Miss the Misery

“You've painted up your lips and rolled and curled your tinted hair,
Ruby are you contemplating going out somewhere?”
- Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love To Town, The Killers.

Josephine always love the preparation she did before she went out. The curling of her hair, the ritual of putting her make-up on in the mirror, and – her favourite part – sliding the dress she had chosen on and over her body. It made her feel special.

She stepped into her beloved silver heels. They were low, compared to some other pairs she owned, but they were the one she had chosen for tonight. She thought they went well with her elected dress; a purple dress that had silver sparkle on the bodice and down the sides to the hem.

After tightening them, Josephine checked her make-up in the hall mirror, picked up her clutch from the table under the mirror, shrugged on her coat – it was cold outside – and left her apartment.



Upon entering the club, she immediately made her way to the bar, sliding gracefully past the people in the room. When she got there, she ordered an Apple Martini and settled down to people-watch.

Josephine watched, sipping at her drink, as her fellow bar patrons got steadily drunker as the night wore on. Really, she was pleasantly surprised that no one had tried to hit on her. But, of course that illusion couldn’t last for long.

“Hey honey.” A voice said.

She turned and froze. It was Alex. This was bad, very bad. She cursed mentally and forced herself to relax, because she did not want Alex to know who she also was.

“Hello.” She said calmly, not showing the pure panic that was coursing through her head.

“Can I buy you a drink?” He asked, smirking just a bit from under his beanie.

On a whim, she decided to let him buy her one drink and then she would go. Because this was Alex and there was no way she could turn him down. She’d seen the pained expression on his face up close too many times. No, she couldn’t turn him down.

“Sure you can. I’m drinking Apple Martinis,” She said, smiling a little, “But first what’s your name?”

“Mine’s Alex,” He grinned toothily before ordering the requested drink, “And now that you know mine, I’d like to know yours.”

As the bartender came back with her drink, Josephine smiled prettily and took it, taking a sip.

“I’m afraid, I can’t give such information out to people like you.” She said.

“People like me?” Alex questioned, an eyebrow rising in curiosity.

“Yes,” She took another sip. These club really did do the best drinks in Baltimore, but now wasn’t the time to think about that, she had to answer a curious Alex. “Guys who just want a good night.”

“Now, I take offence. I’m not looking for a good night,” The emphasis on the last two words told Josephine that Alex knew exactly what she was talking about. “All I’m looking for is a pretty face to talk to.”

Resisting the urge to raise one of her thick black eyebrows in disbelief, as that would undoubtedly give the game away, she said, “Now, why don’t I believe you?”

“Because you know it’s true, and that’s making you doubt it.”

Josephine tilted her head to one side, taking note of the way Alex’s eyes focused on her neck before replying with, “Now that isn’t true.”

She took a long delicious sip of her Apple Martini, taking simple pleasure in the way that it slipped down the throat, and watched again as Alex’s eyes were drawn to it. In a few minutes, she finished the drink.

She addressed the confused looking Alex and said, “Well, this has been fun, but you better find another girl if you want a good night.”

And with those last words, Josephine walked elegantly out of the club, leaving a star-struck Alex sitting on his own, his mouth open wide in shock.



“H-hello?” Jack said into his phone. It had been ringing incessantly for the past ten minutes. At first, he’d thought that if he ignored it, the ringing would stop. Apparently not.

“Jack! Let me in dude!”

He sat up in bed. It was Alex. He couldn’t come in, not yet anyway. He hadn’t tidied up from last night. There was still a pair of silver heels by the door, and Jack didn’t even want to think about what Alex’s reaction would be if he found the dress on his bedroom floor. Or the make-up. Or the wig. Or the bra.

“S-sure. Give me a sec Alex.” Jack said, getting out of bed and pulling a random t-shirt on.

“Ok.” And then Alex hung up.

Jack tried not to panic because Alex would notice straight away, but he couldn’t help the little tinge of it sweep around his body as he shoved the dress he’d worn last night under the bed. It would crease it, but Jack could worry about that later. What he had to concentrate on was that Alex was outside and evidence of Josephine was scattered across his apartment. Shit.

As quickly as humanely possible, he went through his room, hiding the make-up, along with the bra, in a drawer. The wig was put hastily on its model and hidden in his closet. Jack heard Alex bang on the door, and cursed out loud. The heels were by the door. This would take a lot of deception, and while he didn’t normally like lying to his best friend, this was one of the things that no one knew about him. And he wouldn’t let one tiny slip up give him away.

Just before he went into the hall, Jack took a deep breath and put on a smile for Alex, who was waiting. He went to the door, and as he pushed the heels under the table with one foot, Jack opened the door, greeting Alex as he did so.

“Jack! What took you so long?” Alex asked as he went past Jack, heading instinctively towards the kitchen.

“Couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed,” Jack lied, hating himself for having to do so, “Why are you here?”

