Sequel: March 27, 2016 ›
Status: Completed
Letters to Nikolai
January 22, 2015
So I decided to join this website that's made for people to meet each other. It's not a dating website but a lot of people seem to think it is. I'm not looking around for a boyfriend or anything. I thought I could meet a new friend there. You never know where you'll find a gem of a person. So far, I've only gotten messages from boys and they keep telling me I'm pretty and they want to get to know me or they want to meet me and maybe go on a date. Some have used pickup lines and it's actually very funny. Everyone there has failed to make me feel the way you did when we first met. They're also not nearly as good as saying beautiful things to woo me. Maybe I'll delete it, but I don't really want to. I'm still looking for someone that is willing to put up with me and listen to the things I have to say.
I asked you once if you've ever been in love and you told me about Cassie. You explained to me that you thought you were in puppy love with her and then proceeded to define puppy love for me. You used a great metaphor that I'll have to paraphrase because I can't remember it exactly. I only wish I could make it as beautifully articulate as you made it. I'll try my best.
What I felt for her was what you feel when you listen to a really incredible song. The rhythm moves something inside you and it sounds so sweet to your ears. But you know that the song won't last forever and it will eventually end. It breaks your heart and you try to find a new song that moves you, even if it's not in the same way. But every now and then you like to go back to the first song and remember all the good feelings that came with it.
Then after that you told me you loved me. You said that our love was different. Our love was a ''come here and let me hold you until the world ends and even when it does end I'm not letting go'' kind of love. It was cute and simple and nothing anyone ever says to me will ever compare to that moment.
What have you done to me? I'm living off of my memories of you. This is so unhealthy for me. I'm in such a bad place right now. I thought I was handling this well, but I'm really not.
I asked you once if you've ever been in love and you told me about Cassie. You explained to me that you thought you were in puppy love with her and then proceeded to define puppy love for me. You used a great metaphor that I'll have to paraphrase because I can't remember it exactly. I only wish I could make it as beautifully articulate as you made it. I'll try my best.
What I felt for her was what you feel when you listen to a really incredible song. The rhythm moves something inside you and it sounds so sweet to your ears. But you know that the song won't last forever and it will eventually end. It breaks your heart and you try to find a new song that moves you, even if it's not in the same way. But every now and then you like to go back to the first song and remember all the good feelings that came with it.
Then after that you told me you loved me. You said that our love was different. Our love was a ''come here and let me hold you until the world ends and even when it does end I'm not letting go'' kind of love. It was cute and simple and nothing anyone ever says to me will ever compare to that moment.
What have you done to me? I'm living off of my memories of you. This is so unhealthy for me. I'm in such a bad place right now. I thought I was handling this well, but I'm really not.