All out and Over

She twisted and turned under her sheets. The air was warm and thick around her. It did not help. No amount of snuggling would make the sheets feel less of a restraining jacket. After a while she gave up. Usually when Malory kissed her goodnight, she slept like a baby. She would rest her head upon the pillow and sleep would knock her out immediately. Not tonight though. Something had been off with Malory, she had been less calm and she had been distant. Too much daydreaming and never disclosing any of them. It worried Cara.

Is it me? Is my sharing getting to her? I never want to tell her all the dirt I do. I never want to tell her how he touches me. Yet, she urges me to do it...I can’t just say no...

Before her mind truly took off, Cara knew what she had to do. She needed some good sleep and she knew how she was going to get it. Pulling her pillow up, she reached into the pillow case and soon her fingers found what they were looking for. A little plastic bag. Looking around if she was truly alone, she pulled it out and held it to the light. She had enough left. Little white pills, her babies. They would knock her into an amazing trip and sleep would soon follow. She longed for it, so desperately.

Popping one of the little pills in her mouth, she already felt calmer. God, the placebo effect is already working.

Not long after, she lost control of her limbs and sagged down on her bed, her eyes into a stare as she felt a warm blanket covering her up. This amazing feeling creeping across her body, from her toes to her head. She was completely vulnerable, and completely at the mercy of anyone who found her like this. It was part of the thrill, being dependent on her surroundings. Anything could happen.

Cara closed her eyes and felt the world swirling around her, swinging her in an unruly sleep.

It was Dmitri and it felt good, so good. She was not sure if she was truly touching herself, yet it felt like she was. Anyone could walk in...Who cared? It felt so good. It felt so very good. He was touching her, like he had before, but the drugs were bringing it to a whole other level. She was floating and her gasps were distant, all she experienced was the fireworks within her. Was she touching herself? Was this a dream? It felt so good. Ecstasy was flooding her body as they moved together. He was whispering dirty little words in her ear but she paid no attention. She didn’t mind how filthy this was; it felt too great to stop. She could not stop, she didn’t want to stop.

“You whore!” the voice of Malory filled her dream and she felt an excruciating pain between her shoulder blades. Her surroundings darkened and the gleaming eyes of her Madame circled her. In panic she looked beneath her breasts and with great speed a blade appeared through her breastbone. It did not just pierce her but it stringed Dmitri onto its blade as well. His eyes were filled with terror, his face white while blood streamed down his mouth.

She did not get her release, they had worked up to it, but the waves had never crashed over her. All she could feel was the blood dripping from her breasts. Dmitri’s blood. All over her. Malory was laughing a maniacal laugh, but Cara could not find her. She could only hear the words the fortune teller spoke.

“I know everything,” she whispered. “When and what you do behind closed curtains. I know the sound of your moans and the intensity of your gasps. And you told me.”

Cara could not enjoy the sight of Dmitri dying. For she did not end her arousal with release and she was in too much pain herself. His limp body dropped to the ground, dragging her with while they were both pierced by the same blade.

“Malory, help me,” a small beg came from her mouth as she felt the air leaving her body. Her fortune lady was not there anymore. The maniacal laugh had stilled and she was all alone.

“MALORY!”

Cara woke and noticed she was drenched in sweat. The little she had worn to bed had been soaked and little beads of sweat pearled on her forehead.

It was the drugs. It was just a bad trip. Malory loves me as a daughter.

Cara forced the memory of her night’s kiss before her eyes and she felt how the full lips of the Madame had pressed against her brow. It had been the sweetest act. It had been a sign of trust and love. This had just been a bad trip. That was all.

I need a cleanup.



The colors of the morning were harsh and bleak. Coming down from her delightful high was never a pleasure and she fallen down hard this morning. The morning air was crisp but summer was still strong. The sun had not yet gotten powerful enough as it shone a dreary light down on the demystified terrain. In the evenings this was a land of mystique and laughter. The night lights enchanted the customers and hid all the little faults that the harsh morning sun exposed.

Cara flattened her hair as she dredged towards the sanitary area to wash. She had dressed herself in a short and slightly ragged bathrobe. It was made of worn red velvet that had seen better days and as many of her garments it only reached down just below her derriere. Some high striped socks kept her legs warm as she wandered down the camp. Little fires for cooking had already started but not many folks were up. The more pristine performers liked to sleep in; they had the last acts of the evening and usually celebrated with cheap wine and beer afterwards.

