Sequel: March 27, 2016 ›
Status: Completed
Letters to Nikolai
March 25, 2015
So I told you I'd never contact you again and I didn't.
But my brother borrowed my phone and happened to send you, of all people, a game request.
Then you started sending me tons of messages about game requests and stuff like that, but I never responded. But then I decided, why not? And I started playing the game with you.
Now we're talking again and I'm so confused and I don't know what to do. I expected you to respond to me after I sent you that message a few days after your birthday, but you didn't. I gave up all hope and I moved on and now here you are again. Back in my life. Why?
You keep sending me heart emoticons too. What's up with that? I mean, I know they're cheesy and all but because technology was all we ever had to express our love, those heart emoticons used to mean so much to both of us. It was what we did. We'd play and make all sorts of combinations with all sorts of heart emoticons. We used to try outdoing the other the way that some couples fight about who loves the other more. Does this mean you want to pretend like we didn't spend 3 months apart? I can't do that because my heart still hurts. On top of that, my head hurts now too because you're confusing me. You said that you didn't want to be with me anymore because it was hurting both of us. Yet here you are, acting the same way you used to.
How am I supposed to respond? Are you trying to tell me that you still love me? Do you want me back? I don't get it. Stop it.
I don't want this after all and I'm beating myself up for being so flip floppy.
But don't you dare think that after all this time I'll just let you in like I did before. You hurt me and I won't forgive you for that so easily.
But my brother borrowed my phone and happened to send you, of all people, a game request.
Then you started sending me tons of messages about game requests and stuff like that, but I never responded. But then I decided, why not? And I started playing the game with you.
Now we're talking again and I'm so confused and I don't know what to do. I expected you to respond to me after I sent you that message a few days after your birthday, but you didn't. I gave up all hope and I moved on and now here you are again. Back in my life. Why?
You keep sending me heart emoticons too. What's up with that? I mean, I know they're cheesy and all but because technology was all we ever had to express our love, those heart emoticons used to mean so much to both of us. It was what we did. We'd play and make all sorts of combinations with all sorts of heart emoticons. We used to try outdoing the other the way that some couples fight about who loves the other more. Does this mean you want to pretend like we didn't spend 3 months apart? I can't do that because my heart still hurts. On top of that, my head hurts now too because you're confusing me. You said that you didn't want to be with me anymore because it was hurting both of us. Yet here you are, acting the same way you used to.
How am I supposed to respond? Are you trying to tell me that you still love me? Do you want me back? I don't get it. Stop it.
I don't want this after all and I'm beating myself up for being so flip floppy.
But don't you dare think that after all this time I'll just let you in like I did before. You hurt me and I won't forgive you for that so easily.