Make It to Me

Adaline paced over to the window and noticed the gentle snowfall the November month had brought them. Damn snow, Adaline thought. She was missing her 75-degree weather right about now. She and James had plans later that day to go pick up the things they needed for dinner later that week.

It had been a difficult conversation as she told her parents that she wouldn’t be coming home for Thanksgiving. Equally as hard was hearing James ask his family not to come and Joyce informing them she would be spending time with Sara’s extended family. With all of the pissing off of family members, it was just the two of them for Thanksgiving. Adaline figured that she would try to treat the day as normal but she wasn’t certain how James was going to react to it.

~
James exhaled heavily and wiped the towel across his drenched forehead and neck. He had just jumped off of the treadmill after a long run. The door to the gym at Console opened and James saw Sidney walk in, dressed in his gym clothes.

“Hey.” James called from his spot slightly across the room.

“Oh. Hey, man. How’s it going?” Sidney greeted as he starting stretching out for his work out. James truly wanted to walk out of the gym and go home without saying anything to Sidney, but he was beyond the point of just walking out. He had something he wanted to say and he figured the longer he stayed, the longer he’d fester in his thoughts.

“Sid?” James asked and noticed Sidney stop stretching and give James his full attention.

“Yea?” Sidney asked.

“I…I’ve just noticed you’ve been spending some time with Adaline recently.” The minute the words were out of his mouth, he saw Sidney tense before he pulled up to his feet, to really give James his full attention.

“Yea…” Sidney trailed off uncertainly. He seemed really hesitant…almost as if he didn’t know how much James knew, and he was afraid to say anything that might condemn himself. It’s not that he wanted to hide their spending time together; they just felt it would be best to lay low for a while. Plus, even Sidney didn’t know exactly what they were, so how could he comment on something he wasn’t even certain of?

“Just know…she’s really important to me and I’ll kill you if you do something stupid.” James said protectively.

“I understand.” Sidney said looking James dead in the eye. James nodded and took a step back, seeming to be pleased with what Sidney had to say. He waved and headed out the door. Sidney exhaled loudly, pleased that the conversation didn’t seem to go any deeper nor did James lay down any outrageous threats. He was in the clear…for now.

~
Adaline drove her car over to Sidney’s house. They had planned on spending a little time together before she dropped him off at the airport. Even though Sidney was as Canadian as they came, his family usually celebrated American Thanksgiving. He hadn’t planned on flying back, but his mother had called and asked if he would be making it home because of the lockout.

She drove the familiar route and pulled into “her” spot in the driveway…at least it’s where she parked every time she drove over there. Adaline hopped out of the car and trotted up to the front door, Sidney pulling it open before she reached the last step. He had a habit of doing that, opening the door before she had a chance to knock.

Adaline was wearing dark wash jeans and an old hoddie from college with her black converse. Sidney pulled her into a hug the moment he saw her, excited to get his hands on her.

“Hi. Come on in.” Sidney greeted once he let her go, backing up into the house. She noticed his large suitcase sitting next to him beside the door, reminding her of his departure. They sure couldn’t seem to stay in the same place too long with one another. It seemed they were always on the move, living off different schedules.

His house was warm and toasty compared to the chill outside. She stretched her limbs out, enjoying the comfort the heater provided.

“Thanks. It’s so warm in here.” Adaline appreciated.

“I’m packing my travel bag still. I’ll be right back. Make yourself at home. Sidney dropped a soft kiss on her cheek before leading her into the depths of the house. He lead her through the entry way and trotted up the stairs. Adaline hesitated for a moment, looking at the large living room down, before turning and following him up the stairs. He heard her footfall against the carpet and turned down to look at her from his place a few stairs above her. His smile nearly lit up half of Pittsburgh with how bright it was. He continued walking up the stairs, Adaline in tow.

