Your Knife, My Back...

Oli's Pov:

I sit with her for a while, holding those precious hands that once embraced me in both happiness and sadness. I let a tear trickle down my face as I watch her lifeless body. Why? Why did you do this to yourself? Is the world so cruel you feel the need to be taken away from it?

"Please be okay" I whisper pressing my tear stained face against her cold cheeks. I couldn't loose her, not like this.

"Ambulance is here Ols" shouts up one of the boys. I wipe away the evidence that showed any sings of weakness. I had to be strong for Dakota

"Okay" I whisper letting go of her cold hand and setting it back down on the bed. It can't end like this

"She's in here" shouts Vegan running into the room with the paramedics not far behind. They come into the room and put Dakota onto a stretcher. They take her to the ambulance and let me ride in the back. I strap myself in and take her hand again.

Whilst I talk to the paramedics, I rub my thumb over the back of her hand gently soothing my nerves. I was scared and didn't know what to do, or how to handle it. I was keeping calm for her. She needed me and I had to be strong.

The paramedics gave me no insight as to whether she was going to be alright. They hid their concerns very well, just to keep my mind at ease. I knew they were lying though when they said she would be fine, I could see it in their eyes.

I closed my eyes and let out a deep sigh before sinking into my seat letting my thoughts flicker back to the happy go lucky girl I met months ago, the beauty that stood on my foot at the party I had invited her and Sara to. Her smile so infections that it lights up a thousand darkened rooms. I smile as I remember back to when I had gone ice skating with her and she clumsily fell onto my, instantly making me laugh. Tears fall down my cheeks unexpectedly, instantly turning into a soft sob. How could I have let her walk home alone? This is all my fault, I should have been with her, I should have made her stay. I could have stopped this.

"We're here Sir" says a paramedic lifting Dakota out of the ambulance and rushing her into the hospital

"I'm afraid you're going to have to stay in the waiting room, Sir" says the nurse at the desk as she takes down my name. I grumble at her clenching my fists. I needed a cigarette

"Hey man" says Jordan rushing across the car park with the other hot on his tail. I wave them before placing the poison between my lips and lighting up, taking in it's poison

"Where is she?" questions Lee

"Inside. We can't go see her yet. They're checking her over" I take another drag needing this pain in my heart to go away

"I'm sure she'll be fine" encourages Jordan giving me a sympathetic look

"Yeah" I mumble not believing a word anyone says

"We're going inside, meet you there Oli..." says the boys giving me a hug before leaving. Jordan stays back giving me a concerned look

"Don't do anything stupid Oli, please. We don't need you arrested or worse, in there with her" he warns me with love

"I wont" I lie hoping he wouldn't see through me

"Okay" he says hesitant to walk off and leave me outside

"Go on then, I don't need a fucking baby sitter" I snarl angrily.

Jordan shakes his head at me before leaving me to own devices. I stub out the cigarette and decide to take a walk outside the hospital. I couldn't be near there right now, I didn't want to let my thoughts get the better of me and put into a panic.

I walk past the car park, crossing the road in hopes of finding a spot to sit and smoke. I mindlessly walk into a park before plopping my butt on a bench. I take out another Cigarette and light it up, letting it light up the dimly lit park. I take another puff before resting into the bench. I let the smoke take over, relaxing me into a calmer state.

People pass me by as I suck on the cancer stick that was keeping me calm. I get stared at as I light up my last one, this time inhaling it in bigger breathes. I must have looked like some kind of freak as I watched the kids walk past with their parents, sitting alone on the bench with my cigarettes and phone. My phone buzzes. Unknown number?

"Hello?"

"Hello Oliver... How is she?" whispers that voice I knew too well

"Fuck you bitch. Stay the fuck away from her, or I swear I will kill you myself" I growl angrily at Amanda

"Oli baby. No need to be so mean. I warned her to stay away from what was mine" I laugh at her comment

"Why did you hurt her Amanda? She did nothing to you!"

