The Beach

JACK'S POV

I turned the TV on to see that SpongeBob Squarepants was on. I didn't really care so I flopped onto the couch and munched on the sandwich I had made myself for lunch alone.

Cartoons kept playing on and on until my mum arrived home with her own food in his plastic bags as she did every evening and sat down next to me making me groan with passion and take my feet off the couch so she could have some space to sit down.

She never bothered taking off her work clothes, she just put her bath rope over her shoulders and took a nap on the couch until dad came home.

"What's up, honey?" She asked flicking through the TV channels, eventually turning the living room into some gossip session we had between us two and the TV program.

She kept her eyes on the TV as I watched her eat her lunch.

I thought about telling her about Alex but I thought that it was stupid and irrelevant. My mom wouldn't let me talk to strangers online anyway so she'd end up taking my laptop off me or turning the internet down eventually so I had really no choice.

My mind chose different words to explain the situation I was in though.

"This guy I met would rather talk to his girlfriend than talk to me" I said shrugging my shoulders.

"Oh. But that's alright, don't you think? You know, I think his girlfriend needs more attention from him than you do, right?" She said biting on her steak.

And damn, everything fell to pieces right then.

Who the fuck was I to decide who meant more in Alex’s life? I was only some ugly stranger who had accidentally met on the internet, and his girlfriend was amazing –and she was his girlfriend.

I decided that I was being selfish, I wanted and needed attention –just like everyone else does. But Alex, a guy from a the other side of the country, that probably didn’t even care that I was put on the earth to live this numb and nonsense live.

Dammit, I felt really stupid thinking that someone actually cared or at least was interested in my life.

Yeah, we had pretty much the same taste on music and he was cute and everything, I was just the opposite but why did that even matter in my mind? He had a lovely girlfriend and he was happy, that should be the only thing that really mattered.

I was extremely jealous of her anyway. Who wouldn’t be, right?

-

I laid down on my bed and stretched my limbs as I hit my laptop's power button in order to turn it on. It took literally 15 minutes to start up -it wasn't that new and I'm sure viruses were destroying its insides but I couldn't be bothered to buy an anti-virus or a new laptop. If my laptop died, then it died. I had nothing important apart from my works from school in there anyway.

I closed my eyes, everything was black. The warm sun hit my skin through the window and I felt nothing but heat.

My head shook and my mouth muttered a 'no' as a new Skype conversation popped out on the corner of my screen.

I wasn't in the mood. I was never in the mood.

I tried to ignore the attractive sound that made my computer when someone messaged me on there -that someone being Alex made me want to stab myself in the eye.

I groaned and pulled myself up and into a sitting position in front of the shitty computer.

"Hey" He had messaged. "You there?" Just a minute later.

I laid down again placing the laptop on my lap this time.

"Hey" I said.

My mom knocked on my door and stepped in with a pile of what I guessed were clothes.

"Hey, what are you doing?" She asked sitting down next to me.

"Why aren't you napping? You always nap" I said with a concerned look.

My mom only napped until my dad came home because he always complained that she didn't do anything at home as in chores all day. I really don't get it because my mom works a lot. She spends almost the whole day at work; I believe she has the right to do whatever she wants when she gets home.

But no, my dad 'works more and harder' than her so he needs to catch everyone's attention by saying something offensive to her or to me. That was our life, and I was nothing but disgusted with the thought of it.

"Dad is home already" Oh. She read my face and shrugged.

I didn't even hear him get home, I thought.

"So, what are you doing?" She asked leaning over to the computer.

"Talking to Alex" I said and looked at my conversation with him in case he had replied and I didn't notice, but he didn't. Oh, what a surprise, right.

"That guy you told me about earlier?" I nodded and turned to face the computer instantly typing the words that led me to read my favorite and unfinished Blink fan-fiction.

"I'll be downstairs" She said and closed the door behind her.

I sighed as Alex tried to keep the conversation going; he was definitely not sharing my same intentions.

I made a huge effort to compose myself and talk back to him, not putting myself in a bad mood everyday was actually a really hard thing to do.

He had asked me how I was feeling that day and I replied with a simple 'shit' because that was the one and only truth. There was no need to lie.

He then asked me why, which I guessed was the usual thing to ask if someone answered your question with such response.

It took me a while to actually reply to him.

"It's not like you've done anything wrong and I know that we started talking only a few days ago so this shouldn't be a big deal for you or shouldn't bother you in any way. The problem is that I get attached to people way too easily and it causes me problems.

I guess it just hurts to know that I'm always other people's second or even third choice, or third wheel, whatever. This isn't your fault though because I know that you have your own life, girlfriend and stuff. I just think that it'd be better if we stopped talking for a while" I finally said.

"What are you talking about? I think we're fine" He replied quickly.

But I'm not I thought as I pressed totally different keys to form another sentence that had nothing to do with what my mind thought at the moment.

"It's not you, it might be just everything. I don't know, maybe bad mood? It happens a lot" It wasn't the total truth but I wasn't lying either.

"Oh" He said.

Fuck.

"Well, uh. I'm gonna go now then" I said slowly closing the conversation's window.

I don't exactly know why, but I wanted to know if he cared or was interested enough to stay and check on me. I was fairly convinced that he didn't.

I imagined the conversation stopping and me just leaving or blocking him.

That didn't happen though.

He quickly replied.

"What do I have to do to make you stay?"