We'll Carry On

Jack felt a twang of guilt as he left Alex crying in the bathroom, but quickly shook it off. Why was the brown haired boy so confusing? The one time Jack wanted to help, he wouldn't even say what's wrong! It was too late to go to second period now so the dark haired boy went to his usual hideout; the treehouse. It upsets him that the others don't come up here anymore. Jack beamed brightly when his destination came into view. It looked amazing with the warm golden sunlight painting over the wooden walls. He approached the trunk of the tree and traced his fingers along the messy scratching of their names. He lingered over the word Jalex for a few seconds, before proceeding to climb up the shaky ladder. Jack sat himself in his usual little corner and listened to music on his iPod to take his mind off of Alex. Something to cheer him up. But no, every song had to be a sad song, increasing the guilt further.

'You shouldn't have left him, that was kind of an asshole move' his mind wasn't helping either. It's true though. Jack should have stayed and found out what was wrong, or at least try to guess what was wrong. It was quite a coincidence that Alex cried after he said he liked someone...

"Does Alex like me?" The dark haired boy thought out loud, but quickly shook it away. Of course Alex doesn't like him! Why would he spend his time surrounded by girls if he did? Maybe a sad repressed memory popped into his mind or something.

Jack would be extremely frustrated if he did. Back when they were friends, he had feelings for the brown haired boy. He was close to even being in love with him. Then Alex left, without an apology or explanation.

Even if Alex did like Jack, Jack liked Jenna anyways. It was hard not to; she's kind, beautiful, funny and an overall badass. And her accent is pretty awesome. She helped him get through the depression he suffered from after Alex left, which caused the two to become very close.

However, no matter how much Jack daydreamed about Jenna, Alex kept invading his thoughts. How weird would it be if they dated? Imagine them looking at each other lovingly instead of with ice cold glares. Or having little movie nights on a Sunday, cuddled up under a warm blanket, taking in each other's soft embrace, before looking into each other's eyes and....woah, let's stop right there. Having Alex as a boyfriend would be disgusting, not cute and sweet. What was Jack's mind playing at here? Three years ago he wouldn't be complaining, but right now he wanted to do nothing more than erase those thoughts.

Faintly, the ringing of the school bell drifted along the forest air. It was break now, so everyone will most likely be looking for Alex and him. Deciding that he's missed enough school, Jack clambered down from the tree and reluctantly made his way back to the school grounds. He was only just exiting the school gardens before he heard his name being called

"Barakat!" Alan sighed in relief, jogging over to his dark haired friend

"Ashby!" Jack replied jokingly, but Alan ignored it

"Where were you? Jenna made us go round the whole school looking for you!" Jack blushed slightly at the fact that Jenna cared about him that much

"I was...calming down," It's not a total lie "Lets go tell Jenna she can call off the search party" The ginger boy nodded in agreement

-x-

"For fuck's sake!" Jenna cried out, punching a locker in frustration. It caused a considerably large dent in the metal as well as excruciating pain to her fist, but the blonde couldn't care less. Neither Jack or Alex were anywhere to be seen, and she was starting to panic. Jenna hoped that the two boys didn't have a huge fight, and did something stupid to themselves for relief. She knew that Jack used to self harm, and that Alex wasn't the best at handling his anger.

Jenna sighed and leaned on the wall to try and calm herself. She hated that she was so caring to people. That she got attached to people and their feelings too quickly. It always results in her breaking something (in this case the locker) or someone (in this case it would be Alex if he did anything to Jack). Suddenly, Jenna heard footsteps approaching her. She looked up and smiled in relief when she saw Alan accompanied by Jack.

"Thank God!" The blonde girl jumped up and embraced Jack in a hug. Without hesitation he hugged back.

"I'm happy to see you too!" He laughed, but she was far from amused. Jenna pushed him away from her.

"Where were you?" She said sternly, looking directly into his eyes "Do you know how worried we all were? I thought you went and did something stupid and I was worried sick!" Jack opened his mouth to apologise, but she silenced him

"Don't worry about saying sorry, it's fine. As long as you're alive and breathing, I'm happy. C'mon guys, let's go find the others and hopefully find Alex along the way" Jack tried to add in that he thinks he knows where Alex is, but Jenna took both of the boy's hands into hers and pulled them along the hallways before he could say a word.

-x-

Of course Alex didn't stay in the toilets. The first thing he did after Jack left was exit after him, but run in the opposite direction. Tears were still streaming from his chestnut eyes. There's no way he wanted to stay at school. He was going home.

"Young man, where do you think you're going?" The receptionist scowled as Alex walked out of the school gates

"Home!" He yelled back to her before continuing along the street. It was moments like these that make Alex really appreciate the fact that he lived close to the school. Within minutes he reached his front door. Pulling out his keys, he opened the door and went straight to his room, burying himself in blankets. Then the crying continued.

