Phone Call
1/1
It was a cold morning and Vic Fuentes was less than happy.
The night previous was a rough one, the heating had died out the and luckily there was a guy working late who could come and fix it but I wouldn't kick in for another 24 hours, meaning he wouldn't be able to feel the abnormal warmth throughout his house until 10pm the following night. It sucked, yeah, but he didn't realize he would be able to sleep due to being far too cold. If he wasn't alone, however, he was sure he wouldn't be feeling quite so depressed about the whole situation.
Kellin had moved away about two years ago now and maybe that was why he was feeling a little rough. It wasn't as if he didn't still speak to him, it was just his presents he missed. Being embraced by the cute little boy that he called his was hard on both of them, Kellin often cried down the phone at how much he missed him but there was absolutely no way either of them could be together right now. It sucked but Vic couldn't leave this place, he had too much to stay for and yeah, most people would give up everything for the one they loved but this was different. It was a huge step to take and Vic wasn't sure he was ready for such a change quite yet.
Regardless, they still spoke everyday at precisely 9am and 9pm. It was a ritual they had stuck by ever since the change and it worked, for them at least. Though sometimes Vic wished Kellin had a way of getting Skype so they could speak face to face but it seems as though he was maybe pushing his luck. He just missed him, that was all.
The clock stuck 8:55am and Vic was currently bundled under 3 blankets and a few layered hoodies. The snow had yet to grace his beautiful Michigan home but it was definitely close, considering the temperature. If Kellin was here they'd be out in it by now, making a snowman and have stupid little snowball fights against the neighbourhood kids because, after all, when Kellin still lived here they were only kids themselves. At 20 they already had this house from Vic inheritance and we're happily domesticated. Their relationship was perfect, four years strong and happier than ever.. but then Kellin had to go and it left a small hole in Vic's heart. He missed him, little things like snow and blankets made Vic crave his boyfriends touch more than anything. If only he didn't have to leave to be with his Grandparents, Kellin would still be in this house instead of a crackled voice on the telephone.
Speaking of which, almost exactly as the clock stuck 9, his phone was ringing. Shakily, he pulled his hands out of their warmth and picked up the phone
"Hello?"
"Victor!" A small, angelic voice sung out from the other line, "I missed you, did you get the heating fixed?"
"I missed you too Kells and yeah, a guy came about an hour after I spoke to you yesterday. But the heating won't come on for another 24 hours and it's fucking cold." Vic whined, all too happy to hear from his boyfriend but still annoyed at the lack of heat and the sadness welling in his heart.
"Im sorry love, but at least it's fixed, hu?"
"I guess," Vic shrugged, but then remembering he wouldn't see it and felt his heart sink a little more "is it cold where you are, or..?"
"Vic.." Kellin trailed off, voice sounding a little sadder, "we've had this conversation before."
"I know, but it make this seem more normal, you know? I just miss you a lot." Vic sighed.
From the other line, Vic heard Kellin sigh too before adding "I miss you too baby, but I can't help this. You know we won't be able to see each other for a long time and I've told you time and time again that if you want to end this and move on, you can. You deserve to be happy Vic."
"You know Id never do that Kellin, I'd rather be dead" Vic said seriously. A short chuckled came from Kellin before replying,
"I know."
It went awkwardly silent for a while, both boys longing for nothing else than to be able to hold eachother.
"Kellin, it's been 2 years-"
"I know, but I've told you that you're not coming to see me. You can't, not right now." The younger boy said forcefully, Vic wanted nothing else for his boyfriend to agree but he knew there was no way he was willingly going to agree with him visiting him.
"I know.. I think I'm gonna go visit the cemetery today. You know, replace the flowers on 'his' grave."
"Okay. That would be nice. You should bring red roses, you know 'he' likes them. Oh, and maybe while you're down there, give my grandma a few daises? You know I would and being away is difficult but she loves them."
Vic smiled, of course he'd do that for Kellin. It seemed only fitting.
"Okay Kells, I'll speak to you later. Love you."
"I love you too."
-
The drive to the florist was a quick and easy one. He bought a fresh bunch of roses for 'him' and the kind lady gave him a dozen daises for free since he was such a frequent visitor. She was a lovely woman, he only bothered going there for her kind words and company.
Once he reached the cemetery, he parked quickly and made his way to he place where he laid. He didn't pay much attention he just dropped the roses, kissed his hand to the stone and walked off. Vic didn't like to talk about what happened anymore. 'He' was someone he wanted to forget, he didn't bother using his real name. Was it cruel? Maybe, but it was either that or face the truth of what happened, as to why Kellin had to move away in the first place and that wasn't something either wanted to remember.
