Good Riddance

I handed the letter to Zach first thing the next day. It was a Friday and I was facing my first weekend in my detention center I used to call home. He took my letter with some trepidation but all I asked him to do was hand it Jess. He didn’t even need to see Billie – I know how those two set each other off. They weren’t exactly the best of friends.

I endured the morning of lessons and I even participated in hockey. I hated hockey; it was so pointless, running up and down a pitch after a tiny ball and getting battered around by the jock girls.

It was break when I was alone. I was around the back of the music block, the one place I could find some peace away from Mr Carlson and his prying eyes; he didn’t know that I came around here. It was then I heard the noise coming from by the tree at the bottom of the field near the block. Jess was stood next to it, smoking. She beckoned me over. I smiled broadly and got up, headed over and took the cigarette from her hand, took a drag and then gave it back to her. I raised my eyebrow as I tasted the skunk which was clearly evident in the rolled up paper. I didn't need to be high when Mr Carlson saw me next.

“Got away from your minders for a moment?” she asked.

“Yeah” I said, “It’s a rarity”

“Zach gave me your letter, I took it to Billie period 2, you’ll probably have a reply by the end of the day” she said with an encouraging smile.

“I’m so lonely” I said to her taking another drag on the cigarette, “I’ve only been away from him for five days and already it’s driving me crazy”

“Have him come and rescue you!” she said, “Have him wheel up in his mom’s car and drive you away”

“Oh yeah that would be good” I said, “And then get him done for kidnap?”

“Could they do that?” Jess asked, finishing up the joint.

“Yes,” I said, “I’m still ‘under their jurisdiction’ and Billie is an adult so he could get done for kidnapping and assaulting a minor”

“Wow,” she said, “That sucks”

“Just a bit” I said and looked down as I toed out the stub of the cigarette, “Just tell him I love him and I’ll get out somehow.”

“What about Zach?” asked Jess after a moment.

“What about him?” I asked.

“Your parents let you see him, right?” asked Jess and waited for my affirming nod before continuing, “Well then say you’re going to Zach’s and actually go to Billie’s. Zach’ll cover for you, won’t he?”

“I don’t think I’m even allowed out the house” I said, “I’ll ask but I doubt they’ll let me”

“Well you’re going to have to do something, because otherwise we’re all going to go insane” Jess said with a grin.

“Why?” I asked.

“Billie won’t shut up it” Jess said, “We’re all missing you but he’s planned everything from mafia raids to helicopters”

“Well it’s nice to know that he cares” I said.

“Cares?” Jess laughed, “He’s chomping at the bit to see you”

I laughed but I didn’t really mean it as I looked at my ballet pumps on my feet.

“Miss Robertson!”

I jumped and turned around to see Mr Carlson stood by the side of the music block. Jess melted away into the trees behind me.

“Yes Sir?” I asked.

“What are you doing around here?” he asked, “I believe you are supposed to be in my class now?”

“Has the bell gone sir?” I asked innocently. He just nodded curtly.

“I’m sorry” I said as I picked up my bag and walked past him towards the main building, I had no idea where Jess had gone, “I must have just lost track of time”

It was the next day when I got a reply to my letter, Zach came over and as soon as he was in my bedroom he gave me it. I sat down on the side of my bed and opened the envelope.

“Thank you” I said to him as he sat down in the chair by my desk. He just half smiled and picked up the book I was reading.

“Romeo and Juliet?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said absently as I opened the folded letter, “My favourite”

Sweetheart,
(above) that was a bit sappy wasn’t it? I couldn’t call you just Scar, I had to tell you I love you before I even started my letter.

Right, now for the main bit. I can’t believe they are doing this to you! There must be some law or other, some way to get you out? And as for the restraining order, they have no grounds, surely? Well anyone there’s no point me griping, I need to find a way to get you out of there.

