Make It to Me

October had drawn to a close and Adaline still hadn’t become accustomed to the rains and 40-degree weather that November brought. For Halloween, Sidney had been in New York working with the NHLPA, where he currently was now. Adaline and James stayed indoors and handed candy out, him trying to adjust to the absence of Sara for the first holiday. Now, as November way underway, Adaline was beginning to feel the loss of Sara even more; she often thought about their traditions and her heart ached when she thought about what James might be going through.

From talking to Sidney, she had learned that there was no foreseeable end of the lockout and it was clearly beginning to take its toll on the players not in Europe. Sidney was restless. He was going to the gym, spending time with Adaline, trying to talk to the league to figure out what needed to happen to end the lockout, and most trying to damper his frustrations everyday. Adaline knew that it must be hard for him, but for the most part he tried to keep his frustrations under wrap.

Today, Adaline and James were heading out to the Warhol museum of art. It was the first thing they were doing since Sara had died that made them really think of her. Sara had really fallen in love with Warhol in college and James had often take her to visit the museum. For some reason, James had wanted to throw himself in to the fire so to speak by going where she was so strongly felt. Adaline could understand that he needed to start healing, but she was nervous about how James was going to deal with all of it.

Adaline was dressed in a black shift dress, an oversized caramel brown cardigan, the same brown colored boots, and tights because of her Califrornian thermostat. James was in jeans and a hoodie.

“Ready to go?” James asked her as he grabbed his keys off the kitchen counter.

“Yep. I’m excited to go. I’ve never been before.” Adaline smiled at him as they walked out toward the car.

A short drive into the city led James to park in the large structure next to the museum and wait for Adaline to get out of the car. Adaline met James in front of the sleek sports car and slipped her hand in the crook of his elbow. James’s steps seemed to slow as they approached the modern building.

“We don’t have to do this.” Adaline gave James the out he needed.

“I know…But, I have to.” James told her as he picked his pace back up again. Adaline tugged her cardigan tighter as the brisk wind nipped at her heels. James bought them tickets and the two walked into the quiet museum.

James went white as he looked around. The last time he had been in there was his anniversary, back when him and Sara were carefree…happy. She had walked him through some of the new exhibits and tried to explain what was going on in some of the pieces.

Adaline and James silently walked the halls until they came to the part of the museum dedicated to Sara’s favorite of Warhol’s pieces. James was the first to step into the room. His heart froze and tears welled in his eyes as he looked around.

“I..I can feel her everywhere.” James exhaled as he turned toward Adaline. She began to tear up seeing James’s pain.

“I know Jamie. I can too.” Adaline whispered. They were the only two in the room. But, it didn’t feel that way. They could feel Sara’s presence everywhere… It was like she was standing right next to them.

“She loved this place.” James said as he looked around the room, his eyes welling with more and more tears.

Adaline walked up to him and placed a comforting hand on his back; but otherwise she left him alone. She could practically hear the gears turning in his head and the ripping and repining of his heart. She knew that James had to start working through his pain on his own, not turning to Adaline and having her take it all away. She could act as a safe spot to land, a crutch of sorts, but she couldn’t do the healing for him. Granted, it had only been a month since Sara had passed, and he was still, rightfully so, grieving; but, she had to start letting him figure it all out because she’d be heading back to her own home and life at some point.

~
Sidney threw his head back against the hotel room wall, part in frustration and the other in boredom. His presence had been summoned in New York as a representative for the league and partly for the photo ops that he was becoming a part of. It looked good, according to the PR department, that he was there for the players, trying to sort everything out for the lockout…to no avail might he add. No matter how much he cooperated, the two camps weren’t likely to come to an agreement anytime soon; he was just hoping the entire season wouldn’t be lost.

He had answered so many questions, explaining absolutely nothing, and he had smiled for so many cameras he was about to lose his mind. The only thing keeping him going had been the thought of seeing Adaline when he would get back home. They had spent more time together through the rest of October, but nothing as serious as going out. So, Sidney had been busy planning on asking her out to dinner as soon as he got back to Pittsburgh. It had been unspoken of what they were calling themselves, and he sort of enjoyed not labeling it. It made everything so much simpler. He knew he really liked Adaline, and he was developing feelings for her, but the label of girlfriend had the potential to ruin everything. It meant photographs and his dad’s lack of approval, and of he slumped it lead to the question if he was distracted. He wasn’t normal and he couldn’t give her normal. He was in a happy stage with her; they were in a bubble where nobody knew what was going on between them. They were safe from the criticism of the media and the fans…and he wasn’t ready to give that up.

He had a meeting in about a half hour, so he drug himself from his room and walked downstairs to hail a cab in busy New York City. For the most part, he went unnoticed, but once one person recognized them, it was only a moment away before his name got out through the mills and everyone started talking to him or asking for photos. He loved fans and he loved interactions, but sometimes when he was trying to get somewhere it didn’t work out to well when he got recognized.

