Status: Ongoing

Starting Over

Everything is Clear

Another day has passed since the incident with Beth. She still hasn't come back, and it's worrying you that you made things worse.

Carol was the one to bring your food that morning, but when you asked about Beth she merely smiled and walked out.

Everything was starting to feel like you were an unsuspecting prisoner being lied to day in and day out.

The cell was becoming even more suffocating, and you eventually found yourself plotting your escape.

You slowly lift your leg from the pillow and maneuver to the side of the bed. The pain that shoots up from your calf is now just a dull ache as you learn to live with it.

People move about in the hall having small conversation as they go about their daily chores. Everything feels so normal, but at the same time, you feel like you're shut off from everyone else.

No one bothers to check in on you or even stop by to say 'hey'. They all just carry on without you as though you're invisible.

But you know as soon as you step out into that hall everyone will stop whatever they're doing and stare at you.

It happened before the last time you tried to 'escape'. Once Carol or Hershel caught sight of you, they would carry you back into your cell giving you the whole "you need to rest" speech that you've come to despise.

This time you had a plan.

You would wait for the perfect chance to limp your way to the exit. You only hope that you won't be spotted by your 'prison guards'.

If you weren't in such an annoying situation, being trapped in this dingy cell all the time, then you would have found humor in your predicament.

An old cop, housewife, and vet being the ones to keep you behind bars at all times. Though the cell is always open, you still feel like you're under lock and key.

As the sounds of clatter die down you slowly stand, putting just about all of your weight on the uninjured leg.

Thankfully they let you keep the crutch on account of any plumbing in the prison not working, so you had to go elsewhere to take care of business.

So, you grab it to help even out some of the weight and stand by the cell door.
Looking out you see Glenn run outside, most likely to replace whoever is on watch duty, and Carl cleaning a few guns at the table.

He was growing up faster than a kid his age should, and it unnerved you to no end. Taking your chances of getting Carl to let you pass rather than waiting for more people to come back you left the confines of your cell.

You try to be as quiet as possible, but Carl eventually takes notice and watches you make your way over to him.

"Heeeey, Carl." He looks unamused as you try to nonchalantly make your way to the exit.

"They're in there." Carl directs you toward the main living area where people cook and eat with his thumb. You didn't expect him to be so compliant, but he doesn't seem all there either.

You guess he's still going through his grieving over his mother, so you leave him be and take another course.

You can't really explain why you started to head for the small dining area instead of the exit, but you somehow had a strange pull toward the hushed whispers.

"I can't do this anymore, daddy. I don't like lyin' to her." Beth's voice is the first that you hear when you get close enough, but not enough to where you could be seen.

"We wait a few more days. That's the plan." Rick tries to assert.

"She's going to find out eventually. I say we go ahead and tell her."

This is it. I'm finally going to get the answers I've been searching for.

"No, if we tell her now she might do something stupid."

"Come on, Rick. She deserves to know why Daryl hasn't come to see her."

Your hand reaches up and clasps at your throat as a constricting sensation takes hold of you. Your entire body feels heavy, and your throat burns.

"One more day. That's all I'm asking. I'll be the one to tell her." Rick stresses before stalking out into the sun without even noticing you.

When the door slams behind him your body jumps from its mental numbness. You find yourself slowly breaking down as your crutch clatters to the floor and you hold yourself up by the wall.

"Oh no, Y/N." Carol is by your side in an instant as Beth looks on in horror. This wasn't the way it was suppose to go, and Beth had no idea how to comfort you.

You can't register anything Carol says to you as she helps you over to the nearest table. She sets you down and sits right across from you.

"Y/N, listen to me!" You blink and finally look at Carol as tears start to shimmer in your eyes.

"Daryl isn't dead."

If she didn't have your attention before, now she definitely did.

"B-but...You said..."

"I know what I said, but listen to me. He isn't dead. He's just been gone for a while, that doesn't mean that he isn't coming back."

Despite Carol's attempts to comfort you, you still can't get rid of the dread creeping into your bones. You can't believe all of this. What they were all hiding all along.

Suddenly Rick bursts back into the prison with a mixture of anger and worry spread across his face. Hershel follows behind and stands alongside him.

You realize that Beth must have run out and told them what had happened. By the looks of it Rick wasn't too happy about it either.

His expression softens as he takes in your broken form.

"Y/N. I was goin' to tell you."

On spur of the moment, your heartache twists into anger and you stand, not caring about the pain shooting through your leg.

"I can't believe this, Rick. You of all people should have known not to keep something like this from me."

"I know, and I'm..."

You don't give him a chance to apologize as you continue to let out all of your anguish.

"You should have told me as soon as I woke up! You know how I..." Your body starts to waver as you feel all of your emotion being drained again,
"You know how I feel about him, Rick."

Tears begin to run down your cheeks as you let the grief swallow you whole. You know that you can't get your hopes up just because he's a survivor.

The chances of him ever returning are slim, and you can't stake everything on it. Not when you have to stay strong for the group. You can't let worry take over you as you wait for him.

But you can let it out all at once surrounded by, what you are now proud to admit, family. Accepting the fact that he's probably never coming back is the best that you can do, but who's to say you can't cry for someone you loved.

So, as you sit there letting the tears rush out, you hold onto Carol's shirt as she cradles you in her arms while everyone else looks away in unease.