"I warned her to stay away from you.. She didn't listen, so I started to get my own back. I gave her a little taster of how nasty I get when something of mine is taken away from me. She carries on, I promise this will not end happily for either of you" she cackles down the phone

"BITCH!" I scream aiming my fist at a tree. I whack it full strength before hearing a cracking noise in my hand. I pull back in pain and shake my hand around. "Oh fuck" I whimper as the pain shoots through my hand. I think I just broke it

"Is she really worth the pain baby...?"

"Fuck you!"

"You did and baby it was beautiful"

Shut up" I snarl as my hand throbs in pain

"When are you going to understand that I don't want you anymore.We are through, done, over"

"Your lying"

"I'm not. Now get the fuck out of my life and go fuck your way into an early grave!"

"You'll regret this Oli... I swear it, you will"

"Goodbye Amanda" I say hanging up on her and looking down to my bleeding knuckles. Yep, it's broken. I swiftly head back to the hospital hiding my broken hand in the sleeve of my hoodie I had thrown on before we left the house

I walk into the hospital and spot the boys sitting by the vending machine sitting in total silence. I wave them before sitting next to Jordan. He gives me a weak smile before sinking in his seat again looking into the distance

"Have you guys heard anything?" I whisper

"No..." snaps Jordan

"What's your fucking problem man?"

"You!"

"Me? What did I do?"

"Snapping at me man. It's not cool. You're acting like you're the only one who might loose her" my heart sinks. He was right, I was being selfish. Guild flooded through my body. I sit in silence for a while burying my head in shame

"Mr Sykes?" calls a nurse with a clipboard. I dash towards her

"I'm Mr Sykes. How is she nurse?" My palms are sweating with nerves

"She is stable for now. She lost a lot of blood but lucky she didn't loose enough for a transplant. We need to keep her over night to keep an eye on her" relief flood through me. She was going to be okay

"Thank goodness"

"We will have a doctor to speak to her as she did attempt to take her own life, we need to know why and see if there was anything we could do to aid her in that. You're free to go see her now, she's awake" I thanks the nurse and dash towards the room she told me she was in

I find her room and slowly open the door. Dakota was sitting on the bed with a sad look plastered on her beautiful face. I give her smile before letting the door shut behind me.

"Hey" I whisper

"Hi"

"D, I am so sorry" I say

"Oli Don't okay. Lets just forget the whole thing" I nod

"How you feeling?"

"Much better..." The silence was so awkward I could cut the tension with a knife

"D, Why?" I ask really wanting to know what had caused her to want to take her own life

"Oli please don't. I don't want to talk about it" I frown at her. She was pushing me out again

"I know but... It's... Oh fuck sake D, I can't do this. I can't pretend that nothing is wrong anymore. Something happened didn't it..?" Her face drops into sorrow

"Oli..." her voice was raspy and sad

"You can talk to me Love... I won't hurt you" tears fell down her cheeks

"I can't tell you. I can't tell anyone Oli. If I say it out loud, It means I have to accept that it happened" she sobs into her hands

"What...did...he... do?" I could feel the anger boiling up inside me

"He..-" "Hello Miss Michelson, long time since I've seen you in here" says a tall man in a white coat. He knows Dakota?

"Hello Leo" she whispers

"I thought we weren't going to come back here? What happened?" he says looking at me before nodding "Ah, I see. We can talk in private later if you wish?" she nods and he smiles before leaving the room

"Who was that?"

"Someone I used to see regularly"

"Why does he know you?"

"I already told you. I used to see him regularly"

"Why?"

"I just did Oli..."

"So is this how it's going to be. You're just going to leave me in the blue and pretend that the issue doesn't exsist?"

"Why are you getting so angry for? You're acting like my fucking boyfriend, which might I add you're not!" she screams

"I... Ugh, fine. Fuck, you're so infuriating D" I say before my actions take over. Before my mind has time to react, I press my lips on hers and let them linger

"Oli..."

"I'll be outside when you need me" I blush walking out of the room feeling like an idiot.