Boy, Interrupted
IV
'Alex, come on, keep low.' Jack whispers, urging me to follow him, 'This way.' he says as he opens a door and heads down the stairs,
'Where are we going?' I ask,
'Just follow, shut the door behind you.' he laughs and I nod and shut it quietly, I rush to keep up with him and he puts a hand on my chest to stop me,
'Hang on.' he chuckles and flicks a light on,
'Where are we?' I ask, looking round the little room,
'My hide out. No one comes down here. They forgot this room exists. So I come down here a lot... Mainly at night. It's a good place to think, or just to do shit without Vanessa watching.' he shrugs, walking over to the pile of cushions on the floor,
'Come sit. You brought your fags right?' he asks and I nod, throwing them at him as I sit down gingerly, he plucks a cigarette from the pack before he hands them back to me,
'So, Alexander. Talk to me. What did you do to land yourself in here?' he asks, reaching under a cushion and pulling out a bottle of whiskey, unscrewing it and taking a swig,
'They think I tried to kill myself.' I sigh, locking my fingers together in my lap and staring down at them,
'They think?' he asks, his elbow nudging against mine gently, trying to encourage me to talk to him,
'Yeah. I took too many sleeping pills... I only wanted to sleep.' I whisper, I can feel my cheeks being painted with a light blush,
'Oh, so you didn't try?' he says softly, sounding confused,
'No.' I mumble,
'Are you sure you didn't? Maybe there was that thought in the back of your mind? Maybe you did... You just don't remember how you felt.' he whispers,
'I don't know.' I whimper, looking away from him,
'It's okay. I'm only trying to help you talk about it. What did you do to your wrists?' he asks, taking my left hand and pushing my sleeve up, exposing the bruises,
'I told them I fell over. But I bang them against things.' I whisper,
'Why?' he asks, stroking a finger over the purple hue over where my veins show,
'Stress.' I shrug,
'Your bones must be fucked.' he sighs,
'Yeah well. I'm not crazy though. Why do you even care?' I mutter, pulling my arm away,
'Because I am crazy. And I can tell when others are screwed up as well.' he sighs,
'What the fuck happened to you? You were a prick for the few days I've been here.' I say softly,
'I care. I might not look like I do, but I care. I care more than the nurses ever will. Why do you think Zacky loves me so much? I care.' I snaps, taking a long drag of his cigarette,
'Sorry.' I whisper,
'Whatever. You're just like Matt and Vinny.' Matt and Vinny share a room which they barely ever leave, they scream and yell and attack the nurses. 'Just like them. Refuse to get fixed.' he mutters,
'Jack, I'm sorry.' I say sincerely, 'It's not that I don't want to 'get fixed', I just don't understand why I need fixing.' I add, running a hand through my hair,
'Don't be. You hate it here. I get it. I did too.' he says quietly,
'I'm scared Jack. I don't want to be here.' I whisper,
'I know.' he nods.
--
I wake up to find my head in someone's lap, I look up to see Jack smoking,
'Hey, you okay?' He asks and I nod, rubbing at my eyes tiredly,
'I feel like shit.' I mumble,
'You had too much whiskey. You passed out like an hour ago.' He says, helping me sit up, I glance at he clock,
'The next checks are gonna happen in an hour. You're lucky the don't check your room more than twice each night.' He chuckles, I nod and look at Jack, he has dark circles under his drooping eyes and he looks completely shattered,
'You look like you need to sleep.' I whisper,
'I'm pretty tired. I didn't wanna sleep with you passed out though. I didn't want something to happen to you.' He sighs and I smile softly, moving to stand up, 'Where are you going?' Jack asks,
'Taking you to bed.' I shrug,
'You don't have to. We can stay here a bit longer if you like.' He says,
'No, you're tired and you need to sleep. You've done enough for me tonight. I can survive going back to my room.' I smile, helping him up,
'As long as you're sure.' He whispers.
'Where are we going?' I ask,
'Just follow, shut the door behind you.' he laughs and I nod and shut it quietly, I rush to keep up with him and he puts a hand on my chest to stop me,
'Hang on.' he chuckles and flicks a light on,
'Where are we?' I ask, looking round the little room,
'My hide out. No one comes down here. They forgot this room exists. So I come down here a lot... Mainly at night. It's a good place to think, or just to do shit without Vanessa watching.' he shrugs, walking over to the pile of cushions on the floor,
'Come sit. You brought your fags right?' he asks and I nod, throwing them at him as I sit down gingerly, he plucks a cigarette from the pack before he hands them back to me,
'So, Alexander. Talk to me. What did you do to land yourself in here?' he asks, reaching under a cushion and pulling out a bottle of whiskey, unscrewing it and taking a swig,
'They think I tried to kill myself.' I sigh, locking my fingers together in my lap and staring down at them,
'They think?' he asks, his elbow nudging against mine gently, trying to encourage me to talk to him,
'Yeah. I took too many sleeping pills... I only wanted to sleep.' I whisper, I can feel my cheeks being painted with a light blush,
'Oh, so you didn't try?' he says softly, sounding confused,
'No.' I mumble,
'Are you sure you didn't? Maybe there was that thought in the back of your mind? Maybe you did... You just don't remember how you felt.' he whispers,
'I don't know.' I whimper, looking away from him,
'It's okay. I'm only trying to help you talk about it. What did you do to your wrists?' he asks, taking my left hand and pushing my sleeve up, exposing the bruises,
'I told them I fell over. But I bang them against things.' I whisper,
'Why?' he asks, stroking a finger over the purple hue over where my veins show,
'Stress.' I shrug,
'Your bones must be fucked.' he sighs,
'Yeah well. I'm not crazy though. Why do you even care?' I mutter, pulling my arm away,
'Because I am crazy. And I can tell when others are screwed up as well.' he sighs,
'What the fuck happened to you? You were a prick for the few days I've been here.' I say softly,
'I care. I might not look like I do, but I care. I care more than the nurses ever will. Why do you think Zacky loves me so much? I care.' I snaps, taking a long drag of his cigarette,
'Sorry.' I whisper,
'Whatever. You're just like Matt and Vinny.' Matt and Vinny share a room which they barely ever leave, they scream and yell and attack the nurses. 'Just like them. Refuse to get fixed.' he mutters,
'Jack, I'm sorry.' I say sincerely, 'It's not that I don't want to 'get fixed', I just don't understand why I need fixing.' I add, running a hand through my hair,
'Don't be. You hate it here. I get it. I did too.' he says quietly,
'I'm scared Jack. I don't want to be here.' I whisper,
'I know.' he nods.
--
I wake up to find my head in someone's lap, I look up to see Jack smoking,
'Hey, you okay?' He asks and I nod, rubbing at my eyes tiredly,
'I feel like shit.' I mumble,
'You had too much whiskey. You passed out like an hour ago.' He says, helping me sit up, I glance at he clock,
'The next checks are gonna happen in an hour. You're lucky the don't check your room more than twice each night.' He chuckles, I nod and look at Jack, he has dark circles under his drooping eyes and he looks completely shattered,
'You look like you need to sleep.' I whisper,
'I'm pretty tired. I didn't wanna sleep with you passed out though. I didn't want something to happen to you.' He sighs and I smile softly, moving to stand up, 'Where are you going?' Jack asks,
'Taking you to bed.' I shrug,
'You don't have to. We can stay here a bit longer if you like.' He says,
'No, you're tired and you need to sleep. You've done enough for me tonight. I can survive going back to my room.' I smile, helping him up,
'As long as you're sure.' He whispers.