Boy, Interrupted
V
I look up when mine and Rian's bedroom door opens and see Zack standing there,
'Hey Zack. You okay?' I ask,
'Jack's gone missing again.' he mumbles and rushes over,
'Ri, you said he always comes back. When does he normally come back?' I ask and Rian half smiles at me,
'Few days. Few weeks. It varies.' he sighs,
'Okay. Do you want a hug Zack?' I ask and he nods, sitting on my bed carefully, I pull the childlike boy into my arms carefully and sigh,
'He'll be back soon. You know he will.' I whisper and Zack nods slowly.
(3 days later)
'How are you Alex?' Susie, my therapist asks,
'Shit.' I sigh,
'Why shit?' She says, jotting something down on her clipboard,
'I want Jack.' I mutter,
'We're trying to find him Alex. It's not our fault he ran away.' She shrugs,
'But it is! It is your fault! You don't care enough about him! He is so fucking broken but this shitty place doesn't help anyone! You keep us locked up all day, shoving pills down our throats and watching us bathe! It's so fucked up! More fucked up than half of the people here! You don't care about us! You don't care how we feel!' I shout, standing up, knocking my chair over as I do,
'Alex, sit down. Talk about how you feel.' Susie sighs,
'No! I want Jack! That's all I want! I don't want your help or your drugs, I want Jack!' I scream, watching as Susie goes to press the red button on her desk,
'No, no, Susie, please no!' I gasp,
'No Alex. You need to calm down.' Susie snaps.
--
Rian gasps when I get thrown onto my bed by two of the doctors, they leave quickly. 'What happened Alex?' The pathological liar asks, getting out of bed so he can help me get comfy,
'They gave me shocks.' I mumble,
'Fuck.' Rian whispers, sitting down on the edge of my bed, 'What did you do?' He sighs,
'Started yelling. Susie says it wasn't the staffs fault that Jack left, so I told her it was their faults because they don't give a shit about anyone. I started screaming and knocking stuff over... She pressed the button and I got hauled off. I yelled some more so they gave me shocks.' I say shakily,
'You really miss Jack, don't you?' Rian sighs,
'He made me feel safe... He made me feel sane.' I mutter,
'He'll be home soon.' Rian whispers,
'This isn't home Ri. This isn't home.' I say softly,
'Home is with people that care about you, you have friends here that care about you.' Rian says simply and I smile sadly at him.
(a few days later)
I sigh as I run my fingers over the fresh bruises on my wrists, I'm sat in the basement closet Jack showed me a few weeks ago. I really miss him.
They gave me shocks again today. I lashed out at Vanessa. I asked her if there was any news about Jack and she laughed, said he'd probably be dead in a ditch by now. She was joking, she knows Jack's smart. But I broke. I scream at her and slapped her. She laughed and shook her head at me as I got dragged to the punishment room. 'If you want to get out of here Alex, you should think about what you're doing.' She said. She was right. I was falling apart.
I put my cigarette to my lips and take a long drag, feeling the smoke lighten the weight I'm feeling in my head.
'I knew you'd be down here.' Someone whispers and I open my eyes to see Jack,
'When did you get back?' I gasp,
'Half an hour ago. They don't now I'm here. Thought I'd give them a shock in the morning so I snuck through the broken window in the music room. You okay?' he asks and I shrug, 'I got you some new fags. They're supposed to be really good.' he sighs, throwing two boxes at me,
'Thanks.' I mumble, picking them up,
'Fuck Alex.' he whispers, walking over and dropping to his knees in front of me and taking my hand, inspecting my bruised wrist, 'Did something happen while I was gone?' he asks,
'Yeah.' I whisper,
'Come here.' he sighs and wraps his arms around me tightly, I sigh shakily and rest my head on his chest, 'Tell me what happened.' He instructs,
'I kept asking if they had any news about you. I missed you. I needed you back here. I broke everytime they said something horrible about you missing. I screamed at my therapist. They gave me shocks for antisocial behaviour. I hit Vanessa. They gave me shocks for violence. That was only today. They really had the power up high... I'm still dizzy and shaky.' I explain and he kisses my temple,
'I'm so sorry.' He whispers, 'I shouldn't have left. I'm sorry. I just had to get away for a bit.' Jack sighs,
'Not your fault. I mumble,
'I know you hate it here. But you won't be here forever. You're not a lifer like me.' he whispers,
'You're here for life?' I gasp,
'Probably.' he sighs.