My first thought was Zach, I think Jess mentioned him yesterday? Do you think you could get him to ask your parents rather than the other way around. They’re more likely to listen to him than to you at the moment aren’t they? Ask him whether he’ll ask them for a sleepover or a dance rehearsal just because you’re not getting out enough or something and then come round to mine? I’m so sick of not seeing you, I’m scared for you, they’re not hurting you are they? You would tell me if they were wouldn’t you? We could have you out of there faster than buzz lighting(!). Ollie says she’s more than willing for you to stay here, Mike is practically living with Kiera these days anyway and – not that you’d be sleeping in the single on your own – there is plenty of space in my bed... The only problem on my end is Daniel, he thinks it’s hilarious what’s going on and it’s the only thing that he and Ollie have disagreed over in a while – you never know maybe he’ll get kicked out.

Green Day is doing well, we released our EP the other day and it’s selling well for us! Wow, I’m amazed about it, I can’t believe it’s done so well. It’s a bit crazy and Lookout want us to do another one. Already! I think that they’re organising a short tour for us around the area and the state. I think we’re doing it the week of half term so that it suits Tre and Mike. I’m excited for when they leave school and we can devote all our time to it – Ollie’s happy about it because she was worried before when nothing much was happening but now it’s all go then she’s put herself in the green for it. ← sound like an excited little school boy – not what you need at the moment. Sorry.

I went down to the bridge the other day and got the music from Jo. It’s really good, I did tweak it a bit but the next time I see you then I’ll play it for you. I think you’ll like it. The guys down at the bridge do know about what’s going on and they were up for a full on house raid. Tre had to talk them down, yeah you did hear that right – Tre.

Right now it’s Saturday morning, Jess is coming around in about an hour; I’m going to give it to her and then she’s going to give it to Zach when he comes around to hers. I don’t quite know how the relaying thing works but as long as you get this letter then that’s okay. I miss you baby, it’s been a week now and I’m going slightly crazy, well more than slightly crazy, a lot crazy. I need to see that you’re okay otherwise I’m actually going to drive the others insane as well, Jess keeps telling me you’re alright but until I can see you, hold you again then I’m going to be pacing around here.

Just ask Zach please, I need to see you again,

BJ
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (times a million)

I was half crying when I finished reading the letter and Zach was looking at me with an exasperated look on his face.

“I need your help Zach” I said to him, “I need you to lie to my parents”

There was a silence and then Zach just slowly nodded. I was slightly shocked that he had agreed this easily but delighted non the less.

“I need you to ask them whether I can sleep at yours for a study weekend” I said, “Then – and I know I’m being really selfish – I can go see Billie”

“There’s so much that could go wrong with that” said Zach, “but I’ll give it a go”

“Thank you” I breathed, “Thank you so much!”

Zach just shook his head and half laughed at the thought of what could go wrong.

***

Billie,

Will do baby, just depends whether they will let me go to Zach’s without parental supervision or something silly like that. My mom would actually go so far, at the moment, as to accompany me to Zach’s. I don’t know what Zach’s mum thinks about all of this – I haven’t even had a chance to talk to Sandy since all this began. I am being kept in the dark literally. Mom took my stereo off me the other day because I played that station again, I wasn’t even playing it that loud but she didn’t like the fact that I was listening to the Dead Kennedy’s. Fucker.

I don’t even know what’s going on with the police, do you know anything?

Did you know anything about Zach and Cassidy? Zach only told me the other day, I couldn’t believe it. Cassidy seems to be the total opposite of Zach and she’s nineteen; not that I can preach in anyway about age gaps. Zach did it to me when he knew how old you were – now it’s my chance to give it back to him.

It’s Sunday night, sorry I didn’t reply to you yesterday – my mum dragged me out to see a physio since my ankle clicked weirdly yesterday. It’s nothing serious, I just need to some ligament exercises to make sure it stays okay. Mum pretended to be so concerned because she doesn’t want to jeopardise in anyway the Championships in June. She is so obsessed with me winning. She’s made me practice for two hours a night in the living room with Zach since the incident. Even Zach is getting annoyed these days.

