My Black Dog

I won’t apologise for digressing – I do that a lot. My attention span is that of goldfish sometimes. And speaking of my attention – it has now been brought to the customer, yelling in my ear, calling me a bitch, a slut etc. I didn’t mind being called a bitch or a slut. After all, I am bitchy. And I am a slut. Well, society has deemed me a slut, due to my craving for cock. But is there such thing as being a slut? I mean, sex is normal, isn’t it? After years of evolution, sex is perfectly normal. We are animalistic beings, and we need sex. What is the fucking problem? I am a female - that is the problem. Do men get this problem? No way. They can fuck whoever they want, and this is in no way as deplorable as me fucking someone.

So back to this prick, shouting down the phone to me. The call centre had a cacophony of noise that was making my migraine worse. To my left, Jane, the ginger headed angel was speaking loudly, forgetting that the customer could probably hear her fine, as she had a mic next to her mouth. The idiotic bitch. I look at her freckles and laugh under my breath. I look to my right to see Jay, the pretty boy who looks like he should be on some teen show. He wasn’t my type, as I am not in to the whole pretty boy scene. But would I fuck him? Sure thing I would. I take my attention from his styled blonde hair and blue eyes, and then I look down at his crotch, trying to make out the shape of his penis.

“Are you listening to me, you fucking daft cow?” Screamed the customer, bringing my attention back to my computer screen.

“I am listening to you, sir.” I respond in my telephone voice.

The deep voice trembled my ear again, “Well what the fuck are you going to do about it? Are you going to reimburse me? This bill is fucking astronomical!”

“In all due respect Mr Tamlin,” I began my un-thought out response, “Why do you have cable with us, if you cannot afford to pay it?” I had noticed him name on the screen for once.

“What the fuck… Did you just say to me?” He asked, flabbergasted.

I kept it cool, “We are going around in circles here, Mr Tamlin.” I noticed the time of 19:29 on the PC monitor. This meant one minute until break time. And I was not missing it for anyone. Not even this fucking prick. “Cable TV is a luxury, not a daily requirement in life. If you can’t afford the bill, then cancel the package, sir.”

There was a brief moment silence.

I continued, “Anything else I can help you with, Mr Tamlin?”

The call went dead. I was relieved by this. I opened up the case notes on his file, and typed out:

WHAT A FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!

I forced a smile, and then hit back space. I left no note. I thought if he had to call up again, he would get angry at explaining it to the next agent. This amused me.

Anyway, I signed out the system and grabbed my bag. I looked at Jane and made a signal for a fag break. To which she shook her head, and done the “wanker” sign to her phone. I smiled and nodded in acknowledgement. I then felt a hand on my shoulder followed by a voice saying, “Break time, Careen?”

I knew it was Jay. I turned around to face him, “Aye.”

He smiled and jested, “You smoke, small tits?”

“Aye.” I put my head down.

“You alright?” he enquired.

I smiled to myself. He thought there was something wrong with me, but what he never knew is that I was looking at his crotch again. I raised my head and said, “Aye, sure thing.”

He smiled, “Let’s go then. We only have fifteen minutes, eh.”

I nodded, and followed him out of the suite. As we approached the toilets, I said, “Two minutes, Jay.”
“Okay.” He said, patting his trouser pockets. “You have a spare fag? I left them at the desk.”

Nodding, I took the packet out of my handbag and threw them to him. “There is two. Save one for me.”

He smiled, turned around and began to walk down the stairs to the ground floor.

I went in to the toilet, and went over to the sinks then stared in to the mirror. I forced a smile to myself, and then grabbed the happy pills from my hand bag. Citalopram 40Mg were labelled on them. I had only been on these for a year. I suffered from depression from as far back as I could remember, but only addressed the issue with Dr Allen, my GP last year.

I put one of the pills in to my mouth, switched the tap on and bent down to drink directly from the tap, in order to swallow my tablet. I then stand straight and look directly in to the mirror again, wiping the excess water from the side of my mouth. I remember Jay’s comment about my small tits. I look at them in my reflection and then start to push the, up. They are a B cup. I then thought, Ah fuck it. They are perky as fuck. I then take in the sight of my dark brown hair, shoulder length, slender face and thin figure.

I grab my bag and leave the toilet.

At the smoking area, Jay is the only person there. He offers me my own cigarette back to smoke. I nod as a gesture of thanks and light my cig. I deep a slow long draw and inhale it in to my lungs.
“You don’t chat much, do ya?” Jay asked.

I exhale, “Only if there is something worth saying.”

He laughed and then takes a step closer to me. “You hardly say anything at all. You have worked here for 3 months and hardly spoke a word. Tonight was the first time you have spoken to me.”
I eye him up and down, “Well, a conversation is a two way street.”

“Meaning?” He asked.

“Meaning,” I reply, “You haven’t even tried speaking to me before.”

He nods his head, smiling. “No one can argue with that.”

We stand in silence, as I take glimpse of the shape of his cock, through his jeans as he shakes his leg. I then look up to face him again. He is in no way attractive, but I am horny as fuck. And I would literally fuck him sideways.

The thing is, I should be sexually satisfied. I had sex this morning with Ewan. He isn’t bad in the sack, on the contrary, he is a fucking animal. I was standing by the kitchen unit, pouring the milk in to my cereal when I felt his hands around my waste, lifting my nighty up revealing my naked lower body. Then feeling his already hard dick slide between my legs from behind, the head rubbing against my vagina, making me wet.

“Careen?” Jay asked bringing my attention back to reality.

“What?” I snapped back at him.

He takes a step back at my harsh response. “Whoa. Was just saying we should head back up. You zoned out there.”

I noticed my cigarette was burning out. So I attempted one last draw and stubbed it out completely. “Yeah we need to get back to work, don’t we?”

He smiled, and led the way back in to the building. I knew that this shift was close to an end. I was going to finish at 9pm. Walking in to the building though, all I kept thinking about is what was going to happen after the shift ended. Ewan was working night shift, so I was on my own. I knew there would only be two things on the agenda tonight;

I would either stay in the flat, wondering if life was truly worth living, as this was a daily occurrence. Feeling empty inside and unsatisfied with where my life was heading. Or seeing as it was a Friday night; I could go out drinking, end up back at some guy’s house and fuck him senseless. After all, what Ewan doesn’t know, doesn’t hurt him…

I’ll go with the latter.