Make It to Me

The next few days flew by for Adaline. They were full of tears and funeral preparations. She tried to pass the time by reading or sleeping, but Joyce needed her help more often with more funeral preparations. Adaline was barely keeping it together, everything that she had been doing had run her down and left her an exposed ball of nerves.

Now today was the day. Sara's funeral was going to begin at 11 and followed with a lunch/reception afterward. Adaline rolled over and looked at the bedside clock, 6:45. She had mixed feelings, part of her wanted to get through this because she wouldn't be able to recieve any closure until she finally saw Sara was really gone. The other part of her wanted to keep putting the funeral off. So long as she didn't watch her best friend be lowered into the ground for eternity. She didn't have to accept it if the time never came. Sara was simply just not here right now, not gone forever. So, Adaline didn't know if she wanted to get up and face the day or pretend that time wasn't looming.

~
"Hey." The girl called from the other side of the room, peering up from her box.

"Hi." Adaline replied setting her box on the other bed in the small door room. Adaline had on ripped jeans, a Slytherin shirt, and converse. Typical nerd. Probably made the best first impressions everywhere she went. Not to mention the glasses perched on her nose and the all too visible pimple on her chin.

"Are you really Slytherin or are you just wearing that because you think Tom Felton is hot?" The girl asked suspiciously.

"Ah...no, I took the quiz on Pottermore."Adaline replied, only slightly defensively.

"Well in that case, I'm Sara." Her new roommate extended her hand.

"Adaline." She replied.

"Slytherin, huh? I would have thought Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff before Slytherin." Sara commented.

"Surprised me too honestly. But I guess Rowling doesn't agree with me."

"I got my wish. I'm a Gryffindor." Sara said proudly, pulling out the coorobrating scarf.

"Cool. So, you're a freshamn too?" Adaline asked.

"Yep. Attending my dream school and it gets even better..,"

"How?"

"I think I just met my new best friend." Sara smiled and began unpacking her box some more. Little did Adaline know, they would form a life long bond.

~
Adaline rolled out of bed and took a shower. She let the hot water pelt her already red skin. The slight pricking feeling made her feel somewhat alive, not so numb. Steeping out of the shower, she got the first good look at herself in days. Her eyes were sunken in and had large purple marks underneath them. Her bones all seemed to be more pronounced, her collarbones sticking out painfully. Overall, she looked like she was drug through hell and back. Adaline had probably aged ten years in the last five days, diminishing her youth, and sucking the life from her.

Quickly, she towel dried her hair and brushed it free of tangles. She slipped the funeral dress over her head, smoothing the skirt down around her waist and legs. The black heels adorned her feet and she added her best friend bracelet. She didn't bother with make up, she was entirely too tired. Her mother would be displeased, Adaline thought cynically.

She left her room and turned left walking down the hallway to the room James was in. Knocking softly, she hesitantly entered the room. James was sitting on the bed with his suit on, tie lying on the bed next to him. He didn't acknowledge her come in, just sat motionless, staring at the floor between his legs. One shoe was on and the other was sitting untied on the other foot. His black suit and black tie were all too symbolic of the coming event. He was burrying his wife today and Adaline was burrying her sister, their other half. Today, they were connected because of the pain they both knew all too well. Loss, unfair and uncalled for loss. She couldn't even begin to understand why Sara had been taken from her, taken from all of them.

Adaline walked in front of James and squatted in front of him. He still didn't acknowlede she was there, he kept the stotic, quiet look on his face. Looking at nothing in particular, just staring. Adaline put one hand on his thigh and tried to catch his eyes. Slowly, James looked up and into her eyes. She couldn't see sadness, anger, or any other strong emotion. All she saw was emptiness. He looked at her with devoid eyes. Adaline couldn't tell what was going through his head.

"James?" Adaline asked and received no answer. She tied his shoe then grabbed the tie running the silky material through her hands. She quickly fastened the tie around his neck and set it in place, straightening his suit lapels.

"Addie....I..." James trailed off.

"I know. C'mon James, lets head downstairs." Adeline coaxed as she pulled James to his feet and began walking out of the room and downstairs.

~
The ride to the church was silent. James's parents were gathered in the car along with Joyce and the two of them. James sat with Adeline planted firmly at his side, huddled close to him. No one was quite sure what to say, what does one say to comfort the man whose wife died while crossing the street? What does one to make that feel better?

