Things Have Changed for Me

Brendon's pov

"If anything happens to her, he's dead meat."

My phone starts ringing.

I check it to see pete...

"Trust me, I'm totally okay with that. I'll help," I mumble.

I ignore the call. It's just pete. Nothing important. I mean come on, pete.

Plus, I was happily sitting in starbucks getting to know the man known as Gerard Way because his little sister is dating my best friend... just looking out for him... maybe.

"You gonna get that," gerard asks, watching every move I make...it's strange... he does it to everyone... like he's plotting something in his head... like murder...

It's not murder... right? He's not that insane...

"Nope..." I pop the p. Maybe this was a little awkward but I'm a child... he's a man... I feel like a baby chick and he's a cat coming to get me... does he want to attack me? It's weird.

"Could be an emergency."

"It's just pete," I mumble. I turn off my ringer.

He shrugs, storing his coffee around.

"'I wanna drink it!' 'Pete, no!' 'Shut up patrick! You have no control over me!' 'And he's drinking it'" Gerard mumbles, talking about the time Pete ended up in the e.r. For drinking bad milk.

I start to feel guilty for ignoring it now...

"'Who wants me to light it on fire?' 'don't light fire to it, it'll explode.' 'I'm gonna do it' there it goes..." Aaaand the time Pete decided to light a box of firecrackers on fire with a blowtorch.

"Oh..." I stare over at my phone. Pete calls again...

"I'm just saying... sounds important to me..." He tips his cup over, only for it to be completely empty.

"Fine..." I pick up the phone. "What?"

"WHY THE CRAP DIDNT YOU ANSWER THERE ARE PEOPLE DYING!!!!"

I stare at Gerard, confused. He shrugs. I put the phone on speaker for him to hear.

"Hey, calm down. What wrong?" I try to keep myself from panicking along with him.

"PATRICK IS IN THE FREAKIN HOSPITAL GETTING SEWN UP AND CUT OPEN AND IVE HAD TO GIVE SO MUCH BLOOD AND YOURE NOT ANSWERING YOUR FREAKIN PHONE?! THIS THING IS COMPLETELY USELESS IF YOU WONT ANSWER!"

"Wait, wait, patrick is in the hospital," Gerard asks, stepping in.

"YES," pete sounds really scared... I've never heard so much fear in his voice before...
This is bad.

"Was my sister there?!"

"What happened," I ask, starting to hyperventilate.

"IT WAS A SUICIDE ATTEMPT! I MADE HIM DO IT! IM SO TERRIBLE! OH! HERE HE IS! Oh my gosh! Is he okay?! You don't know! What do you mean you don't know?! I gotta go! Be here!"

"ASAP," I mumble. I hang up. "Come on."

I get up, worry and frustration fills me. Why would he do such a stupid thing? Why didn't I see it coming?

I get in the junk I call a car. It's a crappy car but all that I could afford. It works, right? That's all that's needed. As long as it gets me to the hospital.

Gerard finds his way in it. Looking around like he had stepped in a dumpster.

"You think he's okay," I ask, loosening my grip on the wheel as I start the car. "He's got to be... right?"

"I can't imagine a pete... without patrick... You don't think...," Gerard looks seriously freaked. "No, no! No! Patrick will be fine! Pete won't do a thing!" Gerard looks so unsure at his words. It's sad...

He can't think that patrick isn't going to make it... he's the one that is positive at this kind of stuff... at least he seemed that way... he looks... lost?

I find the way to the hospital. Complete silence all the way there. Of course, we get there after Evan, meaning I'll be getting yelled at again.

Great.

I can't find Ryan's car... or Andy's... or Joe. I know they just got back in the state. Why aren't they here?

I jump out of the car, running in before Gerard even gets out of the car... strange kid... why isn't he getting out? Does he not want to be seen with me?

I look closer and notice he's on his phone... maybe he's telling the others? I don't know...

I put on a cool, not panicked expression, and walk in.

"Excuse me, what is the room I could find Patrick stump in? It would be Patrick S-t-u-m-p. I think."

"Patrick, yes. Room-"

"Bden," I hear ryan call I look over to see him waving me over... also on his phone. What is wrong with all the people using their phones? Geez...

I run over to him. He grabs my arm, pulling me into the elevator.

"No... no- no! Spence, he's awake. We just don't know the recovery situation. Yes I am aware I'm not making since because you're making me nervous!" I snort at his conversation with who appears to be spencer. He elbows me.

"When are you coming back? No! That's too long! Don't yell at me! Yell at Brendon. He is standing right here!"

