The Things That You've Been Dreaming
1/1
"Cass," I whispered, tapping the short girl on the shoulder. I was unbelievably nervous to ask what I was about to, but this was Cass for Christ's sake. Her reaction would likely be shock at worst. "Cass, I need a tampon."
"Dude, what?" she asked, confusion apparent on her face.
"I don't have time to explain. I'm going on in five. Just give me one, I'll elaborate later."
With the confused look, Cass handed me a long round package and I hurried to the bathroom to deal with this stupid fucking problem.
After a few more weeks, I'd never have to worry about it again.
"Baltimore, how the fuck are you?" I yelled into my mic, receiving hundreds of screams in return. "This song is called To Live and Let Go."
The show was over and I was relieved to be home after five months on tour. I just wanted to get home and see Lisa and Baz and Peyton, and luckily for me, Rian, Zack, and Jack seemed to understand that. Consequently, I wasn't forced to go out and party.
When I got home, the only light on was the one in the living room. When I walked in, Lisa was asleep on the couch with Baz lying on her stomach and Peyton curled up at the side of the couch. I took a quick picture, then draped her in a blanket and kissed her forehead.
On my way out of the room, I turned off the light and made my way upstairs to our bedroom.
@AlexAllTimeLow: This is home.
I attached the picture to the end and set my phone down on the nightstand before turning off the light and going to sleep.
"Good morning, baby," Lisa said when I walked into the kitchen the next morning. "Why didn't you wake me up when you got home?"
I walked over and kissed the top of her head.
"You looked so cute and peaceful, I didn't want to bother you," I said, then sighed. "Lis, I have to tell you something."
"What is it, Lex?"
"It's just that...well, I'm really sorry I've been putting off telling you, but I was hella scared about how you'd react but then I realized it was ridiculous. I'm getting surgery in a few weeks. Two surgeries, actually."
"Baby, oh. Why didn't you tell me? Are you sick or something?"
"I...well...like," I sighed, getting flustered at my struggle. "Give me a second, this is really hard to say. My parents are the only ones who know."
"It's okay, baby. Take your time. Fuck," she looked like she might cry and it tore at my heart. "Is it cancer?"
"No, no, nothing like that. I...I guess it's better that I just show you."
My hands were shaking as I took off my shirt to reveal the binder around my chest.
"I just...this is why we never had sex. I was scared that you'd think it's weird that I'm really a girl."
Once I said it, I stood there anxiously and played with the hem of my shirt, which had already been removed.
"Lex, why didn't you just tell me? I'm kind of mad that you kept this from me for ten fucking years, but I would have supported you. And for the record, you're not really a girl. You're as much of a boy as anyone."
"Do you not think it's wrong?" I asked anxiously.
"Of course not, Alex. I love you. You being transgender doesn't change that," Lisa said, hugging me. "I'll be there to hold your hand the whole time no matter what."
"Dude, what?" she asked, confusion apparent on her face.
"I don't have time to explain. I'm going on in five. Just give me one, I'll elaborate later."
With the confused look, Cass handed me a long round package and I hurried to the bathroom to deal with this stupid fucking problem.
After a few more weeks, I'd never have to worry about it again.
"Baltimore, how the fuck are you?" I yelled into my mic, receiving hundreds of screams in return. "This song is called To Live and Let Go."
The show was over and I was relieved to be home after five months on tour. I just wanted to get home and see Lisa and Baz and Peyton, and luckily for me, Rian, Zack, and Jack seemed to understand that. Consequently, I wasn't forced to go out and party.
When I got home, the only light on was the one in the living room. When I walked in, Lisa was asleep on the couch with Baz lying on her stomach and Peyton curled up at the side of the couch. I took a quick picture, then draped her in a blanket and kissed her forehead.
On my way out of the room, I turned off the light and made my way upstairs to our bedroom.
@AlexAllTimeLow: This is home.
I attached the picture to the end and set my phone down on the nightstand before turning off the light and going to sleep.
"Good morning, baby," Lisa said when I walked into the kitchen the next morning. "Why didn't you wake me up when you got home?"
I walked over and kissed the top of her head.
"You looked so cute and peaceful, I didn't want to bother you," I said, then sighed. "Lis, I have to tell you something."
"What is it, Lex?"
"It's just that...well, I'm really sorry I've been putting off telling you, but I was hella scared about how you'd react but then I realized it was ridiculous. I'm getting surgery in a few weeks. Two surgeries, actually."
"Baby, oh. Why didn't you tell me? Are you sick or something?"
"I...well...like," I sighed, getting flustered at my struggle. "Give me a second, this is really hard to say. My parents are the only ones who know."
"It's okay, baby. Take your time. Fuck," she looked like she might cry and it tore at my heart. "Is it cancer?"
"No, no, nothing like that. I...I guess it's better that I just show you."
My hands were shaking as I took off my shirt to reveal the binder around my chest.
"I just...this is why we never had sex. I was scared that you'd think it's weird that I'm really a girl."
Once I said it, I stood there anxiously and played with the hem of my shirt, which had already been removed.
"Lex, why didn't you just tell me? I'm kind of mad that you kept this from me for ten fucking years, but I would have supported you. And for the record, you're not really a girl. You're as much of a boy as anyone."
"Do you not think it's wrong?" I asked anxiously.
"Of course not, Alex. I love you. You being transgender doesn't change that," Lisa said, hugging me. "I'll be there to hold your hand the whole time no matter what."