There's a Certain Loneliness in Your Company

There was no way she heard him right. How does he know? Whose side was he on? Glitch felt the bile start to rise in her throat. Her eyes darted to the side catching a glimpse of Ghoul’s composed face. He continued to casually stare out into the desert as if he hadn’t just uttered one of the most dangerous names out here in the zones. As she audibly swallowed what was threatening to come up, she did her best not to tense up under his touch.

“What was that?” Her voice betrayed her, coming out only as a shaky whisper.

“You don’t have to lie.” He didn’t sound malicious. Then again, neither does ONE when he’s being matter of fact. She peeled herself off of him and turned to face him head on. He was studying her like he always did, and she knew she wasn’t hiding much from him with her pale face and shaking frame.

“What do you know?”

“I know that you’re still a terrible liar.” He smirked as though this were any other casual conversation. Glitch tried her best not to flare up at him.

“You know what I mean. What do you know about … about him?” She couldn’t bring herself to say his name aloud. All this time, he had been her secret. He was supposed to be anyway.

“I know he’s a powerful man with his sights set high. I know he recruits people to do his dirty work. But what I don’t know is how you got mixed up in it.” He reached a hand out to touch her arm and she quickly recoiled. Ghoul looked genuinely concerned and, for once, confused. “Glitch?”

“How long have you know?” She wrapped her arms protectively around herself.

“It didn’t take that long.” Just like that, he was back to his cocky self.

“Are you … with—” She was cut off as the front door opened, Kobra and Jet Star strolling back into the house from their place on the front porch. Even later in the evening, the sun continued to cook the earth as she noticed the distinct smell off sweat emitting from them. Kobra raised an eyebrow as he looked between the two of them. Smooth as always, Ghoul was the first to pipe up.

“Skyla’s up. She looks much better.”

“Is Poison with her?” Kobra’s probing stare was forgotten as his eyes shot toward the hall.

“Yeah, maybe check on him too. He looks wrecked.”

As Star and Kobra left the main room, Ghoul looked back at Glitch and for the first time, she saw some emotion etched on his face other than a smirk. She couldn’t quiet place the foreign look, but she almost thought it was fear.

“We’ll talk about this later.” He reached his hand to her one more time. Glitch glanced wryly to his calloused fingers then back to his face.

“How do I know I can trust you?” She kept her hands wrapped firmly around herself. Ghoul had to physically stop himself from rolling his eyes.

“You don’t have much of a choice right now.” He emphasized his hand once more, pleading her with his eyes to take it. Hesitant, she let go of herself and slowly placed her hand in his. In a swift motion, he pulled her against him and wrapped his arms around her, leaning in close to her ear. “We’re being watched. We’re always being watched. I’ll tell you in time, I promise.” His voice was hushed and quick. She barely processed his words just as she felt his mouth close around her neck and quickly bite her skin at the crook of her neck. Shocked and confused as she was, she couldn’t stop the audible gasp that escaped her just as the rest of the guys and Skyla entered the room.

“Jeez, you two need a minute?” Skyla gave her an impressed look as Glitch stammered out of Ghoul’s arms.

“Sorry …” Her faced burned as she muttered an apology. She glanced up at Ghoul who was smug as ever.

“Glad to see you back to your old self." He nodded at Skyla as he reached in his back pocket for his lighter and cigarettes. Glitch had to hand it to him, her side or not, he was the master of distraction. Poison smiled at Skyla, looking worn out and turned to Ghoul.

“Can I bum one?” He strolled across the room to take a cigarette from Ghoul’s outstretched hand. The two of them walked to the front door and stepped outside to smoke, Star and Kobra following them, though they we’re just out there. When the door shut behind them, Skyla began to burst at the seams.

“What was that?” Not being able to hide the excitement in her voice, she practically bounced over to Glitch.

“Take it easy. You just started feeling better.” Glitch ushered her to the dining table where they sat down.

“I’m fine, I swear. I just passed out. It must have been the heat or something, but I’m fine now. So tell me!” she folded her hands on top of the table and stared at Glitch impatiently. It was a rare occasion when they could behave so childlike. Ever since the Helium War, everyone was thrusted into adulthood, whether they were prepared or not. It was every man and woman for themselves and there was virtually no time to relax and definitely no time for gossip and boys. The thought sent a pang of nostalgia through Glitch as she thought of the life she never had the chance to have. The thought quickly went as Skyla tapped her nails impatiently on the worn wood of the table.

“I don’t know. It just happened all at once. We were on a run and the next thing I knew …” Her cheeks flushed as she thought of what happened just last night. No sooner had the thought entered her mind, her face flushed for another reason. Just last night they were blissfully happy. She never would have thought a mere twenty-four hours later she would be questioning her trust. The way her emotions bounced from one extreme to the other made her head spin. Skyla, thankfully oblivious to Glitch’s inner thoughts, grinned widely next to her.

“I can’t believe it. Tox … I’m so happy for you. For everything.” Skyla was suddenly sentimental, bringing Glitch back to the present.

