We'll Carry On

It's been a week since Alex entered his coma. As each day went by, his mind kept eating away at him, playing with his emotions. It kept conjuring up horrible scenes involving Jack, from him making out with someone else to him being relieved that Alex is dead. He was struggling to keep a grasp on reality when all these terrible thoughts were thrown into the picture.

By now, Alex had realised that he was alive. Very much alive, in fact. He's certain that dead people don't have strange dreams about the person they're in love with. No matter how aware he was of the situation, Alex couldn't wake up from this state. He's tried and tried but nothing has worked.

The brown haired boy sighed in despair as he watched yet another dream revolving around Jack falling in love with Tay. Of course, it wasn't real, but it hurt all the same. The fact that he can't touch or speak to anyone is making the entire coma situation more unbearable than it already is.

"When am I waking up? Get me out of my mind!" Alex yelled, clenching his hair in his fists. Quiet sobs began to escape from his mouth, gradually growing louder. He's had enough of this - all Alex wants is to wake up and just see everyone he loves again, without being ignored or invisible.

-x-

"It's been a week, why isn't Alex awake yet?" Jack fired at the doctor as soon as he entered the room. The tall man looked taken aback by the teenager's demand.

"Well Mr Barakat, your friend appears to have some head injuries, which is delaying the waking up process," he answered "Alex must've fell in the bathroom and hit his head, or something like that"

"Will he die??" Jack panicked. He's only just realised that he's in love with Alex, he can't lose him now, not like this.

"Probably not-"

"Probably?? There's a chance that he'll die??"

"Well yes, but it's very miniscule"

Even if it's only a small chance, there's still a possibility that Alex won't make it. Jack sat down in one of the chairs and sighed deeply, burying his face in his hands. This can't be happening! For the past week, the dark haired boy hadn't eaten or slept properly. He's been distancing himself away from his friends and just sulked away in the tree house every lunch and break time. He knows it's not healthy to live like this, but he can't help but feel miserable. Imagine how horrible it would be if his last memory of Alex was sobbing beside his hospital bed.

"You could try speaking to him, it can work on some occasions?" The doctor suggested, feeling sorry for him. Jack considered it. It's better than nothing. But what should he say?

"Um, hi Lex! Really Jack, that's the best you can do? Ugh, what do I say?" During Jack's struggle, the doctor had left the room, whether to see another patient or get away from the dark haired boy, who knows? Jack's words haven't done anything to stir Alex from his slumber. What's the point anyways? Everything always goes wrong in Jack's life. Just when things are looking up, something happens and ruins it all. In this case it's Alex. Jack finally had him back after 3 years, but now he's in a coma he may never wake up from. What's the point of anything? All Jack wants is for Alex to wake up. Even if he wakes up with amnesia, or brain damage or something, as long as he's living and breathing healthily, Jack doesn't care.

"This isn't fair, for you or for me," he sobbed quietly, holding Alex's hands in his "All I wanted was you, and only you. But look where we are now, I'm barely even alive and you're practically dead. Aren't we a mess, huh? Lex, wake up, please. I just want to see your pretty eyes or cute smile one more time, that's all I want"

No response. No movement, change of breathing, form of speech, nothing. Jack was now done with life. It's been nothing but filled with false hope and disappointment. Why even try anymore? The only person who actually cared the most, who actually made the effort to be part of his life was Alex. But where was he now? Oh yeah, fucking half alive on a hospital bed!

"This isn't fair!" He choked the words out, the cries becoming less miserable and more angry. It's true though, this entire situation is completely not fair.

-x-

Alex "woke up" in his bed again, letting out a heavy sigh. How wonderful, another terrible dream awaits him. Regardless of whether he stays in the house or not, somehow something bad always happens.

"I'm going crazy, I swear to God" the brown haired boy rubbed his eyes and got out from under the covers. The only upside to these reoccurring dreams is that Alex can just walk around in his underwear and no one will care. Mainly due to the fact that no one can see him.