His house was laid out with open like hallways that served more as pathways. Because the living room was two stories, Adaline could see out of the large floor to ceiling windows as she walked down the banister pathway to the master bedroom. She walked past the two arm chairs facing the fireplace in the mini-siting area just off to the side once she entered the room. Sidney disappeared into the bathroom, so she followed him there before she really thought it through. He has bent down rummaging through one of the beautiful, cream cabinets. He stood up holding his shaving kit and set it on the counter. Adaline was kicked back, leaning against the counter near the sink. Sidney walked over to her and stood directly in front of her. Quickly, he ran his hands over her hipbones before picking her up and plopping her on the counter.

She let out a fairly loud squeak at his motions, taken off-guard.

“No fair.” Adaline chastised. “It’s not like I can pick you up and place you on my counter.” Adaline said in a mock pout.

“But you’re the perfect height.” Sidney said cryptically.

“Perfect height?” Adaline asked, her eyebrows furrowed. Sidney ran his hand to cup the side of her head where her neck met her jaw and pulled her forward, kissing her gently. She let out a noise of contentment, happy with his decision. She kissed him back, loving the way her body melted into his. Her legs spread partially on the counter, allowing Sidney to step between them. He kissed her a little deeper, teasing her lips open for him, a new sensation of scalding heat.

He let out a large breath as his stomach seemed to catch on fire from kissing her. She wrapped her arm around his neck, pulling him even closer to her than he had been. At this point, you probably couldn’t stick a sheet of paper between them.

“Smooth move Crosby.” Adaline teased as she gently pulled back from him. His head dropped to the crook of her neck, resting until he regained control.

“I’m really going to miss you.” He mumbled into her warm, sensitive skin. Adaline wrapped her other hand around his back. His had had dropped to anchor around her lower back, the other resting on the counter beside her.

“I’m really going to miss you too.” Adaline admitted as she absentmindedly played with the curls at the base of his neck. Sidney placed a soft kiss to the crook of her neck and pulled back. He gave her one more quick, chaste kiss before returning to rummaging through his cabinets, shoving everything he needed into a smaller zip up bag. Adaline simply sat on his counter, watching him go through his routine. She noticed Sidney chuckling softly to himself after he looked her way.

“What?” Adaline asked a blush running up her neck. Sidney momentarily stopped what he was doing and looked at her.

“I was just thinking about how crazy it was.” He said cryptically.

“How crazy what is?”

“How natural it feels to have you sitting there on my sink as I get ready for a roadtrip. It’s almost…almost like we’ve been doing it our whole lives.” Sidney settled on, before packing his travel toothbrush.

“Oh…is that okay?” Adaline asked uncertain. She knew it was beginning to feel right to her, like there was no place she’d rather be than right there with him. It felt natural and comfortable, just as Sidney had described. She could see herself in that situation, watching him as he packed his bags, getting ready for the season.

“It’s really, really okay. In fact, I really, really like it. I like how comfortable I feel having you here. Normally, when I’m packing everything is quiet and it just reminds me how empty the place is. With you here…it’s like the house isn’t so empty anymore.” Sidney smiled, genuinely pleased at how he was liking the domestic feeling toward Adaline. Here she was, coming into his life, changing routines and norms and making them exponentially better. He was really enjoying how much she was beginning to have an impact on him. In fact, he wanted to see where else she would leave her imprint.

He finished placing all of his belonging is his travel bag and walked further into the bathroom toward the closet to pull his suit bag out. He smiled at her as he did so.

“Ready to head downstairs?” Sidney asked her. She nodded and hopped off the counter and followed him back downstairs. She checked her phone and noticed they only had about 45 minutes until she had to drive him to the airport. A small frown edged across her face.

Sidney dropped his belongings off at the front door and pulled his laptop from his study, placing it in it’s bag before walking back to see Adaline sitting on the large leather couch in the great room.

“When do you fly back again? Adaline asked him.

“I have a flight that will bring me back next Wednesday. So a week from today.” Sidney said, his voice also changing to a slightly less peppy one.

