Status: I hope I did well.
iNsAnITY
iNsAnITY
My lock shook in my hand. Everyone was moving around me, eager to go home. The only thing I registered however was the voice. It was her again. This wasn’t the time for her! Not while there was still people around! I focused my attention on shutting my locker and making my way to the washroom. Nobody could see, nobody could see! Most students had finally left the building and I was alone in the third floor washroom. The mirror urged me to look up. There she was, staring back at me with condescending eyes.
“Hello myself.”
“Hello myself.” I replied disdainfully.
“Have we met before?” She asked snidely. I didn’t want to fuel her with a response. She smirked. “Goodbye yourself.”
“Goodbye yourself.” That was it. I smashed my fist against the mirror, only managing to crack it, then proceeded to storm out of the washroom. Everyone was gone. No one would get hurt. I could deal with this myself. Her voice got louder, to the point where it was more prominent than my own thoughts. My legs collapsed beneath me. My hands flung to my head.
“Alison?” There was someone here. He was looking at me. No, no, NO! Not now, not now!
“Go away! You can’t be here!” I shook my head viciously. He tried to come to my side, but I wouldn’t have it. With effort, I stood up, mumbling warnings. She was still talking, and I was down on the ground again.
“Alison! What’s happening!” There was a panic in his voice; a panic I had been trying to avoid. Once again, he raced to my side and this time I wasn’t going anywhere.
“Please go away…” No one could get involved, no one could get involved! Her voice was overpowering. Soon, she took control of my voice and my body. I was pushed back, no longer able to do anything to stop her.
“Why do you care about me (her)?” No, no, no! I had to go back, I had to go back! “I’m (she’s) nothing but a burden.” That wasn’t me! He was dumbfounded.
“Alison?” Surely he would know the difference. This pessimistic me wasn’t me! She was the person I was hiding from the world. “Alison that’s not…” That’s not what? True? You? Sane?
“You can’t tell me that I (she) don’t bother you.” She spoke some truth. There was no doubt that people didn’t like me and that I bothered them just by trying to make some idle chat. My friends though, they cared. Didn’t they? “When I (she) message you, it must be an annoyance.” I couldn’t believe her though. Belief gave her the ability to plant those horrible seeds into other people’s thoughts.
“I’ve told you before that I don’t mind your messages! Why are you acting like this now!?” He thought that I was crazy. He would never speak with me again after this. She was ruining everything! I had to stop her now! Positive thoughts, positive thoughts!
“Don’t listen to me (her)!” I pushed back, getting a few words out. She didn’t try to stop me. She had done enough. When I was alone once more, she would start talking again. Putting those dreadful thoughts, those petty worries, back into my head. Without anyone to pull me back, I’m not sure I’d be able to keep holding her off. I couldn’t bring anyone into this mess though. My life was dependent on me alone. He had backed away from me, and I didn’t blame him. He had seen her, the one thing I hid behind my smile.
“Alison?” He questioned, blinking. There was no more to say. I got up from the floor, and started to walk away on shaking feet. “Alison, what was that?” I paused at the top of the stairs.
“Don’t worry about it.” I replied grimly, taking a step down. “I deal with this every day.”
“Hello myself.”
“Hello myself.” I replied disdainfully.
“Have we met before?” She asked snidely. I didn’t want to fuel her with a response. She smirked. “Goodbye yourself.”
“Goodbye yourself.” That was it. I smashed my fist against the mirror, only managing to crack it, then proceeded to storm out of the washroom. Everyone was gone. No one would get hurt. I could deal with this myself. Her voice got louder, to the point where it was more prominent than my own thoughts. My legs collapsed beneath me. My hands flung to my head.
“Alison?” There was someone here. He was looking at me. No, no, NO! Not now, not now!
“Go away! You can’t be here!” I shook my head viciously. He tried to come to my side, but I wouldn’t have it. With effort, I stood up, mumbling warnings. She was still talking, and I was down on the ground again.
“Alison! What’s happening!” There was a panic in his voice; a panic I had been trying to avoid. Once again, he raced to my side and this time I wasn’t going anywhere.
“Please go away…” No one could get involved, no one could get involved! Her voice was overpowering. Soon, she took control of my voice and my body. I was pushed back, no longer able to do anything to stop her.
“Why do you care about me (her)?” No, no, no! I had to go back, I had to go back! “I’m (she’s) nothing but a burden.” That wasn’t me! He was dumbfounded.
“Alison?” Surely he would know the difference. This pessimistic me wasn’t me! She was the person I was hiding from the world. “Alison that’s not…” That’s not what? True? You? Sane?
“You can’t tell me that I (she) don’t bother you.” She spoke some truth. There was no doubt that people didn’t like me and that I bothered them just by trying to make some idle chat. My friends though, they cared. Didn’t they? “When I (she) message you, it must be an annoyance.” I couldn’t believe her though. Belief gave her the ability to plant those horrible seeds into other people’s thoughts.
“I’ve told you before that I don’t mind your messages! Why are you acting like this now!?” He thought that I was crazy. He would never speak with me again after this. She was ruining everything! I had to stop her now! Positive thoughts, positive thoughts!
“Don’t listen to me (her)!” I pushed back, getting a few words out. She didn’t try to stop me. She had done enough. When I was alone once more, she would start talking again. Putting those dreadful thoughts, those petty worries, back into my head. Without anyone to pull me back, I’m not sure I’d be able to keep holding her off. I couldn’t bring anyone into this mess though. My life was dependent on me alone. He had backed away from me, and I didn’t blame him. He had seen her, the one thing I hid behind my smile.
“Alison?” He questioned, blinking. There was no more to say. I got up from the floor, and started to walk away on shaking feet. “Alison, what was that?” I paused at the top of the stairs.
“Don’t worry about it.” I replied grimly, taking a step down. “I deal with this every day.”