Make It to Me

Sidney silently cursed when the doorbell rang, interrupting his apology. He hadn't meant to hurt Adaline, he was just unsure of who she was. As captain, he always looked out for his guys; they were family. So, when some mystery girl answers the door two days after James's wife died, he was more than a little suspicious. However, after talking to her for that short period of time he could tell she was a genuine person, someone who really cared for the Neal family.

He instantly felt regret when he saw the hurt register in Adaline's eyes, obviously picking up on his speculative vibes. Sidney hoped he hadn't ruined his first meeting with Adaline, as she was someone he felt a pulling connection toward. Her sparkling hazel eyes, carmel hair, and adorable dusting of freckles under her eyes and across the bridge of her nose were breathtaking. When she opened the door, his breath was literally kicked from his chest. Undoubtedly, she was one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen. The thing was she wasn't beautiful in today's standards, as she had no high fashion or modelesque look, she said as simply natural, classic beauty. She was a breath of fresh air compared to most of the women he met, on the road and around Pittsburgh. An undeniable burning sensation ripped through his lower stomach when he stepped up behind her, and another, more painful, when he hurt her. Stupid, stupid Sidney.

Then, the doorbell rang and stopped him from apologizing from for acting like an ass. Adaline's let out an exhale, mumbling an apology about getting the door and shuffled out of the kitchen. He watched her slight frame retreat down the hall toward the door. Was it nosy if he followed? Nah. He decided and followed her, hanging back in the foyer. Adaline's opened the door and Sidney saw Matt Niskanen on the other sid. Before he got the chance to introduce them, a massive, bright smile spread across Matt's face. Matt never smiled at him like that... If he had, Sidney might have questioned his teammate more.

"Addie!" Matt cried, immediately pulling her into a hug. His arms dropped low around her waist and his head falling into the the crook of his neck.

"Matty." Adaline's sighed, wrapping him I. Her arms. They had nicknames? Corney as hell for Matt; but Sidney bet he loved every second of it. His mood seemed to darken more when Matt's hand began to rub up and down her lower back. A protective, possessive feeling washed over him and ached low in the pit of his stomach.

"Let me get a good look at you." Matt said holding Adaline now at arms length. He looked her up and down and Sid's jaw tightened painfully. What was wrong with him? He never felt this way.

"It's been forever Matty." Adaline's commented as she held onto his arm. Sidney continued watch silently.

"You look great. Oh Addie, I'm so sorry." Matt said his eyes softening as he looked at her. That's how Sidney should have looked at her.

"Oh Matty, I don't know what to do." Adaline said and Sidney's jaw tightened yet again. He was going to break teeth if he kept going this way.

"I'm sorry Addie." Matt said sincerely before he looked poked past Adaline and spotted Sidney. A strange emotion passed through Matt's eyes as he looked at the good captain.

"Hey Sid." Matt said, walking over to him, and extending his hand for a handshake.

"Matt." Sidney said rather cooly.

"Wacha' doing hanging out with this loser?" Matt said with a joking smile across his face.

"That's high praise, coming from you anyway." Sidney taunted back, some of the tension fading.

"Boys, boys; you're both pretty." Adaline taunted both of us hem. Sidney looked over at Adaline, amusement dancing in her eyes. In that moment, he saw Adaline they way she should always be seen. Happy: Adaline was stunning when she was laughing. He smiled at her sharp wit as she taunted both of the . Most women couldn't have sparred with them, they would stay quiet, or become annoyed with their antics. Adaline dished it right back to them, not upset with their childlike jabs.

"Can I see James?" Matt asked.

"I think that would mean a lot to him." Adaline smiled and told him which room James and the other guys were in.

"Coming Sid?" Matt asked in limbo, hanging on the first stair.

"Yea, I'll be there in a second." He replied looking straight into Adaline's eyes, never breaking their hold as he answered Matt.

"Okay..." Matt said, his voice drawn out in confusion. He then turned and trotted up the stairs.

~
Adaline watched Sidney with caught breath, waiting for him to speak to her. Her stomach was turning in nervous knots, apprehensive of what might come. It was easier if he was leery and suspicious of her. She didn't have to worry about keeping herself guarded from being hurt by nice Sidney. Grouchy Sidney was deffinetly easier to protect herself from. Grouchy Sindey was painfully attractive, with his dark, stormy eyes and tense jaw. Nice Sidney threatened to melt her into a puddle with his warm, coffee colored eyes that invited her in from the cold, and soft caring features she could get lost in. He was dangerous in he made her feel like she wanted to take a chance.