I asked him about asking his parents and he said he would try. I don’t know how much his mum knows about this but sure as hell if she finds out about him and Cassidy, she won’t lock him up. Sorry. I’m not locked up, I’m being “detained for my own good”. You are my good and if Zach doesn’t manage to get me out of here I don’t know what I’ll do. Probably bash through the glass on my balcony, steal the car, grab you and drive, drive far away until they get sick of chasing us, or I’m eighteen and they don’t have any grounds anymore. Wouldn’t that be nice? Anyway I’m going to not talk about that because as I do the situation because more attractive and that wouldn’t help. I’d probably get as far as the trellis before I was lassoed down by my mum and locked in the cellar or something. That would be nasty – I’m not good with spiders.

I’m missing you baby; your lips, your hands, your hair, your body, your amazing kisses and the way you make me feel.

I’m just praying that Zach can get this sorted because then I’m going to give you what you always wanted – the thing I was tentative about and you being the perfect gentleman didn’t push it? Mmmmm.
Anyway,

I’ll see you soon baby; one way or another

Scar
Xxxxxxxxx

Sweetheart,

Are you serious about Zach? That’s amazing! If Zach could organise that then that would be fantastic and I swear to you I will never think ill of him again. At least until the next time I see the stupid little – anyway. I can’t think that now though.

Yeah he is getting with Cassidy, I went a little bit mental when I found out, I thought she had better taste than that but apparently not. Sorry, I’ll stop dissing him forever if he gets this sorted and doesn’t dob us in. You don’t think he will do you? Apparently he’s not that twisted (according to you) and seeing as his sister, Sandy, dropped your last letter off because Jess wasn’t in school, I’m inclined to think better of them.

I keep playing your song, I’m making it better and I can’t wait to play it to you. I’ve called it “Last Night On Earth” and it’ll be our song. I chose that title because it reminded me of that Saturday – it was the last night for me because I haven’t seen you since then. I think you saw me once, briefly, but I was all hotwired at the time so it was exactly much of a meeting. I don’t think I even registered that you were there. Sorry. Find a copy of the lyrics attached, I might make a few changes but I doubt it. I’m not even going to put on our new EP, this song is for you and you only. I played it to Jess and she thought it was beautiful (obviously I played it more at Jess than for her. I’ll play it for you). Love You.

As for the police. I’m sure your parents have been informed; why aren’t they telling you anything. They found them on the descriptions that I gave them. And when they caught up with their suspects they confessed everything. They’re up in court next month which means you’re going to have to testify. They need you as a witness – sorry I have to tell you this way baby, I would have told you face to face but just in case I don’t see you then I’ll tell you here. I would hate to think of you getting in the car being told you were “going out” and then rolling up in front of a court house and being like WTF. Sorry for the cheerleader speak (That is what I call it).

I’m working down at Gilman Street now, just to earn some extra cash. I was down there on Friday night for our show (sorry you missed it – it was good – I missed you) and they told me that they’re a bartender down. So I said I’d work it. It’s only three nights a week, I earn money and I’m in (one of) my favourite places in Cali, the other is my bedroom and I’ll leave to figure out the other place I like to be at all physical opportunities because I ain’t writing it down on paper. : )

As for the thing you wrote at the end of your last letter – wow. Just to tell you straight off – you don’t have to, I know you were apprehensive before and I don’t want you to think that just because we haven’t seen each other for a while then you have to do anything you don’t want to.

