Status: DISCONTINUED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE
Master of Sardonic Wit
13.
July 21 1997
“I am so jealous of you now,” Kayleigh glared at James who looked at her smugly, sticking out his chest and grinning widely, “you met fucking Jhonen Vasquez?! And you got his autograph and phone number!”
“What did you say to him? 'Hey babe, want to have some kinky buttsex with me later tonight?', seriously James,” Steve looked at James with a frown on his face, trying to hold Kayleigh back so she wouldn't tackle James to steal the autograph.
“Not in those exact words,” James started before Kayleigh interrupted him.
“Did you really ask him to take you in the ass?!”
“I was going to until you interrupted me,” James shot back.
Kayleigh looked at James with wide eyes, rather confused with what he had just said but still shocked about the fact that he had met Jhonen Vasquez, the one artist who she adored ever since James brought home several of his comic books, claiming they were his and no one else could touch them.
“He has a fine ass just so you know,” James smirked.
“But, but,” Kayleigh stammered, “how?”
“Well you know, him, me, a couple of beers, a hotel room,” James started, counting on his fingers so he wouldn't forget anything.
“You know what I mean,” Kayleigh glared.
“Well, like I was saying, a couple of beers, a hotel room,” James continued.
Kayleigh sighed and rubbed her temple before leaning into Steve who safely wrapped his arms around her waist and smiled amused at James who's grin was still so big that it started to scare him slightly.
“Sheesh, you'd believe anything I'd say, seriously, loosen up already,” James shook his head at Kayleigh who glared at him before trying to jump and tackle him but thankfully for James, Steve kept his grip on her waist.
“Do you have his phone number or not?”
“Yeah, he told me to call him if I was in need for some good buttsex,” James said, looking at his eyes and starting to bite one of them when he noticed it was cut weird.
“James,” Kayleigh glared at him, clearly not amused by James' answer.
“Of course I have his number, for the band , I asked him if he was willing to do some artwork for one of the future albums,” James nodded, looking at Steve rather proud of his achievement.
“One thing, we don't have a drummer,” Steve rolled his eyes.
“We'll find somebody, perhaps an add?” the last part was said so quietly before James made his way out of the room that Steve almost didn't catch it. He looked at Kayleigh and shook his head at the older man before giving his girlfriend a passionate kiss.
“Never mind him,” Steve muttered.
“Who said I was?” Kayleigh asked, raising an eyebrow at Steve.
“I can see it in your eyes,” Steve shrugged, smirking a little at Kayleigh before kissing her again, “I'm going to go and see what he's up to now.”
“Just make sure he doesn't hurt himself while thinking and I'm fine with it.”
“I'll try, and if he does hurt himself, I followed a first aid course back in high school,” Steve smiled before giving Kayleigh one last kiss and then walking out of the room in the direction he had seen James go to.
“Those two are going to get me a heart attack one day,” Kayleigh shook her head before she heard Chantal giggle in the background.
“Admit it, he got to you.”
“That he did, the little asshole,” Kayleigh muttered darkly.
“You love him for it,” Chantal rolled her eyes, “now, how about some shopping? I took James' credit card while he wasn't looking.”
“You know what? I like you girl!”
“I saw this cute little dress earlier with James, you have to try it on, it would fit you so good,” Chantal giggled, locking arms with Kayleigh before walking out of the door with the girl, her purse already in the crook of her other free arm.
“I'm not that big of a dress fan,” Kayleigh muttered, pouting a little as Chantal still dragged her towards the shop where she had seen it.
“Oh trust me darling, you'll like this one,” Chantal smiled.
“Alright but I trust you,” Kayleigh pointed her finger at Chantal who nodded and held her own hand over her chest for a moment before continuing to find her way towards the store.
“See, it's that one, it'll fit with your eyes and bring Steve all on and about, what do you think? Want to fit it?”
“Chantal, I don't think I like you anymore,” Kayleigh started, “because now, I love you, how did you know I'd like this dress?”
“I just guessed, it fits with your eyes, like I said, come on, let's go fit it,” Chantal giggled before she was pulled in the store by Kayleigh herself, who's eyes were already scanning the store to find the dress.
After half an hour of searching and then eventually asking for the lady of the store where they could find the dress, Kayleigh and Chantal finally managed to fit the dress and look at Kayleigh wearing it.
“I like it,” Kayleigh nodded, “but it's probably expensive as hell.”
“Actually it's not,” Chantal said, looking at the price tag on the back of the dress.
