Master of Sardonic Wit

March 3 1998

"I can't believe we got booked outside of New York."

"It's just New Jersey Vanessa," James rolled his eyes, "not such a big deal, I grew up here."

"Not for you perhaps, for me it is," Vanessa pointed out, "besides, I didn't know you grew up here."

"Yeah," James frowned, "what does that tell you about me?"

"That you're a lucky guy," Vanessa nodded.

"I don't know how that makes me a happy guy Vanessa but whatever floats your boat," James shrugged.

"Are your parents coming James?" Jennifer frowned, leaning closer towards James.

James sighed and shook his head, keeping his eyes on the road in front of them. Jennifer, Steve and Vanessa shared a glance amongst each other.

“Didn't tell them about the show,” James shrugged, breaking the silence between them. Jennifer opened her mouth to say something but couldn't come up with something in return so just closed it seconds later.

“Why didn't you tell them?” Steve frowned.

“I don't know,” James muttered, “forgot I guess.”

“Mark wouldn't have let you forget it.”

“Which is why I didn't tell him either,” James nodded satisfied.

“James, you should call them and tell them you're in town,” Jennifer frowned, placing a hand on James' shoulder.

“Yeah, I'll call them later, I'm kind of driving now.”

The show itself went great. James did indeed call his parent's house but as he claimed, they didn't pick up. He shrugged and had done the show just like he had planned it anyway, it didn't really matter to him, Steve however, was convinced that James did care about his parents being there or not but kept it quiet from the singer.

Nothing really changed, James was still the hyperactive singer on stage, singing his heart out but sometimes, his eyes would dart around the crowd in search for someone familiar. Needless to say, James did find a few people that he recognized from his childhood and did act upon his need to attack them with his words, making the people rather uncomfortable and even laugh at the man's words.

“So, we're just crashing at your parent's house? Even though they're not home?”

“Yeah, basically,” James nodded, looking comfortable even if the rest of the band didn't. It was, after all, the first time they had entered James' childhood home. James walked in the living room and grabbed the stack of letters on the table, going through them before throwing them back on the table and looking around.

“Home sweet home...”

“Yeah,” Vanessa frowned, “where are your parents?”

James shrugged and walked over to the kitchen, claiming he was thirsty. Steve sighed and rolled his eyes, following the man.

“Oh, they left a note,” James frowned.

“What does it say?” Steve inquired, looking over James' shoulder in his own curious state. James looked at the yellow post-it and frowned.

“We've gone out, there's enough food in the fridge for you and your friends, use protection, don't play with fire and don't be stupid, xoxo mom and dad,” James read out loud, “man I got some weird parents.”

“Well have you looked at yourself already?”

“Oh shut up,” James glared and put the note back on the fridge, taking out the food his mother had prepared and putting it on the counter, “I better show you everything first right?”

“That would be smart yes.”

James nodded short and then stalked out of the room with Steve trying to follow his big steps. He showed everyone where the bathroom was, where they would spend the night (each in their own bed much to the relief of James himself, apparently their parents had somehow known they were in town) and then told them dinner would be ready soon. Vanessa giggled at James quickly walking out of the room, probably off to the kitchen to prepare the food.

March 13 1998

“I'm so glad to be home!” James proclaimed as he walked in the apartment and flopped himself on the couch, hugging one of the pillows.

“It does feel good doesn't it?” Steve frowned, smiling at the sight of familiarity.

“It's great!” James' voice was slightly muffled by him burying his head in the pillow. Steve chuckled and shook his head, announcing that he needed a shower even if he had taken one the night before at James' parent's house.

“Guys. Is that you?”

“No it's the easter bunny and his April fool,” James shouted back with a slight grin on his lips, probably from hearing his girlfriend's voice.

“My god you two are home late,” Kayleigh walked in the room, pulling her nightrobe closer to her body and gave Steve a peck on the lips when he wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Traffic was a bitch, and we went out to get a drink too,” Steve muttered in her hair.

“I bet, you guys picked the worst time to leave,” Chantal frowned, appearing in the hallway, “where's my easter bunny?”

“Right here,” James waved at Chantal from his position on the couch but otherwise didn't move from it.

“I want a red race car bed and a lot of chocolate, got it?”

“Lots and lots of chocolate?” James asked, lifting his head up from the pillow and seeing Chantal nodded, “loud and clear then.”

“You two need a shower, and a lot of sleep, I don't think the lot of you slept a lot last night.”

“I like the couch! It's mine!” James groaned and protested when Chantal pulled him up from it.

“Bed. Now.”

“I like you kinky like this,” the singer muttered half asleep, resting his head against Chantal's shoulder as she tried to get him to stand up from the couch.

“Bed James, or no Pokémon bed for you.”

“Aaw, no fun,” James pouted, “I need a shower first anyway, care to join me?”

“Not really no.”

“Why not?” James frowned walking behind Chantal through the hallway, his arms around her waist and his hands resting on her stomach.

“I'm tired you dipshit.”

“Pft, blasphemy.”

Kayleigh and Steve looked at each other briefly and then grinned at the banter between the two lovers. Steve grabbed Kayleigh closer to him and lead her towards their own bedroom, still noting that he desperately needed a shower.

James on the other hand, had jumped in and out of the shower as quickly as he could. The hair gel was harder to remove because he had forgotten to wash it good enough the night before, making his hair slightly stiff and unruly. Crawling on the bed next to Chantal, he kissed her bare shoulder and then threw one of his arms over her waist. Chantal shifted in her sleep and buried her head in his chest, making James smile slightly.

Shifting on his back, Chantal snuggled closer to him and James' hand quickly found itself caressing the woman's bright red hair, listening to her breathing.

“Fuck it, I can't sleep, the shower woke me up,” James outed more talking to himself than to Chantal. He cursed under his breath and safely got out of the bed, sitting at the edge and putting his head in his hands.

“James?” Chantal asked groggy, sitting up and rubbing her tired eyes.

“Go back to sleep darling, I'll just go and get something to drink,” he kissed her lips and wanted to stand up but Chantal's hand grabbed his wrist first, pulling him down for another kiss first.

“If you dare to fall asleep on that couch, I'll hit you, hard.”

“Did I already tell you you look beautiful tonight? Did you something new with your hair?”

“Don't fall asleep on that couch James.”

“I won't,” James kissed her lips again and then stood up again, “even though I'm tempted to do so.”

Chantal rolled her eyes at a sly grinning James and gave him another peck on the lips before she laid back down and fell back asleep in no time. James stroke her hair for a while and then left the room as quiet as he could.

Maybe he should fall asleep on that couch to see what would happen after she hit him...