Status: Active
The Beach
Nowhere.
JACK'S POV
The line was dead in a blink of an eye. The only sound coming from the other side of the line was the loud beep notifying that there was no signal between the two phones, Alex's probably shattered into pieces by then, causing the signal to disappear.
There was no shouting, no whining, no sound of the train crashing into anything; there was no Alex anymore.
"Mum!" I screamed for my mum's attention while I rushed downstairs and into the kitchen where she was cooking lunch.
She instantly turned on her heels, looking at me and instantly asking what happened while she put the pan she was holding away.
"A- Alex" I cried. "He was coming to visit a- and the train crashed. Mu- Mum, I need to go there a- and check on him" I sobbed as my mum opened her arms and embraced me in a tight hug.
"What do you want me to do, Jack? We don't even know where he is right now, we can't just drive and hope to find him somewhere near the pavement. I'm sure ambulances took him and his friends to the nearest hospital already. Don't worry about him okay? He'll be fine" She assured me.
"I'm going to ca- call his parents. Could I go to see him if I- I found out where the hospital is?" I asked crying.
"But what if Alex didn't- I- yes, Jack" I nodded my head, not being able to say a word without letting out a sob along with it.
We stayed like that; me sobbing into my mum's shoulder and her running her fingers through my hair to try to calm me, until my dad got home from work. We pulled away as he turned the lock and I ran upstairs to my room.
I heard whispers coming from the kitchen where my mum and I stood before; she was most likely telling my dad what had happened to Alex, excluding the part of both of us liking each other, knowing that my dad wouldn't approve that.
Zack and Rian had called and texted me asking what was going on but I always told them off, I was grateful for them but I wasn't in the mood and I couldn't be bothered to have them worrying about me all day.
I told them that I was okay, that I was going to be okay and not to worry about me.
Gato made a move and accidentally hit me with his head; I took that as a signal to stand up from the floor where I had been lying for the past hour, sobbing and blaming myself for Alex's recent accident. He wouldn't have stepped inside that train if we hadn't met online. It was me who he was going to visit, it was me who attracted him and pushed him to come here so we could meet each other in person. He and his friends would have gone somewhere else if they hadn't known about Alex and I's relationship.
I reached for my laptop, turned it on and took a look at Alex's Skype information where he had written down his home phone number. I typed the digits on my phone and held it against my ear. Alex's mum picked up after three impatient beeps on the other side of the line.
"Hello?" She said. Her voice was soft and she seemed quite young guessing just by her voice.
"Hello, this is Jack? Jack Barakat? I don't know if Alex has told you about me" I said, suddenly feeling insecure about everything.
Like Alex had told me before; he completely trusted his mum with everything he had, and always told her everything that was going on in his life. It is true that I lived thousands of miles away, but I was part of his life now, somehow.
"Yes, he has. Alex isn't at home right no-"
"I know. Have you contacted him yet?" I didn't want to sound selfish or anything along those lines, but I was terrified and preoccupied just as his mother was if not more, I just wanted to make sure he was okay.
"Yes, we have. I imagine you have been told about Alex's accident. Alex's dad Peter and I are now going to visit him" She explained.
"Is he okay? Awake or asleep? Brain damage? Broken bones?"
"Well, it's only been half an hour Jack, but Peter called to the hospital a few minutes ago asking for him and they have told him that he is in another hospital, quite far away from here. The nurses said there have been loads of injured people, and so they have only cleaned and bandaged him, they haven't checked on him yet seeing as how many people were entering and exiting the hospital. But- well, the nurse who was keeping an eye on him said he was in pain"
One of the things that amazed me was that Mrs. Gaskarth wasn't crying or didn't try to swallow any lump that got stuck in her throat, nothing at all, but I wasn't the one to judge her; I knew very well that she loved his son, no doubt about that.
"I see. So what hospital is he at, again?"
"I don't know exactly, the hospital they have taken him to is in Leeds. Peter and I are going to visit him right now, it's going to be a long trip" She sighed into the phone.
I heard a voice yelling for her to hurry up, I figured it was Alex's dad and said the only thing that crossed my mind at the time.