After that he made his way over to Kellin's grandmothers grave and dropped the daises. He cleared up the grave a little bit and made it prettier before leaving. As he left, however, a small little grave near the entrance caught his eye and made his stomach drop. He didn't look back, he just left and tried to push the memory out of his head.
-
"How was today?" Kellin asked, his voice a little clearer now. Vic shuddered at the memory, trying to force the images out of his head before replying.
"Bad, it's always bad. I bought your grandmother daises"
"I know," Kellin coo'd softly, "and thank you. I appreciate it."
"That's okay.." It went silent again. Vic was sitting on his bed, a hot cup of coca sitting in his lap and the sadness from earlier bubbling up inside of him. He looked towards his bedside cabinet. There was a picture of the two of them on it. It was taken during their time in England about 5 years ago now. Camden market was by far the prettiest and most incredible place that either of them had ever been too and this particular photo was his favourite. They were standing by the riverbank, just outside of the bank and by the open markets. Kellin was sticking his tongue out as he kissed his cheek and they just looked so happy. He missed it. Oh god, he missed it.
"I thought I saw you today." Vic said finally, breaking the awkward silence.
Kellin replied with a laugh, "that's probably because you did."
"Don't. Don't joke about that."
Kellin sighed, "Vic.."
"No Kellin!" Vic said, his voice cracking as the sadness ebbed itself to the surface, "you don't understand. I have to still honour that piece of shit after everything he's done. After what he did to you and your grandmother. Kellin, how could you fucking joke about that?!"
"I'm sorry.." He said quietly, taking his words in carefully. He knew Vic was upset but he didn't realize how deep it ran.
"No Kellin, I'm sorry I just miss you so much and it hurts. It hurts so much I can barely stand it. I wanna come to you, I need to."
"Are you crazy? Absolutely not!" He exclaimed, his voice full of panic, "not this again Vic, you know I can't let you do that!"
"And why is that?" Vic countered, "nothing matters more to me than you. I miss you, I love you and you love me. Why wouldn't you want me to do this?!"
"Because you're needed there, your mom, dad, Mike, they need you!" Kellin said, his voice now shaky. Vic couldn't do this, he wouldn't let him.
"They can just ring me."
"Phone calls aren't enough."
"Even you agree!" Vic cried, sobbing now, "I-I need you! You don't understand Kell, I can't move on from this. You're all I care about"
"Now Vic, you're getting hysterical. Calm down."
"Please!"
"Im not letting you kill yourself, Victor!" Kellin yelled.
"But!" He sobbed.
"Please Vic, listen to me. If I can wait, you can too. It doesn't matter, live your life and be happy! Im always going to be here for you to come back to and when your time comes, we'll be together again. Okay baby?" Kellin said calmly, wanting nothing more than to calm his boyfriend.
"I.. Okay. Okay I'm sorry. Im so sorry I just.. Fuck I love you Kellin. Seeing your grave today and not having the guts to give you flowers just showed how pathetic I am. I can honour Tony, the guy that killed you and your grandma but not my own boyfriend? What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing's wrong with you," Kellin sighed, "Tony was your friend too, Vic. The crash was an accident, it's not-"
"No! If I wasn't working and didn't ask Tony to pick you guys up, it would have been me instead of him. We would be together and I would have get a phone call from heaven every day just to hear my boyfriend.."
"I know, baby. But.. Please? Just live for me. I know it's hard but so many people love you and want you here. Please promise me you won't speed up the process?" Kellin pleaded, all to eager for his boyfriend to see reason. Vic sighed and as much as it hurt to say it, reluctantly he agreed.
"Thank you" Kellin smiled.
Vic shook his head, the entire conversation exhausting him too much. Before long they reached their deadline and Kellin had to go.
"I have to go now baby but remember what I said and what you promised?" Kellin said seriously.
"I won't die too soon, okay, I get it. Goodnight Kells, I love you. Give your grandparents the best for me."
"I will, Vic, goodnight."
Kellin hung up and Vic lingered on what happened a while longer. Two years ago Kellin needed to pick his grandma from the airport after her first vacation since her husband died. Vic couldn't drive him due to work but his best friend, Tony, could, so he agreed. On the way back home a car ran a red light, forcing them to skid and crash the car. All passengers were pronounced dead at the scene and ever since Vic was recovering. Losing his boyfriend and his best friend was hard and most days he just wanted to give up, slash his wrists and be with his loved ones. The only person stopping him was Kellin. He was so adamant for Vic to live but what he didn't realize was that Vic was only living for those phone calls from heaven. It seemed ridiculous that he was still living but he couldn't lie to Kellin.
He went downstairs after a while and grabbed a bottle of Vodka from the cupboard.
Because, okay, he wasn't going to kill himself. But there wasn't any harm in provoking death a bit, was there ?
