Just Friends

I was eighteen and a virgin. I had been informed of it being a little sad? Or possibly prudish.

I attended a graduation party. Well, Chris dragged me upon a house party. He was always doing this to me. Always explaining I was so much fun.

Chris and I stayed in a corner. I played quarters with him. I felt light as a feather. His face was red from the beer but his blue eyes were light.

I peered at him grinning as I held the quarter. “Drink up Evans” I sang. The quarter met the shot glass. I threw my hands up laughing hysterically.

Chris eyed me sharply but threw back a shot. He licked his lips smiling crookedly.

"Feeling nice?" I asked leaning toward him. I felt my head hit his shoulder

"Absolutely" Chris spoke in my ear.

I smiled peering up at him. “I’m gonna miss you so much” I said. I had been so surprised he heard my whisper over the powerful bass of the music.

"Lilli-" Chris spoke directly in my ear "You’ll always be my girl"

I turned my head. I was drunk and emotional. He didn’t gawk or complain when he saw tears brimming my eyes.

I would thank the alcohol for the confidence later on. I leaned toward him completely sure of myself. I met his lips with a soft peck.

I didn’t register it- didn’t comprehend it.

Chris abruptly twined our fingers together and brought me to my feet. I stumbled into him. I grabbed my beer and followed him through the bumping house.

I met gazes and smiled weakly.

Chris was calm. He opened a door to a bedroom. He allowed me through and locked it. I trailed toward the desk and skimmed through the book collection.

"Lilliana"

I turned at the mention.

"What was that?" Chris wondered licking his lips.

I furrowed my brow and shook my head. I felt the room move with me. “Uh-” I began to laugh “Oh, the kiss. It’s a goodbye kiss. It’s a ill never see you again kiss”

I felt my chest tightened. I witnessed his thoughtful expression. A sad smile tugged on his lips.

"You’re going to visit me" Chris reminded softly.

I snickered “I plan to. But really-” I rolled my eyes “We will eventually drift apart. I’ll see you on the holidays”

"I don’t want to" Chris insisted.

"I don’t either" I replied.

Chris ran a hand through his hair. I peered at him and took him in.

"I love you Chris" I said.

Chris eyes narrowed to meet mine.

"I love you" He nodded.

I smiled and trailed over toward the door. He had locked me in a bedroom to say our last goodbye.
I passed him peeking at him. His hand met mine.

He stopped me. His baby blues intently took my gaze in.

His hand brushed along my cheek. His fingertips brushing along my hairline. I felt warm against his touch. I closed my eyes.

I felt hands travel to my hair and then I felt lips.

Chris was kissing me. Our bodies met and his hands lifted my rear so my legs can wrap around-

I was kissing my first kiss- Chris and I were five. That’s how we met. My family just moved next door. This child came over and abruptly took my face to kiss me. My father had a stroke but our mothers swooned.

I realized now that I had been pressed against Chris and, I felt every inch of him.

Our lips never faltered. Chris moved and it resulted in me gripping him. He moaned against my mouth.

I felt my head hit a pillow. I gazed up at him. Several moments he only gazed at me with a small smile. He cocked his head “You’re so beautiful”

I rolled my eyes at him. He mimicked me “You know it”

I shook my head disagreeing. “The most precious thing ..” He murmured.

"Kiss me" I laughed pulling at him.

He obeyed with a laugh. I pulled at the hem of his shirts. I cocked my head as his shirt lifted. I admired his chest and let myself sigh in amazement.

Chris mouth curved and his expression turned gently.

That; the gentleness suddenly enduring. He was thinking; I was thinking, pondering this.

"I never -" Chris shook his head wincing. "This is my first time"

I gawked. No, I didn’t believe this cutie never had sexual intercourse with - I met his gaze as his patiently waited for my reply. I slowly spread my lips at him.

"I’m glad it’s you" I whispered.

I grabbed his face and kissed him. My lips brushed against his. There was no rushing, I wanted to remember- well semi recall this life changing event.

Damn you Smirnoff.

It became a embarrassing take- half giggles of drunkiness and half wincing at the discomfort.

But I’ll always remember Chris Evans whispering “I love you forever”

So to my surprise when I found myself wrapped up in Chris’s bubble once more, six teen years later. I was not prepared.



The slightest thought of the holiday season caused a slight cringe to my body. It left a sour expression for several moments.

The holidays meant coming home.

My mother and father were bitter. Divorced. Dad took the dog and Mom.. Well she took everything.

I was the only child. There was no escaping the torment of the passive aggressive comments of Ma and Pa.

I usually drove there, my mother still lived in the home I grew up in. I always enjoyed the idea of the memories. It was nice to know I could possibly show this off to my future family.

Couldn’t help it, I winced bitterly as I turned the wheel to my pricey fancy car.
It was leased BMW. I wasn’t that fancy. I was a school teacher. Joke was on me.

The sounding of my ringtone caused me to press the hands free device.

"Mom" I clarified

"Lilliana" Maggie said back, I could tell she had a bit of spiked egg nog.

"What’s up? I picked up the pies by the way. Tony sends his love"

"That is so sweet" Maggie said. Soft music played in the background. "The Evans are here"

I nodded. The Evans always came. They have been for twenty three years. “I know” I laughed hesitantly.