Love You

BJ
Xxxxxxxxxxx
p.s you’re not seriously thinking of going out-of-state if you get the offers are you?
Xx

Lyrics to LAST NIGHT ON EARTH:
I mailed a postcard, sent to you
Did it go through?
Sending all my love to you
You are the moonlight of my life every night
Giving all my love to you
My beating heart belongs to you
I walked for miles 'til i found you
I'm here to honor you
If i lose everything in the fire
I'm sending all my love to you
With every breath that i am worth
Here on earth
I'm sending all my love to you
So if you dare to second guess
You can rest assure
That all my love's for you
My beating heart belongs to you
I walked for miles 'til i found you
I'm here to honor you
If i lose everything in the fire
I'm sending all my love to you
My beating heart belongs to you
I walked for miles 'til i found you
I'm here to honor you
If i lose everything in the fire
I'm sending all my love to you


Billie,

I don’t know about dance schools. I want to be the best of what I can be – I am a good dancer. That’s my best quality, my grades aren’t amazing and because of the dancing thing they’ve been slipping even further, yes I hope to graduate in two years but I’m not going to go to college (unless it’s a dance college) so if I get an offer to Julliard I’m not going to pass it up. I mean Julliard? That would be amazing – okay I’m not even going to think about that, I would be setting myself up for a fall. Did you know that out of the 1000 applicants they get there every year only 3% get in? Anyway. Stop talking. Why, would it be a massive deal? Of course I will discuss everything with you (if you still want me by the then) , we’ll talk about it, right?

Anyway, great news about the job! What days are you working? I mean it’s Tuesday now, I’m stuck at home and you’re probably down at Gilman’s listening to some awesome band and having a great time – not that I begrudge you at all – just thought I’d put that out there. I might even force myself to go downstairs at some point tonight. Can you imagine that, me being in the same room as my parents without firing some sort of accusation at them? It’ll probably never happen. Once I’m mad at somebody I tend to stay mad at them. Going back to the initial topic – sorry I’m chopping and changing a lot, I’m not really thinking before I write, it’s kinda word vomit – I should get myself a job, I would do so I can move out of this hell hole as soon as possible. I want to move out as soon as I am able and have got the means, if it means severing all ties with my parents then I will do. I just need to make sure that it would be legal if I did it.

Zach got back to me today – he asked his parents and they rang mine and my mom said she’d “think about it” – which literally means yes. (I hope!) so I’ll be seeing you soon, maybe. (fingers crossed). I think Zachs mum is a little bit shocked about what my parents are doing so any chance of getting me out the house is good in her opinion. I mean, she understands to some extent my parents concern but this level, this just seems like spitefulness.

As for the song – thank you so much. The lyrics were amazing, I tried singing them to the music I had wrote and it made me cry! I want to listen to you sing them to me, I want to hear your voice again! I love you so much, thoughts of seeing you are pretty much what’s kept me alive these past few days. You have no idea how tempting the medicine cupboard has been looking (but don’t worry that’s only for when I get crazy depressed) and when that happens I call Zach. He’s a good friend.

God, school was so boring today although I did run into Kiera. This was pretty amazing to me seeing as my school days have been passing in silence recently (I refuse point blank to talk to Mr Carlson while he keeps me in “extra study sessions”) – the only person I’ve been talking to recently at school is Mandy because she seems to be the only sane one in the place. I have no idea why Mr Carlson is taking up mum’s case so fiercely, maybe he’s shagging her. Oh she would so bitchslap me for saying that (yes I did just say that!).

All I can do now Is to wait for Zach to get back to me now,

Yours Forever,
Scarlett
Xxxxxxxxxxx


Scar,
First off, I’m sorry for what I asked you at the end of my last letter; I must have sounded like an ass – I don’t mind if you take out-of-state offers seriously, I want you to follow your dreams and when I realised how selfish I’d been. You’re not holding me back on my dreams so I wouldn’t dream of harming yours. I mean Julliard – wow. That would be amazing, but then again aren’t TAP really good as well? I have no idea what I’m looking for in dance companies (why would I?) and you’re going to have to help me out on that one so I don’t look like an idiot ( I like to at least think I know what I’m talking about).
Second, please, please, please, please do not do anything stupid. I read your letter last time and the comment about the medicine cupboard nearly had me through caution to the wind and storm over there. the only reason I didn’t is because Jess came over to yours. Yeah I know what you’re thinking, what? Yeah she did, she climbed up your trellis and peered into your room to make sure you were still alive – I know slightly stalkerish, but I had to know it wasn’t your way of telling me you were going to kill yourself. Please never do that to me again – you have no idea how worried I was. You were asleep when she arrived so she just snuck back to mine and scraped me off the ceiling where I had been currently residing until she returned.