The night previous was a rough one, the heating had died out the and luckily there was a guy working late who could come and fix it but I wouldn't kick in for another 24 hours, meaning he wouldn't be able to feel the abnormal warmth throughout his house until 10pm the following night. It sucked, yeah, but he didn't realize he would be able to sleep due to being far too cold. If he wasn't alone, however, he was sure he wouldn't be feeling quite so depressed about the whole situation.
Kellin had moved away about two years ago now and maybe that was why he was feeling a little rough. It wasn't as if he didn't still speak to him, it was just his presents he missed. Being embraced by the cute little boy that he called his was hard on both of them, Kellin often cried down the phone at how much he missed him but there was absolutely no way either of them could be together right now. It sucked but Vic couldn't leave this place, he had too much to stay for and yeah, most people would give up everything for the one they loved but this was different. It was a huge step to take and Vic wasn't sure he was ready for such a change quite yet.
Regardless, they still spoke everyday at precisely 9am and 9pm. It was a ritual they had stuck by ever since the change and it worked, for them at least. Though sometimes Vic wished Kellin had a way of getting Skype so they could speak face to face but it seems as though he was maybe pushing his luck. He just missed him, that was all.
The clock stuck 8:55am and Vic was currently bundled under 3 blankets and a few layered hoodies. The snow had yet to grace his beautiful Michigan home but it was definitely close, considering the temperature. If Kellin was here they'd be out in it by now, making a snowman and have stupid little snowball fights against the neighbourhood kids because, after all, when Kellin still lived here they were only kids themselves. At 20 they already had this house from Vic inheritance and we're happily domesticated. Their relationship was perfect, four years strong and happier than ever.. but then Kellin had to go and it left a small hole in Vic's heart. He missed him, little things like snow and blankets made Vic crave his boyfriends touch more than anything. If only he didn't have to leave to be with his Grandparents, Kellin would still be in this house instead of a crackled voice on the telephone.
Speaking of which, almost exactly as the clock stuck 9, his phone was ringing. Shakily, he pulled his hands out of their warmth and picked up the phone
"Hello?"
"Victor!" A small, angelic voice sung out from the other line, "I missed you, did you get the heating fixed?"
"I missed you too Kells and yeah, a guy came about an hour after I spoke to you yesterday. But the heating won't come on for another 24 hours and it's fucking cold." Vic whined, all too happy to hear from his boyfriend but still annoyed at the lack of heat and the sadness welling in his heart.
"Im sorry love, but at least it's fixed, hu?"
"I guess," Vic shrugged, but then remembering he wouldn't see it and felt his heart sink a little more "is it cold where you are, or..?"
"Vic.." Kellin trailed off, voice sounding a little sadder, "we've had this conversation before."
"I know, but it make this seem more normal, you know? I just miss you a lot." Vic sighed.
From the other line, Vic heard Kellin sigh too before adding "I miss you too baby, but I can't help this. You know we won't be able to see each other for a long time and I've told you time and time again that if you want to end this and move on, you can. You deserve to be happy Vic."
"You know Id never do that Kellin, I'd rather be dead" Vic said seriously. A short chuckled came from Kellin before replying,
"I know."
It went awkwardly silent for a while, both boys longing for nothing else than to be able to hold eachother.
"Kellin, it's been 2 years-"
"I know, but I've told you that you're not coming to see me. You can't, not right now." The younger boy said forcefully, Vic wanted nothing else for his boyfriend to agree but he knew there was no way he was willingly going to agree with him visiting him.
"I know.. I think I'm gonna go visit the cemetery today. You know, replace the flowers on 'his' grave."
"Okay. That would be nice. You should bring red roses, you know 'he' likes them. Oh, and maybe while you're down there, give my grandma a few daises? You know I would and being away is difficult but she loves them."
Vic smiled, of course he'd do that for Kellin. It seemed only fitting.
"Okay Kells, I'll speak to you later. Love you."
"I love you too."
-
The drive to the florist was a quick and easy one. He bought a fresh bunch of roses for 'him' and the kind lady gave him a dozen daises for free since he was such a frequent visitor. She was a lovely woman, he only bothered going there for her kind words and company.
Once he reached the cemetery, he parked quickly and made his way to he place where he laid. He didn't pay much attention he just dropped the roses, kissed his hand to the stone and walked off. Vic didn't like to talk about what happened anymore. 'He' was someone he wanted to forget, he didn't bother using his real name. Was it cruel? Maybe, but it was either that or face the truth of what happened, as to why Kellin had to move away in the first place and that wasn't something either wanted to remember.
After that he made his way over to Kellin's grandmothers grave and dropped the daises. He cleared up the grave a little bit and made it prettier before leaving. As he left, however, a small little grave near the entrance caught his eye and made his stomach drop. He didn't look back, he just left and tried to push the memory out of his head.