The day for the most part was beautiful. The sun warmed the chilling Pittsburgh air; a cloudless blue sky. The warmth of the sun was almost enough to make Adeline smile, make her feel like she was back home in the sunny California sun. The light was almost enough to obscure Adaline's view of the church as it pulled into view. The church was something from the Gothic period. The facade was in the high Gothic style, reminding Adeline of the churches she saw during her Art History courses. The massive, wodden doors were opened, no sight visible from the outside. People were gathered around the front steps of the church; talking, catching up, grieving. Everyone was dressed in black almost taking away from the beauty of their surroundings. Adaline could imagine Sara here, walking past the church on any given day.

James's father pushed the door open, everyone exiting save for James and Adeline. He had a "deer caught in headlights" look in his eyes. Fear so blatant she was worried and usnsure how he would react.

"James?" Adeline asked softly, searching his eyes.

"Addie....I don't think I can... I don't think..." he said, his voice oozing fear, and panic growing with each second he stayed in the car. Adeline switched positions so she was facing him, so he couldn't escape.

"James, I know you're scared. I'm scared. This isn't fair, nothing about this is fair. But let me tell you something James; you're not alone. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here through this, we are going to get through this together." Adeline said looking straight into his eyes, watching him visibly relax as she kept talking. He was still afraid, but this was going to be the climb of his life, she only had to make him see the top of it, that place where everything begins to level out.

"You promise Addie?" he asked hoping her words were true.

"I promise." Adeline said offering him a weak smile.

"Okay then." he seemed more confident in his decision. Adeline opened the car door and stepped out, her hands running over the skirt of her dress, smoothing the imaginary wrinkles. James stepped out behind her, and looked toward the open door of the church. Adeline began to walk toward the entrance before she changed her mind and couldn't make it up the steps.

"Adaline?" James called out causing her to stop. He stepped up next to her and grabbed her hand, holding on tight. James visibly relaxed even further with his small gesture. Adeline was James's anchor, keeping him from drifting out to sea, keeping him grounded. The two then began walking toward the church, holding onto one another for comfort, trying to feel brave for this. They walked up the steps as the bell rang out ten charms reminding them of the start of the funeral. The entire church was a deep mahogany with light pouring in through the stained glass windows. There was red carpet way leading down the center of the two rows of benches. At the end of that carpet was a walnut coffin with the flower arrangement Adeline had chosen sitting atop it. There were people in nearly every seat, everyone who loved Adeline, anyone she had touched in her Pittsburgh life.

The entire Pittsburgh Penguins team was sitting in the middle of the church on the left side of the isle. They were all quiet, mourning Sara's death. Adaline looked up and met a pair of coffee eyes warming her all over. They held such softness, such kindness in them. A hint of a smile grazed his lips, trying to make her feel better. Adeline dropped her eyes back down to the floor and continued walking. James and Adaline were just past half way down the isle when there was a hitch in his step. Adaline squeezed his hand a little tighter and he began to walk again, following her lead. They reached their seats and sat down in the front row of the church. James didn't let go of Adeline's hand as everyone sat down and the minister walked up to the pulpit and began speaking.

He launched into a eulogy about Sara, giving her life story, but he didn't know her like Adaline did. Everything he was saying sounded so cold, so impersonal. He talked and spoke of the will of God. Adaline knew that she shouldn't be angry with him, but she was angry that he spoke of Sara and seemed to know her. Finally he asked her family if they wanted to say any words. James froze pulling a paper out of his pocket, but couldn't seem to be able to move. Adaline was terrified of public speaking. Her mind was scrambling...what would she say? Adaline stood up on noodle legs and slowly walked to the podium. She took a deep breath and looked out over at the people in the crowd. One more deep breath and she began.

"Hello. My name is Adaline Spencer for most of you who don't me. I met Sara when we were in our freshman year of college. I walked in my dorm room and we nearly had a fight over which Hogwarts house we were in. We developed this...connection instantly. It was like coming home. We were both so nerdy, you can imagine our surprise when we learned that the other one was just as nerdy as we were. Sara and I clicked, we just worked. College in Boston wasn't so scary anymore for a California and Florida girl. Over the next four years of college Sara and I learned everything there was to know about the other. We became sisters, we were both the only child and over our friendship we learned how to be sisters. I learned what it was like to have a sister." Adaline said, her voice quaking slightly.