I work Monday’s, Wednesday and Friday’s down at Gilman so on Tuesday when you wrote that I was probably in my room thinking of you. Or at Tre’s trying to have band practice. I say trying because I have been rather um distracted lately. I can’t stop thinking about you – god that is way to teenage for my liking but nevermind it’s true. Love you babes.

Has Zach got back to you yet?

I need to know. Coz if you’re coming round this Saturday that gives me approximately seventy two hours to make my bedroom girl friendly again. And don’t say Jess because I don’t count her as a girl. By girl friendly I mean girlfriend friendly. I might even change the bed for you.
I hope you didn’t cry too hard over the song. Or that it was in a good way – I just wanted to tell you that I loved you, really really loved you and that no matter how hard things get I’m gonna stay with you, yeah?

Love you Forever
BJ
Xxxxxxxxxx


Billie,
You better change those sheets! I know you were only joking but you know how much I like your bed. I might even let you get in at some point too. I’m sure Jess will be delighted to know that you don’t count her as a girl – I’m sure Tre does. Bloody hell, I’m missing everyone so much! Tell Tre to stop sniffing glue so much as well I swear that bunch of dead roses on the doorstep addressed to mum had something to do with him? Mum thought they were from you so they didn’t go down well.
TAP isn’t nearly good as Julliard but it is good – I wouldn’t turn down an offer let’s put it that way (If I didn’t get an offer to – well you get the point). I want to dance on Broadway at least once, that would be nice, I’d quite like to be in a film or two... how amazing would that be? (classy films only methinks).
Zach did get back to me and..... HE GOT PERMISSION! But, yeah there is a but; not this weekend. He’s got permission for next weekend and my mum is going to drop me off at his at six next Saturday evening and pick me up again at twelve (noon) on Sunday. That gives approximately seventeen hours (take an hour for getting to and from your house) to be together. I can’t wait – I am so excited! Sorry. Well I am. I only have to endure another eight days without seeing you – I’ll manage.

Now what are we going to do in those seventeen hours together? Hmmm I can think of plenty of things we could be doing – Jess is going to have to go shopping for me. I actually genuinely didn’t mean to write that last sentence, I told you these letters were just word vomit. It’s ridiculous. : )
Can we just spend all night just with each other? I’d like that so much. Not wanting to be mean to the others but I just wanna be with you. I hate being locked in like this – argh. I miss you so much. :’( (sorry for all the smilies but it just seemed the best way to put across what I’m feeling)
Thank you so much baby for answering all my letters. I don’t know what I would do without hearing from you. Go crazy I think; I’ll write again when I get your reply about this weekend.

Love Scarlett
Xxxxxxxxxxxx


Baby,
LOVE YOU! I am now physically counting down to next weekend – yes I know very teenage girl but I don’t care. Tell Zach he’s a miracle worker okay and that I won’t get mad at him again.
What is Jess going to buy you? She told me that Zach had delivered a letter to her today as well with a list. She says she’s sworn to secrecy as to what it is. Hmmmmmmmmm – I would be slightly concerned except for the fact I know it’s you. I can’t wait to hold you again.

Sorry for this ridiculously short letter, I’ve got to go to work. I’ll write to you again tomorrow and you can tell me about your day at school (exciting or what?!). I love you baby and I’ll see you in seven days.

Love you forever
BJ
Xxxxxxxx
P.s – find enclosed a (few) pictures of us.


Billie,
This is the first of two letters I’ll write to you today. This one is just a short one to say thank you for the photograph. Keeping me sane; bit-by-bit. I’m liking the fact that it was the one of you without your top off, keeping it real! And the other one with the kissing? Thank you, makes me relive some very good memories. They are currently residing in my (locked) diary.

Write again later,
Love you
Scar
Xxxxxxxxxx