Status: Complete
Terrible Things
Coming Home
Coming home from tour always made me the happiest I could ever be. Well close to it at least. My son was my home, my heart, my everything. Being on the road away from him makes my heart hurt. On the flight back to PA my chest was fluttering with excitement.
My dad picked me up from the airport so I could surprise my mom. She never remembers when tour is over. I could not for the life of me get my legs to stop shaking. As the car rolled up to the house, and walked through that door, I felt like all was right with the world. All but one thing, that is.
“Hey mom do you happen to know where I left my little monster? I can’t seem to find him anywhere…” I shouted to the living room where I knew they’d be.
“CHRISTOPHER! Oh I did not expect you to be home” Mom said as she got up to hug me. Little man wasn’t far behind.
“DADDY!!! I misses you so much! Grandma wouldn’t let me have cookies or chocolate or candies or nothin’” he pouted as I lifted him to my arms and held him as tightly as I could. God how I’ve missed this boy. “I was scared you might have left me here and went to stay with mommy” That. That hit me really hard. I still hadn’t got a chance to explain what happened to her yet. It seems his mind has grown far more than I could have imagined in the last few months. “Daddy, when’s momma gonna come home?”
“Well monster, I think it’s time I tell you something.” I said looking back to my parents to silently ask for some privacy. “You know I’m in a band right? I go all over and meet new people all the time.”
“Yeah I wanna be like you when I get big!” he seemed so excited. I hated that I had to do this.
“Well one day, I met this beautiful woman. Her eyes were the brightest shade of green I had ever seen and they looked like they sparkled in the light. I could have gotten lost looking at them. She introduced herself and we talked all night until we had to leave for the next place.” Poor dudes eyes, the same damn shade as hers, were starting to glaze over from lack of robot invasions in my story.
“So anyways time went on and we talked on the phone every few days getting to know each other and soon, I was back in that town. I took her out to dinner and she caught me staring at those wonderful emeralds. Out of the blue she says ‘you love me don’t you?’ and I wasn’t really paying attention to what I was saying but I immediately said ‘yes I do’. And from then on we rarely left the other’s side. She’d come on tour with me to sell merch and we spent so much time together we knew everything about the other. Buddy, I was so in love with her I never wanted to let her go. So, I bought her a ring. A pretty one too. I brought it up to her one night and got on one knee the whole lame thing. She said yes and I couldn’t have been happier with life in that moment. That is until, she told me we were going to have a little monster.”
“Hey wait. Daddy you better be talking about mommy! Momma’s the only lady youre allowed to have a monster with!” he said with a stern tone. Well as stern as a six year old can get.
“Yes bud, im talking about mommy. Now I was so excited to meet you and apparently you were too because you came earlier than we had thought. Your momma was very stressed out and we we’re all very worried for you because you were sick. But then, after a few months you got better. So much better that we got to take you home from the hospital. Momma was so happy she would hardly let me hold you. From the get go we knew you were special. You’ve always been such a smart boy. We were all back to being as happy as we could be. After two years, we found out we were gonna have another baby, a little princess this time. You would would try to play with her while she was in there!. It got really close to the time when baby would come and momma started getting sick. Very sick. I took her to the hospital one night because it got so bad. She was in there for a few days and I was home with you. We finally got to take her home but she was under strict rules to stay in bed. You would lay with her and bring her food and sing to her. You were such a big help. But one night while after putting you in your own bed for the first night in weeks, momma told me something awful. ‘Chris, I don’t have much longer’ ‘Don’t say that. You’ll get better I know you will’ ‘No I won’t. I can feel it Chris. I’m out of time. I want you to know that you were the best thing that ever happened to me’. I fell asleep crying and holding her and our princess. When I woke up, momma wasn’t moving and I called an ambulance. They took her to the hospital and by the time we got there, she was gone. I fell to my knees and cried for so long until grandma got there with you. You wiped away my tears and hugged me but I don’t thing you knew what was going on.” I finished the story wiping the stray tears away.
“Daddy does this mean mommy’s never comin back?” he asked it with an innocence that broke my heart.
“Mommy’s not coming back buddy.”
“Can we go see her?” his little eyes held so much sadness. He knew where she was now.
“Yeah monster. Go get your shoes on. Don’t forget a jacket either” as he ran off I went to tell my parents where we were going. They both looked sad and asked if I needed them to come along. I shook my head and said its something we need to do alone.
The drive there was filled with him trying to cheer me up with his stories from school. I told him about tour and all the places I had been and how in the summer I’d have him come visit. We chatted and got caught up with each other. As we pulled into a parking space dread immediately consumed me all over again. I got him out and lead him up the small hill to where his mother was buried alongside my daughter. He looked up at me as is asking for a confirmation and I nodded. He then knelt between the gravestones and sat there looking at them for a while. My heart was slowly breaking all over again.
“Hi mommy. How are you today? I think you can hear me because you were really smart and I think you could figure it out. Daddy told me what happened today. I’m really sad about it. I thought you were gonna come back. But I wanna let you know that I love you. You were the bestest mommy ever. Sister is lucky she gets to keep you. I think I’ll see you again one day. For now I have daddy and grandma and grandpa and they all love me soooo much. Daddy loves you very much. And so do I. But daddy’s is crying now so I’m gonna go hug him. Bye momma I’ll come back another time” he leaned down and kisses the headstones and then ran back to me. “Daddy no tears. Momma is okay now.” I was heartbroken and my boy was slowing mending it.