-
"How was today?" Kellin asked, his voice a little clearer now. Vic shuddered at the memory, trying to force the images out of his head before replying.
"Bad, it's always bad. I bought your grandmother daises"
"I know," Kellin coo'd softly, "and thank you. I appreciate it."
"That's okay.." It went silent again. Vic was sitting on his bed, a hot cup of coca sitting in his lap and the sadness from earlier bubbling up inside of him. He looked towards his bedside cabinet. There was a picture of the two of them on it. It was taken during their time in England about 5 years ago now. Camden market was by far the prettiest and most incredible place that either of them had ever been too and this particular photo was his favourite. They were standing by the riverbank, just outside of the bank and by the open markets. Kellin was sticking his tongue out as he kissed his cheek and they just looked so happy. He missed it. Oh god, he missed it.
"I thought I saw you today." Vic said finally, breaking the awkward silence.
Kellin replied with a laugh, "that's probably because you did."
"Don't. Don't joke about that."
Kellin sighed, "Vic.."
"No Kellin!" Vic said, his voice cracking as the sadness ebbed itself to the surface, "you don't understand. I have to still honour that piece of shit after everything he's done. After what he did to you and your grandmother. Kellin, how could you fucking joke about that?!"
"I'm sorry.." He said quietly, taking his words in carefully. He knew Vic was upset but he didn't realize how deep it ran.
"No Kellin, I'm sorry I just miss you so much and it hurts. It hurts so much I can barely stand it. I wanna come to you, I need to."
"Are you crazy? Absolutely not!" He exclaimed, his voice full of panic, "not this again Vic, you know I can't let you do that!"
"And why is that?" Vic countered, "nothing matters more to me than you. I miss you, I love you and you love me. Why wouldn't you want me to do this?!"
"Because you're needed there, your mom, dad, Mike, they need you!" Kellin said, his voice now shaky. Vic couldn't do this, he wouldn't let him.
"They can just ring me."
"Phone calls aren't enough."
"Even you agree!" Vic cried, sobbing now, "I-I need you! You don't understand Kell, I can't move on from this. You're all I care about"
"Now Vic, you're getting hysterical. Calm down."
"Please!"
"Im not letting you kill yourself, Victor!" Kellin yelled.
"But!" He sobbed.
"Please Vic, listen to me. If I can wait, you can too. It doesn't matter, live your life and be happy! Im always going to be here for you to come back to and when your time comes, we'll be together again. Okay baby?" Kellin said calmly, wanting nothing more than to calm his boyfriend.
"I.. Okay. Okay I'm sorry. Im so sorry I just.. Fuck I love you Kellin. Seeing your grave today and not having the guts to give you flowers just showed how pathetic I am. I can honour Tony, the guy that killed you and your grandma but not my own boyfriend? What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing's wrong with you," Kellin sighed, "Tony was your friend too, Vic. The crash was an accident, it's not-"
"No! If I wasn't working and didn't ask Tony to pick you guys up, it would have been me instead of him. We would be together and I would have get a phone call from heaven every day just to hear my boyfriend.."
"I know, baby. But.. Please? Just live for me. I know it's hard but so many people love you and want you here. Please promise me you won't speed up the process?" Kellin pleaded, all to eager for his boyfriend to see reason. Vic sighed and as much as it hurt to say it, reluctantly he agreed.
"Thank you" Kellin smiled.
Vic shook his head, the entire conversation exhausting him too much. Before long they reached their deadline and Kellin had to go.
"I have to go now baby but remember what I said and what you promised?" Kellin said seriously.
"I won't die too soon, okay, I get it. Goodnight Kells, I love you. Give your grandparents the best for me."
"I will, Vic, goodnight."
Kellin hung up and Vic lingered on what happened a while longer. Two years ago Kellin needed to pick his grandma from the airport after her first vacation since her husband died. Vic couldn't drive him due to work but his best friend, Tony, could, so he agreed. On the way back home a car ran a red light, forcing them to skid and crash the car. All passengers were pronounced dead at the scene and ever since Vic was recovering. Losing his boyfriend and his best friend was hard and most days he just wanted to give up, slash his wrists and be with his loved ones. The only person stopping him was Kellin. He was so adamant for Vic to live but what he didn't realize was that Vic was only living for those phone calls from heaven. It seemed ridiculous that he was still living but he couldn't lie to Kellin.
He went downstairs after a while and grabbed a bottle of Vodka from the cupboard.
Because, okay, he wasn't going to kill himself. But there wasn't any harm in provoking death a bit, was there ?
♠ ♠ ♠
I wrote this on sleeping pills ok srry I regret exactly nothing (except the fact that this is shit lmao)