Once he arrived at the main building for the NHL headquarters his skin began to crawl. There were some reporters gathered outside the building, like he was a pop star arriving at an award show.

“Sid! Any news?” One of them called. He stopped briefly.

“I can’t comment too much because it’s a confidential matter, but the league and NHLPA will continue to have my support as we work through negotiations. I’m happy to be here to talk to help move the process along.” Sidney commented in his usual state of political correctness. He smiled at the reporter and walked into the building and was directed into a conference room by a receptionist he had come to recognize over the last few days.

~
Adaline was swishing soapy water around in a casserole dish that she had just cooked in for dinner. It was well past dark and the backyard porch was lit up by a soft glow. Adaline stared outside from the large window over the sink. The kitchen was also in that soft glow and completely quiet. She was soothing herself from the emotional stress of the day. James and her had gone through something they were both probably not ready for. Now, Adaline was enjoying the quiet.

She missed Sara more and more everyday. It was like a piece of her had been taken away and she couldn’t get it back. She missed being able to call Sara and talk about what was troubling her…what her problems were. She missed being able to call Sara and simply laugh on the phone and enjoy the conversations they had. She missed having to squeeze James and Sara into her small apartment when they came to visit her in the summer. She missed Sara more than she knew how to express.

She wanted to tell Sara about Sidney and that she wasn’t sure what was going on. She wanted to tell Sara that the feelings she was beginning to have for Sidney made her want to put herself out there again. She wanted to just tell Sara…and she couldn’t.

“You okay?” She heard from behind her. Adaline jumped and the dish clattered to the bottom of the sink.

“Holy shit Jamie. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” Adaline huffed as she began rinsing out the dish and set it on the drying rack.

“Sorry. I just noticed you trying to rub a hole through the middle of that dish. Can I finish?” James asked her, noticing the rest of the unfinished dishes on the counter.

Adaline smiled at him gratefully and slipped off the green gloves and handed them over to James. He smiled as he pulled them on and began to wash through the dinner dishes.

“Do you want a glass of wine?” Adaline asked as she went to the cupboard and pulled a bottle out and two glasses at James’s nod. She poured him a glass and set it next to him, she brought hers over to the bar part of the counter and sat down and quietly sipped on her glass.

Adaline sat there and just watched James. She watched him lose himself in the dishes the way she had. She watched the tension seep from his shoulders and his mind go blank. She watched his face loosen from its pained state. She just watched him be. He wasn’t the man struggling to cope with losing the woman he loved. He wasn’t the man who was falling apart and didn’t know how to pull himself together. He was just James who was doing dishes after dinner. He was just James…

But, even if he could escape she wouldn’t be able to. As she was sitting there, she was thinking about how domestic everything was. She could see Sara and James having a night just like this…drinking wine after dinner and simply enjoying each other’s company.

Adaline downed the rest of the wine in her glass and poured herself another.

“Planning on getting tipsy there?” James teased lightly, not looking up from the dishes in the sink.

“I don’t know…maybe.” Adaline’s voice was muffled from the rim of the wine glass. Adaline was never a big drinker, but tonight the red wine was filling vacancies and healing wounds. James set the soapy plate down in the sink and turned of the spray of the faucet. He tossed the gloves into the other side of the sink and picked up his wine glass. After a large gulp he turned to Adaline who was avoiding his eyes and taking down her second glass of wine.

“You know, I don’t know if I would have been able to make it through some of these days without you. But…I never stopped to ask if you were doing okay. I never really stopped to ask you how you were doing…I never stopped taking from you and gave a little back.” James said in a moment of maturity. Adaline’s gaze flicked up to him.

“Jamie you need to take right now. I’m doing okay.”

“But, you lost her too. It wasn’t just me.” James said as he downed his wine and walk around to where Adaline was sitting. He took the wine glass from her hand and set it down next to his. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it. Adaline’s eyes began to fill with unshed tears.

“You can be sad too Adaline.” James said, his throat thickening.

In that moment, Adaline sobbed and James pulled her into him so her head was resting againt his chest. Her cries only intensified as James squeezed tighter. She fisted her hand and hit it lightly against James’s chest.

“It’s not fair.” Adaline cried. James’s eyes clouded over and silent tears slipped down his face as he held Adaline.

“I know Adaline. It’s not fair.” James muffled into the top of her head.

“I…I don’t get it.” Adaline cried again. James simply held Adaline and gave her the break she clearly needed.

~
James’s brother came down to visit him the next day, giving Adaline a break from the sole job of being there from James. Michael and James were typical brothers, always squabbling, but it seemed that the squabbling was helping James more now than ever. Michael wasn’t treating him as though he was the man who had just lost his wife… which made James feel like it was as if his brother wasn’t here to play pity party for the evening.

