Manage to Fall

I had known Dylan O’Brien since I was seven years old. We rode the public school bus together. We lived close together. All of this lead to our friendship. Of course, in our preteen years we drifted slightly apart which lead to me befriending a girl name Gwen Parcy.

So, technically I have two best friends. But, Dylan is my person. My actual soul mate.

I am in deep and I have no control over my emotions. So, what does a teenager do? I ignore it, shy it away and never ever bring it up.

It has worked for four years.

I stared absently ahead as I was consumed by my longing thoughts.

"Kansas"

I narrowed my gaze to meet brown orbs. I cocked my head and nodded.

Dylan laughed “Want to grab a bite?” He nudged me.

We sat on the bleachers, our knees almost touching. I nodded “Sounds amazing” I stood stretching my limbs. I peered behind and smiled at him.

Dylan stood, towering over me. I began to step down the bleachers. Dylan’s hands slammed down on my shoulder causing me to wobble, I squealed leaning against him.

"Dylan" I huffed.

Dylan snickered and grabbed my hand pulling me toward his car. I slid in already glancing. Dylan started the ignition and pulled out as the tires screeched in process.

The California sun warmed my cheeks as the car eased down the roads. “What are we doing tonight”

I raised my lips and turned toward him “Movie?”

"Your house? I can stay over" Dylan suggested.

I nodded stupidly happy. My mother, Helen wouldn’t mind, she loves the idea of Dylan; loves him more than me- sometimes.

Dylan pulled into a lot and I stepped out and waited on the curb. Dylan dropped an arm around my shoulder and walked me into the entrance of our usual hang out. The Spot it was a Ma&Pa owned diner and it was our spot. Ironically.

Dylan slid in a booth and I sat across.

"Can’t believe we are graduating" Dylan sighed.

I pressed my lips together nodding. “Ah yes, and then college life”

Dylan expression hardened at the mention. “For you” He muttered

My shoulders sagged. I rolled my eyes. “You can come. I can sneak you into my dorm” I forced a weak smile. Dylan wasn’t going to college and I was ..

"Stanford"

I peered at him sharply and I bit my lip. “Don’t use that tone” I winced

Dylan rolled his eyes “Be a little Braggy”

I scrunched my nose. “You sound like mom” I grimaced.

"I’m a little bitter" Dylan laughed "I’m loosing my best friend"

My throat became tight and in this moment I could throw it all away and go to the community college with him, two years from now .. That is.

I exhaled and shifted my gaze away. The waitress appeared and I was more than happy to shift this conversation elsewhere.

She smiled and immediately met Dylan’s brown big eyes. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “What can I get you?”

"I’ll have a burger" I said causing her to shift her gaze to me.

"Me too" Dylan nodded "And two cokes" he added.

We handed the menus back and the bubbly cute waitress turned on her heel. I finally shifted my gaze back to Dylan.

"I’m going to miss you more than anything, you know" I whispered.

Dylan’s mouth twitched. He simply nodded.

I hesitantly grabbed his hand and began to trace his open palm. Dylan smiled peering down.

I traced all things- I did this sort of act since I was little and he would have to guess the letter or thing. It became a routine for us.
It was comforting.

"A star" Dylan said "A heart" he went on "A square" he scoffed. I grinned slightly peering at him.
I began to trace letters

"I" Dylan said "- You’re going to trace I love you" he clenched his palm. I peered up smirking.

"No" I frowned "I was going to trace I hate you"

Dylan laughed “You’re the worst” he sighed.

"I hate you very very much" I sang as I was handed my meal. I sipped the drink peering at him.

"I hate you more" Dylan murmured back.

And it was our twisted way in telling one another we loved each other.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I unlocked my front door to a empty home. “Mom?” I called. “She’s still at work” I muttered. Dylan carried the bag of junk food and a movie rental. We walked upstairs to my room.
I walked into my bathroom to change . I peeked at the mirror to witness my reflection. I stared for a moment and took in all the features that belonged to me.

The long brown hair; the hazel eyes; the small nose; the freckles dotting my cheeks lightly; the round cheeks; lips that were shaped as a heart; a petite body.

So I stared and wondered if I was beautiful. I have been called beautiful in my life but I never felt the need to latch on to that and run with it. Allow it to boost my ego.

It was a opinion nothing more.

I emerged to see Dylan settled on my bed. He gazed up with a twizzler in his mouth. I smiled curling up next to him.

Dylan rested his head on my shoulder and I felt my heart become heavy with love. I peered up toward the ceiling asking the higher power why did this happen to me.

Dylan shifted once more but glanced at me in the process. I smiled flickering my gaze to the television. I munched on M&M’s.

"So it’s going to be the sister that has been killing all these people and the brother isn’t going to kill her" Dylan guessed.

I nodded smiling “She’s going to kill her brother” .

"Would you kill me? I mean if I was murdering everyone" Dylan wondered.

I scoffed “Hell yeah”

Dylan laughed “Wow” he patted his chest. “That hurt”

I laughed peering at the television. Dylan abruptly began to lean toward me “He’s going to kill her” he screamed. I nudged him Laughing hysterically.

"This movie is stupid" He pulled at me.

"You picked it out" I reminded.

Dylan winced and abruptly grabbed me. “No, Dylan, I -” I giggled. He balanced me on his knees. He had a thing for doing this and making hideous faces causing me to laugh.

This resulted in braking my arm when I was seven.

I fell on top of him laughing softly. I pressed my cheek to his chest and noticed his heart beating fast. Dylan hands roamed through my hair. I closed my eyes at the comfort.