"I'm sorry for Alex's accident. It's my fault, this wouldn't have happened if I didn't-"
"Jack, don't blame yourself for it, okay? Alex and his friends will be okay in no time. I have to go now sweetie, I'll take my phone with me and let you know what is going on if that is what you want"
"Yes please, and thanks. I wish I could be there" I confessed. I was a sobbing mess by then, and I was pretty ashamed of the fact that he was okay yet it felt so horrible not to be able to talk to him or see him in the state he was in at the moment.
"I'm sure Alex wants you here too, honey. I'll message you if I get any updates on him, bye now"
We said our farewells and hung up, leaving me restless and miserable for the next days.
The idea of going to Leeds crossed my mind every now and then but I was 150% sure that my parents wouldn't let me do that, I didn't even have to ask, I just knew it. I don't know if it was a coincidence or not, but Leeds was just in the middle of both of our cities, kind of linking both of us and separating Alex and I from being together at the same time.
I decided that Alex's mum was a nice person for doing what she was doing; sending me texts every time she knew something about Alex or his friends, letting me know that he was stable but still hadn't opened his eyes just yet.
Danny and Cass seemed to be the ones that had suffered the most; I didn't exactly know why, but Mrs. Gaskarth told me so, so it must have been true. I half expected her not to tell me information about Alex's friends since I didn't know them at all, but that proved my point; she was really kind and she was probably more concerned about Alex than the others, but I could see that she still cared about his son's friends because they meant a lot to him.
I didn't want to be rude and ask her to tell me only about Alex's state, he was the one I cared about but I knew Alex would care about Rian and Zack if something like that ever happened to us.
-
Two days passed; I would wake up with dark circles under my eyes every day. Not that I wasn't sleeping enough, I probably slept more hours than I should have, but I really didn't have anything better to do since Alex was now gone and staying up would have led me to overthinking what was going on, making me have mental breakdowns every now and then. I was restless because I cared about this boy way too much and I was always breaking my head thinking about him day and night, leaving me nervous and anxious.
My parents knew what was going on, and they seemed to understand what I was going through; they didn't call me for lunch or dinner knowing that I wouldn't eat anyway. My mum stopped knocking on my door three times exactly at 10:30AM to wake me up when she noticed that I slept until 3PM every day, and my parents stopped shouting, they lowered their voice whenever I went downstairs or they knew I was somewhere near them.
I would cry myself to sleep every night. Not because Alex's accident was my fault, I accepted that it was fate or karma that made him go through whatever he was going through because he had done something wrong in his past life, or something along those lines. I was mostly trying to convince myself that the train he was on at that time derailed because of its velocity, but I couldn't stop thinking that he could have avoided getting hurt if we hadn't met on the internet.
Mrs. Gaskarth promised that she would call me every day, but that didn't happen.
I never got a text from her, not once. I was trying to keep my mind away from thinking something really bad happened to Alex. She wouldn't have had bothered to call me if he had died or was in a really bad state but I couldn't help but think things were getting worse and worse every day.
A week had passed, I was growing frustrated as every day ended with me lying in bed, sobbing uncontrollably as I stroked Gato's fur; no phone call, no messages. I was losing hope and started thinking that trusting Alex's mum was an awful idea.
Just as the day was ending and I was getting into bed waiting hopelessly for yet another sleepless night, my phone buzzed on my nightstand giving me a slightly bit of hope.
I picked it up, a private ID was calling. I furrowed my eyebrows and slid my thumb across the screen in order to accept the call.
"Who is this?"
"Hello Jack, I'm Isobel, Alex's mum? I'm so sorry for my absence this past week. My phone died and I forgot to take the charger with me so I couldn't contact you any sooner than this. I'm using Alex's room's land phone right now. Peter and I will stay at a hotel until they release Alex from the hospital, it would take us about four hours to get back home and we're willing to stay here and spend as much time as we can with Alex"
Alex is alive, was the first thought that came to my mind. I sighed in relief. Part of my mind wanted to punch Mr. Gaskarth for not taking the charger of the phone with her, but the other part of if told me to be thankful and polite to her.
"It- it's okay.. Is Alex any better?" I asked.
"I'm not going to lie to you Jack. Alex isn't doing any better, that doesn't mean he's worse than before though. He has a few broken ribs and his leg ligaments are basically broken too. He hit his head real hard agaist the window, it only bled for a while before it stopped, no brain damage. He has stitched on his forehead, cheek and bottom lip, also on his arms and legs. I- I don't know. Jack, don't you worry okay? He is going to be okay, just.. he will take a while to recover. Once he's released we will take him home and you could come to see him if you wanted to"
I tried to imagine Alex's face covered in scars and stiches but failed at it. My mind didn't want to visualize that, so I only saw Alex's adorable face in the air, apparently floatig with kittens.
