Hack

He swore his heart stopped for that second and he swore that she felt it stop.

He always felt invincible with Arianna in his arms. She made him feel strong and safe, tucked away from the outside world.

Here she was bringing that ugly, outside world into their space.

“They looked good,” She half-mocked, “I mean you’re body is amazing, but I would have at least put a filter on it.”

He couldn’t tell if she was sincere or mocking him. If she was hurting or joking with him. He could feel the muscles in face bunch and tauten in what felt like a smile.

“I never needed to send you nudes to keep you interested.” That was the best he could do at the moment.

“So you’re saying I’m easy,” her breath hot against his skin. Her teasing voice, now wavering.

“No,” He said quickly. He reached for her chin, wanting to look into her honey-colored eyes.

She stiffened, flinched at his touch, but didn’t move away from him, letting him tilt her face up to his, eyes closed.

“Open your eyes,” he urged. He wanted to see her kaleidoscope eyes. He told her once, he could see the rainbow in her eyes. A dark ring of chestnut that faded into a warm, golden based that surrounded a starburst of green around the pupil.

“No,” she whispered hoarsely. She remembered his words. I love your sleepy voice.

He let go, letting her rest her head on his chest again, over his heart.

“I meant that I didn’t need to sell you my body to make you stay with me.”

“So you were desperate for her.” She could feel his heart thumping. It felt like every beat was speaking her name, whispering it into Arianna’s ear. Zah-ra. Zah-ra. Zah-ra. “You wanted her. You needed her. So you sent her those pictures to keep her interested. To make her want you. To make her need you.” Her throat tightening as she tried to keep her voice even and her heart in check as she tried to keep it still, keep it from beating his name. Col-by. Col-by. Col-by.

“Yes.”

Silence. The only sound filling the room was the sound of their traitorous beating hearts.

“I don’t know why you’re upset,” his tone unreadable. “We’re in an open relationship.”

“I didn’t realize it would be like this,” She suddenly felt like a child. Blissfully ignorant.

“You knew what it meant.”

“Of course,” she whispered, her voice leaving her. All she could hear was her name and his. Zah-ra. Col-by. Zah-ra. Col-by. “Of course I knew.” But, she knew what a lot of things meant, but she never realized the realities of them.

“Then why are you upset?”

“We-” she stopped, her voice cracking, “We always had the option of seeing other people, but- but I never realize we were actually utilizing that option.” She had been faithful to him. How could she be anything but, when he came to her every night, filling her with promises and proclamations. False promises and empty proclamations.

“You didn’t seem that upset, when you got that dick pic on Tinder,” Seth accused. “Why didn’t you delete your Tinder? If you thought we were somehow ‘exclusive’, shouldn’t you have deleted the app or at least not complemented some guy’s dick.”

She winced at his crass words. “It’s not that I think it’s wrong what you did, necessarily. But it’s the fact that everyone saw-”

“I covered it with management. They’re not going to invoke the morality clause,” He interrupted. He felt her stiffen against him, he felt her frown, he felt her begin to shake. He wanted to hold her, put his arms around her, but he couldn't. He didn't want to know what it felt like to have her shrink away from him.

“If you’re showing everyone your dick, then it’s not exactly like us, what we do together, was or is anything special, right?”

He swallowed. Being with her was special. But she didn’t have any claim over him. He wasn’t anybody’s but his self's. “Special? Jesus, Ari, what are you twelve? There’s nothing special about any of it.” The second the words spilled out of his mouth, he regretted it.

“Right,” She sighed, trying to exhale the pain, the ache that felt like a dull burn in her chest. “Right, because God knows how many other girls have already been here before you put your hands on me, right? You had threesomes and groupies and divas. You have your pick of the litter.”

“I-”

“I misunderstood.” She finished, her voice tight.

He felt her tears roll onto his skin, carving winding paths into his flesh, burning him as he could do nothing but lay there, on his back, as her careful control disintegrated into a silent storm that left her trembling against him.