The Boy Behind a Mask

Alex has been in Essex for 5 weeks now.
It's definitely better than Baltimore, no one has questioned his sexuality once, they've only embraced it.
And, to Alex's pleasure, no one has questioned his gender.
No ones even batted an eyelid.
They just think he's normal.

He's still friends with Cassadee, Rian, Zack and Tay... And Jack... Well, Jack is difficult. Him and Alex get on some days, but others they just won't talk.
Alex just wants to know what Jack has against him.

---

'Alex, dude, are you okay?' Rian asks, putting a hand on Alex's back softly,
'Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.' He mumbles, running a hand through his hair quickly,
'Al, are you sure?' Tay asks, tilting her head and looking at him and Alex bites his lip, because, no, he's not okay. The memories will not leave his head. Flashbacks playing over and over, like a video repeating behind his eyelids, he's really not okay right now.
'Alex, come on.' Jack says, standing up,
'Where are we going?' Alex mumbles, looking up at Jack with wide eyes as his chest rises and falls, Jack grabs the elders hand and helps him up,
'You're having a panic attack, I'm gonna calm you down. Come on.' He says softly, reaching down and picking up Alex's bag before pulling the slightly shorter boy away from their friends, who are left confused, but smiling because Jack is finally letting Alex into his life.
'Why are you helping me? You've been ignoring me for the past 4 days.' Alex pants, his breathing coming out raggedly,
'Because you're having a panic attack Alexander. I'm sorry I've been a prick again, but right now you need to let me help you.' Jack sighs and Alex nods,
'I really need a hug.' He whispers and Jack automatically pulls the elder into his embrace, 'Thank you.' Alex whispers and Jack doesn't say anything, only sighs before pressing a gentle kiss to Alex's hair, 'Why are you being nice to me?' Alex sniffs, feeling his tears soak into Jack's t-shirt,
'Alex, just don't question it and let me sort you out, okay? If you want me to go back to being a dickhead to you after this, then fine, but right now you need my help.' Jack whispers,
'I don't want you to be a dickhead. I want you to be nice all the time. I want to be your friend Jack, why do you make that so difficult?' Alex chokes out, his hands gripping the back of Jack's jacket tightly,
'I'm sorry Lex.' He whispers and he feels Alex relax slightly at the nickname, 'I'm really, really sorry Lex. I'm such a prick and you don't deserve that because you're an amazing guy, Lexy. I'm gonna try and be more friendly, okay? It's just difficult for me. But I really am sorry Lex.' By now, Alex is breathing steadily, relaxed in Jack's arms, just listening to his voice,
'Thank you.' The elder whispers and Jack kisses his hair one last time,
'Come with me.' He says as he pulls away,
'Where are we going?' Alex asks as Jack gently wipes the tears off of the youngers face,
'The calm room.' He says softly before taking Alex's hand,
'Why?' Alex asks, letting Jack lead him,
'Just because.' Jack shrugs.

'Here.' Jack says as he hands Alex a sheet of paper,
'What is it?' Alex asks,
'Methods to cope with panic attacks. Do you know what starts them?' Jack asks, pushing Alex back into the chair of the empty counsellors room, or calm room as its known,
'Um, flashbacks I guess. From when I was in Baltimore. Just... Bad things happened there.' Alex sighs, reading through the sheet,
'Shit Lex... I wasn't expecting that. Okay.' Jack sighs and pulls a pamphlet off the rack, 'You might want to talk to Miss McDougall about this.' He whispers, handing Alex a pamphlet titled "PSTD, how to cope",
'I don't have post traumatic stress disorder Jack.' Alex sighs, Jack bites his lip and kneels down in front of Alex, taking the pamphlet from his hands,
'Three main symptoms. One, re-experiencing the event. Or flashbacks. You just admitted that to me. Can you tell me what happened?' He says softly,
'No. I-I don't want to talk about it, Jack.' Alex whimpers,
'Two, avoiding reminders of the trauma. Three, increased anxiety. You're shaking just thinking about it Lex.' Jack sighs,
'I'm fine. It's normal.' Alex whispers,
'Do the memories feel like they are invading you?' Alex nods slightly, 'Do you get nightmares?' Another nod, 'Does your heartbeat and breathing get faster and do you feel sick?' Jack asks and Alex nods again, 'I think you're suffering with PTSD Lex. You need to talk to Miss McDougall about this.' Jack whispers, reaching up and stroking Alex's cheek,
'Okay... I will. Okay.' Alex says shakily and Jack smiles,
'Thank you Lexy.' Jack says softly.

(A week later)

'I told Miss McDougall.' Alex says quietly as he stands next to Jack while he gets something out of his locker,
'Cool.' The younger mutters,
'Oh look, there you go again with being a prick.' Alex mumbles and Jack sighs,
'Sorry, I'm tired. How'd it go?' He whispers,
'Okay. She agrees with you.' Alex sighs,
'I'm sorry Lex. You can get through this though.' Jack says quietly, wrapping his arms around Alex's neck and hugging him tightly,
'Thank you.' Alex whispers.

---

'Since when were you in my class?' Alex asks Jack as he sits down on the bench next to him,
'I changed chemistry to PE coz I was struggling. You weren't in the changing rooms...' Jack says, looking at Alex with an eyebrow raised,
'Oh, I, um, I change in the office...' Alex stammers out, nodding his head to the PE office door,
'Oh... How come?' The younger asks,
'Just... Personal reasons. I don't really want to tell anyone.' Alex whispers,
'That's fine, sorry, I shouldn't have asked.' Jack shrugs,
'Sorry.' The elder sighs,
'No, don't be.' Jack laughs, nudging his shoulder against Alex's gently, smiling at the elder boy.

'Shit! Alex, are you okay!?' Jack gasps, running over to Alex when a a basketball hit's him full pelt in the face, Alex pulls his hands away to see blood in his palm,
'Fuck.' he whispers,
'Shit, come on. Miss, I'm gonna take him into the office and clean him up.' Jack shouts across the room and Coach Williams gives the two boys a thumbs up before blowing the whistle to stop the game so Alex and Jack can walk to the PE office safely.
'Sorry, does that hurt?' Jack whispers as he dabs at Alex's nose,
'Little bit.' The elder whispers,
'Okay, I'm sorry, I'm nearly done, hang on.' Jack says, chewing on his lip nervously, trying not to hurt the boy in front of him as he finishes wiping the blood off the elders skin, 'There, good as new. It's definitely not broken.' He says softly and Alex nods, thanking him quietly.