The Art of Subconscious Illusion

Chapter Nine.

“Jesus Christ Zacky, what the hell are you thinking?” I asked as I bent over, taking the bottle from his hands and seeing him pout. “No, I think you have quite enough Zacky…”

“That’s miiiine!” he whined, reaching for it and grabbed my leg and hooked me behind the back of the knee, causing me to collapse almost on top of him and he caught me, taking the bottle back like a pro. “You can say right theres ough.” he stated, while beginning to slur his words.

“Z-Zacky sweetie, you really need to stop drinking…” I felt my face heat up, hoping to God that Mel or Rach didn’t come up to see this. “Want me to bring you to your room? You’ll be comfy at least if you aren’t on the cold floor...you’ll get sick.” I was so concerned about him, I didn’t want him to be miserable and cold. Gah, he was being a dick, took advantage of me and I still care too damn much!

“I’ll let you bring meh ta mahsroom...buh yous hay with me!” he exclaimed, bringing me closer against him and he pressed his forehead against mine. “Please...say with me?” he whispered, his mood switching in an instant.

“I will stay with you until you fall asleep…” I sighed, standing up and blushing as I recalled that I was in a dress. I bit my lip, not noticing Zacky pulling my dress up slightly and putting his head under. “Zacky, what the fuck?!” I exclaimed, jumping once I looked down.

“Heyyy, come back. That was nice!” he said and I just rolled my eyes at him, helping him up off the floor and leading him into his room whilst he directed me to it. I closed the door and sat him down on the bed. He looked up at me slowly and I watched a sly smile spread across his features. Before I knew it he had grabbed me pinned me to bed, hovering over me so close that I could feel his breath on my neck. “You and I have a few things to discuss...and yes I’m drunker than hell, But that will make things easier for the both of us.” he stated, talking lowly and it was almost as if he were completely sober.

“We can talk, but do you have to have me pinned to the bed?” I ask, acutely aware of him staring at the top of my breasts. “What do we need to discuss?” I felt him put his hands on my under breasts and push them up, causing my face to heat up even more. “Zacky!”

“What? I quite like this angle for discussion. Don’t you like being pinned, I enjoy it.” he replied. “And we needs to talks bout the um...the other drunk conversation you...we had when you were messed ups. You said some things...I said some things...some of them were from the heart and those other ones were just fuckin’... sexy.” he stumbled over his words a bit, leaving his hand on my breasts and pulling my neckline down. Was this rape?

“Zachary, you can keep pinning me...but jesus christ...please don’t rape me.” I whispered, pure fear in my eyes. I hadn’t thought that he would do something like this, but maybe I was wrong? “What? What was from the heart and what was sexy?” I just wanted to have a normal conversation, get him to bed and get out of here…

“I no rape you silly. You’re too pretty to take vantage of. And...you said you used to like me. Before I started terrorizing you in school. And then you grew to hate me because Issa dick. And what...what was sexy was you says I was tractive. I brought you here...I wanted to fix things...at first I just wanted to make things up to you. But I...I found out I really fuggin like you. A lot. And I wanted you to be able to forgives me an maybe….jus maybes you and I could...deserve each other again. And need each other. I fucked up...Twice. I let Gena get to me but I never wanted her back...I wanted you…” he was in tears by this point. “I still want you.” he whispered, lifting himself up and sniffling. He tried to get up but I grabbed him and pulled him back down on the bed.

“I want you too Zacky, but I really need to get to know you more...I need to work on myself more, because I’m so utterly fucked up.” I whispered, putting my head on his chest and hugging him. “I need to know the truth Zacky..did you two fuck? You came home with your chest and neck covered in hickies and didn’t come home till five or six in the morning. I’m upset that you went with her because for one you were driving drunk and I didn’t get another text message from you and I was so worried…” I had tears falling from my eyes, running down my face and soaking his shirt. I tried to sit up, but he kept me against him as he nuzzled the top of my head.

“Yes...we did. We fucked. But that was all it was, sex. I felt nothing for her. I felt more from just looking into your eyes. I guess I had know...I had know if my feelings for her were over. She left me broken and you started putting those pieces back together somehow...and I can’t explain it. But her and I...we have a history, and I thought maybe I still felt something for her...and the truth is the only one I could think about is you...Lucy...I moaned out your name, not Gena’s.” he told me and held me in his arms so tightly. I felt my mouth drop open, as I looked up at him.

“How’d she react?” My curiosity was getting the better of me, yeah I was shocked, but this was all so overwhelming by itself. “What keeps stopping you from telling me what I told you when I was drunk? Why did you kiss me? Why are you so damn confusing?” I questioned him one right after the other. I couldn’t stop myself from asking because I knew this was the only possible way for me to get the answers I needed.

“She got pissed off and I left because I realized it was you I wanted, not her. And she knew that too. We cut our ties she’s no longer part of my life. And I didn’t want to tell you before because I wanted it to be real and not just something a girl says to you when they’re drunk. If I told you, I was afraid you would correct that and crush my dreams...I kissed you because I got so overly frustrated, not with you but with myself. I want you...and I knew I probably won’t ever have you due to my last fuck up, so I just went for it. It was selfish. I shouldn’t have done it and I’m sorry. And I don’t know why I’m so goddamn confusing! I confuse myself half of the time! But you definitely don’t help. You confuse and distract me so hard its not even funny.” he explained and things started connecting. I propped myself up on his chest and looked into his eyes.

“Zacky, you didn’t fuck up enough to lose me you big ol dummy.” I whisper, leaning forward and pressing my lips against his softly. “You still didn’t tell me what I told you, because I can only sit here and think the absolute worst. And you can’t say that I’m confusing, I have only been upfront with you this whole time.” I pointed out to him, as I laid back on my back, staring up at his galaxy ceiling.

“Your mind is just a mystery to me….Oh by the way…” he said, rolling over on top of me and leaning down to whisper in my ear. “I’m so not even drunk. Totally was all an act!” he said plain as day my mouth dropped open. I went to get up and he stopped me, pulling me back against him before he kissed me causing explosions of warmth to burst within me. He finally pulled away and I just took off towards my room downstairs like a bat out of bat country. Thankfully Mel and Rach were passed out already and I just locked my door, going over to my bed and laying down.

My phone went off, causing me to jump as I read that it was from Zacky.

I’m sorry I tricked you, it was the only way I could get you to understand me...tomorrow, you and I can go out to dinner and I will tell you everything. Please don’t be upset at me. Sweet dreams beautiful.

I felt my face heat up, cursing him for having that sort of effect on me and I bit my lip. I don’t think that I could leave now, things were getting interesting and the hidden part of me wanted to kiss Zacky even more. His lips being so plump and his snake bites contrasted so well, causing my body to shudder in want. Ugh!

Forcing myself to get up and changed, I put on a tank top and stayed in my lacy red underwear before crawling under the covers and passing out.

What, oh what, could tomorrow hold?