“You’ll be back soon.” Adaline tried to say.

“I wish I wasn’t going.” Sidney dramatically huffed as he flopped down on the couch next to her, seemingly boneless.

“Now that’s a lie. You don’t get to see your family enough as is.” Adaline rained on his mock protests.

“I know…I really miss them.” He admitted.

“What’s is like?”

“Hmm?” Sidney murmured.

“Being away from your family so much?” Adaline asked hi seriously.

“Harder than I imagined it would be. When I was younger I figured if I was playing in the NHL I’d be living such a dream that I wouldn’t really notice being alone. But…now that I’ve settled into my career I notice it so much more. I really miss them.” Sidney said somberly.

“I can’t even imagine what it must be like for you guys.”

“I guess that’s why I haven’t really been interested in a serious relationship. I see how hard it is for the wives and my teammates being apart so much. I see how hard it is for their relationship and especially on their kids. I guess I never really wanted to put someone through that.” Sidney said with shocking honesty, even for himself. Adaline fell quiet for a second and she considered what she said.

“I understand where you’re coming from…but, I think if you find someone you care about, you can’t make that decision for them.” Adaline said looking into his eyes. Sidney’s eyes widened a fraction before his locked on her intensely.

“And how would you react to being in that situation?” Sidney asked her, watching carefully to gauge her reaction.

“I suppose if I found the right person…it wouldn’t be a question. I think it would be hard at times…but, if you feel strongly toward someone a little effort is required. Besides, being apart would incite more misery than it would struggling together.” Adaline said steadily. Sidney was just about to get up on the couch and start jumping with glee when his phone’s alarm went off. Damn. He had to go fly out of the country, leaving the woman who essentially said that she would fight to be in a relationship with him behind.

Adaline smiled at him and stood up extending her hand to help pull him up. He took it and pulled her with half of his real weight which caused her to stumble forward. She giggled loudly to which he smiled even more.

“Come on big guy, we have an airport to get to.” She winked at him. He mumbled something about how he was Canadian and he would rather not celebrate an American holiday.

Sidney held her hand as he picked up his bags and walked out the front door.

She felt his hold grow tighter and tighter the closer they came to airport. She didn’t want to leave the conversation where they had left it, but she had no choice. He had a flight to catch. Adaline had a sinking feeling that this is what it would have be like when he was on the road. Always unfinished conversations and leaving things in bad spots.

She pulled into the small private airport he was chartering a plane out of. She saw various people milling about which caused her to place the car in park and look at him expectantly. He turned to face her and gave her a hint of a smile.

“This conversation isn’t over.” Sidney said wistfully as he pulled her in for a brief kiss before letting her go. Her eyes fluttered open and her pink cheeks tinged further.

“I should hope so.” Adaline smiled before he pulled himself from the car and collected his belongings from the back, bidding her farewell once more. He walked toward the entrance of the airport and couldn’t look back in temptation of turning around and getting back in the car.

~
The day before Thanksgiving was a quiet one in the Neal house. James stayed in his study most of the day, talking to family and calling his agent. When he wasn’t on the phone Adaline was praying that he wasn’t staring at his wedding pictures, letting himself drown in the pain. Adaline in the meantime went to the grocery store and picked up everything they needed to have a mini Thanksgiving for the two of them. They had a small turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and various veggies.

She was busy preparing the turkey for it to be cooked for tomorrow when James came out of the study and found her.

“Hey Addy?” James asked her, rubbing the back of his neck. Adaline knew that gesture, James did that whenever he had to ask something and he wasn’t sure how it was going to go over.

“Yea Jamie?” Adaline continued to dress the turkey.

“I was thinking that maybe after Thanksgiving…I’m thinking about heading back to Canada for a bit.” James admitted guiltily. He, indeed, did feel guilty. He had asked her to come to stay with him and now he was bailing to go back home.

“What’s wrong James?” Adaline wiped her hands on a dish towel and gave him her full attention.

