me on that considering that he was meant to come here in order to spend time with his friends and not me. But then again, he wouldn't have had suggested to come near me just because he wanted to go sightseeing, right?

After a few moments and a few phone calls, he agreed eagerly grinning ear to ear. I guess you could tell who was the confident one and who the shy one.

He told me that he had talked to his friends about the whole thing. I had imagined that some of them wouldn't like the idea of Alex liking boys, it's never easy to explain such things to people around you or even the ones you are really close to. I yet had to tell my mom that I was gay and that my lovely boyfriend from across the country was coming over for two weeks.

Some girl called Cassadee had made the other guys put themselves in Alex's shoes and convinced them of me being Alex's main source of happiness, I don't know if I was or not but I already really liked the girl.

After a few hours of talking about everything we would do the weeks that Alex was staying over, I was no longer willing to keep my relationship a long distance one but a real one in which I could face my partner, touch them, kiss them, take them out and lay around with them when we'd get bored.

So I reset my mind and prepared myself for some real action.

Soon enough, Alex was loudly screaming my name through his laptop's microphone. I had slightly zoned out; this usually happened when I was upset or something concerned me. I tend to think too hard about anything and everything, which makes everything even more difficult than it already is. But this time was different, I was thinking for good.

Meeting my boyfriend of almost three months for the first time, at my house, him staying with me for two whole weeks with no one who could possibly interrupt us, that wasn't a thing I had planned out to be happening in the future.

That was the only source of my happiness at the moment; Alex.

Before I could say or do anything, talk to Alex or shuffle on my bed, there was a knock on the door and a dark figure appeared throught the room. It was my mom, and I though that it'd be an excellent idea to ask her about the whole trip thing on a Tuesday night at 3AM, I was utterly oblivious about what time it was, Alex's girly high pitched voice must had had awoken her up.

"Jack! What do you think you're doing? It's three in the morning. Do you even consider that your father could get up and see you still here on your laptop? Do you want to die or something?" She tried to yell at me but she was afraid of my dad finding out that we were both awake at early hours in the morning.

"Mom" I whispered. "Can I bring a friend over to spend two weeks here?"

I tried to pull the best puppy eyes I could pull and pouted a little, turning my back to Alex - the computer.

"I'll do all the chores and go to bed early every night and get up really early if you let him stay with us" I clapped my hands together like old people do when they pray and closed my eyes.

She yawned and rubbed her eyes.

"Whatever. You'll have to cook for him and prepare your room and everything you need. This is your bussiness, not mine. Now go to sleep before I kick your ass. We're going to work" She said and closed the door behind her.

Alex widened his eyes and threw his hands up in victory.

I decided that I would start applying the 'Conditions for Alex to come home' the next day because I knew that we were both way too excited about the whole thing to even go to sleep that night.

We planned everything out.

How long he would be staying at my place; 16 days, according to his friends. They said something about the hotel being cheaper if they stayed there those exact days, something like that. I didn't pay much attention to that since I only cared about what Alex was going to do on those days.

The clothes he should wear and should not wear, the ones he would have to carry on his handbag, but that was no problem because Alex and I seemed to wear the same size and type of clothes.

If he had to pay for his own food. We decided that we would have meals at home, cook our own food and let me parents do the same even if I knew that my mom would end up cooking for the two of us. He made sure he was taking extra money to take me out to dinner some of the nights.

I told him that it wasn't necessary but he insisted.

It came to a point that night where I was being all emotional and looked like a tomato in response to some cute names Alex was calling me.

We finished the videocall and started typing because it was now 6AM and his parents were probably going to get up soon and check on him.

Alex took that opportunity to send me a lovely message while we were still on skype, which I screenshoted and saved on my phone. Now that we couldn't face each other and wouldn't stop ourselves from talking taking in account the other's facial expression.

It read;

'I want this week to end right now, y'know? I want to take a train, bus or whatever it takes me to get there even if I have to sit down and wait sever hours to get to your door, because it is all worth it.

I want you to greet me at your door or wait for my arrival at the bus stop, be all shy and look at your feet waiting for me to get closer and hug you. Let a few tears roll down your cheek as mine do so too, if you really feel that what we've got is something special, because for me it is really special; because that's the way you are. You know it, I know it and I love it.

You'll wait for me to pull away and maybe kiss you, link our fingers and wait for my friends to introduce themselves. We'll say goodbye and part in different directions. Walk back home doing small talk because I know we'll feel uncomfortable for a few hours, even days depending on how days go by.

I'll get to meet your parents and he'll tell them that I'm your boyfriend and we'll all get along together.

And when we finally get comfortable around each other, we'll lay on your couch or bed or just on the freaking floor, trust me, I wouldn't mind it at all. I'm not saying that we'll have sex right then and there because we'll have many more chances to do so if everything works out and knowing that I'll be able to touch you, kiss you, taste you, feel you, anything, makes it all worth the try.

And even if it seems like I have everything under control, you have to know that I'm dead scared about all of this. If something goes wrong and it doesn't work like we wanted to, then we'll try to fix it and if still doesn't work, I'll just leave. I'm sure things will go perfectly fine though.

I've only experienced this feelings towards a guy once and I know that you make me feel things I haven't felt before, not even when I was dating Luna. It amazed me how someone can have this effect on me, and you do, and I love it.

I just want to be able to look at you in those beautiful eyes of yours and well, maybe it's too soon to call it love but I really really really really like you, okay?

I want to lay on bed next to you, snuggle together and raise your shirt up and touch your stomach, your chest, feel your heart beat as we fall asleep.

I want to wake you up with a kiss every morning and kiss you goodnight.

I want to fix your hair when it's sticking out oddly.

I want to go for walks hand in hand and steal your kisses.

Run my hand up and down your back and make you shiver. Take you out and tell you how awesome you look, because you deserve all of that and so much more.

I want you to know that I consider you mine. Before this gets too boring to read and too cheesy and you start crying.. Jack, just in case.. remind me to bring lube and condoms, huh?'