"Funny thing -" She murmured "Chris-"

My brain went moosh. I felt like a looney toon in this moment. I stared blankly ahead at a stop sign. “Chris ? He’s there ? My Chris ?” I winced at that

"Yes" She answered.

Chris usually never made it. I never held it against him. He was so busy with being a heart throb. I was being bitter once again. I crinkled my nose

I haven’t seen him in five years.

"Thanks for the warning" I said enthused.

"Lili" Maggie stressed "It’s a lovely surprise"

I nodded “Very lovely”

I peered in the mirror and I met my own gaze worriedly. “Honey-”

"I’m right up the street, love you see you" I hung up in a frantic.

I calmed myself by cursing right away “Fuck. Damn it all to hell. Shit”

I looked presentable. I wore a black dress. My lips were smeared with red lipstick. My hair had a slight wave to it.

I grumbled as my house came into view. Chris always caused me to panic with a rush.

I parked it right outside. I turned gazing at the bright Christmas lights. I unbuckled the seatbelt that clung to my chest. I stepped out of the car walking carefully. My chill caused me to shiver. I tiptoed toward the passenger side door to receive the bakery goods.

I carefully steadied my hands and made my way toward the green door. I found myself gazing at the house next door.

"Lilliana Clarke"

I halted mid step and turned toward my driveway. I opened my mouth completely surprised.

"Hi" I called back.

Chris leaned against a car but pushed himself off to approach me. I took him in. He looking huge, his chest was massive. He wore a suite with a blue shit and black tie.
My lips twitched. He looked perfect

Chris peered down at me. A smile hovering his lips. He silently placed the pies down. I met his gaze as a shy smile spread across my lips.

Chris spread his arms and I found myself being wrapped up in his arms.

I sighed into his shirt. He also smelt just as good as he looked.

"You don’t call or write or text" Chris said.

I pulled back to stare sharply at him. “I can say the same thing” I eyed him.

Chris nodded his head smirking. “Touché”

"How are you?" I asked

"I’m okay. I have a month before I start filming Civil War" Chris said "How are you?"

"You’re staying in Boston?" I widen my eyes

Chris nodded smiling. “I couldn’t stay away for long”

I rolled my eyes. “It been like five years? I forgot what you looked like” I teased.

Chris scoffed. “I literally can say the same thing”

I pointed at him “Lair” I laughed.

Chris gazed at me. “I’m happy I came”

I smiled “I am too” I said “Grab the pies” I touched his arm and grabbed my purse as well.

"Cherry?" Chris wondered as he grasped the box.

I shook my head frowning “Apple” Chris face faltered a bit. I smiled widely “Kidding”

Chris nudged me. “I am dedicated to my pies” I laughed stepping threw the door. I hung up my jacket as Chris bumped into me

"Would you stop" I hissed already annoyed at him. Chris shoved me once more deeper into the closet. I grabbed his arm squeezing him. "What are you five?"

Chris arms wrapped around mine and pulled me out as he laughed hysterically.

His arm draped around my shoulder we turned toward the foyer and there was a audience. I froze taking in my mothers sly expression.

Chris peered sideways as a tall figure approached me. I felt lips on my temple. “Hey Babe”

I blinked several times. Did I honestly forget about Adam? Jesus. I glanced as Chris peered at me thoughtfully. Finally his arm faltered around me.

Adam Davis leaned toward Chris with a extended hand “Lilliana told me great things about you. I’m Adam”

Chris shook his hand. “Ah” He said smiling. I furrowed my brow in thought. I grabbed the pies from Chris and made my way toward the kitchen.

Maggie met me half way. “How was it?”

I smiled “It was good” I shrug.

I placed the pies down on the counter. I turned and meet blue eyes approaching me swiftly. He seems angry for some strange reason. I shift from foot to foot.

Chris takes my hand and his gaze falls upon the ring. “You’re ?-” he chokes.

"Engage to be married"

Chris flickers his gaze to my mother. “Maggie” He states. He embraces my mother gently. She smiles; Chris was always her favorite. She voiced her opinion on the two of us.

Maggie stepped away giving me a pointed look.

I sighed fiddling with my hands. “When I asked ‘how are you?’ You could of replied with this” He gestured toward my hand.

"Chris, I know your schedule it’s hectic. I -" I trailed off helplessly.

"I’m suppose to be your best friend. You were there for me with Minka" He stated. "I didn’t even know his name"

"Adam Davis" I informed "Adam is a firefighter"

Chris peered at me grimacing. “Really?”

I nodded. “Look I know this a curve ball-”

"You think? I mean is this a recent thing?"

"The last year" I pressed my lips together. "Scott and your mother came to the engagement party"

Chris eyes bulged. “Wow” He rubbed his cheek.

"I have no idea why they wouldn't tell you" I said.

Chris sighed

"I called you too" I murmured "Left a message to some women" I shrugged.

"I’m happy for you"

I raised my eyebrow at him. He smiled finally vanishing the stern expression he wore.
We lingered for a moment.

"Anything else that my best friend left out?"

"I’m a first grade teacher" I said.

"No shit?" Chris laughed

I nodded. “We set out and did all the things we wanted to do”

"You didn't go to Ireland" Chris reminded.

I gasped peering at him. “That was from the .. Sixth grade? I have to now” I winced

Chris gazed at me and shook his head “Lilli is getting married”

I nodded feeling somber. Chris expression smoothed. And we peered at each other.

I guess it was a twist then. We didn't end up together.