Starting Over

8. Friend Zone

(Nicole’s POV)

“Can I come in?” Jordan’s crystal eyes search my face as I continue to block the door.
“What are you doing here Jordan?” I still can’t believe that he’s standing in front of me.

Jordan looks around nervously before pleading softly, “Please Nicole, let me in. I….I need to talk to you….please.”

I stepped aside to let the larger man pass. Taking five steps into the entry, Jordan stopped and looked back at me with a question in his irises.

“No one is home but me. Pascal and Carol-Lynn took the kids out….so whatever you wanted to say you can say honestly,” I tell him before passing him and taking my seat on the couch again.

Jordan sat on the opposite end of the couch. I watched as he played with his phone; the man was clearly nervous.

“What is it Jordan? Why did you come here?”
Jordan looked up, meeting my gaze, “I wanted to apologize for how everything happened last season. I should have never made a move on you and I’m sorry that I ruined your and Sid’s relationship.”

I sighed, “Jordy, you’re not completely to blame on messing up Sidney and me. Even though I don’t know why you kissed me; I did kiss you back; and the next day I started it. So… I appreciate the apology, but you are not to blame, okay?”

Jordan’s gaze met mine, “I kissed you because I fell for you; I LOVE you; I figured that was obvious,” He let out a small laugh and stood up, pacing the room, “I guess not.”

I stood also, “That’s not what I meant,” He stopped and looked at me; I took a step toward him, “People don’t kiss people, SOBER, if they don’t have feelings. Don’t you DARE belittle me!”

We stood toe to toe, Jordan was staring down at me – his blue irises boring into my dark ones. The world faded as his face softened, his hand brushing my face. I shuddered at the roughness and pulled away.

Jordan’s eyes hardened,” My feelings haven’t changed. I’m still in love with you.”
“I think you should leave, Jordy,” I stepped further away, moving to the other side of the couch.
Jordan looked at me, “Is there…..is there someone else?”

I didn’t know how to answer him. Truthfully there wasn’t – I mean, I think Johnny likes me and maybe Shawzie too, but neither had tried anything and I wasn’t looking really. But if I said no, Jordan would try something – I could feel it. So I lied.

“Yes.”

I watched as a single tear rolled down Jordan’s chiseled features. He turned and walked out the door – never turning.

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(Jordan’s POV)

I knew Nicole was in town. I knew most of the guys had already seen her. What I didn’t know, was if she wanted to see me. So I just showed up. I intruded into her life once again; and once again she shoved me away. The worse part, other than the broken heart, she saw me cry.

I couldn’t move fast enough when that single word left her lips. It felt like someone had ripped my heart from my chest and smashed it into a million pieces. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t even see clearly because of the tears rushing down my face. I, a grown man, had been reduced to a blubbering mess by a woman half my size.

So I went to the only place that made since – the rink.

I must have been out on the ice for hours before someone appeared on the bench. I had been taking shots but stopped a while ago. Now I was just gliding.

The figure made a noise to pull me from my thoughts. I looked up to see Tanger staring at me. I skate over.

“We have been trying to find you, mon ami. How long have you been here?” Tanger tilts his head to look at the mess of pucks on the ice.

“A while,” I shrug not really sure of the hour.
“So you went and saw Nicole,” it was a statement not a question, so I didn’t bother to answer, just moved past him to the locker room.

Kris stayed silent as I took my skates off, I looked at him, “How did you know?”
“She called me,” Tanger’s answer didn’t surprise me.
“Of course she did,” I grumbled.

“She cares for you,” this guy didn’t know when to stop today.
I give him a hard look, “No she doesn’t.”

“She does,” Kris cuts me off, “Just not how you want her too,” I stay silent so he continues, “Nicole loves you as a brother, always has; and you will always be her brother and could be in her life. But you have to accept your role, Jordan. A romantic relationship would not work between you two.”

“How do you know that?” I question; I can feel anger starting to rise from the pit of my stomach.

Kris doesn’t flinch at my tone, “Because you are too similar. She did not choose you and will not. You need to grow up and accept that Jordan, or you will lose her forever.”

Kris turned and left without another word. I sank into my stall and for the second time that day – I cried over a woman who could not love me as I wanted.

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(Nicole’s POV)

I sat with Pascal and Carol-Lynn, they had arrived home shortly after Jordan left, and waiting on a message that said that someone had found the distraught man. It had been several hours since Jordan had left and I was getting more worried as the time past. Pascal had been angry about Jordan showing up without warning but stayed quiet as I retold the events and assured him that nothing happened.

Finally my phone chimed.

TANGER>> found him. He was at the rink but will be leaving soon. Had a talk with him and he should be good now.

I let out a sigh of relief as I read the message out loud to the couple sitting across from me. Carol-Lynn retreated to bed shortly after; leaving Duper and me alone.

“It is for the best, mon fille.”
“I know, I just hate hurting him, Duper. Jordy is a good guy. He deserves a good woman,” I say as the older man stares at me.

“He will find one in his own time. Just like you will find your one in time,” Duper stood and walked around the island, “You cannot rush love, my girl. It will find you when you are ready and hit you like a ton of bricks; but it is so worth the feeling,” Duper’s eyes drifted to the framed photos of his family before looking back at me.

He gives me a smile, kisses my forehead like he does with his kids, and goes to bed.