From downstairs, Alex heard a door opening. Weird, who the fuck comes home at 10:37am? It wasn't his parents, the footsteps plodding around were too light and timid. The person must be a tiny little fairy princess or something to be walking this quietly. Alex walked into the hallway to see who the person who could potentially be robbing his home was.

A familiar head of black and yellow hair traisped across the carpeted floor, looking around nervously.

'What is Jack doing in my house?' The fact that there was a key under the mat outside was no secret, but what would Jack possibly want in here? The dark haired boy continued walking until he reached Alex's room. A depressing sigh escaped his lips as he entered. Curiosity getting the better of him, Alex followed.

Tears threatened to spill out as Jack ventured further into the room. His long fingers ran along the poster infested wall, memories of Alex flooding back. The brown haired boy stood in the doorway, guilt and misery swimming through his eyes as he watched. Jack picked up a discarded hoodie that had been carelessly thrown onto the bed. It was Alex's favourite hoodie, pretty much the only one he ever wears. The dark haired boy held the black fabric to his face, sobbing into it, inhaling Alex's sweet scent and curling into a ball on top of the bed.

"Why did you leave me Alex?" He choked out "Fuck, I only just realised how much I really loved you, and now you're gone! I've tried to move on, to get over it, but how can I when my heart is still stuck on you? This is all because of people who treated you like shit when you deserved more than that, people who'd written you off, who knew absolute shit about you. I swear, if I catch the ones who hurt you, I hope God looks away. You meant everything to me, and it hurts! It hurts so fucking much!"

'This is hurting me too! Seeing you in my dreams but not being able to touch or speak to you kills me inside! Jack, I'm so in love with you, words can't even begin to describe it. I'm so sorry I put you through this, I've just been through so much shit, I thought ending everything would help. But look at what's happened, all I've done is break you even further. You're so beautiful and all I've done is strip away everything you had left. For all these things I've done, I'm sorry. I love you with everything I have Jack! I know you can't hear me and that's the worst part...' Alex cried out, letting out all of his emotions. He stepped towards the sobbing boy and attempted to draw circles on his back. Obviously it didn't work, causing Alex to hurt even more.

-x-

Jack's head shot up immediately as he heard small movement coming from the bed. Alex's head had turned to the side slightly, an expression of pain on his face. The dark haired boy almost fell out of his chair. He moved! Talking to him really does work then!

"Lex, you can hear me? Wake up! Please, do it for me!" He shuffled his chair closer to the bed, shouting words into Alex's ear, hoping for another reaction. On the heart monitor, Alex's heartbeat increased, the green lines climbing up rapidly. A small smile creeped onto Jack's face, growing into a delighted grin.

'Yes! I have my Alex back!'

-x-

"So when's the funeral then?" Rian asked, a solemn expression cemented on his face. The group were huddled in their usual spot, quietly mourning for their dead friend. The "dead friend" (Alex) was just observing the conversation, feeling extremely guilty. Imagine if he had actually died; all this time he was selfish to think no one would care, that no one would be hurt. Of course, this is all just a scene his mind conjured up, but Alex felt horrible regardlessly.

Usually, the seven of them would be constantly smiling, joking around, rocking out to Sum 41, generally having a good time. But now? Tay and Jack was leaning into Jenna's shoulders, occasionally wiping their eyes on the blonde girl's hoodie. The blonde herself was silent for once, misery clogging up her throat. Austin and Alan hadn't looked up from the ground yet, and Rian and Zack exchanging sad glances from time to time.

"Friday," Tay sniffed in reply. Her response was almost inaudible since half her face was buried into Jenna "At 3"

This all felt so real. Alex kept reminding himself that it's just a dream, but every time he looked at Jack's tear stained face, everything fell apart again.

"Remember that tree house we all built when we were younger?" Austin said, a tiny smile tugging at his lips as the memory came flooding back.