Sidney didn't say a word as she walked up to her and grabbed her upper arm and used his grip to guide her into the great room. She hart noticed the elaborate furnishings as he guided her to the couch and pulled her down to sit next to him. She mutely followed his directions and let her eyes drift back to her lap, afraid of what she might see, might feel, if she looked up. She was nervous of what she might find in the depth of Sidney's gaze. He let his hand drop from her arm ontk the couch between them. They say in slightly awkward silence, not looking at one another.

"Adaline, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so insensitive. I hope we can move on form this." Sidney pleaded softly.

"I understand. You were looking out for you friend, I would be leery too. Honestly, it's okay," Adaline smiled, hesitantly peering up through her lashes at him. He was back to nice, sweet Sidney, he had a half hint of a smile on his face and his eyes were back to warm and kind.

"Okay. Sorry again. I'm going to visit James some more." Sidney said, pushing up from the couch, looking down at her. Once again he held her gaze, saying nothing, just looking at her intently. Then he burned on his heel and stalked from the room.

Adaline watched Sidney's retreating figure until he disappeared up the stairs and out of view. She let out a long exhale, as if she had been holding yet breath throughout the entire conversation. Two things struck her about Sidney; one: he was an exceedingly complex man and two: he did not seem to process or do anything lightly. She felt as if he was a believer in always having purpose behind everything he did. In a way Adaline admired the trait, but she was also afraid to be washed away.

Quietly, Adaline rose and walked back to the reading nook, back to peace. Adaline read and read trying to escape from reality. Trying to capture a life in which there wasn't a gaping hole in her chest, seemed impossible. A lif where no matter how badly she wanted to fall apart and wallow in grief, she couldn't because there were other people depending on her strength, her courage. She wouldn't allow herself to break because she cooks not afford to.

~
"He's cute." Sara commented aiming for nonchalance, but failing. She was looking over at a guy a few tables a way, she deemed was perfect for Adaline. Adaline rolled her eyes and refused to look over at the man in question.

"Not interested." Adaline said swirling the straw in her diet coke. She watched the glass with renewed interest, seemingly fascinated with the ice cubes.

"I've only seen you go out on a couple dates and they never went past that. Why?" Sara asked. "You're intelleget, young, attractive; why don't you live a little?"

"I'm not wasting my time dating someone that I know I have no future with and it's more headache than anything else." Adaline. Elaborated.

"I guess." Sara relented, almost desolate. She wanted Adaline to date, to gain experience. The truth of the matter was she didn't think Adlaine got out enough. She wanted Adaline to have more fun in life, but Adaline grew up believing that maturity wa best to value over all. So, Adlaine stayed indoors and busied herself with reading books and ignoring the male population throughout highschool and college.

~
The guys left about an hour after they arrived, and Sidney sent Adaline a lingering stare as he walked out of the house. Joyce came home almost immediately after that and went to sit off her room after depositing the groceries. The house had descended into the eerie quiet once again. It was almost deafening, suffocating her, she almost preferred the loud and bustling. It took her mind off things.

"Adaline?" Joyce called out.

"Yea?" Adaline questioned rounding the corner.

"Can you handle the flowers for the... the...um..."

"Sure. Whatever you need." Adaline said softly.

"It's just well... I have to pick up James's parents and you know... knew her best." Joyce said, tears leaking from her eyes.

"It's okay. I can handle it." Adaline said shakily.

~
An hour later Adaline found herself standing outside the florist. "Funerals" was written in window paint across the front windows of the store. Adaline had one of those moments where her life began to slow right in front of her, as if she was living in slow motion. Her world seemed to stop spinning, her anchor to the earth becoming uprooted. She was buying flowers for her best friend's funeral. It was like everything suddenly became infinatley real. Sara wasn't coming home, she was gone, gone for good.

A silent stream of tears began to slip from her eyes, trying to compartmentalize all of these feelings she was expirencing. She quickly dabbed her eyes and began to stride into the shop, willing herself to be strong. The door opened seemelsy, a cold wash of air setting over Adaline. The overwhming scent of flowers invaded her senses, irritating her allergies. Good, she could blame her puffy eyes on the flowers.

The shop was beautiful, every flower one could imagine decorating the vast space. The flowers were arranged by color and some by season, but Adaline was far from an expert when it came to flowers. She knew enough to get by, but she wasn't sure what flowers were best in which weather and for what occasion. She just found them to be pretty and bought them if they went well together. A woman was bending over into a pot, adjusting the flowers. She had long blonde hair, spilling past her back. She had a blue ribbon tied in her hair which matched the blue converse she had on. The woman was dressed in all black, a tshirt and jeans, probably a uniform. The sound of the bell ringing when Adaline entered alerted her that someone had come in. She stood up and turned to face the customer.

"Hi! I'm Mary. What can I help you with?" The girl smiled prettily. Adaline took notice that she was in Mary's Flower Shop, probably the owner.

"Hello. I'm Adaline. Im here for a 12:15." Adlaine replied to the girl with the stunning blue eyes.

