Alex Is Awesome

Alex was concerned about Jack. He wasn't answering any of the questions the interviewer was asking him.

Jack caught Alex's eye and he looked panicked, his big brown eyes wide in obvious distress as he shook his head minutely.

Oh shit.

The reason hit Alex like a ton of bricks. Jack's ears had gone. It had happened a couple of times since Jack had told the band about his deafness, but luckily never in a social situation. It seemed that Jack's luck had just run out. Alex would have to cover for him; it was only right.

"Yeah, so the new album..."

He said, not really paying attention to what he was saying. Instead he was just glad that he'd got the interviewer's attention off Jack and back onto him.

###

Later, when the interview was over and Jack had gone to his bunk to have a nap, Alex was lying on the couch in the back lounge. He was thinking about how best to solve the problem if Jack's ears went again in public.

"What you thinking about?"

Alex looked up and saw that it was Zack, leaning against the doorframe with his arms folded across his chest.

"Just thinking about what we'd do if Jack's ears go again in public, like in an interview or when we're doing a meet and greet," Alex answered, frowning a little, "Cause I can't keep taking over, 'cause the fans will start to think it's weird."

Zack hummed, "You have a point, why don't you go and talk to Jack about it?"

Alex sat up, a thought occurring in his mind, and said, "Yeah, might do that."

He went past Zack and continued towards the bunks. When he got there, Alex knocked gently on the wood next to Jack's curtain.

The curtain jerked open, and Jack's face was revealed as he mouthed, "Alex?"

"Hey Jack," Alex said, bending down and sitting on the bed, "I've had an idea."

Oh yeah? About what?

It was typed on Jack's phone, a saddening reminder to Alex that his best friend didn't want to talk. He thought that Jack's voice was one of the best things he'd ever heard, excluding the screams of the crowd when their band went onstage. It brought a sad smile to Alex's face, which Jack immediately picked up on.

Alex? What's up?

"I - nothing Jack," Alex said quickly, too quickly, "I've an idea. About how we can cover this...thing your ears do every so often."

There was a moment of Jack typing furiously on his phone and then he showed it to Alex, with a look of hope on his face.

Yeah? Tell me then Alex! C'mon tell me!

Alex could only hope that Jack would agree with his idea. He gulped nervously.

"Well, my idea is to...well. Tell the fans?"

Even as he said it, Alex could see Jack curling back into a ball. He'd said the wrong thing. Fuck!

"No Jack, I meant, just tell them that you're..."

But before Alex could get any further with his sentence, he was interrupted by Jack shoving his phone into his face, the screen glowing brightly.

Alex! I don't want to be known as the 'deaf one' - which I know I will be, and everyone will be all sympathetic and shit, and I just don't want that!

"I - I, fuck. Sorry, I shouldn't have suggested it," Alex stuttered, an unfamiliar feeling settling in his stomach, making him feel slightly sick, "It was a stupid idea. Just forget it."

He stood up, stretching his legs as he did so, and went to the back lounge. He intended to try and figure out what that feelings was that was filling his stomach. He'd never felt like that before, at least not around Jack. He'd always felt happy and good with Jack. To now feel like his world was crashing down without the slightest warning was...odd to say the least.

His mind whirled as he tried to make sense of these new, new feelings. Why had they appeared now? He thought that maybe, just maybe, that these new feelings had been inside him for a while, but he'd never be aware of them before now. Alex thought that it was a valid theory. But how to test it? He could go and spend more time with Jack (and that made his heart jump for some reason), but he couldn't. Not when he'd fucked up.

###

Alex must've fallen asleep on the couch because the best thing he was aware of was Rian poking him.

Barley raising his head out of the cushion it was buried it, he mumbled, "Rian, quit it."

Alex heard the drummer laugh and then say, "Not until you get up."

"Why?" Alex asked, rolling onto his back and glaring at Rian.

"Because..." Rian looked behind him and then continued, "You just have to."

"Don't wanna."

"That's it."

The next thing Alex felt was the floor as he fell on it.

"Ow. I hate you Rian." He grumbled, getting up slowly, wincing at the way his back cracked.

Rian laughed again, "No you don't."

As Alex walked with Rian through to the kitchen, he thought about how he'd failed at figuring out what was wrong with him. He'd fallen asleep instead. But, he guessed, that there would be more time for him to work through his feelings at another time.

"Hey Alex."

Alex looked up from the floor as he sat down on the stool, his eyes focusing on Jack, who was sat across from him.

Rather than making actual noise, his mouth just moved uselessly.

Jack laughed, his best friend was such a dork sometimes. But he'd helped him and for that Jack would be forever grateful.

"Yeah, my hearing came back."

Alex's face split into a wide grin as he got up and went around the table. He gave Jack a big hug and then pulled away, frowning.

"But how? You said it normally takes a couple of days." Alex said in confusion.

Jack shrugged, "I dunno why, but damn it's good to hear you lot again."

They laughed and started to eat the pizza that one of the crew had brought back with them.

###

A few days later and Alex was with Jack in his bunk and Jack was snuggled into Alex's side. Alex was bizarrely content with the close contact. He couldn't be happier. Almost all Alex could hear was the rush of blood in his ears; he could only just hear the movie they were watching.

