Life on Tour

It was barely a week into my 17th year in this cruel, unforgiving world, and I'm already in loads of trouble. Sure. I can see why other people would think what I did was unprovoked and unforgivable, but in my eyes, tipping the chair over and almost hitting another woman with it seemed completely just. It's not every day you find yourself in the same general vicinity as the person you despise to the highest degree, but I definitely can't be expected to keep in my anger for the short amount of time in which it does occur.

“I just don't see why I’m being told off when she was clearly in the wrong.” I argued.

“Libby, I don't care how annoying she can be to you. You are not allowed to throw any piece of furniture at my girlfriend. You're not allowed to be physically violent to her, or anyone else in anyway unless it's self-defence. Understood?” My brother, Alex, lectured. I shook my head.

“I mean, sure, maybe I was too quick to throw the chair. I mean, I missed her by about a centimeter. Alex, she was a complete bitch to me. You're always putting her first.” I argued.

“Libby, can you not just try to get along? It means a lot to me. She means a lot to me. Just try. For me?” He asked. I sighed.

“Fine, but you can't blame me for being impatient if she ever calls me a rainbow whore again.” I told him. He groaned and left the room. Then, it was just me, and his best friend and band mate, Jack Barakat.

“Don't worry about it, girlie. One day he'll realise what a jerk she's being, and he'll be begging for your forgiveness, and you'll say that it's okay because you realise what it's like to be crazy in love.” He said. I gave him a quizzical look. Jack also happens to be one of my best friends as well. All the band are amazing, and they treat me like another member. Albeit, somewhat more flirtatiously with Jack. They're all roughly 9-10 years older than me.

“How would I know what it'll be like to be 'crazy in love' by then?” I asked.

“Because we'll be dating.” He joked. I giggled.

“Yeah. You wish.” I retorted. Alex and Jack, along with Rian and Zack are in a band called All Time Low. They're actually very successful. I also have a slightly posh British accent which I accumulated from watching British shows and films as a kid. Seeing as I've got High-Functioning Autism, I picked it up, and haven't been able to switch it no matter how much I've been accustomed to an American setting.

“Listen to me, everyone agrees that Hannah's a massive bitch, but if we're patient, she's gonna leave that much quicker. Trust me. Actually, Hannah's not going to come on tour with us. I mean, she might pop up to a few shows, but I mean, that's barely anything for a month. How about I try and get you to come with us?” He asked. I felt my face brighten up a bit.

“Sure. It could be fun actually. Thanks, Jack.” I said. He smiled.

“No problem future girlfriend.” He joked. I giggled again, then decided to get out of the room. I was having a hard time being in here for so long. I decided to go for a walk. Being inside the house was boring me before too long. I caught myself thinking a lot about what was going on right now.

Hannah Hughes, the bitchiest girlfriend my older brother has ever had, is even fooling him into thinking I’m the worst woman that ever cursed the ground anyone walked on. She feels like everyone's in constant competition with her, even though it's completely vice versa. However, the entire fan base of All Time Low seem to adore her because she's “so cute” in the words of some fans. I think they only like her because she isn't incredibly stick skinny like most girls they could get, and she always smiles, and always seems to do the right thing in front of people who matter. But behind closed doors, she's evil, spiteful, and flirts with every single man with a pulse. It actually makes me feel sick.

Then there's Jack, who although always seems to flirt with me, always brushes it off as just joking. But I’m not so sure about that. I mean, yeah, I’ve always thought about us together since we were both old enough. I think it started about a couple of years ago. I was just lounging around in my pyjamas, and all of a sudden, in front of the entire band says “Oh, Libby, put some actual clothes on. You know how your pyjamas turn me on.” and again, he's a very jokey kind of man, and he even jokingly flirts with Alex sometimes, but for some reason, Jack gets this look in his eyes as everyone's laughing along with it. He looks me in the eyes as if to say that he's hiding his truth in a lie. Sometimes I catch him staring at me. Not in a way that would suggest I had a massive ugly mark on my face. In a way that makes me feel as though he thinks I’m beautiful. It's a wonderful feeling, but it just confuses me.

Rian and Zack are my brother figures. They're always there for me, and it feels great to have their support. I feel like I can tell them anything I can't tell Alex or Jack. Usually it's about them. I tell them all the time about how I think Jack likes me, but they comfort me. They say that he can be over friendly, but he wouldn't cross that line with me. I also talk about how I feel like Alex doesn't like me at all anymore, and that he loves Hannah way more than me. At that, they have nothing to say. They just sigh awkwardly, and say that they're sure it'll work out soon enough. I'm not so sure.

