Your Knife, My Back...

I collapse into Oliver's arms as my best friend hangs up on me, angrily shouting that I can have Alex. I felt a sharp pain in my stomach as I begin to sob. She hates me. I let the tears roll as Oli embraces me into his big arms and hugs me tighter. I didn't want him to ever let go. His strong arms pulled me up into a bridal carry. I feel him hush me as I sob louder into his shoulder. How could she think that I would ever take the one guy she loved? I loved my best friend to pieces and wouldn't do anything to hurt her. She was the one thing keeping me alive through all the bullying and self hate that I was dealing with.

Oliver plops me into the sofa and sits down bringing me into a hug. "Don't worry love, it will be alright soon. She needs someone to blame and unfortunately she blamed you" his voice echoed through me as I listened to his Sheffield accent.
"Oli" I say in barely a whisper. He looks down at me and smiles.
"Yes Love?"
"Am I bad person?" I fight back the tears that are trying to force their way out.
"No Love, course not. You've done nothing wrong. She's just hurting" with that he pulls me into a hug and I lay against his chest. I sob some more before I can no longer cry. I was so scared of losing my best friend. I don't think I could cope without her in my life. Silence falls in the room for a while before the other lads come rushing into the house loudly. Jordan spots me and hushes the guys to shut up before coming over.
"everything alright?" he asks more to Oli then me. Oli nods and I look up. why did they care about me so much? I was just another fan to them, right? Another stupid little girl who fan-girls over band members.
I pull myself out of Oli's arms and stand up ready to leave the house. The guys give me a look before I go grab my bag.
"Where you going?" I hear a voice say. I turn round to see Lee standing there with confusion on his face. I sigh. It's something I've been doing a lot recently.
"Home. I don't belong here" I say before heading towards the door. I feel someone grab my wrist and pull me back gently.
"Don't go, not just yet" Lee was standing there with a goofy grin on his face.
"And why not? This isn't my world, Lee. I don't belong here."
"Why don't you? You seem cool. I think the lads like you, you know." he grins.
"I'm just a fuck up who ruins relationships" I was hurting so bad that I guess I was finding excuses to push those who wanted to care away. I was good at that. I didn't want to get close to someone and then end up hurting again. I couldn't go through that again.
Obviously Lee didn't know as he looked at me in confusion. I tried to walk but he wouldn't let me.
"Look, whatever's going on it doesn't matter. Let us take care of you for a while. No offence, but you seem very lonely" he had a stern look on his face. He was being serious. I broke down once more.
"I'm sorry." that was all I could say through the sobs. Lee smiles and offers his hand out to me to walk me back into the front room.
The guys jump on me with smiles and laughter. I guess they like me, huh? Man up now Dakota, take deep breathes and let these guys take care of you. Even if it is for a little while.

"D, can I speak to you for a second?" I hear that sexy Sheffield accent say. I nod and the guys get off me and let Oli take me into the kitchen where he leans against the sink and takes out a cigarette. He offers me one but I decline. I wasn't in the mood for a smoke right now, even though it would calm my nerves a little.
"Whats up?" I finally say as we stare at each other for a while. I see Oli's face tense up like he wants to ask something but doesn't know how to word it. I raise an eyebrow and then cough.
"I don't mean to pry. But why?" he says now walking over to me and grabbing my wrist gently revealing my scars across my wrist. I pull back in shame and look to the floor in discomfort. I shuffle back and forth of my feet unable to answer him. He pulls my face up gently with his fingers so I am looking at him. He has a sad look in his eyes. "Why D?" he asks again this time we hold our gaze more. I pull back again not wanting to answer. I can't go back to that time, never. I won't re-live those memories. Oli sighs, obviously giving up. I blink back tears as for the first time in forever, someone actually gives a fuck.
Minutes pass by before I suddenly speak.
"I can't tell you right now Oli. I'm not ready. I barley know you and the guys. I'm not even sure why you care anyway" I say questioning his generosity.
"Why do I care? For a start, hurting yourself is not healthy or safe. Secondly, I care about all my fans and those who I meet. I consider you a friend. I like you, a lot. I want to get to know you and see who you are without your walls up. That's why I want to keep you here for a little longer. I want to make sure you're not alone because believe it or not D, I have been there. I know how it feels to have nothing. I was addicted to Ketimin for months just so I didn't have to deal with my Demons" I could honestly hear the plead in his voice. I could see the pain across his face as clear as day. "I don't want you to end up in that situation, or worse"
"I... Thank you" that was all I managed before heading up to my bed to think about what Oliver had said. He followed me up the stairs and into my room.
"I just need to be alone right now" he nodded and with that left me to fall into a deep sleep.