Sidney had called Adaline late last night and asked to take her out to dinner. Adaline had gratefully accepted and was now slipping into her outfit waiting planning on driving over to Sidney’s house. It had been a long week since she had seen him last, the two of them still in that “awkward getting to know you phase” and holding hands on the couch as they watched a movie at his house.

Adaline was wearing a black dress with a slight scoop neck and long sleeves. The end of the sleeves and the bottom of the slightly above the knee dress had delicate lace detailed trim. She wore black pantyhose and plain black heels. A double-breasted coat wrapped her up for the Pittsburgh air. She buttoned up to coat and pushed a delicate curl over her shoulder. Her lips were painted a deep red, contrasting the delicate pearl studs adorning her ears.

She trotted downstairs and leaned her head over the downstairs banister.

“I’m headed out!” Adaline shouted from her place above the stairway leading to game room/man cave.

“M’kay!” She heard shouted back up her followed by some noises coming off a video game that the brothers were playing.

Adaline left the house and hopped in the spare car that James had and made the short drive over to Sidney’s house. She pulled in the driveway and hopped out of her car, pulling the jacket tighter around her as she walked up the front walk.

The large door opened and a well dressed Sidney stepped outside, waiting for her to approach. A mega-watt smile burst across her face when she caught sight of him; her stomach filling with butterflies. Her large smile reflected across his face as she bounced up the small porch steps and quickly shuffled closer to him.

“Hi.” He said as he got hold of her and pulled her into a warm hug, burying his face in her neck. She let out a massive sigh.

“Hi.” Adaline said warmly as she squeezed his middle soundly. He took a step back and pulled her into the house without letting go of her.

Adaline happily went with him.

“I missed you.” Sidney said as he pulled back and dropped a kiss on her cheek. Adaline’s face instantly warmed at the show of affection.

“I missed you too.” She smiled up at him, his figure looming over her still. “How was your trip?” Adaline asked as he shrugged on his coat and stepped into his shoes.

“It was okay…lonely.” Sidney joked as he grabbed her hand and walked out to his car.

“I can imagine.” Adaline commented cheekily. Sidney’s eyes flared slightly at the comment and he pulled her closer to him if possible, before opening the passenger seat and closing the door once she was tucked safely inside.

Sidney jogged around to the driver’s side and picked up her hand again as he pulled out of the driveway and into the city, not once dropping the hand he held.

The restaurant he picked was a small stake house with an upper class clientele. Her confidence wavered slightly as she thought about the prices of their dinners and the hole it would make in her bank account.

He parked the car in the small lot and raced around to open the door for her. She smiled gratefully and he grabbed her hand and helped her out of the car. Adaline had expected him to drop her hand, like he had most times when they were out in a public place, only he held on and didn’t let go.

Adaline’s cheeks warmed at the thought that he didn’t seem to mind that people would see them together. He didn’t seem to notice the double take the hostess gave him and the way her eyes looked down at their entwined hands. They were quickly seated and received service instantly.

“You know what we haven’t talked about?” Sidney asked her once they were all alone.

“What?” Adaline asked as she smiled flirtatiously

“Pet peeves.” Sidney mischievously said.

“Oh no! Don’t get me started!” Adaline over exaggerated.

“Got a few of em’, eh?” Sidney honked.

“Just a few. I think my biggest pet peeve is bad drivers. There is nothing that gets me riled up more than that.” Adaline chuckled.

“Well, I’ll try to watch my driving then.” Sidney said.

“Well go on. What’s yours?” Adaline countered.

“Um…people who steal the covers.” Sidney landed on. Adaline let out a bit of a laugh. “I will never forget when Taylor and I would be watching movies when we were younger and she’d steal all the covers if we fell asleep. I was always freezing.” Sidney laughed as he recalled the memory. The image of young Sidney trying to take back the covers was enough to make her giggle to which he smiled at the beautiful woman sitting in front of him, laughing at his stories.

“Those people are the worst. Sara was like that. Bless James’s heart for sharing a bed with her all of those years. I always woke up cold when we shared a bed.” Adaline laughed and smiled fondly at the memory of her best friend.

“I’d go nuts.” Sidney said with the same light-hearted tone he had while he was telling the story.

“What are you doing for American Thanksgiving? If you Canadians even celebrate it?” Adaline asked curiously.

“I hadn’t really given it much thought. I’m not sure. Do you have any plans?” Sidney asked on his fishing expidetion.

“Um…James and I haven’t really talked about it, but I don’t think that he’s going to really want to see many people. I was thinking of proposing we just do something small.” Adaline said.

“Yea…I understand.” Sidney said upset that he didn’t even have the opportunity to ask if she had any interest in spending it together.