"Sara and I were so a like and so different. She was the hot headed and passionate one and I was quiet and learned how to be more assertive through her. One thing about Sara that touched people was her kindness. She was probably one of the sweetest women I had ever met. Sara had a light about her that was like a beacon calling people home." Adaline said and paused again.

"Sara and I moved apart after college. She went to Dallas and I went back to Manhattan Beach, the one in California." That caused a soft laughter to fill the air. "I'll never forget the day she called me to tell me that she was engaged to James. She was so happy, so full of love. I'll admit, I'm a bit of a cynic when it comes to love so when she told me she was getting married so quickly after meeting him I was slightly concerned over her mental state." That remark caused more laughter.

"I have never been more wrong than I was when I saw James and Sara together. Those two were perfect for one another, absolutely perfect. James made her happy and he supported her feminist tendencies, which was a relief to hear. They both have these unique personalities, ones larger than life. Together they were the best combination. I laughed and laughed when I was around them. James completed Sara in a way I don't think anyone else could and for that I am eternally grateful. I began believing in love when I saw them together. I am so fortunate to have witnessed a love like that, a love like James and Sara had and will always have." Adaline continued looking down at James. Adaline paused and looked over at her best friend's casket.

"This is all so...surreal. We promised each other we would chase each other in the nursing home in wheelchairs to keep ourselves entertained. We had so many plans for things we would do, places we would go, and experiences we would share. I can't begin to understand why Sara is gone. It isn't fair because out of all of us, Sara deserved life so much more. I don't want...want her to be gone. I want her back so she can hold my children and I can chase her in my wheelchair. All I know is the only thing I can do now is say thank you for everything she has taught me in my life and everything I have shared with her. So thank you Sara for being my sister, for teaching me how to love, and most importantly how to become the woman I am today." Adaline said while holding back a quiet sob.

She looked back at the people in the church and connected with Sidney's eyes. His eyes held pain for her and warmth, as if to comfort her. She heard the quiet cries of other people in the church but couldn't look away from Sidney. He just watched her offering support. Adaline felt the tears about to fall so she quickly took her seat. James was silently crying and grabbed her hand the moment she sat back down. That was the hardest thing she had elver had to do. The minister stood back up and began talking once again finishing up what he had to say.

~
Sara was buried in one of the most beautiful cemeteries Adaline had ever seen. Her grave was under a tree that resembled a weeping willow next to a pristine lake. Adaline, James, and Joyce dropped a rose in the open grave once Sara's coffin was placed inside. James refused to let go of her hand while at the cemetery. As she was walking back to the car she looked up and saw two white doves sitting on a tree branch. She stopped short trying to think about the likelihood of seeing two doves sitting on the same tree limb. One of the doves flew off the branch and disappeared into the sky leaving the one bird perched on the tree limb over Sara's grave. Adaline was tugged by James's hand and she walked down the path back to the car.
~

There was a small reception held back at the house for some of Sara's closest friends and family. The entire Penguins team came to support their grieving forward and try to help alleviate some his pain. Adaline felt herself crawling back into her shell the longer she was around some of Sara's new friends. She was territorial of Sara, but as her best friend being territorial came with the position. She was shocked to learn some of these women were Sara's friends, they seemed so far from who Sara was. All the same Adaline kept a smile on her face and was pleasant enough to these new women. Adaline was cast into the fire at the house. James's teammates were all surrounding him, pretty much cut off from the others there. Adaline only knew James, the teammates that stopped by the house, Matty, and James and Sara's parents. So, as she tried to keep everyone happy she was meeting everyone for the first time, trying to keep herself together so James and Joyce could grieve and be left alone when the chip bowl went empty. She raced around the house trying to remember names and attend to the reception. Many wanted to know stories about Sara from college and the wedding, but those memories were too painful; and they were Adeline's, hers to remember, to reminisce with.

Every once and a while her eyes would connect with Sidney's across the room and they would share a gaze that made Adaline forget where she was for just a moment. When his eyes met hers he held them captive, held her safely. She would feel her lungs inflate and deflate, breathing, actually breathing since she looked away the last time; only her heart wouldn't seem to beat. Then, something would grab his or her attention and she crashed back down to reality. Joyce was sitting in the window seat, holding a pillow on her lap, looking outside. James was talking quietly with Sidney and Kris. Adaline had just mixed up more tea when Matty appeared in front of her.

"Adaline give me the tea and sit down for a second." Matt ordered.