"No, ry, I'm fine. Just tell him I said hi and that I miss him... kind of." Thank God the elevator beeps, getting me out just in time. I don't wanna be yelled at by Spencer.

"Go down the left, take the third right, then the fifth door on the right. That's him. Pete and evan are in there. Patrick is kinda half awake."

"Thanks," I hug him. I missed his hugs he doesn't give them to me as much anymore.

"Go, go, go!" I nod and follow the directions I was given... it was the fifth door on the third right... right? Or was it the fifth right and third door? Fifth door... I hope.

I knock, gently as I enter.

And it was the right door thank goodness.

"Thank God you're here," pete whispers. "It took you forever."

"I got lost... hey, patty... how you feelin?" I walk over, playing with his hair.

"Eh," he mumbles. He looks like he's about to fall asleep again. Bandages go all up his wrists... both of them. He looks so pale and unhappy.

A weak smile spreads across his face... not a real one though...

"I hate you, pete," he mumbles. Pete looks like a mess... Hair pulled at, fingernails bitten down till they bleed, eyes are red, he looks so tired. poor guy... he kisses Patrick's hand, which he's holding on to as tight as he can without breaking it.

"No you don't," pete whispers. Something's happening there... it's a little weird... It's like you've been waiting for it to happen for so long and you never thought it would and then it does and you feel confused...

"Hey," Evan waves. I smile at her.

"Hey," I wave back.

"My brother with you," she asks with a soft voice.

"He was on the phone when I left him... are you... are you wearing a bra?" Why not tease her. Maybe lighten the mood? I feel to awkward.

"Of course I am," she says, kind of covering herself up a little.

"No, I don't think you are," pete joins in with a devious smile.

"You guys wouldn't even know what a bra is!"

"I have a sister... Ive seen a fair share," pete says, defending what he knows.

"My sister left hers in weird places," I mumble. Patrick lets out a small, weak laugh. I shrug. "It's so weird."

"Were you... you were with Ryan..." pete says, awkwardly.

"Leave me alone," Evan whispers with a blush.

"Gerard's gonna be so mad," patrick says with a bigger smile. Evan rolls her eyes.

"Gerard... isn't gonna find out. After all, I was at the gym." She smirks, proudly.

"That's were he thinks you were? Oh my gosh. You lied to him!" I take in interest in the fact that she lied. She doesn't seem like the kind of girl to do that.

"It was more to Mikey," she she mumbles. She throws used tissue at me.

"Ewe," I yell, throwing it back.

"Pete used it! He was crying and your his friend so it wants you." She throws it back at me.

"So you aren't my friend," pete asks with a frown and fake cries.

"Not when a used tissue is being thrown around," she says sticking out her tongue.

"I feel loved."

Patrick squeezes his hand. "Shh I love you."

"Patrick made him cry," I say, throwing it at patrick.

"Ewe! No! It's Pete's!" Pete takes it from Patrick. They're so cute sometimes... it's weird... "I'm tired," patrick whines.

"Yeah, because you swallowed a whole bottle of pills." Pete starts to play with the covers, not making eye contact with the kid in front of him.

"Hey, the past is the past. It's time to mo- hey, gee..." Patrick glares at Evan.

"Oh, patrick. You sound terrible." He hugs Patrick, being the strange guy he is, it looks so awkward.

"I feel that way too," patrick barely whispers. Gerard smiles at him. A small smile but a smile.

"I'm just glad you're well enough to be awake." Gerard goes and takes a seat next to evan by the window. She lays her head on his shoulder. The room gets quite. Awkward quiet. The silence of pity and hospital fumes everyone hates that gag you and makes everything feel worse than it ever was. Of course, there isn't much worse than this situation.

I feel sick. It's so uncomfortable.

"Your own... personal Jesus," Gerard says, plainly.
"Someone to hear your prayers, someone who cares."

"Your own," Evan and Gerard say, the same way, same time. No emotion. Nothing. "Personal Jesus, someone to hear your prayers. Someone who's there."

Ryan walks in, standing next to me, getting the vibe, not speaking.

"Feeling unknown
And you're all alone
Flesh and bone," Evan sings. Gerard harmonizes and pete hums, softly.

"By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I'll make you a believer," Ryan joins.

After that, she just stops. Everyone stops.

"Spencer said hi," Ryan whispers.

I miss him," I mumble.

He nods. "Me too..."

"Ry," Evan says, motioning him over. He falls for it, walking over like she has him under a spell. I enjoyed when Ryan falls for a girl because he always falls hard. She pulls on his arm, making him lean in for her to whisper something in his ear. He blushes a bright red. Really bright. It's so cute. I sound so gay! Psh! Everyone knows that's what i am. I'm gay.