“Are you ok?” Glitch asked as she reached out to grab Skyla’s hand.

“I’m fine. Sorry for the emotions, it’s just … I’m really proud of you.”

“For what?” Glitch chuckled, cocking her head to the side at her best friend’s unusual display of affection.

“Don’t be offended, but I noticed you haven’t been using. Since we came out here, you’ve been clean. Then you meet Fun Ghoul. He’s really good to you. He’s good for you. And Poison …” Now it was her turn for her cheeks to flush. “We can trust them. It’s just been you and me this whole time, and now there are others. This could work. It is working. I know I’ve always had you, but I still always felt so –”

“Lonely.” Toxic finished the thought for her. “I know what you mean. I am happy. For you and for me.”

Skyla smiled an unusually warm smile. It made her look almost childlike. Glitch was grateful for her friend and her support, but this stream of information from everyone was making her dizzy. She wanted so badly to be as blissful and ignorant as Skyla. She wished Fun Ghoul wouldn’t have said anything earlier. She wished she could have stayed off the drugs and would have never been in ONE’s radar. If he wouldn’t have come for her, then she may have never met Ghoul or the other guys. The thought made her stomach twist until it brought her back to the painful reminder that Ghoul may not be trustworthy or worse, he could have put them both in danger by saying something to her. Her emotions were running wild and she really needed some space from everyone for a while. She stood up a little too quickly and caused Skyla to look at her with confusion.

“I just need some air. Sorry.” Toxic mumbled as she headed for the back door. She heard the guys reentering the house but didn’t bother to stop. She could hear Ghoul’s voice asking where she went, and she did her best to ignore it. As Glitch stepped out into the night air, it washed over her thick and humid making her wish she had stayed inside. The sun was setting, painting a muddled picture of greens, pinks, and oranges across the sky. She sighed as a distant memory of the sunset before the war looked. Blues faded to purples faded to black. Before all the pollution. It was beautiful but long gone. Just like a dream, she could just barely recall the scene in her mind.

Glitch reveled in the memory, thankful to be somewhere else for a while. As she began to fall further into her memories, she heard the tumblers of the door handle behind her start turning and groaned. Not bothering to look and see who it was, she instead stepped sideways allowing whoever it was to stand next to her on the back steps. Not at all surprised to see Ghoul next to her, she continued to stare out across the wasteland of fallen-in roofs and piles of rubble where houses used to stand though she felt his eyes on her. Unable to ignore him any longer, she faltered, stealing a quick look at him.

"I really want to be alone right now." Her quiet voice had trouble cutting through the thick night air, but Ghoul listened intently. They sat there so long in silence she assumed he would actually leave her in peace, but he finally spoke up.

"You know, it's strange to think ... have you ever seen wild dogs out at the edge of the zones?"

"Wild dogs?" She separated the words carefully, eyeing him suspiciously.

"You know, out on runs? They travel along the outside of the zones. Sometimes they wonder in here."

"I've never seen them, no." She began to chew at the dead skin on her lips, waiting to see what wild dogs had to do with anything. He retrieved another cigarette from his pack and lit up, taking a nice long drag before giving an explanation.

"Well, they either travel in packs or they hunt alone. When they hunt, they usually go for the weaker prey. Sometimes they will take down their natural predator if it's injured enough, but they never take out their own. Not even the injured. They may fight but they would never hurt each other. They protect themselves and their pack at any cost." The cigarette bobbed between his fingers while he spoke. She watched as he would bring it to his lips then put it back down to continue. As he finished his thought, she had stopped gnawing on her lips to stare at him blankly. His eyes were probing her waiting for a response.

She nodded slowly, finally starting to understand his metaphor. He said they're always being watched. She knew that first hand from the information ONE provided every time they met. It explained how he knew about their first encounter in the hall. It explained how Poison got his gun back. ONE has them all under his thumb. Did Skyla know? Was she one of us, too? It might have explained somethings, but at the same time it only raised more questions. ONE said Glitch was his Guinea pig. He said he was taking liberties with her he never had before. Was all that a lie? What game was he playing?

Glitch began to chew on her lips once more as her mind continued to race with more questions. She jumped at Ghoul's touch when he reached out and gently grabbed her by the chin. He placed his thumb on her bottom lip, removing it from her teeth.

"You're bleeding." He mumbled as his cigarette hung from his mouth. The pad of his thumb felt smooth against her cracked lips as he wiped away the blood she just began to taste. A shiver ran down her spine despite the muggy night air around them. Glitch may have found some answers she was looking for, despite raising a few dozen more. What she knew was that she could trust Fun Ghoul. She could trust all of them. She knew that this was their pack, and they would protect each other. She knew that for now, she was safe and she needed to enjoy it while she could.

Her hand reached up and pulled the cig from his mouth before placing it in her own, taking the last drag before flicking it away. As she blew out the stream of hot smoke, she reached up and wrapped her hands behind his neck, pulling him into a satisfying, stress relieving, distracting kiss that he was quick to answer.