They do not look half as ravishing in the morning, now do they?

Her boots sank down in the mud and she tread heavily down to the basins. The circus camp had a separate area for washing. A few sinks stood beneath a water supply and with a bar of soap, Cara would be clean from her sweat in no time.

She bent down at one of the full sinks and before putting her hands in the cold water, she looked at her reflection. Red hair was pointing at every direction and there were still some smudges of her makeup upon her cheeks. She could never truly clean it all in the evening.

Why choose me over Malory? She is so much more gracious. Her features, even though aged a bit, are so gorgeous. Who would not want her?

Cara thought of the full bust of the fortune teller that filled her dresses, the great fertile breasts that looked so good, and then looked at her own bosom. Her breasts were a lot smaller. She took them into her hands as she slowly opened her velvet bathrobe. Beneath she had on a little triangle bra and her hands cupped her breasts. They were a good handful, yet nothing in comparison with Malory.

I wish I was her true daughter, I wish I had those genes.

Trying not to think too much about it, she dipped her hands in the icy water and splashed some of it in her face. It would be soon that she’d have to put that same muck upon her face again. Although she liked the muck, she did not like cleaning it one bit. Scrubbing her face, all she could hear was the water splashing in the sink as her hands dipped in and out.

“Doesn’t matter how many times you wash yourself, dirty little girl,” Two hands grabbed her pointy hips. Dmitri. She did not jump from his touch, yet his words fueled her fire and not in the right way. The only one truly nasty is you. Cara was done with people not wanting to touch her or even acknowledge her. She was done with the noses in the air while she passed. She was hygienic, she was just adventurous. She did not take to the rules of the ‘upper-class’ and she felt she did not have to. She was Godless and she loved it.

“I don’t feel like being dirty right now,” She said as she splashed some more water in her face and picked up her towel. She felt his hips touching her butt and his hands had not left her. They even slid down the front right down her inguen.

“You should watch your hands, people can see,” She said. She was not in the mood. Her high had worn down and her bad trip had left her gagging. She remembered the blade going through her torso, how it stuck out at the front, drenched in her blood. The sight of him dying had only been a pity for one thing; his sex. He did know what to do. He truly did.

“I bet you taught him a few tricks,” she said as Malory combed her hair. The lean fingers pulled back some of the fiery strings and put them behind her ear.

“I might have,” Malory said. She never really told what she and Dmitri had done. Cara disclosed much but Malory never did say much. Cara didn’t care. She trusted Madame.

“I mean, some guys don’t even know what foreplay is, yet Dmitri has kind of mastered it, the way he…”

“That’s enough sweetheart,”

She could almost hear the grin upon his face as Dmitri spoke while pulling back his hands back a bit. She could imagine the exposure of his pointy teeth: “Nobody is around, calm down, and if they saw; it will not be more than a gossip.”

He’s playing it cool, yet he is walking on fiery coals, ones I have set ablaze.

“I’d like to keep my privates...well, private.” She said and dried her face with the towel. Before she turned around he tightened her bathrobe around her and turned on her heels. His eyes shot at her slim legs, especially where they disappeared within the short robe. He wanted what was behind it.

His hand shot out and grazed the seam of her robe, trying to pull it loose to expose a breast.

“I’d like to get all up in your privates,” he said. God his voice. Any other day she would have not thought about it. She would have let him pull at the string of her morning dress; she would probably have taken him to one of the outside showers and showed him one of her tricks. Not today.

You should! You should! Malory told you to please him, to not make him suspect. Yesterday he saw you together and now you are refusing him? Don’t be a fool. Malory will not like it of you say no to him. She will be mad.

“Another time,” she said. Somehow she could not let him touch her now. Somehow all she could think of was that blade and that awful laugh. Malory would be mad. She would even be furious. Cara didn’t care. Maybe tonight she’d be up for it, but she was not Malory’s whore. She did have the power to make her own decisions; and at this moment; she did not want him.

“You sure, little spark; I’d love to make you sizzle all over the place again,”

“Ask me tonight,” Cara said as he was stepping backwards, letting his hand fall down his body again. “The flames always get me going,”

Malory would be mad. It seemed that whatever she did, she would feel ashamed. If she slept with him, she’d feel dirty but not sleeping with him felt like a betrayal too.

I need to get dressed; I guess that acrobat bitch will have enough to tell.