Maybe this is what it felt like to be Jack, he thought.

"Hey Alex?" Jack said quietly.

"Mmhm?" Alex responded, blinking and focusing his gaze on Jack's face, which was tilted up towards him.

"Why - why have you been so nice to me over the past few days?"

Alex could feel his blood turning to ice. Jack had figured it out! He'd figured out what had hit Alex a couple of days ago like a brick. He'd figured out that Alex loved him and he was gonna hate him and...

"Alex! Look at me!"

He focused again on Jack, who had moved so he was sitting opposite him, clutching his hands. Alex was confused - when had that happened? He blinked, trying to frantically remember when Jack had moved.

"Alex! Calm down! Eyes on me!"

Alex fixed his eyes on Jack's (gorgeous) brown ones and began to slow his breathing. It took a few minutes but he regained his normal breathing pattern.

He smiled, "Thanks Jack."

They sat there in a comfortable silence until Alex realised that they were still holding hands and promptly blushed bright red.

"Shit, sorry." He said, untangling his fingers as quickly as he could.

But Jack just tightened his hold on Alex's fingers, saying, "N-no. I like it."

Alex's eyes went wide, "What?"

It was Jack's turn to blush, and Alex thought that was adorable.

"I like it. Holding hands with you." Jack admitted.

And so as they settled down to watch the movie again, Jack's fingers curled around Alex's.

It was nice, Alex thought as he looked at the screen.

###

Alex smiled after Jack hugged him. Sometimes it really did feel like Jack felt the same way he did. But of course, he didn't. There was no way that Alex's best friend had more than a best friend interest in him. That kind of thing just didn't happen to Alex.

Since their last tour, Alex had noticed that Jack had spent most of his time - when he wasn't visiting family - with Alex. Alex couldn't understand why he would rather spend all his time with a guy he already spent a good chunk of the year with, in a tour bus no less. But he couldn't complain, it gave them more opportunities to watch films and get drunk and do dumb stuff.

"Hey Alex." Jack said.

Jack's ears hadn't gone since they'd come off tour and Alex was selfishly pleases because it meant that maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to pluck up the courage and tell Jack that he loved him.

(He'd first had the urge to do that months ago, when they'd just come off stage and Jack smiled at him and said "That was a great show!"
Alex had thought that his heart was going to jump straight out of his chest and those three words were on the tip of his tongue and it just made sense to say them. But before he could, Rian and Zack had come in.)

"Yeah Jack?" Alex replied from his position sprawled across the floor with his dogs on either side of him.

Jack laughed at his position. Alex thought that was the best sound he'd heard ever, but then he was very biased because he thought that everything Jack did was wonderful.

It was amazing that Jack hadn't caught him staring like a fucking lovesick puppy, Alex thought, absently scratching Peyton's ears.

"I want you to tell me the truth," Jack said, looking at Alex with his big brown eyes, and Alex was fucked, "I want...I want you to tell me if you like me."

"Of course I like you Jack! You're my best friend!" Alex said, trying to hide the blush that he fucking knew was spreading on his face by turning over.

"Then why are you blushing?"

"I'm - I'm not!"

"Liar! Tell me!" Jack insisted.

Alex gulped audibly and felt a bead of sweat form on his forehead. But, he decided, if he was going to lose his best grid to a stupid crush (it was more than that), he was going to be looking him in the eye.

With that though in mind, Alex stood up and sat on the sofa with Jack, trying not to let his hands shake.

"Jack... Jack..."Alex said, not wanting to continue but feeling like he had to, regardless of the consequences, "I - I love you."

Alex watched as Jack's eyes went wide and he thought that he'd ruined their friendship, that there was no going back from this.

"W-what?"

"Jack, I fucking love you and not in the 'best friend' way either!" Alex said, sighing and adding, "Fuck, I actually said it."

"Alex, you - you love me? I mean truly?" Jack said, sounding shocked, which he was. Alex loved him of all people. Him?

Alex nodded, suddenly shy, "Yeah, I do Jack."

Jack was silent for a few everlasting minutes. It seemed to Alex that time was dragging along just to torture him, fucking with him and giving him time to think about what Jack was going to say and what his reaction would be. It was fucking with his head when Jack finally said something.

"Really? You're not fucking with me?"

"No! I would never do that to you!"

Jack didn't miss the 'you' on the end of the sentence, implying that he would do that to other people but not him. And that made his heart swell with affection for the man on the floor in front of him. He smiled.

"Jack?"

Jack blinked and focused on Alex. Smiling, he said, "Yeah?"

"Do - do you like...me? In that way?" Alex said nervously. He gulped, trying to get rid of the lump that had lodged itself in his throat.

It was completely silent between the two best friends for a moment until Jack's smile widened and he said, almost muttering it, "Yeah I do."

"Wow, I never - I never actually thought that you'd like me - oomph!"

Alex never did get to finish his sentence because Jack hade began to kiss him and it was making his head spin. All he could focus on was the warmth that was bleeding through Jack's fingers at Alex's hips and the way his tongue was being sucked gradually into Jack's mouth.

When they pulled away from each other, Jack was breathing heavily as he looked at Alex and said, in a quiet, reverent voice, "I love you Alex."

"I love you Jack." Alex replied in the same tone of voice, bumping their noses against each other.