"Oh yeah, Alex used to come and knock on our doors and practically force us to go up there" Zack chuckled slightly.

"Yeah, and when he'd bring his brother's iPod and we all had mosh pits to Metallica or whatever" Alan chimed in.

"We were definitely some hardcore 10 year olds" Jenna finally spoke up, feeling less upset now. In fact, everyone was now joking around and having a good time, recollecting all their good memories of Alex instead of crying. Everyone except for Jack, Alex had noticed. Unlike Tay, the dark haired boy was still curled up against Jenna, looking as sorrowful as ever.

"Oh my God, and that time when Alex and Jack fought over who got to write their name first!" Jack tensed up at this, however the others were too engrossed in the conversation to notice. Alex was outraged.

'How could they just ignore Jack like that? Clearly he's uncomfortable with the topic, yet they just keep talking!'

"Yeah, and then Jenna came up with Jalex! That was so cute!" Tay squealed.

"Alex and Jack were cute together to be honest" Jenna laughed, patting the dark haired boy's head. They all joined in, agreeing with Jenna. If Jack was uncomfortable before, words can't describe how he felt now. With embarrassment and anger, he pulled away from the blonde and stormed off.

"What the fuck, you assholes!" Alex yelled, forgetting that they can't hear him "Jack, wait!"

-x-

The door swung open, revealing Jenna, Rian and Zack, panting heavily. Jack looked up at them, unable to contain his joy.

"We came as soon as possible, what's going on?" Rian said between breaths.

"ALEX MOVED!" He exclaimed, the widest possible smile on his face, as if he'd won the lottery. His three friends also lightened up at the news. Without hesitation, they grabbed chairs and gathered around Alex's hospital bed, waiting in anticipation.

-x-

"I fucking hate them!" Jack yelled, throwing several punches at a nearby tree. It did hurt excruciatingly, but that was the least of his concerns.

"Jack, stop!" Alex pleaded uselessly. Jack's not going to hear him. The angered boy continued to punch the tree, causing his fists to bleed and sting.

"Jack. STOP!" The brown haired boy screamed, not caring that it'll make no difference. To his surprise, Jack lowered his aching hands and looked around in fear and confusion. Wait, he was able to hear Alex?

"What the fuck? Alex!?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"What...how...?" Jack sat down on the ground and buried his head in his blood covered hands, trying to figure out what exactly was going on. "This can't be happening! Haven't you heard the news that you're dead? This isn't possible!"

Alex decided to step out from behind the tree he was leaning against and walk towards the puzzled head of black and blond hair. Perhaps if he could hear him, maybe he could see him too?

"Jack, look up"

"N-no, this is just a hallucination...you're dead for fuck's sake!"

The brown haired boy let out a sigh, he'd forgotten how stubborn Jack could be. Instead, he kneeled down in front of him and used his fingers to lift up Jack's head. Jack's hazel eyes widened in disbelief, not able to comprehend the sight before him. Alex's warm chocolate eyes and gorgeous smile, right there in front of him.

'Is it even real?' Jack inquired to himself, too shocked to even speak. In that moment he didn't even care about anything anymore, everything he wanted was right there in front of him. The sick feeling in his stomach subsided and a massive grin stretched across his face.

"Jack? Say something" Alex said, panicking slightly at the dark haired boy's lack of response. Words weren't able to describe everything Jack was feeling. Instead, he held Alex's face in his palms and kissed him passionately.

To Alex, it was as if time had stood still, and there was no one else apart from him and Jack. He wasted no time in kissing back with equal passion and love and wrapping his arms around the other boy's waist. His heart rate began to pick up rapidly, as if it was about to burst with happiness. Alex shut his eyes and enjoyed the moment. All of a sudden, Jack's touch started to feel distant, almost like he was slipping away. Alex tried to force his eyes open but his eyelids felt heavy. What is going on?