"I hate to know that. Thank you Mrs. Gaskarth. Could you make me a favour and tell Alex that I said hi when he wakes up?"
"Could you make me a favour and answer a question?" She asked.
I hesitated, thinking that it could be something personal, and damn right it was.
"Yeah, of course" I said, faking my tone, making it sound like it wasn't a big deal.
"I know that Alex and you have been together for a few months now and it might be too soon, but I just need to know if you love him"
Well that was unexpected.
What do I say now? Do I love him? Why do I love him? Why did she ask me that all of the sudden? Did he tell her anything like that and I didn't know it?
My heart was beating really fast. Faster than usual, and I found myself wondering if I loved Alex or if it was just lust that I felt towards him.
"Well.. I've only known him for- like three months and.. uh- I like him a lot and I definitely dream about getting an apartment with him as soon as we're done with school and part of me wants me to spend the rest of my life next to him, but the other side tells me that that's only a childish and stupid dream"
"I think you should try to reach your dreams, there's no going back once you decide to change your mind. I think you do Jack. I think you do love him"
"I'm sorry Mrs. Gaskarth but I don't think I'm ready to say it yet, and I should probably tell that to him first"
I heard someone whispering on the other side of the phone. I instantly guessed it was Mr. Gaskarth talking to Alex, but I was met with Alex's angelic-now-cracking-voice, I was speechless.
"Hello cuteface"
Alex's voice cracked as he talked. He told me it was difficult to talk, his mouth was pretty injured still. I remembered the stitches and scars, my heart dropped as I felt the pain he must have been feeling because of them. I went silent, I couldn't talk. I wasn't able to do it; he just had called me my all time favorite petname, and that was enough for me to break down and have tears streaming down my cheeks.
"Don- cry" He managed to say.
"Al- Alex. You're okay" I let out a sob, my mind was suddenly filled with hope and wishful thoughts about life, ones I hadn't had in two weeks and a half.
Life was slightly smiling down at me once again.
The line was dead in a blink of an eye. The only sound coming from the other side of the line was the loud beep notifying that there was no signal between the two phones, Alex's probably shattered into pieces by then, causing the signal to disappear.
There was no shouting, no whining, no sound of the train crashing into anything; there was no Alex anymore.
"Mum!" I screamed for my mum's attention while I rushed downstairs and into the kitchen where she was cooking lunch.
She instantly turned on her heels, looking at me and instantly asking what happened while she put the pan she was holding away.
"A- Alex" I cried. "He was coming to visit a- and the train crashed. Mu- Mum, I need to go there a- and check on him" I sobbed as my mum opened her arms and embraced me in a tight hug.
"What do you want me to do, Jack? We don't even know where he is right now, we can't just drive and hope to find him somewhere near the pavement. I'm sure ambulances took him and his friends to the nearest hospital already. Don't worry about him okay? He'll be fine" She assured me.
"I'm going to ca- call his parents. Could I go to see him if I- I found out where the hospital is?" I asked crying.
"But what if Alex didn't- I- yes, Jack" I nodded my head, not being able to say a word without letting out a sob along with it.
We stayed like that; me sobbing into my mum's shoulder and her running her fingers through my hair to try to calm me, until my dad got home from work. We pulled away as he turned the lock and I ran upstairs to my room.
I heard whispers coming from the kitchen where my mum and I stood before; she was most likely telling my dad what had happened to Alex, excluding the part of both of us liking each other, knowing that my dad wouldn't approve that.
Zack and Rian had called and texted me asking what was going on but I always told them off, I was grateful for them but I wasn't in the mood and I couldn't be bothered to have them worrying about me all day.
I told them that I was okay, that I was going to be okay and not to worry about me.
Gato made a move and accidentally hit me with his head; I took that as a signal to stand up from the floor where I had been lying for the past hour, sobbing and blaming myself for Alex's recent accident. He wouldn't have stepped inside that train if we hadn't met online. It was me who he was going to visit, it was me who attracted him and pushed him to come here so we could meet each other in person. He and his friends would have gone somewhere else if they hadn't known about Alex and I's relationship.