“How much is it then?”
“$ 50,” Chantal frowned, shrugging, “I've seen dresses more expensive than this one, I'd say buy it.”
“I think I will, I like it,” Kayleigh nodded, looking at herself in the simple white dress with a small leather border and an open back.
August 3 1997
“Okay folks, we got two huge problems here,” James said to his group of friends once again, most of the time when he had a problem he came to them since they usually amused him with their answers or came up with a possible solution for the problem.
“And one of those problems can't be stopped so that rests us the other big problem,” James continued, “you guys still following?”
“Buttsex?” Steve asked, just to annoy James and smirking at him.
“Do that in your free time, we got a bigger problem here!”
“And that is?” Vanessa asked, looking at James who was making weird gestures with his hands all of the sudden.
“We're kind of missing someone to hit the things on the back of the stage and make this really really really cool sound,” James explained.
“You lost me,” Vanessa frowned.
“I forgot how it's called but, it's on the back of the stage and it makes a lot of noise,” James rolled his eyes.
“What he's really trying to say is that we're missing a drummer for our band, so everyone get out of there and find all possible drummers around!” Steve explained in easier words, slapping James on the arm for making it all much more complicated than it really was.
Half an hour later, Steve and Vanessa were sitting somewhere in the background while James was walking back and forth in front of a line of people that had all volunteered to become the drummer for the band.
“Seriously James, just pick somebody,” Steve rolled his eyes at James who looked over his shoulder and silenced the man with a glare.
“Jennifer, what are you doing here?” James took a step back, looking at Jennifer smirking at him, holding a pair of old and worn out drum sticks in her hand.
“Audition?”
“I didn't know you could drum,” James frowned, looking at Jennifer from head to toe.
"If you're really desperate, I haven't played in like ten years, but maybe if someone will lend us a drum kit I can attempt to play the drums for just these couple of shows until you can find someone who is a real drummer."
“Who of you fools can lend us a drum kit here?”
Not two hours later, Jennifer was installing herself behind a drum kit, looking amazed at it and touching it with the top of her fingers, a smile creeping up her lips before James interrupted her thoughts from behind the glass of the recording room where they would record some of her drumming first to mix with the songs James already had.
“You ready?”
“As I'll ever be.”
“I am so jealous of you now,” Kayleigh glared at James who looked at her smugly, sticking out his chest and grinning widely, “you met fucking Jhonen Vasquez?! And you got his autograph and phone number!”
“What did you say to him? 'Hey babe, want to have some kinky buttsex with me later tonight?', seriously James,” Steve looked at James with a frown on his face, trying to hold Kayleigh back so she wouldn't tackle James to steal the autograph.
“Not in those exact words,” James started before Kayleigh interrupted him.
“Did you really ask him to take you in the ass?!”
“I was going to until you interrupted me,” James shot back.
Kayleigh looked at James with wide eyes, rather confused with what he had just said but still shocked about the fact that he had met Jhonen Vasquez, the one artist who she adored ever since James brought home several of his comic books, claiming they were his and no one else could touch them.
“He has a fine ass just so you know,” James smirked.
“But, but,” Kayleigh stammered, “how?”
“Well you know, him, me, a couple of beers, a hotel room,” James started, counting on his fingers so he wouldn't forget anything.
“You know what I mean,” Kayleigh glared.
“Well, like I was saying, a couple of beers, a hotel room,” James continued.
Kayleigh sighed and rubbed her temple before leaning into Steve who safely wrapped his arms around her waist and smiled amused at James who's grin was still so big that it started to scare him slightly.
“Sheesh, you'd believe anything I'd say, seriously, loosen up already,” James shook his head at Kayleigh who glared at him before trying to jump and tackle him but thankfully for James, Steve kept his grip on her waist.
“Do you have his phone number or not?”
“Yeah, he told me to call him if I was in need for some good buttsex,” James said, looking at his eyes and starting to bite one of them when he noticed it was cut weird.
“James,” Kayleigh glared at him, clearly not amused by James' answer.
“Of course I have his number, for the band , I asked him if he was willing to do some artwork for one of the future albums,” James nodded, looking at Steve rather proud of his achievement.
“One thing, we don't have a drummer,” Steve rolled his eyes.
“We'll find somebody, perhaps an add?” the last part was said so quietly before James made his way out of the room that Steve almost didn't catch it. He looked at Kayleigh and shook his head at the older man before giving his girlfriend a passionate kiss.