Dylan hummed and it was the only thing I was aware of.

Until the door flew open and Gwen stepped in. “Hey”

I groaned and rolled off Dylan. He didn’t move just peered up at the ceiling. Gwen peeked at me with a curve mouth. She adjusted her blonde hair and her blue eyes met mine “There’s a party” she announced.

"Where?" Dylan wondered still not peering away. I gazed at him closely.

"My house" She confirmed. I peered bewildered at her. "My parents left for the weekend".

Dylan sat up and rubbed his cheek. “That sounds..” He glanced at me and I shrugged “good”

"I called everyone" She said.

I inwardly winced from knowing everyone to her is her cheer team and football team and all things .. Prep. Dylan peered at me making a sour expression. “I’ll call a few people” he said.

I watched him walk out of the room. Gwen slid next me and peered at me. “It doesn't surprise me anymore. You two are to close. You guys should be dating” she whispered harshly.

"He’s my best friend" I was getting use to that line. "It wouldn't work" I added.

Gwen squeezed my hand and pulled me to a hug. “Alcohol can help you”

I nodded. Dylan stepped in the room and glanced at the two of us. He peered at me questionably. Gwen pulled away “Be at my house in twenty” She peered at me sharply. I nodded giving her a thumbs up.

She swayed out of the room. Dylan approached me. He seemed almost tired I frowned. “You okay-?”

Dylan threw me against my bed. I laughed throwing my head back. He pressed against my knees. “We never tried this-”

I widen my eyes to know what he was attempting to do. “No Dylan-”

Dylan balanced on knees laughing like a maniac. I giggled as our hands twined together. I tried desperately to balance him. “Make a funny face” Dylan demanded.

I obeyed wordlessly. Dylan clenched his jaw to keep from laughing. I squeezed our hands. His body shook from wanting to laugh. I swayed our hands wanting him to fall.

"When you land on me you’re going to crush-"

Dylan’s body landed on mine and I gasped feeling the impact. I laughed as his laughter filled my ear. Our hands were still twined and-

"Your heart is beating fast" Dylan informed.

"I’m laughing" I murmured.

Dylan took a deep breathe and propped himself up. I gazed gently at him. “You sure you wanna go?”

I shrugged “Whatever you wanna do” I said.

Dylan eyes narrowed “I wanna get sloppy drunk”

"Okay" I laughed.

"You’ll take care of me?" Dylan asked.

"I always do" I replied patting his head.

"What would I do without you" Dylan sighed sitting up.

I inwardly grimaced to know he’s going to be without me. I peered away heading toward the bathroom.

"Don’t change. You look beautiful" Dylan called.

I peered back to glare at him. “I’m in my pajamas”

I shut the door and rested my head against the frame.

Dylan called me beautiful.

He’s never done that.

•••••••••••••••••••••••

We arrived twenty three minutes later. We entered the gate and I always grimaced at Gwen’s multi million dollar house. It was to much LA

Dylan squeezed my shoulder before disappearing through the crowd. I walked toward the back and found Gwen in a marvelous bikini. She lifted her shades and smiled at me

"It’s night" I told her.

She laughed at my lame joke and handed me her drink. “Where is your plus one?” She asked.

I sipped her drink and realized with a shudder that is was all vodka. “He’s probably hanging out with her”

Gwen sighed. “Gracie Howard’s” she glanced “Who the fuck calls her Gracie anyway? It’s not the first grade”

I choked on my drink and sputter a laugh. “Cmon” I smirked completely pleased.

"They aren't a couple" Gwen stated and I agreed by nodding "But she clings to him whenever there is a bass and beer"

"Dylan told me she kinda likes him" I slipped. I bit my tongue.

Gwen covered her mouth. “He doesn't like her?” And she began to snicker.

"I have no idea" I said.

"Look" She titled her head

I peered across the pool and seen Gracie and Dylan sitting on a chair; she was on his lap. Guys surrounded them. Dylan chugged a red solo cup and looked completely relaxed.

I snapped my gaze to Gwen. “He’s not touching her” She noted.

I shrugged and disappeared for a moment to get a refill. I came back to find Gwen sitting at the edge of the pool.

I sat, slipping off my shoes. “Oh, is she serious?”

Gwen and I watched as Gracie took off her top and dipped into the pool. The guys follow except for one.

Dylan stood holding his cup and met my gaze. A smile spread to his lips.
He placed the cup down and took off his shirt.
He dived in and swam until his head popped up at my feet.

"Hey" I said laughing.

Dylan smiled showing off his teeth. I gazed at his wet sloppy hair and cocked my head. “Come swim with me”

"Aren’t you a little busy?" Gwen asked drinking.

Dylan ignored her completely and peered at me.
I shook my head -

Dylan pulled my hand causing me to completely fall into the pool. I swam up glaring at me. Dylan circled around wearing a goofy smile on his lips.

"Dylan" I splashed him.

Dylan pulled at me. His arm wrapped around my waist and began to swim us around in a circle.
I dipped my hair back and I shifted my gaze to the stars.

"You’re so-"

"Dylan"

I peeked up and I felt his hand disappear. Gracie called from across the water. Dylan nodded and turned toward me.

"I’m staying over" he reminded

"I know" I said.

"I’ll see you later"

Dylan smiled that smile and swam toward the girl.

I left the pool then; I had no reason to be there.

It was hard loving someone that didn't love you in the way you wanted.

It was always hard

Being in love sucked. Don’t ever fall in love