Starting Over

14. Missing the Stars

(Regular POV)

The Bruins won 4-3 in a shootout. Nicole was brooding in her stall as the guys dressed to leave. She had been the last of the shooters – Johnny and Kaner had scored along with all three Bruins players – if she had scored then they would have moved to another round in the shootout; but she hadn’t. Her shot had been stopped by Tuukka. They had lost because of her.

A body sank to the bench next to her, “Don’t beat yourself up too much kid. We’ll get them next time.”
Nicole looked up, meeting Sharpie’s smiling face, “It’s my fault we lost.”

Patrick watched as the younger players started shoving random items into her bag, “Don’t do that, Killer. It’s a team loss; not a personal one.”

“Yeah,” Nicole started as she zipped her bag, “But if I had been better, faster, we wouldn’t have been in the shootout to begin with.”

Nicole was referring to a moment in the game where one of the rookie Bruin players had a break away; he had out skated Nicole and ultimately scored on Crawford.

“Nic….”
“Save it Sharpie. We lost and it’s on me,” Nicole gave her teammate an icy stare before leaving the room.

Walking down the hall, Nicole tried to space herself away from the other players. She needed time to cool off before she said something stupid; but luck was not with her. Footsteps raced down the hall, quickly catching up to her retreating form.

“Nic! Wait up!” Jonathan called out as Nicole reached the exit.
Nicole let out an audible sigh, “What do you want Johnny?”

“Ouch, that’s kinda cold. Just seeing if you were okay. You were kind of……Rude? To Sharpie,” Jonathan scratched his head, unsure of what to say.

“No…..I’m not okay. I’m pissed,” Nicole walked out the door.
Johnny followed her, “Well, let’s go get some food. That always helps.”

“I’d rather be alone,” Nicole rummaged through her bag, searching for keys to Johnny’s SUV; she see Johnny’s reflection in the window, “What?”

“I know a place…..one you might be looking for. It’s quiet and secluded and none of the guys know about it but me. I could show you,” Johnny’s dark eyes were full of hope as Nicole thought the proposition over.

“Okay.”

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(Johnny’s POV)

The ride was quiet except for the radio playing softly in the background. There had been very few times that I’ve been with Nicole and the silence was uncomfortable – this was one of those times.
Thirty minutes outside of the city, I pulled onto a dirt road. I drove for another ten minutes before turning onto a single car lane – if you blink, you would miss it.

Reaching a clearing, I turned the truck around to face the way we had entered then shut the vehicle off.

Nicole gave me a quizzical look, “Is this where you kill me and dump the body.”
“Yeah,” I deadpan, “It’ll be easier if you don’t struggle or scream.”

Nicole cracks a smile, the first since warmups, “Came on, I think you will appreciate the view,” I say, climbing out of the truck.

I grab a couple of blankets from the back seat and walk around to the tailgate, “Ladies first,” I say, offering my hand.

Nicole shakes her head but accepts the assistance. I climb in the bed after her and lay the first one on the bed floor and lay down.

Nicole just looks at me so a pat the spot next to me,” It works better if you lay down.”

“Are you trying to seduce me?” Nicole says, referencing the movie A Walk to Remember – she had conned several of us into watching it at the last gathering and I had actually enjoyed it – not that I would ever admit that out loud.

I give her a cheeky grin, “That depends….Are you seducible?”

Nicole gives a genuine laugh and shakes her head but lowers herself next to me.

“Oh wow!” her soft exclamation lets me know that this was a good idea.

The moon was full and the sky was filled with hundreds of stars – all shining brightly. With no heavy light pollution from the city, you could see a few different constellations. It was truly beautiful, and I hoped Nicole would like it.

“What do you think?” I turned my head to face Nicole; the pale light casting a silver glow on her olive skin.

Nicole looked at me, “It’s beautiful, Jonathan.”

A flush heated my skin when she said my name – it happened nearly every time. A glimmer on her cheek caught my attention. I reached over and gently swiped my finger across her cheek, it was a tear.

“What’s wrong Nicole?” my voice was full of concern.
“Nothing,” Nicole wiped her other cheek quickly.

I sat up, leaning closer to her,” Talk to me,” I gently prompted.

“I don’t know,” Nicole sits up,” I mean….I played like crap tonight and I just feel like I let you guys down. And then I was a bitch to Sharpie, who was only trying to help. I just feel so out of sync tonight and I don’t know why.”

Nicole pauses and I can see her wheels still turning so I wait, “Then you bring me here; to this beautiful place and for a moment I feel like I’m back home. I didn’t realize how much I missed the stars,” Nicole gives a small laugh as she swipes some more stray tears away.

I gently pull her onto my lap, cradling her against me and kiss the top of her head.

“First, you did not play like crap. You had a good game. Second, there is no way you can let the team down. We all love you; we win together and we lose together – that’s how a team works. You can always apologize to Sharpie, but I promise he is not mad at you – he understands where you were coming from."

"And if you feel out of sync then we can work on that together; because if you felt out of it I bet your partner did too, and that’s a team problem. Anytime you feel lost or homesick let me know. I’ll bring you out here as much as you want,” I place another gentle kiss on her head and I feel her relax into me.

“I love you guys too…..you know, you’re pretty good at this Captain thing,” Nicole leans away from me and meets my gaze with a smile.