'Hey Zack. You okay?' I ask,
'Jack's gone missing again.' he mumbles and rushes over,
'Ri, you said he always comes back. When does he normally come back?' I ask and Rian half smiles at me,
'Few days. Few weeks. It varies.' he sighs,
'Okay. Do you want a hug Zack?' I ask and he nods, sitting on my bed carefully, I pull the childlike boy into my arms carefully and sigh,
'He'll be back soon. You know he will.' I whisper and Zack nods slowly.
(3 days later)
'How are you Alex?' Susie, my therapist asks,
'Shit.' I sigh,
'Why shit?' She says, jotting something down on her clipboard,
'I want Jack.' I mutter,
'We're trying to find him Alex. It's not our fault he ran away.' She shrugs,
'But it is! It is your fault! You don't care enough about him! He is so fucking broken but this shitty place doesn't help anyone! You keep us locked up all day, shoving pills down our throats and watching us bathe! It's so fucked up! More fucked up than half of the people here! You don't care about us! You don't care how we feel!' I shout, standing up, knocking my chair over as I do,
'Alex, sit down. Talk about how you feel.' Susie sighs,
'No! I want Jack! That's all I want! I don't want your help or your drugs, I want Jack!' I scream, watching as Susie goes to press the red button on her desk,
'No, no, Susie, please no!' I gasp,
'No Alex. You need to calm down.' Susie snaps.
--
Rian gasps when I get thrown onto my bed by two of the doctors, they leave quickly. 'What happened Alex?' The pathological liar asks, getting out of bed so he can help me get comfy,
'They gave me shocks.' I mumble,
'Fuck.' Rian whispers, sitting down on the edge of my bed, 'What did you do?' He sighs,
'Started yelling. Susie says it wasn't the staffs fault that Jack left, so I told her it was their faults because they don't give a shit about anyone. I started screaming and knocking stuff over... She pressed the button and I got hauled off. I yelled some more so they gave me shocks.' I say shakily,
'You really miss Jack, don't you?' Rian sighs,
'He made me feel safe... He made me feel sane.' I mutter,
'He'll be home soon.' Rian whispers,
'This isn't home Ri. This isn't home.' I say softly,
'Home is with people that care about you, you have friends here that care about you.' Rian says simply and I smile sadly at him.
(a few days later)
I sigh as I run my fingers over the fresh bruises on my wrists, I'm sat in the basement closet Jack showed me a few weeks ago. I really miss him.
They gave me shocks again today. I lashed out at Vanessa. I asked her if there was any news about Jack and she laughed, said he'd probably be dead in a ditch by now. She was joking, she knows Jack's smart. But I broke. I scream at her and slapped her. She laughed and shook her head at me as I got dragged to the punishment room. 'If you want to get out of here Alex, you should think about what you're doing.' She said. She was right. I was falling apart.
I put my cigarette to my lips and take a long drag, feeling the smoke lighten the weight I'm feeling in my head.
'I knew you'd be down here.' Someone whispers and I open my eyes to see Jack,
'When did you get back?' I gasp,
'Half an hour ago. They don't now I'm here. Thought I'd give them a shock in the morning so I snuck through the broken window in the music room. You okay?' he asks and I shrug, 'I got you some new fags. They're supposed to be really good.' he sighs, throwing two boxes at me,
'Thanks.' I mumble, picking them up,
'Fuck Alex.' he whispers, walking over and dropping to his knees in front of me and taking my hand, inspecting my bruised wrist, 'Did something happen while I was gone?' he asks,
'Yeah.' I whisper,
'Come here.' he sighs and wraps his arms around me tightly, I sigh shakily and rest my head on his chest, 'Tell me what happened.' He instructs,
'I kept asking if they had any news about you. I missed you. I needed you back here. I broke everytime they said something horrible about you missing. I screamed at my therapist. They gave me shocks for antisocial behaviour. I hit Vanessa. They gave me shocks for violence. That was only today. They really had the power up high... I'm still dizzy and shaky.' I explain and he kisses my temple,
'I'm so sorry.' He whispers, 'I shouldn't have left. I'm sorry. I just had to get away for a bit.' Jack sighs,
'Not your fault. I mumble,
'I know you hate it here. But you won't be here forever. You're not a lifer like me.' he whispers,
'You're here for life?' I gasp,
'Probably.' he sighs.