The Love We Once Had

You know, It's been a long time since I tasted the euphoria of caramel covered candy apples. I used to love that taste. The sweat and then salty bitter taste that returned back to sweet as it hit the back of my tongue, but now my favorite tastes have become the cough like taste of cigarettes and the inky bittersweet taste of bear.

I chug down the last bottle of beer before I head to the bathroom to get my ass ready for school. He texted me and I all but jump for my phone. Nico, my best mate, the stupid idiot who does stupid shit with me. That oblivious moron, the one that has no clue whatsoever that I’m in over my head for his quirky smile and beautiful green eyes.

“Hey, do you want a ride?” I all but roll my eyes. What is that moron even thinking when asking something so crude.

“What do you think?” I shot back before heading to brush my teeth to get the smell of liquor and smoke off of my breath.

Next, I follow with a shower to get the ever present smell of sex off me. Quickly jumping out from beneath the jet spray I head to my messy room. After shoveling through shit on the floor I finally make it to my dresser pulling out a pair of khaki shorts and a pink hollister top, which I cover up with a gray hoodie. Grabbing my backpack, I decide to go through my window to avoid the unnecessary hassle of talking to my mother in the morning. I find him waiting for me in his car, his shit faced grin on and I can’t help but smile back. Yes, I thought.

I’m in deep trouble...

You have to understand, it’s not my fault. I can’t help what my heart does. It’s like a cat, it does its own fucking thing. I certainly am not happy with the idea of loving Nico, not at all. I mean he's my best friend and not to mention a guy, a completely straight guy at that. I'd be surprised if he actually knew the meaning of gay… okay that's not true, he's pretty smart. Not to mention athletic. It's weird but I've kept my attraction to myself; I've kept everything to myself. He doesn't have the slightest idea that I'm Bi. Yup, this bitch swings both ways, but honestly I’ve swayed more to men than women. I like them both though.

Caramel apples. The day I knew i was in love with him. We were on the ferris wheel in the summer. I was eight, and he nine. We sway high in the air, the smell of sugar and grease filled the air as lights swirled all around. Screams and laughter sounded for miles. It was the carnival and his parents had dropped us off seeing as it was the weekend. So there we sat high above, able to see the world as we ate sugared apples. He devoured his, leaving nothing but the wooden stick. Me, I was the slow eater, taking my sweet time to munch down the apple. He got antsy waiting atop, so knowing him, he did something stupidly funny. Standing up on the bars he looked down at the people below us.

“Yo” he called, and then he surprisingly received a response.
“Hello” it was a few girls about our age back then, maybe even a little older.
“How’s life?”
“Good, you?” they laughed, probably at the fact that they were having a conversation in such weid circumstances. He smiled. I sat next to him as he stood talking to the girls.
“Hey guess what,” he said to the girls, one was blonde and the other was a redhead.
“What?” they asked in unison.
“He wants to go out with both of yall!” Nic pointed to me, basically shouting. I literally spit out chunks of apple.
“Wait, What? No!” I was panicking as the girls laughed. I was beet red by then. After slapping Nico he backed off sitting down as he looked at me as I ate. He was just staring.

“What” I asked.
“You got a little something there” He said as he gestured to his own cheek. I tried to get it off, but nothing came off on my hands. Then he did the most unexpected thing. Leaning close he licked my face, taking off whatever was there, smiling as he liked his lips. “Mmm, you taste like apples, Porter”. That's when I fell in love for the first time. The rest of the night I had a blush plastered on my face, but he didn't seem to notice my uneasiness. And now eight years later, he still is oblivious to my hidden feelings.

Getting in his car we drove while talking about random shit, laughing over weird shit we heard from the group we hang with, and fighting over who would win the next football game. Every once in awhile I sneaked glances at him, his green eyes were lighter and prettier in the morning. That's it, I can’t take it anymore I think as we pull up at the front while getting out of the car.

“Hey well I’ll see you later, okay.” I smile, totally pulling off my fake persona that I only play for him. he smiles while giving me a high five. “Don't be late you shit head” he calls as I laugh while waving goodbye to my secret love. Afterwards, I head off to big tree.

I find her propped against the tree, surrounded by the dogs that follow her. Yes, she most definitely is the prettiest little thing in school. With long blonde flowing hair that goes past her perky little ass and blue eyes that put the sky to shame. Olivia, also known as, The Queen. Olivia is like me, a double edged sword. There’s the side which she shows to everyone which is the goodie side, the sweet little caring and generous Olivia that everyone sees. Then there's the real Olivia who is deceitful, perky, devious, and cruel. That is the Olivia that only the ones just like her know. She puffs smoke up while looking up at the leaves in the oak tree that she stands alone under. I stand in front of her, and she looks at me with an indecisive look.

“Help me out my dear." She becomes curious as to what I could possibly ask her for.
"I'm listening." I smile as I hear that. That's right my little pet, you have no choice but to listen I think while saying me next words. “Be my pawn in this little game of catch the knight,” I said sliding a finger up her jaw line.

“Oh, I thought the princess was the one to ride off in the wind, not prince charming. You know the whole damsel in distress," she said while grinning evilly.
I cup her face and bring her lips to mine, but they barely touch.
"In this story prince charming is selfish and doesn't give a damn about the princess, but instead, he wants his knight in shining armour,” I whisper while continuing to trail my finger on her jaw.
She laughs. “Very well my prince, I will be the distressful princess in this story, but it will cost you dearly.”
"Whatever you desire." She closes her eyes as she reaches up and closes the space between us.
Yes, Olivia is pretty but she is also ugly. She isn't like Nico, she doesn't frighten me like he does. She makes me feel comfortable because she reminds me of myself, and I have come to terms with my own wickedness. She slides her tongue into my mouth but I'm better at her little game. I hit the spot in her mouth that causes her to moan and I know that I have won. She stops kissing me and I smile.
“Satisfied?” She responds by nodding..
“So, why now?” She asks bluntly. She has always known that I love Nico, she's the only one I truly confide in other than Nico. “Im at my tipping point, if I don't do something I'm going to end up with a broken wrist and blue balls from loving that clueless idiot.” She laughs as she holds onto me while wrapping her arms around my neck.
“So, what are the rules of your little game my love?”
“You become my princess, and by princess I mean for you to act as one to.” I say kissing her thin nose and she pouts.
“Very well my prince.”
“ Next rule, no falling for the knight in shining armor, he's mine.” She crosses her fingers over her heart making a promise.
“Good, then let us start with the roll of the dice shall we.”
She takes my hand throwing her cigarette away and leading me into the school, regaining her sweet little girl persona.
Yes, the game is set, all that's left is for us to put the players into action.