Now son, I’m only telling you this, because life can do terrible things
My dad picked me up from the airport so I could surprise my mom. She never remembers when tour is over. I could not for the life of me get my legs to stop shaking. As the car rolled up to the house, and walked through that door, I felt like all was right with the world. All but one thing, that is.
“Hey mom do you happen to know where I left my little monster? I can’t seem to find him anywhere…” I shouted to the living room where I knew they’d be.
“CHRISTOPHER! Oh I did not expect you to be home” Mom said as she got up to hug me. Little man wasn’t far behind.
“DADDY!!! I misses you so much! Grandma wouldn’t let me have cookies or chocolate or candies or nothin’” he pouted as I lifted him to my arms and held him as tightly as I could. God how I’ve missed this boy. “I was scared you might have left me here and went to stay with mommy” That. That hit me really hard. I still hadn’t got a chance to explain what happened to her yet. It seems his mind has grown far more than I could have imagined in the last few months. “Daddy, when’s momma gonna come home?”
“Well monster, I think it’s time I tell you something.” I said looking back to my parents to silently ask for some privacy. “You know I’m in a band right? I go all over and meet new people all the time.”
“Yeah I wanna be like you when I get big!” he seemed so excited. I hated that I had to do this.
“Well one day, I met this beautiful woman. Her eyes were the brightest shade of green I had ever seen and they looked like they sparkled in the light. I could have gotten lost looking at them. She introduced herself and we talked all night until we had to leave for the next place.” Poor dudes eyes, the same damn shade as hers, were starting to glaze over from lack of robot invasions in my story.
“So anyways time went on and we talked on the phone every few days getting to know each other and soon, I was back in that town. I took her out to dinner and she caught me staring at those wonderful emeralds. Out of the blue she says ‘you love me don’t you?’ and I wasn’t really paying attention to what I was saying but I immediately said ‘yes I do’. And from then on we rarely left the other’s side. She’d come on tour with me to sell merch and we spent so much time together we knew everything about the other. Buddy, I was so in love with her I never wanted to let her go. So, I bought her a ring. A pretty one too. I brought it up to her one night and got on one knee the whole lame thing. She said yes and I couldn’t have been happier with life in that moment. That is until, she told me we were going to have a little monster.”
“Hey wait. Daddy you better be talking about mommy! Momma’s the only lady youre allowed to have a monster with!” he said with a stern tone. Well as stern as a six year old can get.
“Yes bud, im talking about mommy. Now I was so excited to meet you and apparently you were too because you came earlier than we had thought. Your momma was very stressed out and we we’re all very worried for you because you were sick. But then, after a few months you got better. So much better that we got to take you home from the hospital. Momma was so happy she would hardly let me hold you. From the get go we knew you were special. You’ve always been such a smart boy. We were all back to being as happy as we could be. After two years, we found out we were gonna have another baby, a little princess this time. You would would try to play with her while she was in there!. It got really close to the time when baby would come and momma started getting sick. Very sick. I took her to the hospital one night because it got so bad. She was in there for a few days and I was home with you. We finally got to take her home but she was under strict rules to stay in bed. You would lay with her and bring her food and sing to her. You were such a big help. But one night while after putting you in your own bed for the first night in weeks, momma told me something awful. ‘Chris, I don’t have much longer’ ‘Don’t say that. You’ll get better I know you will’ ‘No I won’t. I can feel it Chris. I’m out of time. I want you to know that you were the best thing that ever happened to me’. I fell asleep crying and holding her and our princess. When I woke up, momma wasn’t moving and I called an ambulance. They took her to the hospital and by the time we got there, she was gone. I fell to my knees and cried for so long until grandma got there with you. You wiped away my tears and hugged me but I don’t thing you knew what was going on.” I finished the story wiping the stray tears away.
“Daddy does this mean mommy’s never comin back?” he asked it with an innocence that broke my heart.
“Mommy’s not coming back buddy.”
“Can we go see her?” his little eyes held so much sadness. He knew where she was now.
“Yeah monster. Go get your shoes on. Don’t forget a jacket either” as he ran off I went to tell my parents where we were going. They both looked sad and asked if I needed them to come along. I shook my head and said its something we need to do alone.
The drive there was filled with him trying to cheer me up with his stories from school. I told him about tour and all the places I had been and how in the summer I’d have him come visit. We chatted and got caught up with each other. As we pulled into a parking space dread immediately consumed me all over again. I got him out and lead him up the small hill to where his mother was buried alongside my daughter. He looked up at me as is asking for a confirmation and I nodded. He then knelt between the gravestones and sat there looking at them for a while. My heart was slowly breaking all over again.
“Hi mommy. How are you today? I think you can hear me because you were really smart and I think you could figure it out. Daddy told me what happened today. I’m really sad about it. I thought you were gonna come back. But I wanna let you know that I love you. You were the bestest mommy ever. Sister is lucky she gets to keep you. I think I’ll see you again one day. For now I have daddy and grandma and grandpa and they all love me soooo much. Daddy loves you very much. And so do I. But daddy’s is crying now so I’m gonna go hug him. Bye momma I’ll come back another time” he leaned down and kisses the headstones and then ran back to me. “Daddy no tears. Momma is okay now.” I was heartbroken and my boy was slowing mending it.
Now son, I’m only telling you this, because life can do terrible things