Death of Us All

"And when midnight comes I've run out of time to Make some kind of difference But I realize I
constantly overlook the impact I've made Maybe I'm longing to change my own face To make you
proud, I wanna make you proud When you're looking down on me" The song played on the radio as I starred out the window, it was beautiful. The trees and their leaves were swaying back and forth. The grass was perfect length. But I wasn't starring at the trees nor grass nor how bright and blue the sky was. No I was watching my child. Lillee, she was playing outside with her friends Meagan and James. They were playing some kind of knight and princess game, they looked so cute. Lillee's blonde hair flew in the wind, Meagan's black hair did as well. I knew what was coming, I knew it would destroy her, she loved nature. She loved the smell of fall. The trees had this smell, or was it the grass or maybe the sky. Whatever it was it smelled amazing- that's what she loved. She loved the sweater weather, it was hot but the wind made it feel so good on your bare skin.

My husband was making lunch, pasta with veggies instead of sauce. I loved it, it sounded weird but it was amazing.. Better than sex to be honest, I could eat it day and night none stop and never get sick of it.

"Honey," He started, "Lunch is ready, get Lillee and her friends"

"Okay honey," I smiled, getting my pregnant self up. I opened the door and called "Lillee, Meagan and James lunch time, come in"

They rushed in, dropping all their wooden swords and what not outside, rushing to the sink and
washing their hands. I always loved eating like a family, it made my past not so empty.

About 2 hours later Meagan and James headed home, Lillee was sat on the couch watching some kid
show must have been sponge bob or something. I was sitting on the rocking chair, knitting like any
"housewife" would do. Occasionally looking up at what she was watching, usually when she called me or when she laughed. Her laugh was the cutest laugh ever, well that I heard a five year old
laugh. It wasn't loud nor quiet but in between. Her laugh always reminded me of my past, the past
that was taken from me, I never got to laugh and if I ever did, I'd get hit, with a spatula or a hand or
whatever they had. Leather belts were the worst. They stung longer, unlike a hand which would
leave a print but would only sting for a couple minutes. Belts would hurt for hours sometimes days,
when you or someone touched them the sting would come back.

"Okay sweetie, it's time to relax in bed," He came up to me, grabbing my arm helping me up the
stairs. He sat me on the bed, then left as usual.

I got out the radio and turned it on, making the black button turn red.

"Baby love, alright And I know life can be so strange But I know I can make a change I'mma wipe
away the clouds for ya I'm gonna be around for ya, I'm gonna paint the town for ya, I'm gonna make
a promise to give you everything you want and need, But she fucked up now, 'cause she's bearing
another mouth you can't feed" Played by Issues, my favourite band of all time. They always played
them, it was the best thing that could ever happen right now. Because what they spoke was
happening to me. My husband hated me, he just loved Lillee but even then he hit her. I was scared
for us. He knew what was going to happen and when it came, he was going to leave us like he
always does.

I know him, I know he will.