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(Nicole’s POV Friday)
I wake without a mass laying on me. I stayed awake longer than I wanted the previous night thinking about what Pascal had said. His advice had sealed the decision I had been mulling over – all I needed now was a car.

I dressed and made my way down the stairs to find Duper. What I found instead was another note and a set of car keys on the kitchen counter.

Nicole – thought you might need these today. Don’t damage it – Pascal

I smiled and slipped out the door. Duper had left his favorite car for me to drive – a Mercedes AMG Roadster. Solid black exterior, black leather interior and titanium accents – this baby was sexy and fast. The engine purred under the hood and handled like a dream.

I sent a quick text off before backing out of the driveway and heading to my next destination.

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(Sidney’s POV)

I rolled over as my phone sounded. It was 9:45 - a late morning for me by normal standards – but I had been awake all night after messaging Nicole. She never text me back, so when 3a.m. came around I surrendered and went to bed.

I checked the message and shot straight up.

NICOLE>> I’ll be at your house at 10.

I checked the clock and saw that I had fifteen minutes. Struggling to untangle myself from the covers, I raced through my morning routine forgoing a shower, I didn’t have time.

I had just pulled a pair of shorts on when I heard a faint knock on the front door. Taking the steps two at a time I walked through the house with Sam at my heels.

Opening the door, I finally saw her. Nic was slimmer than the last time I had seen her, she had more muscle and by the tan, had spent a lot of time outside over the summer – truly she was as breathe taking as ever.

“Hey, Sid,” Nicole gave me a small smile as she stared up at me with her dark eyes.
“Hi,” is all I manage as I step aside and let her in out of the heat.

Nicole walks forward but stops and turns to look at me. I have to remind myself how to move and walk past her toward the kitchen.

“Would you like anything?” I motion toward the fridge before opening it and removing a drink for myself.
“Water’s fine,” Nicole says as she takes a seat at the bar.

I grab the water and place it in front of her. Nic studies me for a moment, I scratch the back of my neck, a nervous habit.

“I woke you up, didn’t I?” Nicole’s eyes trace my face.
I feel my ears heat up, “Yeah, it’s okay though.”
Nic gives a small laugh, “You were the one asking to talk.”
“I thought you would have answered last night,” I say, placing my drink next to hers and sitting on the other stool.

Now it’s her turn to blush, “I had kind of a rough night.”
I instantly become alert, “What happened?”

“Jordan came by Dupers. He wanted to talk too,” Anger flashes through me, “Nothing happened. We talked and then I told him to leave,” Nicole says it like it’s no big deal but I can tell she’s upset.
“What did he do?” I ask, I know I’m prying but I need to know.

Nicole shrugs, “He asked if there was someone else. I think he thought that I would give him a chance, you know; but I don’t see him like that.”

“Are you sure,” my stomach tightens at the thought of those two being together.

“Yeah, I’ve had all summer to think about it and I know that the only way he would be in my life would be as a friend,” Nicole’s eyes never leave mine as she says this.

The next question escapes before I can stop it, “Is there someone?”

Nicole looks down at the bottle before looking back up, “I don’t know, maybe, but he hasn’t tried anything so I really can’t answer that one.”

“What about us?” I ask quietly – I had been wanting to ask and had planned to, but not this early.

Nicole bites her lip, “If you’re willing, I think we can be friends. I mean, I would like for us too. We we’re before….” Her words trail off but I don’t need her to continue – I know what she was implying.

I think her offer over for several moments. I know that we couldn’t go back to how things were – Nicole was in another city, one that we didn’t play that often – so a long distance anything was out. But I wanted her in my life, and I wanted to be a part of hers.

I can feel her eyes boring into me, wondering what I was thinking, “I think….” I start seriously, “That I want you in my life,” I see a faint smile appear, “And that I can deal with being just friends again.”

Nicole lets out a squeal and jumps up, giving me a hug that catches us both off guard.

“Sorry!” she exclaims jumping back and nearly nocking the chair over.

“It’s okay, Nic,” I say laughing at her clumsiness, “Maybe we should take the hugging slow though,” I give her a pointed look. She gives me a sheepish grin but agrees.

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(Nicole’s POV)

I spent the rest of the day at Sidney’s house. We watched movies, ate a lot of junk, and caught up about things over the summer.

Apparently I had missed one hell of a going away party for Max – which I felt bad about. Flower and Vero had it at their place – a pool, a ton of food, and plenty of beer for all. Max had made a drunken toast to the boys before falling into the pool. Sid said he was pushed but the accused refuses to fess up (Tanger).

It was getting late by the time I decided to leave. Sidney walked me out to the car.

“I can’t believe Duper let you take his baby,” Sidney said as he placed a hand on the door, blocking me from getting in.

“He loves me,” I say looking at the car.
“Yeah, a lot of us do,” the words slip out and silence follows.

“Sid….”
“Nic I…..”

We say at the same time and stop. I motion for him to continue.

“I really do want to give this friendship thing a chance, but we have to acknowledge that awkward moments will happen. There’s no way around it,” he runs a hand down the door frame but continues to stare at me.

“You’re right,” I say, “And we will deal with them when it happens.”

Sidney gives me a smile and pulls me in for a gentle hug, “Good. You mean a lot to me Nic. Stay in touch, take care of yourself, and go easy on Johnny. He’s a good guy.”

I look up at my old captain, “How do you……”

He gives me a smug smile, “I have my ways. Now go, before Duper sends a search party after you.”