We Will Never Be the Same

I walked into school, seeing Justin already at my locker. “What the hell? I thought you were going to call me,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry. I forgot,”
He raised his eyebrows, waiting for me to say something. “Well?” I just nodded. Justin’s mouth fell open as I pulled my books out and then slammed it shut.
He grabbed my arm and pulled me into the nearest bathroom. I watched him look in all of the stalls before locking the door.
“You are?” he asked, gaping when I nodded again. “Are you okay?” I shook my head, tears filling my eyes.
He pulled me into his arms as I started to cry, holding me tightly. “I don’t know what to do,” I choked, and started sobbing.
Justin pet my hair gently; apparently he didn’t know either. “Maybe you should tell your mom,” I shook my head rapidly, pulling away from him to dry my eyes.
“I can’t. she can’t know,” Justin frowned at me. “She won’t get upset though. You have the most understanding mom in the world Kell. Just tell her,” I shook my head again.
“Kellin. She’ll know what to do. Besides, you can’t just not tell anyone—unless…are you gonna get an abortion?” he asked. “I don’t know. I don’t even know if it’s possible for me,” I said exasperatedly and covered my face with my hands.
I hadn’t slept all night, and this secret was eating me a live. “Kellin you have to tell your mom,” he insisted. “Why?” He made a face at me.
“Seriously? She’s your mom Kell, and she’ll know what to say to you. Besides, you don’t even know if you want to keep it. I mean, do you know how far along you are? There’s only so long of a time that you can stop it,”
I made a frustrated noise and unlocked the bathroom door before storming out. I couldn’t do this.

“Hey Kellin,” Vic said, startling me. “Hi,” my voice was colder than intended. “Um, are you okay? You look like you’ve been crying,” he said.
“Maybe I have,” He frowned at that. “What’s wrong?” I sighed and slammed my locker shut. “It’s really none of your business,” I lied and stomped off.
I had been so moody lately, and people were starting notice. I mean, how many times had I snapped at Justin lately? ~

My mom was in the kitchen, reading a magazine when I walked in. “Mom?” I squeaked nervously, my heart racing. “Hi sweetie, what’s up?”
I opened my mouth to talk and then just shook my head. “What’s the matter baby? Here, come sit,” She closed the bridal magazine and watched me with concerned eyes as I sat down across from her.
“What’s going on?” she asked. My lip started quivering as I tried to get the words out.
“Kellin?” She looked even more worried now. “I’m pregnant,” Her eyes widened and then I started crying. She pulled me into her arms, holding me as I sobbed.
“I d-don’t know what to do mom,” I cried as she pet my hair. “Shh, it’s okay,” She let me cry for a minute before letting go to look at me.
“Are you mad at me?” whimpered, tears still dripping down my cheeks. “No baby, of course I’m not mad at you,”
She used the ends of sleeves to dry my eyes and cheeks before holding my face.
“Now, take a deep breath; relax. Okay? Tell me what happened,” Her voice was gentle and completely calm. “Um,” I sat back in my stool and rubbed at my eyes too.
“Remember that party I went to?” She nodded and squeezed my knee. “Um, well…t-the boy I slept with; I could’ve sworn he used a condom, but—but we were both drunk, and I remember him getting it out, but not him putting it on,” I said breathily, still trying not to cry.
“I really thought that he did,” Mom nodded and stroked my cheek gently. “It’s okay sweetie. Have you thought about it?” I nodded silently.
“And have you decided anything?” I shook my head. “Well then, you have three options,” I sighed and crossed one leg over the other.
“Um, I don’t…I don’t want an abortion,” I said. I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle that, and even if I could, I would never go through with it.
“Well then there’s adoption,” she said next. I thought about it. I would still have to tell everyone and carry the baby, but then someone else would get to have it. Granted, a gay couple, or someone who couldn’t have a baby could, but I didn’t really want to have a baby and just give it away.
I got attached pretty easily, so I doubt I would be able to give the baby up after having it.
“You’re going to keep it,” mom said, more like a statement than a question. “How did you know?” She laughed lightly. “I’m you mom silly. I know you. You would never let yourself give birth and then hand your baby over to someone else. You would love it too much,”
I laughed too. “That’s what I was thinking…” She grinned and nodded “So, I think the next thing to do would be to tell the father,”
I shook my head quickly. “No, no, no, I can’t,” I said. There was no way I could tell Vic.
“Sweetie, you have to tell him. Eventually you’ll start to show, and I think he’ll notice. Besides, it’s his baby too. He has a right to know,”
I frowned and chewed my lip. “But I could barely tell you, so how am I supposed to tell Vic?” I asked. “That’s his name?” I nodded, not realizing I hadn’t told her that.
“Well you did tell me. That came from somewhere baby, so whatever gave you the courage to tell me, will do the same for you to tell him.”
I sighed quietly. “Justin made me tell you,” I admitted, making her laugh. “Well, he may have given you the idea, but you’re the one who told me. And I’m proud of you for that,” I smiled and then laughed.
“You’re probably the only mom who’s proud of their teenager for being pregnant,” She laughed too and kissed my cheek.
“Well I love you more than anyone,” I smiled and threw my arms around her neck.
“I love you too…thanks,” She nodded and held me tighter. “Well,” she started when we pulled away.
“I’m gonna call my client for tonight and then order some pizza while you,” she said and tapped my nose. “Go tell Vic. Then we can eat and talk all about babies,”
I laughed and nodded. “Okay,” She smiled at me and then picked up her phone.
I slid off of my stool and went up to my room to sit down. I opened my contacts, clicking on Vic’s number. ~