I reached for my laptop, turned it on and took a look at Alex's Skype information where he had written down his home phone number. I typed the digits on my phone and held it against my ear. Alex's mum picked up after three impatient beeps on the other side of the line.
"Hello?" She said. Her voice was soft and she seemed quite young guessing just by her voice.
"Hello, this is Jack? Jack Barakat? I don't know if Alex has told you about me" I said, suddenly feeling insecure about everything.
Like Alex had told me before; he completely trusted his mum with everything he had, and always told her everything that was going on in his life. It is true that I lived thousands of miles away, but I was part of his life now, somehow.
"Yes, he has. Alex isn't at home right no-"
"I know. Have you contacted him yet?" I didn't want to sound selfish or anything along those lines, but I was terrified and preoccupied just as his mother was if not more, I just wanted to make sure he was okay.
"Yes, we have. I imagine you have been told about Alex's accident. Alex's dad Peter and I are now going to visit him" She explained.
"Is he okay? Awake or asleep? Brain damage? Broken bones?"
"Well, it's only been half an hour Jack, but Peter called to the hospital a few minutes ago asking for him and they have told him that he is in another hospital, quite far away from here. The nurses said there have been loads of injured people, and so they have only cleaned and bandaged him, they haven't checked on him yet seeing as how many people were entering and exiting the hospital. But- well, the nurse who was keeping an eye on him said he was in pain"
One of the things that amazed me was that Mrs. Gaskarth wasn't crying or didn't try to swallow any lump that got stuck in her throat, nothing at all, but I wasn't the one to judge her; I knew very well that she loved his son, no doubt about that.
"I see. So what hospital is he at, again?"
"I don't know exactly, the hospital they have taken him to is in Leeds. Peter and I are going to visit him right now, it's going to be a long trip" She sighed into the phone.
I heard a voice yelling for her to hurry up, I figured it was Alex's dad and said the only thing that crossed my mind at the time.
"I'm sorry for Alex's accident. It's my fault, this wouldn't have happened if I didn't-"
"Jack, don't blame yourself for it, okay? Alex and his friends will be okay in no time. I have to go now sweetie, I'll take my phone with me and let you know what is going on if that is what you want"
"Yes please, and thanks. I wish I could be there" I confessed. I was a sobbing mess by then, and I was pretty ashamed of the fact that he was okay yet it felt so horrible not to be able to talk to him or see him in the state he was in at the moment.
"I'm sure Alex wants you here too, honey. I'll message you if I get any updates on him, bye now"
We said our farewells and hung up, leaving me restless and miserable for the next days.
The idea of going to Leeds crossed my mind every now and then but I was 150% sure that my parents wouldn't let me do that, I didn't even have to ask, I just knew it. I don't know if it was a coincidence or not, but Leeds was just in the middle of both of our cities, kind of linking both of us and separating Alex and I from being together at the same time.
I decided that Alex's mum was a nice person for doing what she was doing; sending me texts every time she knew something about Alex or his friends, letting me know that he was stable but still hadn't opened his eyes just yet.
Danny and Cass seemed to be the ones that had suffered the most; I didn't exactly know why, but Mrs. Gaskarth told me so, so it must have been true. I half expected her not to tell me information about Alex's friends since I didn't know them at all, but that proved my point; she was really kind and she was probably more concerned about Alex than the others, but I could see that she still cared about his son's friends because they meant a lot to him.
I didn't want to be rude and ask her to tell me only about Alex's state, he was the one I cared about but I knew Alex would care about Rian and Zack if something like that ever happened to us.
-
Two days passed; I would wake up with dark circles under my eyes every day. Not that I wasn't sleeping enough, I probably slept more hours than I should have, but I really didn't have anything better to do since Alex was now gone and staying up would have led me to overthinking what was going on, making me have mental breakdowns every now and then. I was restless because I cared about this boy way too much and I was always breaking my head thinking about him day and night, leaving me nervous and anxious.
My parents knew what was going on, and they seemed to understand what I was going through; they didn't call me for lunch or dinner knowing that I wouldn't eat anyway. My mum stopped knocking on my door three times exactly at 10:30AM to wake me up when she noticed that I slept until 3PM every day, and my parents stopped shouting, they lowered their voice whenever I went downstairs or they knew I was somewhere near them.