Why did he have to be in love with the one person who hates his guts? If only he loved one of the cheerleaders instead. They would go out with him in an instant. But no, his heart chose someone he can't have, and probably will never have. Anyways Jack likes someone else, probably Tay or Jenna, or even Austin. It's a possibility; Austin's tall and good looking, a perfect combination. It doesn't matter who it is, it just matters that it's not him.

Alex spent the rest of the morning/afternoon sobbing into his pillows. There's not a single word in the whole world to describe the hurt. After a while, he heard the doorbell ring. Ugh, his parents are home. This is not what he needs right now. Reluctantly, Alex lifted himself from his blankety fortress and opened the front door. He prepared a smile, but dropped it when he saw who was actually there.

Jenna was standing with her arms crossed, glaring furiously at a guilty looking Jack hanging his head down in shame. Jack must've told her what happened.

"Hi Alex," the blonde girl greeted him "Mr Barakat has something to say to you"

"Sorry" Jack mumbled, eyes glued to the ground

"Seriously Jack? After what you did, that's the best you can do? You know what? I think it's best that you two talk it out and kiss and make up or whatever"

Neither of the boys really wanted to, but there was no denying that Jenna was right. Anyways the "kiss" part intrigued Alex even though he knows she didn't mean it literally. The brown haired boy stepped back to let them in but Jenna didn't enter

"This is between you two, I don't want to be involved. Hope you guys work it out" she gave them both a quick hug before turning around and walking to (probably) her house. Alex closed the door.

"So...."

"So...."

"Alex, why did you cry when I told you I liked someone?" The dark haired boy looked at him, like he already knew the answer. Alex's mouth went dry. He wasn't the best liar, and he couldn't tell him the truth.

"I-I-I don't..uh..bad memories?" Jack just stared in disbelief. Of course he wouldn't believe that. Not even the mindless jocks with brains smaller than peas would take that shit.

"Please don't lie to me Lex," It's been years since Alex heard that nickname spill from Jack's lips. His eyes were sad and desperate now, yet his tone stayed defiant "Tell me the truth"

"Why should I?" Alex snapped back. Woah, where did that come from? "Every attempt I made to talk to you and be kind, you pushed me away! I wanted to make amends and be friends again because guess what Jack Bassam Barakat? I missed you! I have feelings too! I understand you were upset when I left, but I was sad too! Not being allowed to see you and being forced to socialize with those idiotic and mean jocks hurt me so much, I almost--" He stopped mid sentence. Alex's brain finally started functioning again and refrained from finishing that line. Jack doesn't need to know. No one needs to know. No one even cares enough to know.

"What did you do?" Jack sounded worried, scared, concerned. He had an idea of what he meant, but he didn't see Alex as someone who could be pushed that far. The brown haired boy was always headstrong and reckless. He's definitely become more weak and vunerable over the years. There was no reply to his question, only deafening silence. Jack took a few steps forward, so that he was looking Alex right in the eye, standing only centimeters apart.

"What did you do?"

"...I, uh...suicide. I almost committed...suicide Jack" he choked out, fighting back tears. "I'm so fucking pathetic. There are people in the world with no friends at all and then there's me who's willing to take my own life because I can't have the people I want. I'm so selfish--"

"Lex, stop--"

"I'M FUCKING SELFISH!"

"No you're not! Alex, you're a beautiful person. A funny, smart, kind, daring, amazing and beautiful person. I...don't hate you, I just wanted to hate you. Hating you made it easier to deal with the situation. I'm the selfish one, not you" To say Alex was shocked would be an understatement. Jack didn't hate him? Jack didn't hate him! He wanted to laugh and dance and kiss Jack on the lips right there and then. But of course he didn't. The dark haired boy's words swam through his mind.

'You're a beautiful person. Amazing and beautiful' Alex couldn't help but smile and blush, biting his lip in an attempt to hide his grin.

"Don't look too pleased with yourself" Jack said in a serious tone, but the glint of playfulness in his hazel eyes gave it away. Before long the two boys found themselves beaming wide, lost in each other's glittering irises.

"Sorry, it's just that no one's ever called me beautiful before" the brown haired boy broke eye contact and stared at the ground shyly. Jack lifted his chin with his fingers and once again they were staring into each other.

"Then everyone must be either blind or stupid" Without thinking, Alex leaned in slowly, fluttering his eyelids shut. His lips lightly pressed against Jack's soft ones. Jack tasted sweet, light, wonderful. This was so much better than his dream because this was actually happening. This is real! He swore that he felt Jack kiss back, even lighter than Alex had, before two hands splayed out onto his chest and pushed him back. Jack wore an expression of confusion and shock.

"What the fuck Lex? What the fuck was that?" He asked. Alex was paralyzed with fear. No! Just as he had gained his trust, Jack was going to push him away again. Literally, in this case.

"I-I-I...oh God, I--" Before he could explain, the front door opened, revealing Alex's parents.

"Oh hello Alex," Mrs Gaskarth smiled, but her face fell when she saw who was accompanying him "and Jack, how...nice to see you"