"I'm...I'm fine Matty." Adaline tried to dissuade, attempting to step around him.

"Addie, you have just as much a right to hurt as James and Joyce. She loved you just as much." Matt said looking directly into her eyes, stripping her bare. He told her she had a right to the pain that was threatening to cripple her. He said exactly what she was afraid of admitting. He told her it was okay to hurt. Instantly, her tears began to well. This time, she wasn't so sure she could control them.

"Matty..." Adaline said, her throat clogging.

"Why don't you go sit down for a while?" Matt suggested. Adaline handed him the tea pitcher and walked past many of the guests until she reached the staircase and took them two at a time to get back to her room. She ran down the hallway and flew into the bedroom. Adaline kicked off her heels and walked to the window overlooking the front yard. She ran her fingers over the curtains and willed the pain away. She sat motionless for some time until she heard the door open behind her. She almost didn't look up to see who it was. Then, she caught that familiar pair of espresso eyes dancing in the mirror's reflection. Her breath caught in her throat.

"Sidney." She finally exhaled.

"Hey Adaline." He said gingerly.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I didn't think you'd want to be alone about now." he replied taking a cautious step toward her. Then, she noticed her cheeks wetting from the now steady stream of tears.

"Th..Th..Than.." She tried to choke out her gratitude but her tears had turned into sobs and she could no longer speak. Sidney closed the distance between them and stood closely to her. He placed a hand on her shoulder to offer his comfort, but not to force her to accept it. She took a step closer to him, and he wrapped one arm around the middle of her stomach to stretch up and rest on the middle of her back. It was comfort, it was home.

"Its not fair!" Adaline cried in desperation and Sidney wrapped both arms around her, gathering her close. She cried and repeated that phrase over and over again.

"Its going to be okay Adaline." Sidney tried to soothe.

"Its too much. I can't take this. It hurts too much." Adaline cried desperately. Adaline wrapped her arms around his midsection needing to feel close to him. He began stroking her hair, making her calm down.

"Adaline." Sidney heaved, as if he was in pain.

"I love her so much! Why? Why did she have to leave me?" Adaline cried out in desperation, her legs giving out. Sidney steered them to the armchair sitting a few feet away. He sat down and brought Adaline to sit on top of him. Instantly, she curled up in a ball on his lap. He softly rocked her and whispered in her ear while stroking her hair. She then silently cried for some time. Sidney held her until the heaves stopped racking her body and her breaths evened out. She allowed herself to sit there for a few more moments, enjoying the comfort of his body.

"I'm sorry. That was uncalled for." Adaline said embarrassed, pulling herself away from his hold.

"Adaline you have nothing to be sorry for." Sidney said pulling to his feet.

"I just cried all over you and I barley know you. I'm sorry." Adaline said her eyes downcast.

"Adaline look at me." Sidney said bending his knes trying to catch her eyes. Adaline avoided them and continued to look down. Sidney cupped her cheek with hand and brought her face up to meet his. Adaline tried to turn her head from his grasp, uncomfortable with the intensity of his look.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of." Sidney repeated and Adaline looked in his eyes and saw the truth that was held there.

"Okay. Thank you." Adaline said. She pulled herself away and grabbed a tissue on the bedside table. Adaline batted the tears from around her eyes and came back with black mascara coating the tissue. She gasped. "I look like a raccoon!" she said through a slight chuckle.

"Not like any raccoon I've ever seen before." Sidney complimented, which caused her to send a glare his way. He then began that god-awful yet adorably-cute honking laugh of his which set her off in a fit of laughter herself. Sidney looked at her and began laughing all over again. Eventually, they both calmed down enough to look at each other without breaking out into giggles.

"Thank you. You really helped me today." Adaline said with a shy, sweet smile.

"Don't worry about it." Sidney said with a slight flame to his cheeks. Adaline was surprised, he was so confident with her before, now he was blushing at a compliment payed to him. Adeline's smile grew, touched by his modesty and being uncomfortable with attention. A silent stretched between the two for a while.

"Well, I should get back downstairs." Sidney said.

"Of course." Adaline replied. Sidney smiled once more before walking toward the door and stopped short.

"Do you think I can possibly have your number? I've really enjoyed talking to you these past few days." Sidney said looking down at his shoes.

"I'd like that." Adaline smiled and grabbed Sidney's outstretched phone and punched in her number. Sidney shut off his phone and slipped it back in his pocket. He smiled at her once more and left the room.