She pulls his scarf, pulling him into a kiss. I just wait for her to start shoving her tongue down his throat. It's kind of gross... but they're cute.

I look over to see Pete and Patrick deeper in a make out session then those two. What is with the love in the room? It's a hospital! That's so gross ew.

I stare at Gerard. He gives me a look, making a kissy face at me, then winking...

Is he asking for me to shove my tongue down his throat like the others? Well... that wouldn't be the worst thing... not at all.

He gets up, hitting my shoulder as he walks out the door kinda signaling me.

I follow him. He goes outside, I follow. Out to the parking lot where I find him smoking a cigarette. I sit on the ground, pulling out my own pack and frown at Gerard... I left my lighter at home...

He hands me the one he started, seconds ago.

I give him a confused look.

"Take it... you're moving in with my sister. You need the money. Just keep Ryan out of the bedroom when she's in it... or any room.... Don't leave them alone. My sister tries getting away with stuff she isn't ready for." He pulls off his jacket. It's a nice jacket... smells like cigarette now.

"Are you sure she's the one that isn't ready? What if it's you... who isn't ready?" I look up at him.

He looks me in the eye. Just standing there. He takes a seat right next to me.

"Maybe... I'm not," he whispers.

"You know somethin," I ask, looking the other way.

"What?"

I place the cig in my mouth, take in it all. Life. Such a weird thing, huh?

"I think she's ready... she was raped. She needs something real..."

"Was she?" He didn't know?

"She seems to have lead me to believe," I mumble.

I see Ryan and Evan walk to the car.

"They're leaving," I state, looking over at Gerard. He shrugs.

"Date night," he mumbles. I stare at him.

"You... would you ever date a guy?" Maybe we could go out sometimes... or...

"No..," he says bluntly. Of course. Well yay.

That was a short conversation... thanks...

"Frank would," he whispers.

"Would he?"

"He never has said it out loud but..."

"I was gonna say, if you were, we could have a nice four-"

"You are talking about my baby sister!"

"FOUR ON FOUR DATE," i yell over him.

"Oh...You sound like a teenage girl...," he blushes. Am I making him nervous?

"Maybe I am... and they're making out in Ryan's car..."

"No they aren't..."

"You're right, I was joking."
I turn around to Gerard right in front of my face. I blush.

"Look over... there."

I look to where he seems to be pointing. Nothing...

"What do you mean," I ask, confused.

I feel his hand on my chin. I smile really big. I like this a lot.

"That car," he points. I notice where he's pointing and nod. "That car carries a woman going in labor, a dog, and another lady. Now think about how the dog is going to be left in there. It's really cold out, right? Well it's colder in that car. The dog is going to freeze... it's a small dog, close to the ground with short hair. Cold air falls. Would you say that's abusive to the poor dog? Why would they bring it? They didn't need to."

I've never thought that way when looking at a dog in a car... or anything...

"What are we to do," I ask. Gerard shrugs.

"Not our responsibility. When that dog dies, it'll be their fault. They'll cry for it and get another to be treated the same. That's how the world works. It's torture to other things to find happiness for yourself."

"That's terrible... I wish I could take it..."

"I don't know...," he whispers and let's go of me. I take a drag and spot 2 familiar figures.

Andy and Joe.

I grab Gerard's hand and pull him over to them.

"Hey, you guys seen him," Joe asks.

"Yeah. He's doin okay. Pete's trying to keep him awake but I don't know how much longer that can go."

"Did we miss much? We were in New York. We got here as fast as we could. It looks like we... missed something..." Joe nods to our hand that are intertwined. I let go as fast as possible and blush.

"Nothing... well... Pete did kiss patrick... but gossip later. Cmon." I take them back to Patrick's room. He's barely awake but that's still awake.

"'S He okay," andy asks. Pete nods, watery eyes.

"Yeah," he whispers.

"Pete," patrick asks, barely able to speak again.

"Yes, patty," he asks, a tear falling down his cheek.

"I lo-lo-loooove..."

Silence.

Patrick has fallen asleep right there.

"I'm scared to let him sleep," pete whispers. I stare at andy. He traces a heart shape with his fingers.

I smile. It's cute.

"He needs to sleep," I mumble. I feel Gerard's hand slip back into mine.

"He'll be okay," gerards voice startles me. I think I really like this. A lot.

"I love you too, Patrick," Pete whispers, kissing his head.