A Thousand Skies

Westfall's wedding dress shop was composed entirely of purple tones, to ensure that you could see the distinction between the different types of white. Even with that small gesture, I couldn't tell what kind of white was the prettiest. Our grandmother on the other hand, could.

"Maybe you should try this cream colored dress. Or wait... Take the off-white, this will look better with your dark hair. Have you tried the snow white dres already?"

She held a dozen of dresses in her arms. Avery stood there dumbfound. She probably didn't see the differences herself but didn't want to disappoint our grandmother since she was in her I'm-having-so-much-stress-my-eldest-granddaughter-is-going-to-marry-soon state. And then there was her youngest granddaughter who could barely keep her boyfriend Alexander happy. That person was me.

With a sigh, I plopped down on the purple velvet sofa, watching how grandma pushed Avery into a violet fitting room and started pacing, waiting for Avery to come out. She would look radiant, I was sure. She was a beautiful, young woman of twenty-nine years of age who had been together for a while with her fiancé Peter. That while was twelve years to be exact. They had two children: Mary and Isla. Mary was now four years old, Isla two and a half. Both were little sweethearts whom I loved to babysit on. Peter and Avery's wedding day would arrive soon, within three months and fifteen days our dad would walk Avery down the aisle with moist eyes and trembling hands.

"What color dress should I wear as a bridesmaid? It's..."

"Grace! It's not about you, but about Avery. Alright?" Grandma gave me a scolding look.

I immediately shut my mouth and stared at my red lacquered shoes. All the arguments I had first piled up in my head when my grandma would get mad at me, disappeared like snow in the sun. All preperations, sleepless nights and nervous days had been for nothing. I had bothered Alexander over the phone with my ramblings about Grannzilla, about how difficult I found her being so proud of Avery but seeming to find me a layabout that had accomplished nothing in her life. Alexander had silently listened to me, but the words he had spoken after my lengthy tirade, had shattered my heart into a thousand pieces.

"Maybe she isn't wrong."

The words repeated in my head. Why did he say that? Did he think I was a loser, that the small company I had started, was nothing more than an imminent bankruptcy? I had put my heart and soul in the bookstore, all my savings and my entire life. And it was all doing great. Of course I had to ask Alexander what he meant.

In my apartment I had pressed the phone so hard against my ear it made my flesh a bit numb. "What do you mean?"

"Well... Avery has two children, a boyfriend for already more than ten years - who is now her fiancé - and a marriage on the way. Her work as a secretary to the CEO of Splendid gives her a nice income and her husband has a gardening company that runs so smoothly that he can become filthy rich in no time. She has a good life, Grace. A very good one."

It took a while before I could respond normally to his ridiculous words. Alexander and I had been together for four years, he had a job as a bank accountant and if it depended on me, he could ask me to marry him any day. I would say a resounding "yes" when he would pop the question. He was the person who waited constantly to take the next step, I wasn't. It couldn't go fast enough for me.

"We have it good as well," I told him. The connection had cracked, as if it thought I had told a vile lie. "I like it this way."

"I do too." His voice had sounded exhausted. "But your grandmother doesn't see things that way. She had seen your future a little different."

"Our future."

I had said it before I could have regretted it. Each time Alexander spoke about 'me', I couldn't resist correcting him to 'us' or 'we'. We were something, we would have a bright future, I wouldn't exist without him.

"Our future." He had clacked his tongue annoyed. "You know what I wanted to say."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry." I had wished so hard he wasn't always so touchy if I wanted to save us. We weren't always going great, we had to support each other, especially when grandma turned into Godzilla. "I just want her to be happiness for my happiness. But she's so busy comparing between Avery and me it starts to become painful."

"I know. But I must go. I'll see you later."

"Okay. I lov..."

He had hung up before I had the chance to say it. I love you. I really did love him. But I began to doubt whether he still loved me. If he ever had loved me. Maybe Avery's fairytal had affected his thoughts about me. Maybe he thought it was about time to leave the loser I was and go look for a surrogate Avery. Now that I was thinking back to our conversation, sitting absent-mindedly in the bridal shop, I gave him no wrong. I was a layabout. A very big one.

"I believe purple."

Avery came out of the dressing room in what my grandma called a cream colored dress. Her blue eyes sparkled, her long, auburn hair fell loosely over her shoulders.

"Excuse me?" I asked confused.

"Your dress. I think purple will be pretty." She laughed and looked around the shop. "What do you think?"

"Light purple. Please, some kind of light purple. Not this... velvety purple. It makes me want to throw up."

Meanwhile grandma was busy with the size of the dress. It was a shoulder-less dress which emphasized Avery's collarbones, the tanned skin a beautiful contrast with the white of the dress. The upper body of the dress was pretty tight, but the bottom fanned out and dragged way behind her. Peter wouldn't know what do when this woman would walk up to him on their wedding day.