“It’s just the first major holiday and I doubt he’s going to be okay through it. I just don’t want to go somewhere or have a bunch of people over to have it not go so well.” Adaline explained further. Instantly, Sidney felt like the biggest ass in the world. Here he was showing he was upset they wouldn’t be spending time together and Adaline had to remind him that not only did his teammate lose his wife, she lost her best friend. His eyes fell to the tablecloth in embarrassment.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think.” Sidney apologized.

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t expect you to keep walking on egg shells around me…it’s just I can’t leave James alone like that.” Adaline reasoned. Sidney completely understood. Yet, he felt jealousy raise its ugly head, and he really wanted to pretend it hadn’t. They were grieving a serious loss together and here he was getting overprotective. But, he’d never had to share anyone he was interested in with a teammate before, and while he didn’t have a claim to Adaline, James did and that made him uncomfortable as hell.

“No. I completely understand. I think some of the guys who stayed in Pittsburgh might do something or I’ll probably go home and visit my family.” Sidney confirmed. Adaline smiled at him. She really was grateful he didn’t push the issue, because although she cared for Sidney, she’d choose James in a heartbeat. While what she felt toward James wasn’t in the same context as it was for Sidney, Adaline cared for him deeply; she loved him as if he were a brother. She wouldn’t imagine someone who loved her and she loved in return, especially when they were hurting.

~
Adaline and Sideny ate their dinner and he had paid the check before she realized what was happening. He had her hand in a tight hold as they walked back toward his car.

“Mister Cwosby, can I has your picture?” A little voice called from behind them. Instantly, Sidney turned around to the young girl wearing a Penguins beanie. He got this far off look in his eyes…almost one of longing as he bent down into a squat to be down on her level.

“Of course. What’s your name?” He asked the young girl who was swaying back and forth as she looked at Sidney.

“Maddy.” She said blushing.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you Maddy. Of course I’ll take a picture with you.” He smiled and looked to her parents where her dad held out his iPhone to snap the picture. Adaline took a step to the side to get out of the picture and smiled at the scene. Maddy was standing between Sidnye’s legs, which were splayed out in his squatting position. She smiled a big toothy grin. The parents took pictures happily before turning to Adaline.

“Would you mind?” The father asked, extending the phone out to her. She smiled brightly and waved off him asking if she minded. Little did she know, Sidney’s intense gaze was watching her every move as she set up to take the picture with the family. Maddy’s mom walked up to her and swung the little girl up into her arms as the family posed around Sid to take a picture. Adaline snapped a few before handing the phone back off. Sidney expressed how nice it was to meet Maddy and she gave him a quick hug before walking back to her parents.

Sidney pulled Adaline back into his side, his arm wrapping around her waist, holding her tight.

He didn’t say much until they got to the car. He turned his body to face hers and pulled her gently into him. His hand caressed the side of her face up near her eye and trailed down to cup her jaw. Slowly, he pulled her in and his lips descended and captured hers. He kissed her sweetly and gently, not letting the kiss gain heat or linger too long; still aware they were in public. He pulled back and looked deeply into her eyes when they fluttered open.

“You were incredible.” Sidney complimented as he pecked her lips once more quickly. “You interacted with them so seamlessly.” He complimented amazed, sending a dazzling look down at her.

“You were incredible too. How you interacted with her…it was so special.” Adaline exhaled. She looked up at him in admiration and astonishment. It gave her al sorts of stomach pains to see him interacting with the little girl that way. Sure, she had seen pictures of him with fans, but she had never actually seen him up close and personal when he was with a fan, especially a child. His face lit up and in that moment it was all about making them happy.

Sidney kissed her softly once more before proposing they get in the car and “get the hell out of there”. The ride back to his house was quiet but exceedingly comfortable. He had his hand resting on her thigh and her hand was lazily resting on top of it. It was still early in the evening, only about 8:30.

They got back to his house and he invited her inside. He walked her over to the living room and sat on the sofa, pulling her down to sit next to him. She went willingly, instantly curling into his side. She was tucked under the crook of his arm, his head resting atop her head; hers burrowed into his warm chest. They sat together for a while just enjoying the warmth and connection the other was giving them.

“It’s never been this easy before…”Sidney trailed off.

“Believe me. I know. It just seems to…click.” Adaline confirmed his feelings.

“I hope you know I’m genuine when I’m saying this because I don’t make a habit of saying it at all. But, I’m really starting to develop some serious feelings for you.” Sidney revealed, feeling vulnerable.

“I don’t make a habit of it either, but I’m with you every step of the way.” Adaline said bravely. She simply burrowed herself into him tighter as he squeezed her, trying to get as close as possible to her. To feel the warmth and the giddiness that she was giving him.

No…Sidney didn’t make a habit of telling women that he had feelings for them, serious ones; but he had an inkling he was about to.