“Never mind him,” Steve muttered.
“Who said I was?” Kayleigh asked, raising an eyebrow at Steve.
“I can see it in your eyes,” Steve shrugged, smirking a little at Kayleigh before kissing her again, “I'm going to go and see what he's up to now.”
“Just make sure he doesn't hurt himself while thinking and I'm fine with it.”
“I'll try, and if he does hurt himself, I followed a first aid course back in high school,” Steve smiled before giving Kayleigh one last kiss and then walking out of the room in the direction he had seen James go to.
“Those two are going to get me a heart attack one day,” Kayleigh shook her head before she heard Chantal giggle in the background.
“Admit it, he got to you.”
“That he did, the little asshole,” Kayleigh muttered darkly.
“You love him for it,” Chantal rolled her eyes, “now, how about some shopping? I took James' credit card while he wasn't looking.”
“You know what? I like you girl!”
“I saw this cute little dress earlier with James, you have to try it on, it would fit you so good,” Chantal giggled, locking arms with Kayleigh before walking out of the door with the girl, her purse already in the crook of her other free arm.
“I'm not that big of a dress fan,” Kayleigh muttered, pouting a little as Chantal still dragged her towards the shop where she had seen it.
“Oh trust me darling, you'll like this one,” Chantal smiled.
“Alright but I trust you,” Kayleigh pointed her finger at Chantal who nodded and held her own hand over her chest for a moment before continuing to find her way towards the store.
“See, it's that one, it'll fit with your eyes and bring Steve all on and about, what do you think? Want to fit it?”
“Chantal, I don't think I like you anymore,” Kayleigh started, “because now, I love you, how did you know I'd like this dress?”
“I just guessed, it fits with your eyes, like I said, come on, let's go fit it,” Chantal giggled before she was pulled in the store by Kayleigh herself, who's eyes were already scanning the store to find the dress.
After half an hour of searching and then eventually asking for the lady of the store where they could find the dress, Kayleigh and Chantal finally managed to fit the dress and look at Kayleigh wearing it.
“I like it,” Kayleigh nodded, “but it's probably expensive as hell.”
“Actually it's not,” Chantal said, looking at the price tag on the back of the dress.
“How much is it then?”
“$ 50,” Chantal frowned, shrugging, “I've seen dresses more expensive than this one, I'd say buy it.”
“I think I will, I like it,” Kayleigh nodded, looking at herself in the simple white dress with a small leather border and an open back.
August 3 1997
“Okay folks, we got two huge problems here,” James said to his group of friends once again, most of the time when he had a problem he came to them since they usually amused him with their answers or came up with a possible solution for the problem.
“And one of those problems can't be stopped so that rests us the other big problem,” James continued, “you guys still following?”
“Buttsex?” Steve asked, just to annoy James and smirking at him.
“Do that in your free time, we got a bigger problem here!”
“And that is?” Vanessa asked, looking at James who was making weird gestures with his hands all of the sudden.
“We're kind of missing someone to hit the things on the back of the stage and make this really really really cool sound,” James explained.
“You lost me,” Vanessa frowned.
“I forgot how it's called but, it's on the back of the stage and it makes a lot of noise,” James rolled his eyes.
“What he's really trying to say is that we're missing a drummer for our band, so everyone get out of there and find all possible drummers around!” Steve explained in easier words, slapping James on the arm for making it all much more complicated than it really was.
Half an hour later, Steve and Vanessa were sitting somewhere in the background while James was walking back and forth in front of a line of people that had all volunteered to become the drummer for the band.
“Seriously James, just pick somebody,” Steve rolled his eyes at James who looked over his shoulder and silenced the man with a glare.
“Jennifer, what are you doing here?” James took a step back, looking at Jennifer smirking at him, holding a pair of old and worn out drum sticks in her hand.
“Audition?”
“I didn't know you could drum,” James frowned, looking at Jennifer from head to toe.
"If you're really desperate, I haven't played in like ten years, but maybe if someone will lend us a drum kit I can attempt to play the drums for just these couple of shows until you can find someone who is a real drummer."
“Who of you fools can lend us a drum kit here?”
Not two hours later, Jennifer was installing herself behind a drum kit, looking amazed at it and touching it with the top of her fingers, a smile creeping up her lips before James interrupted her thoughts from behind the glass of the recording room where they would record some of her drumming first to mix with the songs James already had.
“You ready?”
“As I'll ever be.”