Soon enough, I found myself at the entrance of a park. I decided to sit on the swings and just chill out for a bit. I sat for about 5 minutes until someone suddenly sat next to me. I looked to see who it was. Her name is Vicki Ford. She's a huge All Time Low fan, and she goes to my school. She's a nice girl, except she's very clingy to me, and for obvious reasons. She pisses me off a lot of the time due to her intentions, but I know that she really is a nice person, so I’m never rude to her.

“Hi Vicki.” I greeted.

“Hey Lib. I never see you here. Are you having a family day out?” She hopefully asked. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, and instead, just shook my head.

“Nope. Just went out for a walk.” I answered.

“Oh. Well that's fair enough. How's your day been?” She asked. I shrugged.

“I just can't wait for it to be over I guess. I think I’m gonna leave in a few minutes though. I'm getting kind of cold.” I told her. She nodded her head.

“Still. It’s fun on the swings isn't it? I don't understand how anyone could grow out of them.” She said. I nodded my head.

“True. But I'm really tired. I think I'm even getting a headache from some stress to be honest. It was nice to talk to you though, but I've really got to get going.” I said.

“Okay then. I wish you better, Libby. See you in school.” She said. I nodded my head and walked out of the park.

“Libby? Thank god!” I heard Jack exclaim about a minute after I started walking back home again.

“What's up?” I asked.

“Where the hell were you? Everyone's been looking for you for ages. I thought you ran away. I thought something bad had happened to you, you idiot!” He said, giving me a hug.

“What are you talking about? I just went for a walk.” I told him.

“For 2 hours? Without telling anyone?” He asked. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. Had it really been that long?

“Okay, I'm sorry about the whole not telling anyone thing, but I really didn't think it was that long. Maybe half an hour at most.” I said.

“Libby, I was worried sick. We all were.” He said.

“I lost track of time. I'm fine. It happens to the best of us.” I told him.

“How were you not exhausted?” He asked. I shrugged.

“I don't know. I was just really consumed by my thoughts.” I told him.

“What the hell were you thinking about?” He asked. I didn't want to tell him the truth, so I just avoided the question.

“Just stuff. Jack, I’m fine. Don't worry about it.” I said. He nodded his head.

“Okay. Look, get in my car. I'm gonna tell everyone that I found you and I don't know. Maybe I'll get you dinner on the way back if you behave.” He said flirtatiously. I giggled again. I don't know what it is about him. He just makes me laugh a lot, and I don't mind it when he flirts with me. Even when nobody else is around to witness it. I sat in the front seat of his car, and I saw him through the window on the phone to someone. Probably Alex. I saw Jack smiling, and he often looked at me to check I was okay. Every time he did, I smiled at him, and he smiled back. Once he hung up, he ran to the driver’s seat, and started the engine.

“Is everything okay?” I asked. He nodded his head.

“Yeah. I mean, they're just relieved more than anything else. Your parents are slightly angry though, but I’m sure it won't last for long. Just don't do it again okay? I really want you to come on tour with us. It'd be awesome. You could be in the bunk next to mine and we could have pillow fights, and play the floor is made of lava.” He said. I smiled and nodded my head.

“It doesn't sound like too much of a bore. It's just that, well, after everything going on with Alex and Hannah, I really don't want to be around that. And I know you said that she won't be there, but trust me, the second she finds out I'm going, she's gonna hop on that bus and start making out with Alex in front of us. It's gonna be disgusting. I hate her.” I told him. He nodded his head, and he put his hand on my shoulder in comfort.

“Tell you what though. It'll still be awesome. I mean, there won't at all be any room for Hannah on the bus anyway, and once she's outta there, we're gonna have the best time. I can't wait for you to be there. You'll be on the side of the stage watching us and our fans, and maybe they might spot you and point at you and start smiling. I mean, they do that with Cassadee and Regina. As well as everyone's siblings. Then after the show I'll probably whip my sweaty towel on you...” He described, but I interrupted him.

“You do realise you're getting really descriptive. Let me leave something to the imagination.” I said.

“I am. Trust me. Anyway, where do you wanna get food?” He asked. I shrugged my shoulders.

“I'm not too hungry right now.” I answered.