I would cry myself to sleep every night. Not because Alex's accident was my fault, I accepted that it was fate or karma that made him go through whatever he was going through because he had done something wrong in his past life, or something along those lines. I was mostly trying to convince myself that the train he was on at that time derailed because of its velocity, but I couldn't stop thinking that he could have avoided getting hurt if we hadn't met on the internet.
Mrs. Gaskarth promised that she would call me every day, but that didn't happen.
I never got a text from her, not once. I was trying to keep my mind away from thinking something really bad happened to Alex. She wouldn't have had bothered to call me if he had died or was in a really bad state but I couldn't help but think things were getting worse and worse every day.
A week had passed, I was growing frustrated as every day ended with me lying in bed, sobbing uncontrollably as I stroked Gato's fur; no phone call, no messages. I was losing hope and started thinking that trusting Alex's mum was an awful idea.
Just as the day was ending and I was getting into bed waiting hopelessly for yet another sleepless night, my phone buzzed on my nightstand giving me a slightly bit of hope.
I picked it up, a private ID was calling. I furrowed my eyebrows and slid my thumb across the screen in order to accept the call.
"Who is this?"
"Hello Jack, I'm Isobel, Alex's mum? I'm so sorry for my absence this past week. My phone died and I forgot to take the charger with me so I couldn't contact you any sooner than this. I'm using Alex's room's land phone right now. Peter and I will stay at a hotel until they release Alex from the hospital, it would take us about four hours to get back home and we're willing to stay here and spend as much time as we can with Alex"
Alex is alive, was the first thought that came to my mind. I sighed in relief. Part of my mind wanted to punch Mr. Gaskarth for not taking the charger of the phone with her, but the other part of if told me to be thankful and polite to her.
"It- it's okay.. Is Alex any better?" I asked.
"I'm not going to lie to you Jack. Alex isn't doing any better, that doesn't mean he's worse than before though. He has a few broken ribs and his leg ligaments are basically broken too. He hit his head real hard agaist the window, it only bled for a while before it stopped, no brain damage. He has stitched on his forehead, cheek and bottom lip, also on his arms and legs. I- I don't know. Jack, don't you worry okay? He is going to be okay, just.. he will take a while to recover. Once he's released we will take him home and you could come to see him if you wanted to"
I tried to imagine Alex's face covered in scars and stiches but failed at it. My mind didn't want to visualize that, so I only saw Alex's adorable face in the air, apparently floatig with kittens.
"I hate to know that. Thank you Mrs. Gaskarth. Could you make me a favour and tell Alex that I said hi when he wakes up?"
"Could you make me a favour and answer a question?" She asked.
I hesitated, thinking that it could be something personal, and damn right it was.
"Yeah, of course" I said, faking my tone, making it sound like it wasn't a big deal.
"I know that Alex and you have been together for a few months now and it might be too soon, but I just need to know if you love him"
Well that was unexpected.
What do I say now? Do I love him? Why do I love him? Why did she ask me that all of the sudden? Did he tell her anything like that and I didn't know it?
My heart was beating really fast. Faster than usual, and I found myself wondering if I loved Alex or if it was just lust that I felt towards him.
"Well.. I've only known him for- like three months and.. uh- I like him a lot and I definitely dream about getting an apartment with him as soon as we're done with school and part of me wants me to spend the rest of my life next to him, but the other side tells me that that's only a childish and stupid dream"
"I think you should try to reach your dreams, there's no going back once you decide to change your mind. I think you do Jack. I think you do love him"
"I'm sorry Mrs. Gaskarth but I don't think I'm ready to say it yet, and I should probably tell that to him first"
I heard someone whispering on the other side of the phone. I instantly guessed it was Mr. Gaskarth talking to Alex, but I was met with Alex's angelic-now-cracking-voice, I was speechless.
"Hello cuteface"
Alex's voice cracked as he talked. He told me it was difficult to talk, his mouth was pretty injured still. I remembered the stitches and scars, my heart dropped as I felt the pain he must have been feeling because of them. I went silent, I couldn't talk. I wasn't able to do it; he just had called me my all time favorite petname, and that was enough for me to break down and have tears streaming down my cheeks.
"Don- cry" He managed to say.
"Al- Alex. You're okay" I let out a sob, my mind was suddenly filled with hope and wishful thoughts about life, ones I hadn't had in two weeks and a half.
Life was slightly smiling down at me once again.