"Oh. Please, follow me. We'll head to the back and get started." Mary's eyes seemed to soften, understanding why Adlaine had come to the Florist today. Adaline followed Mary down the hallway, letting her fingers drift over a couple flowers. Mary opened a door which had a table occupying the center with comfy chairs surrounding it, Mary motioned for Adaline to sit on one side of the table as she walked back over to the door.

"Kevin? Can you keep an eye on things?" Mary called out to the mystery worker, and a shouted "yeah" came back her and way. Mary then walked over to her black binders on a shelf on the wall, and pulled down three, walking back to the table and laying them out. She then walked over to a folder sitting on the desk in the far room, flipping though the papers.

"The appointment might be under Joyce." Adaline offered.

"Ah, found it." Mary said and brought the paperwork to sit down. Mary never said "I'm sorry for your loss." Adaline was greatful, she didn't want everyone's sympathy. It only made everything that much harder.

"I don't really know what to expect. How does this work?" Adaline asked, then was mad at herself. That was a stupid question.

"Don't worry. Let's get started. The funeral is in three days, so we can't do anything too elaborate. Lilies are a great flower, how do you feel about those? Or maybe white roses?" Mary asked, jotting some notes down on the paper.

"Um..." Adaline replied, slighty overwhelmed.

"I just suggest those flowers because they are a classy flower and they are a standard flower." Mary suggested, opening the black folders and pointing to different arrangements. They were all white and elaborate. Yes, they were pretty, but they weren't Sara. The flowers were all so lifeless. Sara wasn't lifeless, she exuded joy and life.

"I think she would want something more natural, more alive... If that makes any sense?" Adaline asked thumbing through the pages.

"I completely understand. Here, look at this book." Mary said pushing a book toward Adaline. She opened the book and instantly knew that this was Sara. The flowers were all natural, like the flowers you would see on a hike. There was decorations with sunflowers, baby's breath, poppies, and wildflowers. Yes, this was Sara. They were perfect for her. Adaline picked out the flowers that would stand around the casket and then the large arrangement that would be placed on the casket itself durning the service. She also selected bouquets to be dropped into the grave as a final goodbye to Sara. By the time she was done selecting flowers her emotions were shot and she was on the verge of having a breakdown in the middle of town.

Adaline calmy thanked the woman, paid, and tried not to bolt out the door. She left the florist and leaned against the brick facade, trying to capture her breath. Trying to compose herself before she had to venture into the mall to buy her funeral dress. It seemed she forgot her black dress at home, she didn't think she would need it. At that time, Sara wasn't dead, Sara was just missing.

~
The mall in downtown Pittsburgh was a confusing thing to find. Well, maybe the locals found it effortlessly, but Adaline was relying on the GPS with a British accent, and she was trying not to throttle the bloody Britt. She parked the door, mumbled an insult to the Britt, and slammed the car door for good measure. She kept her head down as she walked around, not wanting to have to smile or have sympathy looks shot her way.

She walked into the first store she could find and purchased a plain black, chiffon dress. It had a high neck and half length sleeves. A fu skirt and belt completed the simple, elegant dress. She also found a pair of plain, black heels and decided that would be enough to attend her best friend's funeral. Her phone began buzzing in her purse and sighed when she saw the caller.

"Hey mom." Adaline said into the phone.

"Adaline. How is Pittsburgh?" Her mother asked in that clam tone she always used.

"Fine. As best as can be expected." Adaline remarked, a hallowness in her voice.

"I'm sorry about that. She was a good girl, a little wild, but she was always nice." Her mother said as if she was discussing the weather.

"Why are you calling?" Adaline asked tersely.

"Watch your tounge Adaline, I'm still your mother. I'm calling to inform you your father and I will be there for Sara's funeral." Her mother said with a sharp tone.

"Okay. Thanks. I'll see you then." Adaline said to her mother, as she walked out of the mall toward James's car. Adaline's mother asked her a few more questions and bid her goodbye as she was in the hair salon and possibly couldn't talk any longer. Adaline hung up the phone and let out another deep breath. At the rate she was going, she could teach a meditation class in no time.

As Adaline drove home she understood why Sara was so happy here. She loved the city. It had the right amount of hustle and bustle, but there was still some hint of wildlife and tranquility. The city had this weird balance that worked so perfectly. The leaves in the trees had turned to the burnt colors of fall and contrasted the sprawling concrete and high rise buildings. Adaline loved everything about the city, about the contrast. Sara was in love with Pittsburgh and with James, she was just glad Sara was happy.

~
Adaline pulled James's car into the garage, and noticed a rental car parked on the curb. James's parents must have arrived. She was nervous. She had breifly met his parents at the wedding, but she was nervous to see them again. They were some of the most kind and nice people she had ever met, yet she couldn't shake the unease from her body. Would they be suspicious of her as Sidney was? She viewed James as a brother, but would everyone else believe that? Would they trust her? Or, would they immediate assume the worst?