“Cause I met the most amazing girl last night!” His best friend replied, back turned as he looked in the cupboard, “You have to meet her!”

Jack knew without a doubt that, if he went out with Alex, then they wouldn’t see the girl Alex was talking about. After all, Josephine was just a different side to him.

Sitting down on the chair after putting the kettle on, Jack said, “D’you even know her name?”

He laughed as Alex paused in searching through the cupboards. Typical Alex, gets infatuated with a girl and doesn’t even know her name. But then Jack had refused to give a name, as he knew it would be hard for him to remember. Maybe next time he would tell Alex her name was Josephine. Maybe.

“N-no,” Alex sighed, admitting defeat with Jack’s shelves, there was nothing on them, “But there’s always next time right?”

“Yeah Alex, there is.”

“On another note, we are going shopping. There is no food in this kitchen! You’re meant to feed your guests Jack!” Alex said, pulling Jack out of the kitchen, barely giving him time to grab his keys and phone, and out of his apartment towards the shops. Jack needed some food.



That night, Jack went out with Alex to the same club he’d been in yesterday. They were supposedly looking for the girl Alex had talked to, but Jack knew that, unless he went back to his apartment and changed, Alex wouldn’t be seeing Josephine.

“Hey Jack,” Alex said from next to him, nudging him with one shoulder, “I can’t see her.”

“Really?” Jack replied, taking a sip of his beer.

Alex nodded, and fuck, Jack thought the way Alex’s hair shone in the dim light of the club was beautiful. Honestly, Jack couldn’t think of anything better than his best friend smiling.

After another twenty minutes of sitting there and drinking their beers, Jack’s best friend finally gave up on trying to see the girl and left the place with Jack. By this point, they were fairly drunk, still able to walk in a straight line, but unable to stop thoughts from flowing freely from their minds to their mouth and out of them.

“Jack…” Alex said, stumbling along the sidewalk.

“Y-yeah?”

“Where were you t-two days ago? I wanted to go out with you.”

Jack realised that he would have to lie and that it would have to be believable because, even when Alex was drunk, as he was now, he could call Jack out on bullshit.

“I was in my apartment, watching TV.”

“Boring!” Alex proclaimed, spinning in a circle before falling over his own feet.

Jack helped his best friend up and began to help him walk – stumble – back to his apartment. He was glad that he’d tided up beforehand because he didn’t think Alex, even if he was drunk, would fail to notice a bra and a dress on the floor of his bedroom. Though Jack thought that Alex might just brush it off as something a one night stand had left behind. Except even Alex would question why the ‘girl’ had left without her dress.



Josephine smiled around her glass. Alex was back. She would enjoy talking to him again. She’d decided on the way here, after putting on a green dress and matching heels, that if she saw Alex and he talked to her, she would tell him her name. At the last possible moment. Because that was always fun, to see the look of excitement on his face swiftly followed by disappointment as she walked away. It made her life interesting.

“Hello.” He said as he sat on the bar stool next to Josephine.

She smiled, “Hello Alex.”

She didn’t miss the slow glance Alex gave her, going up and down, pausing on her hips and breasts. She smiled alluringly, enjoying the attention.

It was quiet between the two in the bustle of the bar before Alex spoke.

“You know,” He said, “I came here with my friend to see if I could find you, but we couldn’t.”

“Friend?” Josephine replied, already knowing that it was Jack, but wanting to make conversation with Alex.

“Yeah, Jack. He came with me and when we couldn’t find you, we just got drunk instead.”

She laughed, “Oh yeah?”

Alex nodded, taking a sip of his beer, “Yeah. Can’t really remember much of that night.”

They continued to drink – Josephine was drinking her usual Apple Martini and Alex was drinking his pint of beer – as the night wore on, time steadily sliding by. At half past eleven, Josephine chose to go home. As she got up, Alex also stood up.

“You’re going?” He said, putting his empty glass on the wooden bar.

“Yes I am.” Josephine said, smiling and beginning to walk towards the door.

She felt a hand on his wrist and turned around.

Alex raised an eyebrow, saying, “You still haven’t told me your name.

Josephine smiled, raising a hand and tracing it along Alex’s jawline, “The name’s Josephine darling.”



“You know that girl we went looking for the other night?”

Jack blinked slowly, taking in the sight of his best friend sitting opposite him. They were drinking coffee – much-needed in Jack’s case – in a coffee shop near Alex’s house, discussing Alex’s encounter with Josephine the previous night.

“Yeah Alex?”

“She told me her name!” Alex exclaimed, almost spilling his cup of coffee in his excitement.

Jack chuckled at the excitement in Alex’s brown eyes, “And what is it?”

“Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you that!” Alex said, “Josephine. Don’t you think it’s a great name?”

“Er…yeah. I guess so.”

Why didn’t Alex think Jack was a great name? He thought with an amount of ferocity it surprised him. (Now why did he think that?)