“Libby, you've been walking non-stop for 2 hours. You're having some food and something to drink.” He said. “In fact, there's a bottle of water in the glove box. Start drinking that while I suggest places to go.” He said. I opened the glove box and took out the dented water bottle. It's definitely been refilled multiple times, but I knew Jack was right. I was probably thirsty as hell, and I didn't even realise. I unscrewed the lid and took gulp after gulp of the lukewarm water. It was disgusting, but I couldn't help myself. I was extremely thirsty. Once I finished the bottle, I gasped for breath.

“Wow. Okay. Maybe I was a bit thirsty.” I admitted. He giggled.

“Feeling a bit better now?” He asked. I nodded my head.

“Yeah. Still thirsty though.” I answered.

“Well, where do you wanna go?” He asked. I quickly made up my mind.

“I'll be sure that my half is paid for, but can we please go to Va Pensiero?” I asked. Va Pensiero is a really expensive Italian restaurant which I’m absolutely in love with. He nodded his head.

“Absolutely. Just make sure to tell Alex.” He told me I nodded my head, and sent him a text.

Hey Alex. Sorry about that. Didn't realise the time. Anyway Jack said he's gonna take me to get some food – Libby. I got a reply almost instantly.

I'll talk to you about it when you get back. That's fine. Be safe, and make sure you're back by at least 9.

I told Jack what he said, and then we got back to our normal conversation.

“So, how long do you think it'll be until Alex realises the mistake he's made in his love life?” I asked. He giggled.

“Come on. He's my best friend. I can't just gossip about him.” He said, but he still had a smirk on his face.

“Fine. Okay then. Tell me when you think yours will start up again.” I said. His smirk disappeared. He didn't look angry or sad. Just indifferent.

“Not sure.” He answered. I felt bad immediately after I said it.

“God. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I was just joking with you. I wanted to see if there was anyone you like. That's all.” I said. He smiled and rolled his eyes at me.

“Libby, its fine. And for your information, yes, there is someone that I like. But I doubt it'll ever happen between us.” He said. I creased my eyebrows.

“What? What do you mean? You're Jack Barakat from All Time Low. I don't think there's a single man or woman you couldn't get.” I told him.

“Well, I'm straight, so the person I like is indeed a female. She's absolutely beautiful, and smart, and funny, and we get along great. But I feel like she doesn't see in me what I see in her. It sucks so much, but it's okay. More than anything, if we can't be happy together, I'd rather she was happy without me, and that I could move on.” He said. I nodded my head in understanding.

“Well, do I know her?” I asked.

“Maybe, maybe not.” He said in a weird accent. I giggled. He stifled one too. “Okay, the truth is that no matter how much I love this woman, unless I’m at least 100% positive that she feels the same, I’m not going to give away her identity. Unless I'm drunk or so tired that I’m basically asleep.” He told me.

“Maybe I should get you drunk tonight and find out.” I joked. He smiled and shook his head.

“Well, what about you? Any men you at least hope to be on the scene?” He asked. I shrugged.

“I'm not sure. I mean, if I go out with a guy that I really like right now, the chances of me staying with him forever are slim to none. I mean, I don't know anyone who ever stays with their first partner. Plus, I’m not even sure if I really do like anybody. Hopefully at some point though, I'll find a guy who loves me just as much as I love him, and it'll work out.” I said. He nodded his head.

“Who knows? Maybe you have found the guy you're gonna spend the rest of your life with. I mean, I read somewhere that most people meet the person they're gonna marry by the time they turn 16, and you turned 17 this month. I mean, you just might have found the one.” He said.

“If he is, I hope he isn't one of the douche bags.” I said. He smiled in what appeared to be amusement. “What?” I asked.

“It's just that I can't ever imagine you ending up with a douche bag. You don't even put up with anyone who goes a toe over the line, and you're line goes back pretty far joke-wise. But when it comes to their douche level, you completely point them out on it.” He said. I smiled proudly and nodded my head.

The rest of the car journey was pretty relaxing. It's nice to have some quality time with Jack. When we went to the restaurant, we ended up in a table at the front, right by the windows, so it was nice to see the people and cars go by. We were just mucking about. Even when our food came. If this is what the tours supposed to be like, except more of it, with a bit more freedom and impoliteness, then I can't wait. Whether Jack and I ever end up to be something, at least I know as friends, we can still have the best fun I've ever known could be had. I can only hope he was right about me having found the one already, and I hope that I'm right about it being him.