“It’s just…Being here…around her. It’s really hard on me right now. It’s like I’m suffocating in here. I miss her so much but she’s around every corner…and I just can’t get away.” James admitted. Adaline immediately softened for him.

“I understand James. I really do. It’s hard for me to be here too sometimes.” Adaline sympathized.

“But…I mean I asked you to come stay and now…I’m running.” James mumbled.

“Jamie. You’re not running. You’re letting yourself breathe for a moment. I completely understand where you’re coming from. I can always fly home…or I can rent a hotel for a bit.” Adaline said running over her options in her mind.

“Shit…I didn’t even think about it. You can always stay here?” James tried to say. He had gotten as far where he was going to say and how he was going to apologize, but he didn’t think about the fact he was leaving Adaline behind.
“I…I mean if you’re comfortable with that?” Adaline asked nervously.

“Of course! You’re family Adaline, you’re always welcome here.” James enthused.

“Okay. I’ll think on it. Promise.” Adaline smiled. Logically, she knew that there was no way she’d find a flight out of Pittsburgh or a hotel open in Pittsburgh, but she could try.

~
The next morning was a normal Thanksgiving…only there was a deafening silence throughout the house. Adaline could feel Sara’s missing presence now more than ever. Thanksgiving was her holiday, and James and Adaline were certianlly feeling it. She was feeling the cold air through the house and the absence of happy chatter that normally filled these walls. She missed the tacky leaf decorations and the flurry of cooking foods and deserts that normally filled the kitchen.

Adaline stood in the middle of the large kitchen in yoga pants and an old college t-shirt and began getting the stuffing ready to stuff in the turkey. James was nowhere to be found all morning; he had gone out in the backyard to take a walk and hadn’t yet returned. She had just placed the turkey in the oven and began prepping the pumpkin pies to cook in the second oven.

She had just set the timer on the oven when her phone began buzzing.

Sidney.

“Hey!” She smiled into the receiver. Secretly, she had been hoping he’d call; but she didn’t want to outright admit she was carrying her phone around everywhere.

“Happy Thanksgiving.” Sidney rumbled into his end of the phone.

“You too. Having a nice day so far?” Adaline asked as she leaned her lower back against the counter, and stretched her legs out.

“It’s been really nice. My sister came down, so everyone’s back in the house right now.”

“Are you hiding out?” Adaline asked in a sassy tone.

“No…I had to go out and get some fire wood…I just maybe took the long way.” Sidney smiled.

“Firewood, huh? Original.” Adaline playfully rolled her eyes.

“Well, I wouldn’t want my family to freeze now would I? How are you doing out there?” Sidney played offended.

“It’s quiet. James is flying back to Canada tomorrow. I’m looking for a flight home until he comes back.” Adaline told him, a twinge of regret in her voice. She had really been looking forward to see him when he flew back in on Tuesday.

“You’re not going to stay at James’s?”

“No…I…I feel her too much when I’m alone. When James is in the house, I have someone to focus on…someone to keep me busy. When I’m alone in here, it’s like she’s everywhere and I can’t escape from it.”

“Why don’t you just stay at my place?” Sidney surprised both of them. It wasn’t like he was really processing what he had been saying…it just sort of came out. But, he didn’t regret suggesting it. It seemed natural, fitting.

“Oh, I couldn’t.” Adaline protested. In truth, she wasn’t sure how she felt about it, but she figured it would take a bit of time to figure it all out and it would unearth feelings she in no way was ready for.

“Why not? It’s the perfect solution! Plus, I’m not even home.” Sidney tried to persuade her.

“Um…I’ll think about it.” Adaline tried to brush it off.

“Just let me know and I’ll tell you where the spare key is hidden.” Sidney said seriously. They continued to talk a few minutes more about his family and what he had done since he had gone home.

“I think your family has developed hypothermia with how long you’ve been gone collecting firewood.” Adaline reminded him. He let out a honking laugh at her.