"Violet purple."

I smiled and stood up to admire her. Grandma gave me a sneer not to get too close because she was busy studying the dress, searching for if something was wrong with it. Every detail had to be perfect so that Avery's day would be perfect. I wished nothing less for her.

"Violet purple sounds nice," I said and Avery winked at me.

___________________________________________________________________

The weather was terrible when I went home after three hours of fitting wedding dresses. Grandma and Avery drove back home with Avery's car, I decided to think about my weight and walk the two mile home. It turned out to be a horrible idea.

Shivering, I opened my umbrella and held it in front of my face hoping the wind wouldn't snatch it out of my hands. The streets were filled with puddles, the crub slippery for all clumsy cyclists. Thick drops fell from covered terraces and splashed down at my feet. Great. I crossed the street, the cold cut right through my skin.

The car honked shrill and loud. Shocked I halted in the middle of the street and dropped my umbrella. Two headlights were staring me right in the eyes, the sound of screeching tires echoed in my head.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?"

I was shaking like a leaf. The drived had thrown open his door and stood there in the pouring rain, glaring at me. He held his door so tightly I thought he would drag it off of his car. I was way too startled to respond, the only thing I could do was open and shut my mouth like a fish on dry.

"Well? I could have run you over!"

The rain soaked his clothes, his beard gave him a probably more scarier look than he was. I still didn't know what to say and stared in pure horror at the furious man.

"Ilyas! Calm down!" Another man stepped out of the car, he seemed more concerned about my state than the 'what if something had happened'. "Is everything all right? Did we hit you?"

"N... No," I blurted out with difficulty. "You didn't hit me."

Fortunately, there wasn't much traffic, the car was standing diagonally across the street and I was standing on the borderline, confused. The driver, Ilyas, was boiling with rage, I saw his nostrils open and close along with the rhythm of his heavy breathing. The other young man calmed down when he could state with certaintly I wasn't injured. As he got closer, I noticed his icy blue eyes, they looked right through me.

"Do we need to take you home?"

I shook my head immediately. "I live a few blocks away, I'll manage. Besides, I would only make your interior wet." To emphasize my words, I looked at the green oldtimer the young men had with them.

He laughed with a small role of his bright eyes. "As if we're not going to do that ourselves."

He had a point. We all looked like we just took a swim in the ocean. Still, I shook my head again.

"No, I'll be fine." Bashful I looked at the ground and cleared my throat. "Thanks anyway. And I'm sorry if I scared you. My head's a mess lately."

"No problem. Now you know you need to pay more attention."

He gave me one last nod and walked back to the car. I heard Ilyas curse a few times while I doddered back to the footpath. I mercilessly left my umbrella behind. Not much later the green oldtimer drove past me in a rapid pace.

I hid under a leaking roof, still somewhat in shock, to get my phone out my bag and call Alexander. With this floppy spaghettis as legs I certainly wouldn't get home.

"Grace!"

Because of the rattling sound of the rain on the aluminum roof I barely heard the person who was calling out my name.

"Grace!"

I turned my head, my phone still in my hand, and was surprised to see Chris in a wheelchair come to me. He tired to avoid all the puddles, zigzagging between the roofs, his legs covered by a checkered plaid.

"Chris? What're you doing here?"

His breathing was accelerated when he finally reached me. Nine months ago he had looked so different; shaven, his hair short and an oh so radiant smile on his face. That was May 17, 2013, the day he and Alexander had taken off for a week to Croatie. When he hadn't been sitting in his chair and had strong, muscular legs, carrying a twenty pound backpack. Now he had a full, reddish beard and hair that casually curled in his neck. I found it strange seeing him sitting in the wheelchair, he seemed empty and exhausted, as if all the life had been sucked out of him. Alexander hadn't spoken to him after the holidays, there had been a fierce quarrel on the plane home about a check they had to pay for the hotel.

"I don't want anything to do with that guy anymore," Alexander had said to me. He had contemptuously put his nose in the air. "Fair is fair and that's that."

Chris saw the stunned expression on my face and cleared his throat. "I live a few houses away," he said. "I just saw what happened. Are you alright?"

"A little shaken, but nothing to worry about," I said.

"Hmm." With his hands he pushed himself a little closer, the wheels stopped just in front of my toes. "You look a bit pale. Come with me, I'll give you a cup of tea to warm yourself."

I couldn't say no to this proposal, nevertheless all the blame I had heard about this person with a disgusting personality as Alexander would sayl. I gave a nod and followed him, slaloming between the roofs just as hard as Chris did, to his house.