Boy, Interrupted
II
'I'm not crazy.' that's what you tell them as they put you into a car, ready to take you away.
'I'm not crazy.' that's what you tell yourself as the windows roll up and the car starts to move.
'I'm not crazy.' that's what you tell the driver when he asks why you're there.
'I'm not crazy.' that's what you tell them when they ask why.
'I'm not crazy.' maybe if you say it enough. It might be true.
--
'Alex just sit down.' the receptionist sighs,
'No. I don't need to be here.' I snap,
'And you can take that up with your therapist. Just sit down.' she says sternly and I huff and throw myself into the chair, she hands me a contract sheet and I look at it inquisitively,
'Shouldn't my parents be the ones signing this and sending me off into hell?' I ask,
'You're over 18. You sign it.' she says blankly, I sigh and quickly scribble my signature onto the designated line before turning the page, my eyes widen at what it says,
"Alexander William Gaskarth.
Aged 19.
Self harm on arms.
Attempted suicide 13/04/14."
'I do not self harm.' I snap, my cheeks heating up as a blush colours my skin,
'Your arms say otherwise.' she sighs,
'I fell over.' I whisper, glancing at the bruises littered on my skin, 'either way, I didn't try to kill myself. I just wanted to sleep.' I mutter,
'I don't talk about this. Talk to the therapist.' she says, exasperated,
I sigh and finish signing the documentation quickly.
--
'Right, so this is your room Alex.' Vanessa, the head nurse smiles and I sigh as she opens the door,
'Rian, this is Alex, he's your new roommate.' Vanessa says to the guy sat cross legged on his bed,
'Oh awesome! Hi!' he grins, getting up onto his hands and knees and offering me his right hand, I shake it quickly, listening to the yelling going on in the hallway, I smile at Rian before glancing at Vanessa,
'I've got to go. Rian, take Alex down to the cafeteria in an hour.' she says before leaving, I sigh and walk over to my bed and drop my bag down and start unpacking slowly, my back to Rian. I sigh as I sit down and look at him,
'Cool shirt.' he smiles,
'Uh, thanks.' i mumble,
'I love Blink. Do you like Foo Fighters?' he asks as I get a cigarette out and light it,
'Yeah, they're cool.' I shrug,
'Awesome. They're my favourite band.' Rian says, I nod and he smiles at me.
'Vanessa where's my fucking cigarettes?!?' a voice yells and me and Rian rush to the door of our room and look outside, there is a tall guy standing in the hallway, being restrained by two guards as he yells for his cigarettes,
'Thats Jack.' Rian whispers as we watch the yelling man laughing and looking around,
'Zacky! My dude!' he grins as he escapes the grip of the guards and walks over to a guy who is sat cross legged on the floor of the hallway, he ruffles his hair and Zack grins and giggles,
'Right, where's-' he cuts himself off when he looks at me and Rian,
'Shit.' Rian mutters an slams the door shut and pushes me to my bed,
'What the fuck?!' Jack screams as he swings the door open, he steps inside and slams the door, grabbing a chair and shoving it under the handle,
'Who the fuck are you?!' he yells, charging over to me,
'That's Alex.' Rian whimpers,
'Where's Tony. Where the hell is Tony Perry?!' Jack yells,
'He got let out Jack! He's better!' Rian cries,
'You replaced my best friend?! You prick!' Jack screams, slapping me harshly.
'I'm not crazy.' that's what you tell yourself as the windows roll up and the car starts to move.
'I'm not crazy.' that's what you tell the driver when he asks why you're there.
'I'm not crazy.' that's what you tell them when they ask why.
'I'm not crazy.' maybe if you say it enough. It might be true.
--
'Alex just sit down.' the receptionist sighs,
'No. I don't need to be here.' I snap,
'And you can take that up with your therapist. Just sit down.' she says sternly and I huff and throw myself into the chair, she hands me a contract sheet and I look at it inquisitively,
'Shouldn't my parents be the ones signing this and sending me off into hell?' I ask,
'You're over 18. You sign it.' she says blankly, I sigh and quickly scribble my signature onto the designated line before turning the page, my eyes widen at what it says,
"Alexander William Gaskarth.
Aged 19.
Self harm on arms.
Attempted suicide 13/04/14."
'I do not self harm.' I snap, my cheeks heating up as a blush colours my skin,
'Your arms say otherwise.' she sighs,
'I fell over.' I whisper, glancing at the bruises littered on my skin, 'either way, I didn't try to kill myself. I just wanted to sleep.' I mutter,
'I don't talk about this. Talk to the therapist.' she says, exasperated,
I sigh and finish signing the documentation quickly.
--
'Right, so this is your room Alex.' Vanessa, the head nurse smiles and I sigh as she opens the door,
'Rian, this is Alex, he's your new roommate.' Vanessa says to the guy sat cross legged on his bed,
'Oh awesome! Hi!' he grins, getting up onto his hands and knees and offering me his right hand, I shake it quickly, listening to the yelling going on in the hallway, I smile at Rian before glancing at Vanessa,
'I've got to go. Rian, take Alex down to the cafeteria in an hour.' she says before leaving, I sigh and walk over to my bed and drop my bag down and start unpacking slowly, my back to Rian. I sigh as I sit down and look at him,
'Cool shirt.' he smiles,
'Uh, thanks.' i mumble,
'I love Blink. Do you like Foo Fighters?' he asks as I get a cigarette out and light it,
'Yeah, they're cool.' I shrug,
'Awesome. They're my favourite band.' Rian says, I nod and he smiles at me.
'Vanessa where's my fucking cigarettes?!?' a voice yells and me and Rian rush to the door of our room and look outside, there is a tall guy standing in the hallway, being restrained by two guards as he yells for his cigarettes,
'Thats Jack.' Rian whispers as we watch the yelling man laughing and looking around,
'Zacky! My dude!' he grins as he escapes the grip of the guards and walks over to a guy who is sat cross legged on the floor of the hallway, he ruffles his hair and Zack grins and giggles,
'Right, where's-' he cuts himself off when he looks at me and Rian,
'Shit.' Rian mutters an slams the door shut and pushes me to my bed,
'What the fuck?!' Jack screams as he swings the door open, he steps inside and slams the door, grabbing a chair and shoving it under the handle,
'Who the fuck are you?!' he yells, charging over to me,
'That's Alex.' Rian whimpers,
'Where's Tony. Where the hell is Tony Perry?!' Jack yells,
'He got let out Jack! He's better!' Rian cries,
'You replaced my best friend?! You prick!' Jack screams, slapping me harshly.