Saving Grace

Today was everyone's favorite day of the week, Friday. The day where teenagers all across

Sacred Heart High School would go out drinking, smoking, partying or other reckless things that no

one would think private school kids would do. Don't get me wrong, I've done bad things, but those

were no where near my plans for tonight. It was 1:50 p.m. which meant in ten minutes I would

leave my boring English class and go to my car because school would be over. But today my routine

had an extra step because then I'm going to drive over to Walgreens for something I never

dreamed I would need. A pregnancy test. My stomach turned just thinking about it. Today marked

the three week date that my period had not come. I've been late before from being on and off the

pill but never this late. The bell rang and I gathered my things to trudge toward my locker amongst

the sea of impatient kids who had to slither and weave through people who were just annoyed as

they were. Then, for a second, everything slowed down as I passed one of the few people who for a

night, knew I existed. He wasn't the classic, beef football player and there was certainly no Hilary

Duff moment where he finally noticed and kissed me in the rain after a drought. Oh no. Nolan was

no where near that guy. He was pretty much like everyone else. A bit of a pot head, kind of tall and

always smelt like a Hollister that used to be a cigarette shop. I peaked over towards him from under

my bangs and was not surprised at all that I went unnoticed. I sighed to myself and reached my

locker. I shoved various binders in and retrieved my pale blue bag and proceeded towards the

school parking lot. I usually would swing by Lacey and Michael's locker and wait for them, but too

much was on my mind so I decided just to go right to my car. I opened the door to the clean March

air. It was almost relaxing to feel warm breezes caress my skin. However, nothing in the world could

distract my thoughts to what I was going to do. I climbed into my burgundy Elantra, put it in drive

and left the school to the Walgreens a few miles down. I drove in silence, my thoughts driving me

crazy to the point where I found myself blinking away tears. There was no way that my first and

only time had ended this way...right? Odds are stress is making me irregular, Dr. Morgan said that

it's possible because Lord knows I stress down to the littlest thing. I pulled into a space far away

and just sat for minute, lost in my own fear. I heard a buzz from my cup holder and saw that

Michael had texted me.

"Hey G, my neighbor is havin a going away party tonight with his friends n family n he said there'll

be some good lookin guys n some good lookin booze, u comin?"

I smiled to myself thinking how Michael claimed to be straight, but could still say funny things like

that.
"Srry, can't tonight mom said I hve to bring up grade in calc before I plan on leaving the house"

I lied. I mean I'm rough at calculus but not to the point of being on lockdown. I threw my phone in

the back seat, no wanting to stall going in any longer. I opened the door and walked through the

parking lot into the store. I strolled down the candy aisle and grabbed some starbursts, to either

celebrate or cry over with. I then went over to the health and wellness section. I grabbed two

packages, one from "First Response" and the other from "Clear Blue" which added up to a lot more

than I thought. Oh well, now was not the time to economize. I kept my head down just in case the

cashier went to my school which praise the Lord was not the case.

"Have a good day and be well" said an under enthusiastic cashier.

"You too" I subconsciously muttered.

I walked into my empty house and held my school bag containing the devil sticks and scurried

up the stairs into my room. I threw the starbursts on my bed and immediately went into the

bathroom in the hall. I grabbed a First Response one and took a Dixie mouthwash cup and peed

into the cup, feeling disgusted when a couple drops landed on my hand. I took the cap off the stick

and placed the stick in my pee... once again made me feel nauseous. I then put the cap back on. I

got a Clear Blue and did the same routine. While waiting the three minutes for the results, I went

back in my room to change. I slipped off my skirt, knee highs and shoes and exchanged them for

blue socks and "Class of 2016" sweat pants. I unbuttoned my white blouse and threw on an old

bible camp t-shirt I got ages ago. I looked up into the full body mirror and tightened the shirt around my abdomen. I looked for a couple seconds at my still flat stomach and muttered to

myself "No way".The clothes found their way to the hamper and I proceeded to wait the next little

bit of time in the bathroom. The clock now read "2:57" and I had done the deed a 2:54. It was

time. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears as my hands started sweating and shaking. I read

the packaging one last time. "Two lines bad, one line good" I thought to myself. I don't pray a lot,

but in my head I kept asking for one line and the words "Not pregnant" and kept saying how sorry I

feel for not waiting till marriage like I was taught to do. I took a deep breath and picked the stick

up. I had to make use of my other hand to turn the stick towards me because of how bad my hands

began to shake. The first thing I saw was a prominent, hot pink line. But, just to the left of it, a faint

pink line had formed, just enough to see. My stomach slightly dropped, my lunch began to rise and

my mouth salivated as if preparing myself to regurgitate right there. I didn't lose hope. I could've

just been seeing things due to the darkness of the right line's color. I dropped it on the sink and

grabbed the Clear Blue stick. Nothing could hide the results of this one. In bold black letters read

the word "Pregnant". I could no longer hold back the sick feeling in my stomach and threw up just

making it to the toilet. I leaned back against the wall and cried for what seemed like hours. What

have I gotten myself into...