“You’re probably right. I’ll talk to you later?” Sidney asked her.

“Of course.”

“Think about my offer.” Sidney said right before he hung up the phone.

~
Sidney walked back into the house carrying the “stack” of firewood he collected from the woodpile. His sister, Taylor, raised his eyebrows at him when she saw him.

“Get lost?” Taylor asked him, playing innocent.

“No.” Sidney responded, keeping a level face, hoping she wouldn’t see past his lie.

“Oh! You’re off the phone!” Trina called as she walked into the living room of their home.

“Mom!” Taylor groaned, as it became obvious to Sidney that Taylor had been spying on him, relaying the information to his mother.

“What?” Trina asked not really seeing what she had done.

“It’s not nice to snoop Taylor.” Sid complained as he placed the wood in the fireplace. He settled into the sofa once the fire was nice and warm.

“Then don’t make it so easy.”

“Just because something’s easy doesn’t mean you have to do it.” Sidney rolled his eyes.

“Who was it anyway?” Taylor asked, waggling her eyebrows.

“None of your business.” Sidney retorted.

“A girl?!” Taylor practically shrieked.

“A teammate. Not that you need to know that.”

“I don’t smile at my teammates like that…” Taylor trailed off.

“Taylor!” Sidney exclaimed clearly becoming irritated.

“Kids! Knock it off.” Trina called from the kitchen where she was preparing dinner.

Taylor sat back in the couch and went back to reading her book, ignoring Sidney. Sidney turned on the TV and watched some old episodes of “Friend’s” to ignore how riled up he got.

The rest of the day passed rather uneventfully. Taylor hadn’t questioned him further about the mystery caller and neither had his parents. Either the conversation had been laid to rest of his father had decided to handle it. Sidney feared the latter. He was certain that his dad would be offering his unsolicited advice on the type of distraction his career wouldn’t be able to handle at the moment. Just thinking about what his dad might say had him riled up which meant he knew that his dad would be somewhat right about the distraction part…but he might be wrong on it being negative or harmful.

~
James returned from his walk a short while later and found Adaline folding some of her clothes in the living room. He sat down on the sofa next to her and watched some show on the History channel. Adaline hadn’t really said anything to him all day. She was playing it safe; seeing how he was doing before she stepped in and asked him about today.

James understood what she was doing, but he hated that she was acting guarded around him. Her of all people, knew that she didn’t have to walk around eggshells around him. She was in the boat with him, trying to throw water overboard to keep them afloat.

“Have you talked to your parents?” James asked her.

“Yes. They called briefly. I also talked to Joyce. She sends her love.” Adaline mentioned carefully. The words hit James like a ton of bricks. Joyce…He hadn’t even thought to ask if she wanted to come for dinner. She always joined the, for holdiday dinners. Where was she?

“Where is she?”

“She’s with some extended family. Everyone got together this year…considering…” Adaline trailed off.

“That Sara died.” James stated bluntly.

Adaline’s eyes widened as she looked at him in shock.

“What?” He snapped. He was irritated with the fact that she was trying to dance around the subject just for his sake today. He had enough people trying not to upset him, he didn’t need the only person who truly understood to join that list.

“No…Nothing.” Adaline stammered.

“I know she’s dead Adaline. I know she’s never coming back. Just because it happens to be Thanksgiving doesn’t mean that I forgot the reality I’m living in.” James stated more forcefully. Behind the anger and frustration there only remained loss and heartbreak. There wasn’t room for anything else. Occasionally, James would feel flashes of hope and flashes of happiness; but, they faded quickly and returned to darkness.

Adaline remained silent, not sure where his anger was coming from or how she should handle it.

“Just forget it.” James dismissed her and walked up the stairs out of view. The breath that she had been holding expelled from her in an instant.

“Oh, Jamie. What are we going to do?” Adaline asked aloud as she stared at the carpet at her feet.