Like You Do

march 18th, 2013.

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"So, I hear you got accepted into UC Davis."

I heard the squeak of the mechanism that held the seat to the base of his ratty old computer chair protest as he spun in it repeatedly, his bare feet thudding softly on the worn, brown carpet as he propelled himself around.

"Yeah, I did." I turned my head away from him, not because I was embarrassed, but because he was making me physically ill with his spinning. "Can you sit still for a sec? You're gonna make me hurl."

He chuckled, picking up a small, stuffed box and tossing it at me, hitting me square in the stomach.

"Maybe if you weren't hanging upside-down like a doof, you wouldn't feel so sick."

Clutching at my stomach in mock-pain, I sat up on the bed and turned to face him, sticking my tongue out as far as I could.

"Maybe if your face wasn't so deformed, you'd have a girlfriend." I sniffed, reaching behind my head with both hands and re-adjusting my haphazard, brown-locked bun.

He rolled his eyes and scoffed.

"C'mon, Gee. You and I both know that's not in the cards for me." He swivelled away from me momentarily, facing his desk and banging away furiously at his keyboard.

I sighed, knowing it would be at least a good five minutes before we could return to our conversation. Scooting myself farther onto his bed, so that my back could rest against the wall, I pulled my scrub-clad knees to my chest, circling my arms around them to keep them there. I chewed my bottom lip and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

"Mark?" I whispered, fidgeting, impatience with his silence and guilt from my previous words finally getting to me.

"Mmmmm?" The sharp click-clack of his nimble fingers ceased. I could almost hear the sound of his eyebrow raising out of curiosity, and, though I couldn't see his face, I was certain that it was happening.

"I'm sorry. That was a really low blow."

"It was." The click-clack resumed. I sighed and let my forehead meet my knees, mentally screaming at myself for being such an ass.

"Anyway, back to the matter at hand."

I lifted my head and stared at his back. He was actually speaking to me while working. This was new.

"Wha-"

"UC Davis?" He cut me off before I could fully comprehend what we were getting back to. "You giving it any serious consideration?"

I moved my eyes to the ceiling for a moment, trying to find the proper words to describe my feelings on the whole thing.

"I mean, of course I'm giving it consideration. You know I've wanted to see someplace besides the state of Ohio for a long time." He chuckled and turned back around to face me, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.

"But?"

"But," I sighed, letting my legs fall Indian style on the bed and bringing a hand to my forehead, "it's California, Mark. I mean, I get lost on weekend trips to Cleveland for crying out loud. And, I mean, O.S.U. is right here and it's just as good of a school, and, seriously, I already have my tech degree, so I mean, why do I even need any more school, right? I must look crazy, to want to uproot everything to move to another state and go through even more school, for something medical, at that? I mean, c'mon, I..."

I trailed off as I felt weight settle to my left on the bed, and then felt arms circle my midsection and wet, warm lips meet my forehead. Damnit. I couldn't even pretend to be upset with him. In that instant, all of the stress, anxiety, inadequacy, and worry left my body. I slumped into him and waited, inhaling the smell of fabric softener and Old Spice.

After a few moments, he removed his lips and replaced them with his forehead, staring me right in the eye.

"Better?"

"Better." I admitted, taking a few deep breaths. "Thank you."

He leaned back and winked at me. "What're friends for?"

I laughed, nodding my approval, and slumped so that my head could rest against his shoulder. He rested his cheek against my head and we stayed like that for a while, lost in our own thoughts.

It was Mark who broke the silence.

"You're not crazy. Well, I mean, not for having a goal and a dream. And definitely not for wanting to go to school. Even if it is far away."

"I'm scared." My voice cracked and it came out as a squeak. "I won't know anyone out there."

He fell silent for about ninety seconds before replying in a whisper.

"You'll know me."