-x-

The four best friends were starting to lose hope. Alex hadn't shown any sign of waking up for the past hour they've had their asses wedged into uncomfortable plastic chairs. Jenna tried her best to lighten the mood and cheer everyone up, but even the blonde girl couldn't erase the sadness that still hung in the air. A solemn silence had fallen upon them over the past few minutes, no one daring to speak up. The only sound was the deafening ticking of the clock hung on the wall, matching with the equally pale white and boring walls.

"What if he never wakes up?" Jack inquired out of the blue, his gaze fixed to the bed. He's not crying (he's done too much of that lately). Instead he felt empty; something inside his heart had died and he's in ruins. There's always the possibility Alex will never awaken. With every ray of hope comes a downpour of pessimism.

"Don't say that" Rian answered quickly, trying to dismiss the thought altogether.

"But its true, Ri," he replied bitterly "knowing how things usually turn out for us I'm surprised he's not dead already"

"Jack, shut up" Jenna scowled, not looking up from the ground. Truth be told, that were all thinking the same thing, but just didn't want to say it.

A loud and rapid piercing beep noise sliced through the silence, catching everyone's attention. Jack, Rian, Zack and Jenna immediately diverted their gazes from the ground to the hospital bed. The green line on the heart rate monitor went from almost flat to practically mountain ranges. Alex's breathing began to intensify and became louder. His eyebrows started to furrow and his eyelids were twitching, showing that he's trying to wake up.

"ALEX!" Jack yelled excitedly, quickly moving his chair closer. "Can you hear me?"

".....mm,..y-yeah.." the boy on the hospital bed murmered since he still felt very weak and tired.

"Yes! I'm so glad you're alive Alex, I really am," Jack smiled, holding one of Alex's hands in his "Can you open your eyes? Can you move?"

"J-Jack... k-kiss me.." Alex said, the ghost of a cheeky smile on his lips. Jack just chuckled quietly, before leaning over and placing his lips delicately onto the the other boy's. Alex felt too weak to properly kiss back, but just smiled against him instead.

"Awww!" The remaining three people in the room chorused at the same time, watching the "couple's reunion" or whatever you want to call it.

"Oh fuck off!" Jack flipped them off, but his laughter took away any seriousness that was intended. Soon after, the same doctor from earlier returned.

"I heard screaming, is everything alright?" He asked the four teenagers

"Alex is awake!" Jenna answered, unable to contain her joy.

"H-hell...yeah I am,.. b-bitches!" Alex contributed, making everyone laugh.

"By the looks of things, it seems like Alex will be able to go home tomorrow" the doctor announced the great news, before leaving the gang.

"T-thank God, I...c-can't wait to..get out of t-this s-shitty bed" Alex sighed in relief.

"As soon as you're let out we're gonna taking you somewhere really cool, yeah?" Jack suggested, looking to the others for approval.

"Yayy!" He cheered quietly "I'm s-so...tired...can I s-sleep?"

"Yeah sure, we'll leave you to it" Zack replied, him, Jenna and Rian standing up and leaving, after saying goodbye. Jack went to join them, but Alex held his wrist.

"Don't g-go.." he whispered "J-join me" And with that, Alex failed in being seductive and pulling back the sheets for Jack to crawl in beside him. Jack couldn't help but giggle.

"You're such a fucking loser, Lex"

"But I'm your fucking loser so you've gotta deal with it" he replied, this time with a wink and without a stutter.

"Oh no, poor me" he rolled his eyes whilst sliding in next to the brown haired boy and cuddling him to his chest. Alex murmered something along the lines of 'thank you' and 'goodnight' against his skin, before shutting his eyes again.

Jack took a moment to appreciate how amazing his life is. How he has the most adorable boy ever curled up in his arms, who actually likes him back. How he has a group of wonderful friends who will always be there for him. How every problem in his life is now unfolding and resolving, bit by bit. And to think that only a few years ago he wanted to die, but now he's never felt more alive. Placing a gentle kiss on the sleeping boy's face, Jack rested his head on Alex's, and drifted off into a calm and deep sleep.