She entered the house and walked down the hallway, though the kitchen, and into the great room. She couldn't hear anyone on the first floor, so she migrated over toward the stairs an heard a noise coming from the basement. She hesitantly took the other set of stairs, this case descending down into another part of the house. As she walked down the stairs it became apparent that she had entered James's man cave. There was a strong scent of cologne and the walls were painted a deep blue. The foyer of the basement led to a recreation room straight ahead and there were two closed doors to her left. She walked a little farther ahead and noticed a pool table to her right in a different room. The sound was intensifying as she kept walking forward, as she entered the recreation room. There was a large, leather sectional couch facing the biggest flat screen tv Adaline had probably ever seen. She walked further into that room and saw a closed door to her left. The noise had obviously been coming from there.

Adaline knocked on the door and heard James call out to come in. She opened the door and walked inside a home theater. There was dark, scarlet walls and black carpet with black leather recliners in front of a large projector screen. She saw James sitting in one of the large seats holding a remote. His eyes were still red and his face puffy. His brown hair was ruffled in a sloppy mess. A pair of blue and grey plaid, flannel pajama pants were paired with a plain grey tshirt completed his look.

"Hey Addys. Wanna join me?" He asked sofly.

"Sure. Wacha watching?" Adaline asked sitting in the chair next to him.

"My proposal to Sara. I had it recorded and I just..." James trailed off looking down at the remote.

"Of course I'll watch it with you." Adaline replied quietly. The truth was she was dying to see Sara, to hear her voice again.

"Okay." James replied and pressed play on the remote. The video popped up on the screen.

~
The camera was hidden in some bushes with a clear view to a table sitting in the middle of a stone patio. There were lights strung across the lattice patio cover, intertwining with the vines that were crawling over all the posts. The table had a white table cloth over it with two candles sitting in the middle, with beautiful dinnerware. There were rose petals scattered across the stone floor and on the table, adding to the romantic vibe. It was a scene from a magazine, perfectly decorated. James walked into the shot, dressed in a suit and perfectly styled hair. He checked the table and rearranged a fork in a nervous, jittery gesture. The clicking of heels could be heard from the camera and Sara moved into the picture. She had on a long, a-line, black dress. It was simple, yet so Sara. She had her hair curled and minimal make up on. Her bright smile light up the room as she looked adoringly at James. He gave her a nervous lopsided smile and pulled her chair back and helped her into it. James talked nervously but Sara gushed over how sweet he was being.

"This is incredibly James. It really is so incredible. I love you." Sara said with twinkling eyes.

"Do you hear something?" James asked cupping his ear as if pretending to try to listen to something far away.

"No." Sara replied chuckling at her boyfriend's antics.

"Are you sure? Because I think it's coming from that box over there." James replied with a sly smile and got up and picked the box up and set it down on the table. A meow could clearly be heard coming from the box now, as well as some scratching. Sara gasped and looked up at James with a knowing look. Slowly she opened the the box and out popped a grey kitten popped it's head out of the box. Sara picked the small kitten out of the box and cradled it to her chest and whispered to it lovingly.

"Oh James! Thank you!" Sara cried and scratched the kitten's ears.

"How do you like the collar?" James asked. Sara looked down at the collar and gasped even louder. Sitting on the pink collar was a ring.

"Sara will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? And making the three of us a family?" James asked looking at Sara with so much love.

"Of course! Yes! A thousand times yes!" Sara said and James got up to kiss her soundly. Cupping her face in his hands he professed his love to her over and over avian.

~
"That was probably the most romantic thing I have ever seen Jamrs." Adaline smiled with tears in her eyes.

"I love her so much. I thought I never wanted to get married, never wanted to start a family. Sara changed me and made me want all of those things. She's the woman of my dreams." James said looking at the paused picture of Sara.

"I never thought losing her was possible. If I had, I would have done so much differently." Adaline admitted.

"She loved you Addys. I know she loved me, but she really loved you. I'll never forget that proposal. You were the first person she called." James said with a faint smile.

"She was an incredible woman. She's everything I aspire to be." Adaline admired.

James turned on Bride Wars, knowing it would give Adaline some comfort. That was Sara and Adaline's movie. They always watched it when they were missing the other one too much. Adaline laid down in the chair as the movie opened and Emma and Liv began their friendship. James laughed, and the sight was the best thing Adaline had heard in the last few days.

~
At then end of the movie James scooped Adaline up in his arms and began to carry her up to her room. Adlaine woke up and began to protest but James just shook her head.

"Just let me do this for you Addys. It's the least I can do to thank you." James said softly.